Oh my, that's a difficult one for sure. He is in denial isn't he but the really sad thing is whatever this is may well be treatable...if only he would take that first step. How many are there in the family? I wonder how he would react if you all came together to let him know how you feel? But I expect you've already done that....

How about writing it all in a letter? How scared you are and you'd do anything to help him and will be there beside him....I really feel for you love, I do hope you can get somewhere with him....

Another thought is phoning the Samaritans ( or similar) to get it all out...this will be building up inside you and I can guess your feeling pretty useless.

I do hope and pray your dad seeks the help he needs ....xx

Oh my, that's a difficult one for sure. He is in denial isn't he but the really sad thing is whatever this is may well be treatable...if only he would take that first step. How many are there in the family? I wonder how he would react if you all came together to let him know how you feel? But I expect you've already done that....

How about writing it all in a letter? How scared you are and you'd do anything to help him and will be there beside him....I really feel for you love, I do hope you can get somewhere with him....

Another thought is phoning the Samaritans ( or similar) to get it all out...this will be building up inside you and I can guess your feeling pretty useless.

I do hope and pray your dad seeks the help he needs ....xx

Hi Marlyn and thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Yes I am an only child, though I did bless my parents with 4 grandchildren so there's never been a quiet or dull moment My dad is quite hard to talk to as well, also if he doesn't want to do something he won't.  he is a very private man. Looking at him and listening to him I'd say this is not treatable, he is so poorly. I cry every time I leave their house because every time I see him he looks worse than the last time. Even My youngest son has made his feelings known (he's 14) I read out a message to my dad that he wanted my dad to hear about getting help and my dad just glared at me and never said a word. We are all at a bit of a loss really, but my mom is on the verge of calling the doctors even though they can't really do anything without my dads consent, I just worry that when the time comes my mom will feel guilty that she felt like she didn't do enough. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it though eh.  I love your idea about a letter though, words don't come easy to me and neither to my dad. This could be the way to go. Thank you again xx

I wonder if your eldest son would write too? Sometimes it's much easier to fill a page, at least that way you'll never look back and be sorry that dad never knew how you felt. Once you've committed your emotions on paper I know you'll feel a little more relief, then the ball is in dad's court....I wish you all the best in this love, I know it's not easy for any of you xx

Hi Marlyn, thought I would pop on to give an update. My dad got quite poorly yesterday, he couldn't drink fluids which resulted in him telling my mom to call the doctors, he wasn't poorly to the point where as he needed an ambulance but we've had a chat today and my Dad admitted that he could feel himself going down hill the last few weeks and he'd had enough of feeling so poorly. So the doctor came out today and assessed him and said it's 'possibly' cancer in his throat, he refered to it as a mass. There's a small passage where liquid can pass so my dad should still be able to drink. He weighed in at 6 stone and has been given fortisips to help with that and antibiotics for his chest which the doctor recons is the onset of Emphysema. He's got to have a camera and a chest X-ray and bloods to be taken too. Sorry for all that information but I'm really happy that things are happening now. He admitted today that this should have been done sooner. Which ever way this goes, I'm just glad he's seeking help now. Thank you for your lovely words too xx

Oh gosh, so much happening so quickly. Your poor dad was scared to seek help earlier but at least finally he knew he needed something to happen and it's got you all talking, the relief for your mum also must be massive. Like you say, whatever happens from here at least things are being done and with your dad's consent....he made that decision in the end and that's a huge relief for you all.....

I wish you all the best in whatever happens...thanks for the update...you've passed through my mind a few times since you posted... ️ ️ ️ ️ ️

Absolutely! Yes he was so open about it all today and it felt so easy to be able to talk about it with him. My poor mom is mentally exhausted, but she's happy that these steps have been taken now but she was hoping he would have been admitted to hospital today and he was prepared for that too so she says. It's just a matter of waiting for appointments and procedures now, but the hardest job is done and that's him seeking the help he needs. 
Oh that's lovely to read, these times you can feel quite alone which ever the end of the situation you're in. Thanks again and hope you're well too xx

Hi if you don't mind me asking how did your dad get on as I am going through this at the moment my dad has had in once but I'm worried it has come back and he didn't want to go the Drs