Hi Beaumont44, 

I just wanted to say we are thinking of you during this stressful time. I guess the MDT meeting was today and I hope that you get an appointment soon to find out exactly what is going on. It's completely normal to be scared when dealing with all this uncertainty at the moment and after having been through all these tests. 

Let us know what you find out - you are not alone though and many members of our community have been through this before and will hopefully come and say hello soon and share their stories with you. While you are waiting, as there is nothing harder than waiting for a diagnosis, I thought I would share with you our helpful tips to help you cope while waiting for news. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thankyou for your response , nothing today but hoping a phonecall in the morning x

Did you have a good Christmas? My daughter had chemo today she is feeling pretty rough.  Had a bit of a melt down she was feeling very anxious xx

Hi it was a nice day yeah thankyou , had call from hospital today to go in on the 2nd for bloods and prep stuff before I go in on 7th , I had letters today too about the op , im back to square one I think with the anxiety I honestly feel so so scared for stoma bag and people are saying it will be fine ! I honestly don't feel that way at all , aww bless her hope she's feeling a bit better today , im scared now for surgery too ! Hope you're ok and had a good Christmas xx

Lovely Christmas.  I know my daughter is getting anxious about her surgery we just hope the tumour has shrunk enough x

When does she finish chemo ? Xx

Her last one is the 10 January she has scans booked for the 20th January.  Then I think maybe 2nd February appointments with her oncologist and surgeon xx

It's the not knowing again for me basically if the cancer is low down in rectum il have a permanent stoma ..if its higher they might be able to save my sphincter then I will have a temporary one but I won't know until I wake up! Xx

I am in a similar situation,I have a sigmoid tumour, found out at begining of December and have op for surgery booked on 8th Jan. I thought I was coping ok with it all till a few days ago when the enormity of it hit.  Not sure what I am scared the most about,the cancer or the thought of having a stoma for life. I will not know about the Stoma till I wake up from operation so feel out of control and not able to plan for after the op. Saw the stoma nurse yesterday so I could be armed with more information she was great and explained everything but still struggling to process the thought of having one. Am starting to get very nervous about the operation and feel like I am counting the days down to me never being the same person again as I am.now, does that sounds weird?!

I keep trying to remind myself at least I will be alive and hopefully cancer free afterwards.

Hope all goes well with everyones Chemo and operations.

Hi there , no does not sound weird at all I feel like in living my last days until life changes ! I also am scared as like you say you can't plan as no idea until I wake up ! I'm praying it's reversible all I can do at the minute I'm so scared , nurse was also lovely gave me a pack with stoma bag etc in to have a look at and get the feel for it..its still in the car ! I feel I've dealt with chemo and I will deal with surgery. But seems no end to it , obvs hoping to be cancer free , hope all goes well for you too....pls let me know and I will you xx

Hi there , no it doesn't sound weird at all ,I feel like I'm living my last few days which is a bit silly ! But it'd how I feel ! Iv coped with diagnosis and chemo but this could potentially be for life , I just don't know how I will cope , awful to think I won't know either until I wake up , have to try focus on being cancer free , pls let me know how your surgery goes and I will you ..lots of love xx

You have dealt with chemo, so shows you have the strength to get through tough times. Keep this in my mind and take each day as it comes. I will find out if chemo needed or not once the surgery has been done. I am sure we can get through this and having somewhere to talk and share our feelings with others that are going through it is great and a real help and different to talking to friends and family, who love and support us but can't understand how we are fully feeling. Stay strong and I will be thinking of you. 

You have dealt with chemo, so shows you have the strength to get through tough times. Keep this in my mind and take each day as it comes. I will find out if chemo needed or not once the surgery has been done. I am sure we can get through this and having somewhere to talk and share our feelings with others that are going through it is great and a real help and different to talking to friends and family, who love and support us but can't understand how we are fully feeling. Stay strong and I will be thinking of you. 

Yeah maybe it's time to be positive again, I have been so far because I knew chemo would come to an end , but no end to the next bit , It is good to talk to people going through the same , family and friends are great but hearing that you're so strong and brave gets a little tiring , we have no choice at end of the day , I do think it's sane as in the beginning bk in August its the unknown again that is daunting , hopefully you won't need chemo after but if you do it will be OK..lets focus on getting rid ! Be thinking about you too xx

Just wanted to say I am thinking of you today and tomorrow, stay strong and I hope to hear from you once we have both left the hospital and on the road to recovery x

Hi I just wanted to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Stay strong and positive. Sending you hugs xx

Thankyou , I will let you know how it goes , hope you're ok , lots of love xx

I am ok thanks, I think the reducing of  the chemotherapy has helped a bit. I was out today but the weather was so cold and had some sore fingers and throat. It has settled now. Lots of love xxx

Oh the throat bit is awful isn't it ..well more weird than awful , I couldn't wait for a pint of coke inbetween cycles when it had calmed down , im glad its a bit better for you lots of love xx

Hi everyone, it’s been a while since I’ve posted and haven’t felt like talking about my experience.So this is an update of what’s happened to me. I was due to have my third round of chemotherapy on 16th January but when I had my oncology appointment my oncologist postponed for a week as I had been constipated for three days. She gave me laxatives to take and if I they did not work by next day I had to go to hospital. That night because of pain I was taken to hospital and spent the night in a+e then moved to a surgical ward. That afternoon I was taken to theatre to have my bowel tumour fitted with a stent because it was getting bigger. I was very scared as they were only giving me sedation which was the most painful procedure I have ever had done.                                             
Fast forward 3/4 hours i was screaming the ward down with excruciating pain and finding it hard to breathe. I then collapsed with what they called a peri-arrest the period before going into cardiac arrest. My husband and I were then told that the stent had caused the tumour to rupture inside my bowel and that my husband was to contact family to get to the hospital. I was told that I needed major surgery to save my life. Friday 17th January I woke after 7 hrs in surgery in intensive care with my husband at my side and then the surgeon came into the room to say that they removed everything and they had sent everything to pathology for testing which would take three weeks. I was also given the news that I had to have a stoma fitted and cannot be reversed. I was so upset and very emotional and honestly did not know what to do with this news but then remembered that it had saved my life.                                                                                                                                       
I stayed in hospital for 4 weeks and have been home for two weeks. I am still on strong pain relief and starting to get on my feet with going out for very short walks with my husband. I will need to have another operation when I have recovered from this as I have a tiny spot on my liver that will need to be removed at a different hospital in Scotland. 

Hi that is an awful lot to go through , so glad to hear you are on the other side now although you still have another op to go , hopefully see light at the end of the tunnel , must have been a very scary time for you and your family , sending lots of love and thinking about you..take care xxx