Well thats todays MRI done, just waiting on the CT scan now.

Im terrified its spread, I just cant get the fear of that out of my mind right now so Im having to just reaffirm what I know to myself. All I know so far is its a provisional Grade 2 IDC with a DICS in the mix, ER 8/8 and PR 8/8 waiting on HER status. Total tumor size is 6cm but thats the two combined, Axilla appeared normal on US. Urgh this is horrible. Im taking diazepam at the moment just to make that uneasy feeling in my stomach stop and to not feel like Im going to have a panic attack.

How are you lovely? 
How is everyone here today?
Hope your all keeping well. 

Sending big hugs to all xxx

Massive hugs hun, been thinking about you all morning. .I'm OK, back in work, for now...no support off boss woman whatsoever, girls in another office have been lovely and a couple of the guys. All I got off boss was 'alright', then straight into work talk...ffs!! When's your CT scan? Got everything crossed for you...did you get an information booklet from breast cancer nurses, that helped me, that's how I got on here. Try and find someone to talk to and do something you like doing. Xxx

Thank you! All good news. Only affected margin was the skin (but we knew thatand hence the partial reconstruction). No lymph nodes affected. So no more surgery. They anticipate oncotyping dx result this week to determine whether chemo & radiotherapy or radiotherapy only. X

Aww glad it's good news for you, hopefully no chemo xx

Im so happy for you that you had good news!! Yes hopefully you wont need chemo and will be on the road to recovery even faster! Xx

Your so good being back at work!! Im not even considering it yet to be honest. Such a shame your boss isnt being supportive as it makes such a difference! Mine is in his own weird way. No idea but asked in the MRI department about it today in my local hospital and they are giving it a push for me.

Has anyone else on here had a CT scan as part of their diagnosis? Im absolutely terrified it means its spread. 

Hope everyone is keeping well xxx

Regarding boss, I don't want sympathy off her, just sone support and understanding but oh no, straight back into pressure...was yawning my head off by 3pn!!! 5pm and I was off like a rocket haha.   Suppose really it's took my mind off it for a few hours...if you're not in work at the moment just try and fill your day...I had a book to finish, confessions of a 40 something f##k up, it's brilliant and makes you giggle. I bought the sequel yesterday, it's well worth a read....I bought it last year at the airport and hardly bothered with it, I finished it last week, got me through when I was getting irritated and upset at times....hope that scan appointment comes through soon for you....have a nice evening xxx

Thats a lot of it, you don't need sympathy just understanding that right now you don't want to be launched back into work at full speed just yet. Definitely will check that book out, Ive been watching a lot more movies than usual lately just as a distraction but its been lovely to be cuddled up with my son and hubby. 
I was given diazepam to help with the anxiety but scared of how effective and addictive they are so trying my best to only use them when its too intense. I have my CT scan tomorrow so just feeling a bit scared today. 

hope your all keeping well xxxx

Morning lovely, just got to work. Aww good luck with the scan tomorrow. I'm feeling a bit low at the moment just want it all over with if you know what I mean....being in work is helping I suppose but feel I can't be bothered....it's hard, the waiting and everyone around getting on with their own stuff like nothings wrong...frustrating and deep down I'm still absolutely petrified...