Is my partner lying about possible cancer?

Hello, I'll try and keep this short. 

I have identified a lot of red flags in the below story, but it would be great to have someone else's opinion on this.

I told my husband I wanted to leave him yesterday, lots of arguing followed and then he told me he had been to A&E that day and has been told he might have cancer. To be fair to him, he has had some symptoms of anal cancer but has been refusing to go to his gp. Now all of a sudden he has taken himself off to the emergency department and within 2 hours has given a stool sample, had a biopsy, blood tests and had a camera in his anus to look at his issue. This just seems like a lot to me in a very short space of time. He said they would email him the results in 2 weeks.

I asked why he didn't take anyone with him, why he didn't call while he was there, why it took 6 hours to tel me etc.

Can someone please clarify if any of the above sounds believable?

Thanks 

  • They wont email results, they dont even like to give them over the phone. They would be making an appointment with a specialist nurse. 

  • Thank you, I thought as much. I've had enough hospital appointments of my own to think this was suspicious. 

  • Hi Berni nothing what he says rings true, he would have had a scan straight away and the colonoscopy and biopsy needs a few hours of preparation.PS i had anal cancer

    Eddie

  • Thanks Eddie, I appreciate your response. Looks like i have some difficult conversations and decisions to make. 

  • I really don't think these things are as simple as people make them out to be. For example, there are various ways to get your results. Residents in England can access their NHS app and get information from there, GP's can access results, you can receive them face to face, and yes, you can receive this news over the phone. They do prefer the face to face method, but my wife has received news over the phone as have many others on here. I'm not sure about the email thing, though. But if requested, it doesn't seem like they can refuse such a request.

    Red flags that i picked up on. Getting a colonoscopy requires preparation. It's not something you can just turn up and get randomly. Your large bowel needs to be free from waste, hence, why people getting one need to do the prep the day before. But there are different types of camera procedures up the backside. Some look at the entire bowel, some just look at the first part of the bowel. A&E being what it is, scans etc outside of your normal xrays require a good reason. He'd have to have been having a decent prolonged bleed for that to have even been a thing. So that sounds a bit off

    You're in a decent position as to find out whether it's the truth or not. He has given you a timeline of 2 weeks. So in 2 weeks, ask him to show you a hospital letter, the email or whatever. Everything from the hospital will have a header on it. Usually will also contain a PDF file containing a copy of the letter. He's not obligated to show you any of this, but actions will speak louder than words in the case. If he's coy once he says he has the results, then it doesn't take a genius to add 2+2 together. You can also ask to go to the hospital with him. but that on it's own means nothing. I hate people going to hospital with me, and rarely have anyone tag along. I get really irritated with others in a hospital setting due to nerves. I prefer to quietly stew in the corner.

  • Also if a biopsy was taken they would have given some paperwork to confirm whats been done. He wouldn’t have been told that and left the hospital with nothing. You can call Macmillan and speak to a nurse for their opinion, they are great. When my partner had a camera it was planned, biopsy was only taken due to finding something. We left with lots of info. Results took 5 days x

  • Also when/if its confirmed a letter will be posted of the conversation that was had x

  • Daisy he would have needed a scan  an colonoscopy first to locate any tumour BEFORE having a biopsy

  • You are right to be suspicious, it would be a miracle if the NHS was able to accomplish so much in such a short space of time.
    Not impossible but in our local ED it typically takes 3 hours to even see the triage nurse, another 2 hours to see a junior doctor and unless it is an emergency, several hours (usually overnight) before the bowel has been evacuated sufficiently for an endoscopy to be performed. 
    Results are NEVER supposed to be emailed to a patient as this breaches NHS IT security rules.
    You might receive results via the NHS app but best practice is for these to be given face to face with a doctor and a specialist nurse. 

  • Offline in reply to ProfBaw

    Yes they are. I’ve known medics face disciplinary action for communicating with patients via email - it is several years since most hospitals met the 4 hour waiting time target and that’s only the waiting time to be seen by anyone, let alone prepped and shoehorned into a busy endoscopy department’s schedule. My own wait for that was six months.  
    Even NHS to NHS emails are only permitted using secure emails - with end to end encryption. 
    The NHS app is secure but he stated “by email” which should never happen.