Oh wow 6 weeks, so long! I was told 2 but still nothing! I'm thinking of calling the colposcopy department next Monday if still no results by then. Just scared the receptionist will tell me to wait for a docs call which will make me faint at this point ;( I was already looking at the valerian root and cbd, almost bought it but giving it a few more days as I'm also very much against any medication even if natural :( hopefully will hear something soon x how was your latest smear test after the lletz? Are you in the clear now? Xx

Ah I see! I wish I could think like you! I wish I was normal, always struggled with mental health but this brought up massive flare ups :( ahh... I'm glad you're feeling ok! I'm just so so worried because I felt something being off with my reproductive organs for over 2 years but was ignored by gps and a&e.. they kept doing sti tests, seeing it's clear and sending me home with no answers. Maybe I'll ring the hospital tomorrow I'm not sure, kinda think if the results were cancer they'd be calling sooner? Or perhaps it's the other way around, I'm overthinking everything. 
anyways thank you for replying, it's great seeing someone being in a complete opposite state of mind while going through a similar experience! I really need to work on my mind! Xx

Whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better make sure you do. Never wait to do it. Your mental health is paramount. Make sure you put that first above anything else starting now. I don't know what normal is by the way. I've seen loads of therapists, watch alot of youtube videos. You gotta do whatever helps. We're all just human, all just experiencing. It's a beautiful thing. 

Ah that's nice! I'm into hot yoga myself which had gotten rid of my panic attacks and anxiety by 80-99%, but now due to the loop procedure I can not practice that for at least 2-3 more weeks! It was definitely my escape, I used to go for 2h a day 5-6 days a week. Spinning out of control now due to not being able to do that which brought all my past mental health issues to the surface plus waiting on the biopsy results anxiety, what a mix... my mind is in a constant anxiety overdrive doing weird things now. I'm googling what you said you did, the somatic movement! Sounds interesting xx thank you for your kind and wise words x :love:

Very beautifully said, yes indeed! I'm usually well in control of my mind and very calm no matter what thankful for every second on this beautiful planet, but this experience has thrown me into a complete chaos like into a tornado storm of emotions, arghh feels like a dream honestly don't even remember yesterday or this morning, time is kinda standing still yet a day feels like multiple lifetimes and emotions! Hopefully all will be better soon and I will learn something from this

Ok, you already have an advantage. Absolutley get back onto yoga as soon as you can but in the mean time, you could look at things less physical to accompany yoga such as mindfullness, mediatation and breathing, Relaxation and sensory awareness...anything to keep you present, out of your head and into your body. Mediatation in nature. Being in nature is an amazing healer. There are so many things you can do just research like you are doing. You will do great. :happyX

Look up ways and techniques to ground yourself. Most techniques are not very physical. Even something as simple as eyes closed, getting on all fours, hands and knees and just pushing into the ground, feeling your connection to the ground and whilst paying attention to what arises in your body. Just noticing or witnessing but not judging. I could spend forever exploring the connection to my body and the ground. Lol. And why not take the opportunity to explore the sensations that arise in your body when you are in those emotional states. See what you notice. You can reflect on them also by writing or drawing etc. One small exercise can pass so much time and you can always learn something new.   You'll find something that works for you.  X

Those are great tips, thank you! :hugs: 

Hello Vindaly9,

How are you doing? Just wondering how you're getting on and if you have heard anything?

I recieved a text msg from the hospital today to confirm an appointment at the colposcopy clinic on the 4th July. I hadn't even recieved my results from my 6 month follow up smear test and called the doctors 3 times this week and each time they said they didn't have the results. So when i recieved this text I called them again and they refused to put me through to a doctor and asked me to book an appointment for next wednesday. I refused to get off the phone and wore the receptionist down until she put me on hold to get help in dealing with me. Funnily enough when she took me off hold they suddenly had my results. I was fumming. Long story short, my smear test came back as negative so no abnormalities but I still have HPV. Sooo, I guess I turn up to appointment and let them deal with it again.

I'd love to hear how you are doing. 

Kelly