I can totally relate dr Google has told me I have all sorts   Ouch are your nails sore? I’m going to put some telly on to take my mind of things. I’m going to keep calling everyday to ask if any cancellations next week. You could ask to be put on the cancellation list just call the secretary next week. I Don’t know how much more waiting I can take X

Hello Bubbles,

I can completely relate. I have crippling health anxiety. Currently writing this from my bed as I've tried getting up this afternoon and felt so ill from.the anxiety that i decided my bed is my safe place! Ive recently been given an urgent 2 week referral too. I found a lump in one breast which is very painful but wasnt too worried..at the time! As soon as my doctor felt my other breast and found another lump I didn't know i had, I immediately went into shut down mode! Barely eaten in the three days since. Not even thirsty. I feel frozen with fear and imagining all sorts (hair loss, death etc!). Im already scared if death and now i just feel debilitated and desperate. Ive tried borrowing some money to book privately but ironically, they're all closed at the weekend, which has made me feel worse. My mum died of ovarian cancer but no ine else in my family has Cancer history so im trying to calm down but instead my brain is on overdrive.

Feel so scared and alone. 

Im thinking of you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. Hugs x

Hi Danni your not alone lovely. I’ve been the same in bed unable to get up. Literally crippled with fear. It’s debilitating isn’t it  I would call them Monday to be asked to go on the cancellation list. I’m going to call back too. Let’s try and help each other get through the wait. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, the trauma of that won’t help your anxiety either. Sending you so much love xxx

Thank you so much for replying! I wasnt sure if anyone would even read my message, so thank you! It's easy to be crippled by the fear, isn't it? Its easy for people to suggest taking a walk, eat well erc (although I fully understand they are being very supportive and not really knowing what to suggest). It's easy to lie in bed and feel alone , forgetting how many 1000s of people will be doing the same. Im now overthinking all my anxiety symptoms (heart palpitations, feeling fluey and achey, loss of appetite) and it's like my brain has decided that they're all symptoms of breast cancer and the reason why the doctors can't phathom why ive felt so ill for so long. Worried this will eat away at me. 

I really, really hope you have someone with you who is supportive and loving and can help you in some way to get through this incredibly difficult time, lovely. 

Remember you're not alone either and i feel this is a good place to let it all out and lean on other people that understand.

Im always here whenever you need to offload! Keeping everything crossed for us and the others xxx

Thank you danni you too! Everything your saying feels like me! Flu like, no appetite and tired but I truly think that’s are mental health and not because we have something sinister. Anxiety can make you feel so ill. Please reach out anytime.x

Thank you, and the same goes to you too. Its reassuring to hear all this but at the same time, i wouldn't wish anyone to go through this process or any of it... I know anxiety can cause us to experience psychosomatic symptoms but i think in these cases I find myself preparing for the worst. I just looked on my NHS app to see what the doctor had uploaded and when I saw 'Urgent referral for suspected breast cancer' it made it more real. 

I know they have to say these things to get us seen to quickly to investigate but still anxiety inducing.

I hope you manage some sleep tonight. I use the Balance App, which I find good for some meditation/guided meditation/ breath work for anxiety, if you ever are looking for one. Night night and remember we are all here for you, should you need us xx

Hi Danni so sorry to hear you are going through this too. I completely understand how you feel; I have terrible health anxiety too. I’m quite lucky in the fact I work every day (self employed) and I have two kids with complex needs to keep me distracted however it is still in the pit of my stomach all day. I love my bed too but I know if I stay in here I will spend all day googling. Try to eat and drink as the low sugar levels make the panic worse. I really hope all ends up ok for you. It’s all so stressful. I see a therapist for health anxiety and she keeps telling me not to look ahead, one day at a time and keep busy. I’ve tried to do meditation at  night as I can’t sleep but that seems to aggravate me more so I just watch very boring things on my phone in the hope the boredom will send me off to sleep. Stay in touch , I hope you find ways to have moments of calm x

That was the same for me Dannii as soon as I saw that on my doctors app I went into complete meltdown, it’s awful. When I joined this app I had to sign to say I accepted that it could cause distress if test results were uploaded before my doctors appointment. Like you I feel I have to prepare myself but I don’t think it’s helpful. Life was a lot simpler without Google! Really sorry to hear about your mum, completely understandable that anything like this triggers you. Xx

Hi Nhj91 I hope you are doing ok. Good idea to join the cancellation list, I’ve joined a private one but also on the NHS list and will take whichever comes up first as this is torture. Hope you are ok x