Hi Loubell1,

Did you ever get any answers on the fast progression from CIN1 to 3? I too was diagnosed last year with HPV and no abnormalities. This year I have been diagnosed with HPV and high grade severe dyskaryosis. The rate of growth over the past 12 months is obviously concerning me and raises the same question. My Colposcopy is in 4 days time. It would be good to hear how you have got on and if you have learned anything new since your last post.

Hi, hope you're well!

im going through a similar experience now and very anxious and worried! :( do you mind sharing your outcome?x

Hi, thank you for your kind words. Ahh I'm definitely feeling tired now after so many double shifts, and it didn't make the time go faster tbh! Today is exactly 2 weeks since my loop & biopsy, feels like it's been years! I'm so drained both physically & emotionally at this point. :( My heart is jumping out of my chest whenever I see my phone, so scared that it'll ring to come in to discuss the results! Every day I'm hoping it'll just be a letter but oh so anxious I've lost control over myself.. how long did it take you to receive the biopsy results?x I was told 2 weeks but still nothing, getting even more worried now :sad:

Did you get your smear results by the way?? Xx

It took around 6 weeks for my results to come back I think. By then i'd forgotten about it. When I was talking to the nurses they advised me to see my doctor over the anxiety because they can give medication to help me gain control and calm my emotions. Even if only temporary it may do my body more good than being in a constant state of panic and anxiety. I'm not big on meds and not really happy taking them but what they said did make sense and had I not have had other strategies to help my anxiety I would have run with their advise as a short term, temporary solution. This may be a possibility for you that you could benefit from if you are struggling as living in this constant state of fear and anxiety is no good. Maybe even just speaking to your doctor again they may be able to put you at ease with further discussion or a short term solution. 

No I havn't had them back yet. I don't expect them for another 6 weeks and i'm not worried. If something is there they can crack on with treating it again. Or that's what I tell myself. But tbh I'm just assuming i'm ok. I havn't sensed anything off about myself and the nurse said it lookes good where as last time she did pick up on something so I'm just getting on  with living my life. I don't think about it. Speak to your doctor again won't you. Try to get a bit more support from them. X

Oh wow 6 weeks, so long! I was told 2 but still nothing! I'm thinking of calling the colposcopy department next Monday if still no results by then. Just scared the receptionist will tell me to wait for a docs call which will make me faint at this point ;( I was already looking at the valerian root and cbd, almost bought it but giving it a few more days as I'm also very much against any medication even if natural :( hopefully will hear something soon x how was your latest smear test after the lletz? Are you in the clear now? Xx

Ah I see! I wish I could think like you! I wish I was normal, always struggled with mental health but this brought up massive flare ups :( ahh... I'm glad you're feeling ok! I'm just so so worried because I felt something being off with my reproductive organs for over 2 years but was ignored by gps and a&e.. they kept doing sti tests, seeing it's clear and sending me home with no answers. Maybe I'll ring the hospital tomorrow I'm not sure, kinda think if the results were cancer they'd be calling sooner? Or perhaps it's the other way around, I'm overthinking everything. 
anyways thank you for replying, it's great seeing someone being in a complete opposite state of mind while going through a similar experience! I really need to work on my mind! Xx

I'm still waiting for the smear test results. It will be fine. I understand re: the meds thing. Luckily I trained in Somatic Movement Education and able to adopt more holistic approaches and changes in perspective but different strokes for different folks. Let me know how you get on. I'm sending you lots of healing energy. I know we shouldn't say but I geniunely feel that you're going to be ok but try to get control and really take super good care of yourself. X

Whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better make sure you do. Never wait to do it. Your mental health is paramount. Make sure you put that first above anything else starting now. I don't know what normal is by the way. I've seen loads of therapists, watch alot of youtube videos. You gotta do whatever helps. We're all just human, all just experiencing. It's a beautiful thing. 

Ah that's nice! I'm into hot yoga myself which had gotten rid of my panic attacks and anxiety by 80-99%, but now due to the loop procedure I can not practice that for at least 2-3 more weeks! It was definitely my escape, I used to go for 2h a day 5-6 days a week. Spinning out of control now due to not being able to do that which brought all my past mental health issues to the surface plus waiting on the biopsy results anxiety, what a mix... my mind is in a constant anxiety overdrive doing weird things now. I'm googling what you said you did, the somatic movement! Sounds interesting xx thank you for your kind and wise words x :love:

Very beautifully said, yes indeed! I'm usually well in control of my mind and very calm no matter what thankful for every second on this beautiful planet, but this experience has thrown me into a complete chaos like into a tornado storm of emotions, arghh feels like a dream honestly don't even remember yesterday or this morning, time is kinda standing still yet a day feels like multiple lifetimes and emotions! Hopefully all will be better soon and I will learn something from this

Very beautifully said, yes indeed! I'm usually well in control of my mind and very calm no matter what thankful for every second on this beautiful planet, but this experience has thrown me into a complete chaos like into a tornado storm of emotions, arghh feels like a dream honestly don't even remember yesterday or this morning, time is kinda standing still yet a day feels like multiple lifetimes and emotions! Hopefully all will be better soon and I will learn something from this

Look up ways and techniques to ground yourself. Most techniques are not very physical. Even something as simple as eyes closed, getting on all fours, hands and knees and just pushing into the ground, feeling your connection to the ground and whilst paying attention to what arises in your body. Just noticing or witnessing but not judging. I could spend forever exploring the connection to my body and the ground. Lol. And why not take the opportunity to explore the sensations that arise in your body when you are in those emotional states. See what you notice. You can reflect on them also by writing or drawing etc. One small exercise can pass so much time and you can always learn something new.   You'll find something that works for you.  X

Those are great tips, thank you! :hugs: 

Hello Vindaly9,

How are you doing? Just wondering how you're getting on and if you have heard anything?

I recieved a text msg from the hospital today to confirm an appointment at the colposcopy clinic on the 4th July. I hadn't even recieved my results from my 6 month follow up smear test and called the doctors 3 times this week and each time they said they didn't have the results. So when i recieved this text I called them again and they refused to put me through to a doctor and asked me to book an appointment for next wednesday. I refused to get off the phone and wore the receptionist down until she put me on hold to get help in dealing with me. Funnily enough when she took me off hold they suddenly had my results. I was fumming. Long story short, my smear test came back as negative so no abnormalities but I still have HPV. Sooo, I guess I turn up to appointment and let them deal with it again.

I'd love to hear how you are doing. 

Kelly

Hi hun! 
 

I've received a letter 3 weeks after my Lletz(loop excision), it was CIN3 with hpv. I think I've had it for at least 6-7 years (had trouble with getting regular smears due to living in America and what not) I also had crazy symptoms last couple years that are now finallyyyy gone! 
It's has now been 6 weeks and 3 days after my procedure and I'm completely healed. Had a hemmorhage around week 3 post treatment, ended up in a hospital overnight as blood was coming like a waterfall and when I walked in to A&E they put me on that rolling bed right away with like 10 doctors running around me before me even talking to a receptionist! was so bad but now thankfully all good! I still see that moment in my nightmares omg! Had to take some blood stopping pills for 4 days after being discharged. Just waiting for my 6 months follow up smear now which will be by the end of October! I feel reborn honestly! Nothing phases me anymore I'm happy every day! 
wow that's crazy that you had to go trough so much to get the results! They should understand the anxiety we all feel around it and just tell us the results if it's not the c word! strange that you need a colposcopy appointment for just hpv, I thought it was impossible to get rid of this virus? Just have to monitor for no more abnormal tissues to form because we carry hpv?? Hmm perhaps we will now have to be seen by a colposcopist for as long as hpv is present! I think that's the case for sure. I'm glad no new abnormalities for you tho, that's so relieving to hear! <3 keep me updated how your appointment in July goes too! :) hope you're not worried as the results are fine! :love: I don't think they will be doing any procedures for you as no abnormal tissue from smear found, probably will just double check as we are high risk xx

Also just want to say in moments of high anxiety when waiting for results I heard your words in my head and it really helped me :love: :love: I was in such a dark place mentally I can't even describe! Next week starting hot yoga again finally too! X 

Oh my goodness. I can't beleive everything you've gone through. I'm so so happy for you I could cry. Over the moon for you and the fact that you feel reborn. There's no better feeling. Yeah, i'm thinking the previous CIN 3 isuue makes us high risk. I read that the proceedure can get rid of the virus but for some people it takes longer and for some it never goes away. I'm not going to lie I did have a massive anxiety attack when  I recieved the appointment and no results. And i've never cursed as much in 1 hour in my life. I think my frustration and fight kicked in and I was on the offensive until I got answers. I'll have to ask more questions when I go to my appointment. X

Ahhh I can imagine the feeling of getting such letter before your results omg! :shocked: they really should've sent both letters together! So so good that your results are okay, now it's just a matter of not missing your follow ups! :love: I'm sure I'll be nervous for my first post 6 months smear tho but definitely not as much as when I thought I had the c word! Even if cin will return I'll just deal with it there & then :) I'm mentally prepared even for a hysterectomy! If it won't return I'll be over the moon :grin:

I'm so happy to hear that. Hot yoga here you come! X