Hello Bubbles,

I can completely relate. I have crippling health anxiety. Currently writing this from my bed as I've tried getting up this afternoon and felt so ill from.the anxiety that i decided my bed is my safe place! Ive recently been given an urgent 2 week referral too. I found a lump in one breast which is very painful but wasnt too worried..at the time! As soon as my doctor felt my other breast and found another lump I didn't know i had, I immediately went into shut down mode! Barely eaten in the three days since. Not even thirsty. I feel frozen with fear and imagining all sorts (hair loss, death etc!). Im already scared if death and now i just feel debilitated and desperate. Ive tried borrowing some money to book privately but ironically, they're all closed at the weekend, which has made me feel worse. My mum died of ovarian cancer but no ine else in my family has Cancer history so im trying to calm down but instead my brain is on overdrive.

Feel so scared and alone. 

Im thinking of you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. Hugs x

Hi Danni your not alone lovely. I’ve been the same in bed unable to get up. Literally crippled with fear. It’s debilitating isn’t it  I would call them Monday to be asked to go on the cancellation list. I’m going to call back too. Let’s try and help each other get through the wait. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, the trauma of that won’t help your anxiety either. Sending you so much love xxx

Thank you, and the same goes to you too. Its reassuring to hear all this but at the same time, i wouldn't wish anyone to go through this process or any of it... I know anxiety can cause us to experience psychosomatic symptoms but i think in these cases I find myself preparing for the worst. I just looked on my NHS app to see what the doctor had uploaded and when I saw 'Urgent referral for suspected breast cancer' it made it more real. 

I know they have to say these things to get us seen to quickly to investigate but still anxiety inducing.

I hope you manage some sleep tonight. I use the Balance App, which I find good for some meditation/guided meditation/ breath work for anxiety, if you ever are looking for one. Night night and remember we are all here for you, should you need us xx

That was the same for me Dannii as soon as I saw that on my doctors app I went into complete meltdown, it’s awful. When I joined this app I had to sign to say I accepted that it could cause distress if test results were uploaded before my doctors appointment. Like you I feel I have to prepare myself but I don’t think it’s helpful. Life was a lot simpler without Google! Really sorry to hear about your mum, completely understandable that anything like this triggers you. Xx

Hi Nhj91 I hope you are doing ok. Good idea to join the cancellation list, I’ve joined a private one but also on the NHS list and will take whichever comes up first as this is torture. Hope you are ok x

So sorry to hear you are in this limbo land as well. I’ve been riding that train since last Monday and now every pain, ache or lump is clearly linked to the lump in my breast which means I have firmly given myself the worst diagnosis possible. 
I think modern technology is both a blessing and a curse as I checked my nhs app too and my referral form to the hospital the doctor has ticked the box that says she thinks I likely have cancer and she told me what she felt didn’t feel normal. Well that took my already anxious mind and blew it up completely. I have spent a week googling and poking and prodding my breasts to the point they are so painful, but in my eyes that means bad news. 
logical me takes over for a while and I can just sit back and go it is what it is, there is nothing I can do until I have the tests. This lasts a few hours and then the pit of fear takes over again. 
I have dug into my savings and booked an appt with a private doctor for tomorrow 26th feb as heard nothing yet from the hospital. So this morning all I can think about is tomorrow will dictate my future and I feel sick. 
if I were you I would be contacting the hospital and asking to be put on the cancellation list. Try to relax and breathe. Google is designed to scare us and it works but what we don’t often see are the good news stories. Google BC and every website will give you different stats which doesn’t help so I think we should all step away from the keyboards and breadth! Easier said than done I know but I have my fingers and toes crossed for everyone on this rollercoaster. Xxxx

You are so right Vickie. I really hope you get good news tomorrow, please let us know how you get on. I am on the list for both NHS & private so hopefully one will get a cancellation but I suspect not many people cancel as we are all in limbo waiting. Please let us know how you get on tomorrow, will be thinking of you x

Thank you so much.. apologies.. im getting a little mixed up with this thread! It's hard not to obess with the NHS app and your doctor's account, online! All i can think about is that 9am time tomorrow when I can call the private hospitals to beg for some kind of scan before my thoughts get worse! I tried one online appointment system but the consultant wasnt available until the end of March. 

Thinking of you and hoping your day can be calm xx

Hello Vicki,

Oh goodness...i can totally relate to the obsessive prodding and poking and then the pain and discomfort that follows whilst you make your own mind up as to what is happening! I can find it physically impossible to escape my thoughts.. even to the point where ive googled why my eye is constantly twitching, thinking now it's neurological and everything is being kinked to lumps! 

The sooner we all get some definitive answers, the better! Thinking of you all and please remember to reach out anytime!

Dannii X 

Ps..please let us know how you get on tomorrow!! Thoughts and positivity will be winging their way to you and praying you get some positive news!! Hugs x

Sorry to butt I’m on this one but I found calling the private clinics yielded better appt times with less waiting as you can never be sure how up to date it is online. 
the lady I spoke to was so helpful and kind and advised that I would see whichever consultant I chose for a 20 min appt and they would decide what further tests were needed and the additional costs at each stage. It’s not cheap and bang goes my rainy day fund but to me this is my rainy day. 
I was surprised to find even private clinics are experiencing some delays for appts but I guess with the wait time on the nhs some people are choosing private to get the ball rolling towards whatever the diagnosis is. 
xx

Thank you and fingers crossed on you finding an appt quickly. 
I will update asap whatever the news xx

Thank you and fingers crossed on you finding an appt quickly. 
I will update asap whatever the news xx