Unsure if I want to know husband's prognosis

Hi - my husband has recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer - metastatic- had bone scan & ct scan & we’re waiting to see the oncologist to give us the prognosis & see how far the cancer has gone.

I desperately want to be there with my husband for the oncologist meeting but, although he wants to know, I’m not sure I can face knowing how long he may have in actual years. I feel such a coward - I’m just not sure what to do. Feeling very selfish & frightened.

  • Hi Eddie - really sounds like positive news for your daughter & yourself with treatment going forward. Feels like they’re really on top of situations which is very reassuring. 
    Thanks for the tip with Menoforce - anything that might help is very welcome. He also has a cold pack for his forehead sometimes which is really quick to lower his temperature. Every little helps as they say. 
    Thanks for keeping in touch & take good care. 
    Love Linda x

  • Morning Linda, you are welcome, and it's always good to hear from you, and thank you, I have had some good news lately which is welcome especially regarding Mandy, I have MDT meeting No5 on Tuesday "my 5th in 8 weeks", hopefully my last for some time, and we can finally make some holiday plans, as you probably know, we do like holidays, say hi to hubby for me and take good care of yourself too.

    love Eddie xx

  • Hi Eddie - just to wish you a Happy New Year. Hope you are doing ok & have been able to plan some much loved holidays! Hope also your daughter is getting on well. 
    We had a short blip when my husband’s bp went up too high so he had to have tablets to get that down. Thankfully they’re working so the next step is hearing the date for radiotherapy. Generally he’s coping well & getting on with life.

    Deep snow here today so could be digging the sleds out if grandchildren arrive. Take care.

    Love Linda x

  • Hi - just wondering how things are with you & your husband. I was thinking what a ‘journey’ this all is & how what’s happened has put so many things into perspective. 
    We’re now waiting on date for radiotherapy treatment - think the word ‘waiting’ is definitely something we’ve had to get used to & certainly patience. 
    if you have time please let me know how you are. 
    Love Linda xx

  • Hi Linda, and happy new year to you both,I'm sorry to hear hubby's BP was up, but good to hear it's been sorted, and best wishes for the radiotherapy, have you been given a rough idea when it will happen?, and it's great to hear he's getting on with life, as I hope are you.

    Mandy, started chemotherapy last Thursday, and is doing really well, my youngest "son" and DIL,  gave me 2 beautiful new granddaughters this morning, just after 3am, Lesley and Pauline, named after their Nana's, and mum are doing well and granddad couldn't be happier.

    I am on holiday now, visiting friends in Dufftown in the Cairngorms, but home today before the snow arrives or we will get snowed in, sounds like fun getting the sledges out, take care.

    love Eddie xx 

  • Aw Eddie - MANY Congratulations on the arrival of your grandchildren!! What lovely news for the New Year! Bet you can’t wait to meet them.! Sounds like your daughter is well underway - great to hear too!! 
    Nige hopes radiotherapy will start before the end of January - he’s got appointment on 15/1 to discuss. 
    Must be beautiful up in Scotland - a place very dear to our hearts. Safe journey home. 
    Love Linda xx

  • Thank you Linda, I'm hoping to see them this week, but as I live in Yorkshire and my son on the Welsh borders, getting there might be difficult.

    That's good to hear Nige's RT is soon, will his appointment be to get his tattoos too.

    I love Scotland too, I was born in Oban, and have family their as well  

  • Hi again Eddie - we love Oban - so pretty. 
    We’ve had to wait for Nige to be on hormone therapy for minimum 3 months so not sure how quickly they’ll start RT. The appointment on 15/1 is a telephone one but Nige is going to ring tomorrow to see if he can get face to face instead. We’ve certainly learned that patience is a virtue during this journey & very little can be rushed. So don’t think he’ll be getting any tattoos soon. 
    We used to live in North Yorkshire nr Richmond & now live in County Durham (originally from Essex & moved up with Nige’s job). Adore the north east & been here almost 30 years.

    Love Linda xx

  • Hi Linda, sorry about the delay, just got back from Scotland,  9 hours of sliding on ice, aquaplaning, thick fog and diversions, lovely, lol, 

    A three month wait would be very quick for RT to start, they usually like to give HT a good time to  work on the cancer and shrink it before Rt starts, to give it the best chance possible, and good luck getting a face to face 

    So your an Essex girl, I've never been, but I have been to Durham, I studied English history  at University there,, and my 1st partner and mother to 3 of our kids came from there also, love Northumberland, 30 years there and at Richmond Wow, good luck for the 15th 

    love Eddie xx 

  • Hello Linda 

    My husband had RT on his spine early December which was done within 48 hours, very quickly, this is where the Cancer had spread to from prostate. 

    He has since had 2 Hormone jabs which have taken his PSA level from 46 to 4 !

    So they are pleased but want to follow up with 6 zaps of RT, unsure when this will be. 

    We live in Cambs and they do seem to be pretty good, although I daren’t speak too soon. 

    I went through Ovarian Cancer with my Mum so I know how it can change your outlook on everything, people never think it’s going to happen to them, it has always something in the forefront of my mind I must admit. 

    Did your hubby have any luck with a F2F appt at all ? 

    xxxxxx