Just wanted to say I am desperate, cryiing, I had a negative CT scan but I had symptoms which do not go away. Started a year ago and did not go to the doctor because of Covid. I am losing hope as I feel the endoscopy will show cancer in the oesophagus. I was happy with the CT scan the doctor said that it does not show at least any large cancer which metastasised.
I am desperate, and this forum is the only place that I can say it. I called the samaritans before. I want to fight for my children but I am also thinking that a quick end is better. At the same time I know I would prefer that there is a treatment after the endoscopy. I am just a wreck. It is horrible, horrible and thinking that I did not go because of the fear of covid (I have an underlying heart conditions) makes me more sad and angry. Thinking it is better to die from a heart attack, I had one some years back.
