Brian,

Apologies for the delayed reply, but I read the wonderful news of your Dad's and your own progress with much happiness.  Long may it last for both of you.

I couldn't agree more with your words about how good it was to find this site, and what a difference it has made to share stories with so many people.  It always makes me feel better to think that people will take the time to help, and for that I am grateful.

We are in a better place than a week ago - the future is completely uncertain for my mum, in terms of time, but she is at ease and comfortable and rested and in a wonderful hospice where she is getting amazing care.  I've been with her as much as possible, and will be going again this weekend.

For now, things are as good as they can be under the circumstances and for that we have to take comfort.

Thanks again for all your words of support,

Catherine x

Hi Catherine

Just read your recent posts to Mickied and Brian (always so supportive to everyone on the forum) and am so pleased to read that your Mum is a lot more comfortable and peaceful in the hospice surroundings.  Somehow it makes visiting that much easier when you feel the warmth from the staff which includes the whole family not matter what your age.  I am also sure that your Mum will feel a lot less like a 'number' and more a real person with real needs (which are addressed) as the staff are very caring and considerate.  Wishing you all a peaceful weekend and a good visit to see your Mum and Dad. virtual hugs and best wishes. Jules

Hi Catherine,

There is absolutely no need to apologize for you have so many thing to worry about. I feel glad your mother is in a good hospice. I found out when my mother was in one, they are better at administering pain relife far better than a hospital. And the staff seem to have more time to spend with the patient.

So I am very pleased to hear your mother is at ease. This must be a big relief for you but you must feel tired from all the travelling you are doing. I hope this period of peace for your dear mother continues and that she increases in strength as a result. It is so hard when our loved ones future is uncertain for we cant make plans.

I felt my mother would be here forever and I do still miss her. She would be so proud of her great grandchildren and is missing seeing them grow up. But I have met up with my sister twice in the last week or ,and who only lives about 1 1/2 hours drive from where I live and who I knew nothing about until about twenty years ago. My mother had to have her adopted when she was a young baby and I only found out about her after finding my father in Canada. I spent last Sunday walking round a National Trust garden with her and several times things she said reminded me so much of my mother. She has the same zany sense of humour as my mother so although she never met my mother until I managed to locate her about twenty years ago, I feel a part of my mother lives on in my sister.

Anyway I have rambled enough for one day. Please take care and I send best wishes to you, you mother and family, Brian.

Hi Catherine

There is no need to apologise.  I am so glad that my input helped a bit and thank you for this.

I am so glad to hear your mum is more comfortable and is aware of what is happening in the hospice.  The staff there must do a wonderful job and as Jules says the people there are treated like a person and not another number by other members of the medical profession.  Just take each day as it comes Catherine and enjoy your time with your mum even if it is just to sit and hold her hand and let her know you are there.  I am sure your mum was delighted to see your little one last weekend.

I wish there was more I could say Catherine to make things easier but there isn't.

Just found out the other day a brother of my father's is in hospital with bronchial pnuemonia in both lungs and it doesn't look too good.

Take care and keeping your mum in my prayers

Mickied

Thanks so much for getting in touch Jules - you are absolutely right, we have all been so much more comfortable visiting Mum this last week, and the hospice staff just work around us and never make us feel like we are in the way.  In fact quite the opposite.  The ratio of staff to patients is pretty much 1 to 1 so the level of care is extremely high and nothing is too much trouble.

Thanks as always for your kind words and the virtual hugs, they are much needed and much appreciated!

Take care and thinking of you and your husband often xx

Hi Mickied - sorry, that last message I posted was in reply to yours, but I didnt put your name on it!  Take care xx

Hi Brian,

Like you, I thought Mum would be here forever, it is only really when something like this happens that you realise that we are all here for quite short time really, and that we are very dependent emotionally on our loved ones.  It's that reason that makes me feel so vulnerable when I think of mum not being here.  But as you say, I often think of your words about parents living on in their children and it was lovely to read your story of your sister, who is proof of this.  It sounds like you have had  some big events happen in your life, some very happy and some very sad, but I am sure these have all helped make you the very kind and wise man you so clearly are!

Thank you for all your good wishes,

Catherine x

Hello everyone,

I'm afraid to say that this is the message I never wanted to write, but sadly knew would come at some point soon.  My darling Mum passed away in the early hours of this morning.  We all managed to be with her (just, as after several days and nights of sitting at her bedside, had decided to take short sleep shifts so it was a bit of a panic to get everyone up in time) but fortunately the wonderful nurses at the hospice helped us achieve this.  Despite the horrendous situation, the nurses were able to keep her comfortable and pain free, and Mum's last minutes were peaceful and with those who loved her so much.

It has been the strangest day - I think we are all exhausted and numb, but have gone from moments of joy and laughter as we think about Mum, to moments of immense sorrow and disbelief.  I guess this is normal.

I'm in such a state this evening that I am struggling to find the words that I want to say.  But, and forgive me if this seems a little indulgent, I did just want to come on here and pay tribute to my mum, by saying what a wonderful person she is, and that we could not have wished for a better Mum, wife and grandmother (and, also, judging by the state of my husband today, am guessing she was considered a wonderful mother-in-law too!)  None of us quite know what our lives will be like without her, but we know they will always be richer for her having been in them.

My thoughts continue to be with those going through the ordeal of cancer at the moment, and also to all of you who have been so kind to support me as I have tried to come to terms with Mum's illness.  Your kindness has been so very appreciated.

Thank you everyone, Catherine xx

Catherine, my thoughts are with you and the rest of your family during this saddest of times. It was  a lovely tribute to your Mum that you found the strength to post so soon after your loss. She will live in your heart forever and has helped make you who you are. Am pleased for you all that you were able to be with her during her last few days and that she passed with the comfort of her family around her in such peaceful and pain free surroundings. Sending virtual hugs.Jules x