Hi Girls,

Lovely to hear from both of you. Sam, I love that you are enjoying your retirement.  It took me a while to get used to being free to do what I wanted, I used to feel guilty if I wasn't doing something meaningful.  My daughter, on the other hand is like you, loving it. Because of her illness she isn't able to take advantage of her freedom by getting out and enjoying herself, but is learning that there are lots of things she wasn't able to do when she was working.  She is planning to binge watch all the Handmaid's Tale episodes from Series One to the present " because I can" . That's her mantra these days. Unfortunately, the higher amount of pension, including the huge lump sum were paid in error. She got a phone call at 4pm on a Friday afternoon a couple of weeks ago from a very worried sounding man from the Pension Service, telling her that her employers had, in error, sent the paperwork relevant to someone who has been made redundant, therefore the DWP paid out the higher amount.  The employers only found out their error when the DWP sent them the bill.  She always had a feeling it was a mistake and had made her plans accordingly.  She did tease him, though, by saying in a shocked voice, "But I've paid off my mortgage!" which is true, but it hadn't taken anywhere near the amount she had been paid.  He left her with " We will have to put your pension on hold until we get it sorted out, and I'll send you the paperwork". She immediately tried to complete it on line,  only to receive a message that the site had closed on the 14th until the 28th for updating. She then sent it by email, as she's keen to get it all sorted so she knows exactly what she will get, and got a reply,  'Thank you for all that but we can't do anything until the 28th as we are having a new system installed.' As she is the one sitting on the money she knows it will be dealt with asap.

I did actually get a face to face meeting with the manager of the breast clinic.  I opened the conversation by asking why I was there, as I had never had an appointment in the three years since my surgery and I hadn't had my annual mammogram yet.  She was very nice, very apologetic, and said she would be examining me, and she would arrange for me to have my mammogram afterwards, if that was ok.  I got my copy of the doctor's letter yesterday, and she says she will personally see me in six months time!   All was fine from the examination and I expect the same from the mammogram or I would have heard by now.

Caroline, your cruise sounds amazing,  Just what the doctor ordered!  Coming back to work after that must have been a shock to your system!  Kids!  Can we ever stop worrying about them? That kind of news from thousands of miles away doesn't help.  My great-niece is over here at Uni, from California, I text her every now and then to let her know she can contact me, (and the dozen other relations in this country) if she needs anything. She is very sweet and apparently all is wonderful. Her dad is coming over soon, with her brother, so we will probably see them all soon.

Caroline, I hope you can stop thinking about cancer. I curse it when I have had to wear a bra and prosthesis for a day and get pains all round the mastectomy site, other than that I don't think about it.  I presume that that's what will get me in the end, but until it rears it's ugly head, I'm giving it no space in my brain.  My daughter's  next door neighbour, who was like my prophet of doom, because she had the same cancer as me, went through almost exactly the same procedures and had exactly the same things happen to her twenty years ago, then five years ago got a recurrence and metastases in her lung and brain. She has just passed away.  She refused to have more chemo after a bad reaction, or she may well be still with us.  If I get twenty years, then another five of treatment, I'll be a hundred years old, so I feel that worrying about something that could/will happen in the future is a waste of time.  Of course being ancient already gives me a different outlook, from someone who still has a family at home and people who need them.  My parents had both gone by the time I was my childrens' age so they will be sad but won't suffer in any other way when I'm gone. 

My son is still recovering from his accident. He used his private medical insurance after he couldn't get an NHS orthopaedic appointment to set his broken arm.  He then had diagnostic imaging on every limb and it turned out that he had the six broken ribs, broken nose, arm and split chin that he already knew about, but also two broken feet another broken arm and the originally diagnosed broken arm turned out to be a shattered wrist that required 27 metal pins and clips etc to hold it together. He is now receiving physio and can move his fingers but the whole arm is still terribly swollen.  They are still uncertain whether or not he will need surgery on one of his feet.  He is coping quite well with it, mentally, considering. They completed on their new house last week, and he FaceTimed me from his deck overlooking the river in beautiful sunshine, with his faithful dog at his feet.  His partner was off paddle boarding, which he can't do yet. She sends me Live Photos of her journeys down the river and it looks idyllic.  The aren't moving in until they have done the necessary work to make it their dream home and he's annoyed that he hasn't been able to do anything yet, because of his injuries, but he's hoping to be in by next Spring. He was hoping to be in by New Year, but it's out of the question now. Guess where I will be going for my holidays in future!

I have just had to renew my driving license, and because I have let my passport lapse, I couldn't  do it online, and had to post the application form and send a passport photograph.  If ever there was a crime of cruelty to the elderly that is it!   Making an ancient old crone take a straight-faced photograph should be banned.  I don't feel like an ancient old crone, but that is definitely what the photo shows! Grrr!

On that cheerful note I will say goodbye.

Take care

Christine xxx

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Hello - I am newly diagnosed and would like to join the Family please. I am 45 years old with a three and a twelve year old. I went from anticipating a treatment plan and op date yesterday morning to the discovery of two further, potentially malignant tumours, all thanfully on the same breast as the original "mother" tumour. It is what it is, but I cant help being more than a little emotional at the moment so taking diazepam since yesterday to take the edge off the present tense. Am very lucky to have a Spaniel, a Husband, a Mum and a Sister who are all rallying around me. Reading your posts here is also very encouraging - I just want the operation behind me. I want a complete mascetomay and want the tumour(s) and surrounding tissue gone and reconstruction all in one. HER2 also positive so will need chemo but to focused on getting the op behind me to think about that at the moment.  

Hi Jennifer,

You are very welcome in our little family, despite it a sad reason you have found us.  You are at the worst stage of your cancer journey just now.It's all in front of you and it's scary, but you have seen from our experiences that it's not the end of the world.  There are other people on this forum who have gone through the journey more than once and they are still going strong and can offer excellent advice to newly diagnosed women. 
I was just so lucky to find Sam and Caroline who were diagnosed around the same time as me and if you read all our conversations, ( I can't imagine you have read them all) you will see the journey from a quite stoic but very humorous perspective.  I have got off extremely lightly, just surgery and hormone tablets. Although you can see I behaved like a stroppy toddler in the early days, not wanting to take the meds and falling out with the oncologist. I wish everyone diagnosed had it as easy as me.  Caroline had rather more in the way of treatment than I, and poor old Sam has gone through everything that could be thrown at her, but you can see from her writings that there is no way it was going to beat her.  It is good that if you have to have extra tumours, they are in the same breast.  I have been the unlucky host to investigations in the other breast.  The first things shown on the ultrasound scan in my spare boob turned out to be DEAD FAT!!!! How's that for a confidence booster?  The next things showed up on my first post surgery mammogram and were calcifications. Apparently some of these can turn cancerous so I had to have a biopsy under mammogram conditions because they don't show up on a scan.  You will read all about that delight if you keep on reading the conversations. Alas, they were so tiny that they escaped from the tweezers or whatever it was the doctor was using to catch them, and after going through the experience twice, I received a letter confirming that the biopsies showed only healthy breast tissue. Yippee!

I wish you the very best for your immediate treatment and your future recovery and will be delighted to hear from you as you go through your treatments, in fact, it's mandatory now you have joined the family, and it'll be nice to know how your lovely supportive family get on, too.

love

Christine xx

PS What's your Spaniel's name?

Hi Jennifer

Christine is, and will always be, much more empathetic and articulate than I could ever hope to be and gave some sound advice (I'd expect nothing less!).

Just to assure you this whole cancer nonsense is very manageable, yes it's **** at times too but those pass and quickly are resigned to memories.

So welcome and I do love that your spaniel is given top billing above family and friends. ..and quite right too!

Sam x

Yeah! Go Sam!!!

Happy thingy ladies!

Hope all is well with all, am blinkin’ marvellous myself, still loving not working and just wished I could have done it sooner (I couldn’t!).

I still am sort of considering doing something next tax year (ever the accountant!) but think with my exacting needs now (exercise in the morning, lovely cooked lunch at home c/o me, seeing to the poor little kittens every need (!!), etc)I just don’t think I’ll find anything that suits….maybe just do some volunteering some afternoons a week, think I should be able to manage that (!!).

Am all set for Christmas which means jot all really as everyone else does the hard work, I did manage to send the cards early doors (2nd class stamps given unemployment) and some of them have actually arrived which is nothing short of a festive miracle quite frankly. Off round to some pals of Adrians who will put on a blummin’ good feed, Adrian’s been bought some books that I want (ha!) and has bought me a new ordinance survey map (who says romance is dead mm?) that I asked for to plan more bike rides..yay!  Love a map, so old school.

For my (very delayed) birthday I got some new decking the other week (that Adrian knows how to treat a lass!) so it is very enjoyable not slipping on my bum and not having my feet go through the rotten wood, quite a novelty in fact….

I’ve started doing some things on my very extensive London bucket list (stuff I want to do before moving back oop north whilst am close), went to some fab churches/graveyards and loved Leighton House (one for the artist Christine!).  In Jan am booked to go & see opera at the Royal Opera House and also some Shakespeare at the Globe(never been before), makes me sound cultured, as you know that is definitely not the case….think I’ll be more interested in the building than Titus Andronicus.  On my recent London visit found a new fave street that I hadn’t walked before (hate the tubes now so try and walk everywhere)…Fleet Street, such lovely old buildings and the Old Bailey at the end…marvellous!  I do want to go to a trial at the Old Bailey, only problem is you can’t take in drinks and I’m surgically attached to my water bottle…

So many adventures are being had - in between train strikes. Was in last weekend and it was far too close to Christmas and therefore far too busy, thankfully had another Covid shot and flu not too long ago.  Saw the Mousetrap, very good, love a bit of Agatha…70 years run not bad eh?

Anyhoo hope you both are having nearly as much fun as this idiot is and hope your families are looking forward to spending some quality time (eating, fighting…says a lot about my family) with your lovely selves. Enjoy!

Sam X

Hey Sam, 

I was just thinking, this afternoon, that I must check in with you and Caroline for Christmas.  I have been keeping up a rather nice correspondence with two or three other people on here, so I know how they are but I was wondering about you. Obviously you are doing great! I'm so pleased!  I am envious of your culture fest. I'm not particularly cultured but I LOVE opera and ballet.

My daughter (also an accountant) also retired this year, paid off her mortgage and now dreams of a cottage in the sun, preferably in Greece, so she is desperate to get hold of all the documents I acquired for my son's birthday, three years ago, which enabled him very recently to become an Irish citizen, ergo an EU citizen. He has got his citizenship but needs the documents until his passport comes through.  I don't know if her plans are aimed at pre or post my demise. Possibly things should move faster for her, as my son's application was in among thousands of others, all wanting to be free to travel to European countries without restrictions.

You sound to be in great form, Sam. I'm really glad to hear it.  I'm doing great, too.  Been doing a lot of paintings, paid commissions, no less.  I just wish I had the courage to ask for a bit more than it cost me in materials. I've done some unpaid ones, too. My daughter wanted a painting of the late lamented darling Smudge. She also wanted one for her friend, of the friend's late lamented Westie. Then, just as I started working on something I wanted to do, she informs me 'we have t got any paintings of Meg.'  Meg was a Sheltie crossed with a Border Collie who died years before I even thought of taking up painting! So Mummy duly obliged and unknown to my darling daughter, there is a big painting, hidden in my "studio" of Meg, with her toys in her favourite place, my bed. I haven't decided yet, whether I should surprise her with Meg for Christmas or give her Smudge for Christmas and Meg for her birthday two weeks later.  I quite like the idea of giving her Meg first.

I haven't been out in the car since last Friday, the first day of the freeze.  Walking has been bad enough, even with spikes on my shoes. Even Archie has not wanted to walk far.  He doesn't feel cold, obviously with that double coat but I think his little feet must hurt on the ice and snow. It has been so dangerous on our cul de sac I'm not taking any chances, although it's only 150m to the main road where everything has been merrily passing to and fro without a problem. I am still well stocked up with food from my last shop about two weeks ago.  Like you, I am going to be well fed and watered by friends on the big feast day, so I don't have any special goodies still to buy. My son and his lovely partner are getting a food hamper again.  I asked for gift suggestions weeks ago and answer came there none, so a hamper it is.  They won't be here until between Christmas and New Year, so I have got stacks of goodies to call on if I am suddenly attacked (I mean surprised, of course) by unexpected visitors.  A quick dip in the hamper and pop the goodies in a gift bag and voila!

My son has actually excelled himself this year, apart from buying their mansion on the river, a new boat and a new Range Rover, boat and car possibly preloved, he FaceTimed me last week.  I had just received my Christmas present from them, a fabulous selection of artist materials, when he said he had put some money in my account for a birthday present. "To go out and buy myself something nice". I told you before about his (over) protectiveness towards me.  He had been quizzing me, earlier in the week, on why I was wearing warm clothes if I wasn't skimping on my heating, etc.  He had just happened to send me the exact amount that has been quoted for the cost of fuel bills this year!!!.  If truth were told, I was skimping, slightly, following all the suggestions for keeping usage as low as possible without actually suffering because of it. I certainly wasn't cold, with my four layers of warm clothing on, but I feel very self indulgent now, with the central heating on and the fire!

Caroline,  I'm sure we will hear from you soon.  How are the family? How are you? I hope you find yourself in rude health and looking forward to a lovely Christmas.

Well, my lovelies, isn't it great that we are down to catching up occasionally after our adventures of the last three years.  I wish you both everything you could wish for yourselves and your loved ones. Have a wonderful Christmas and another Happy New Year!

Lots of love

Christine and Archie xxx

Hi ladies, 

so lovely to hear from you both and hear how well life is going. I am currently sat on a hotel balcony over looking Honolulu. It's 9pm and still lovely and warm. We are here for my husband's 50th birthday - his choice/he paid. We had a nightmare journey getting here - lost luggage, missed connecting flights, arriving a day later than planned. It is a beautiful place but have to say my mental health hasn't been coping too well with it. My stress and anxiety levels seem pretty high at the mo and for many reasons I didn't want to come this far away from home, so close to Christmas. Had a bit of a breakdown yesterday and ended up in bed at 7pm and slept on and off for 11 hours, in between crying. Not really sure what is going on but I'm on countdown to get home. There have been so many issues since being here with kids/dogs/Christmas/work, it's just completely stressed me out. 
But I know I'm sounding very ungrateful. On a positive side, my niece is out here too at the moment as her boyfriends family all live here. Her mum - my sister in law is also here with us. My niece lives out in the US so we don't get to see her very often and today her boyfriend proposed so that is lovely that we can celebrate with them, in person.

Well, again ladies, so lovely to hear from you both. 3 years survivors! And here's to many more!! I do have to say, in a way it feels like a distant memory these days. I'm better at keeping my worries in check. Life has returned to normal business so i don't really have time to worry! 
So it just leaves me to say - have an amazing Christmas- stay safe and warm. Enjoy the festivities! It will soon be over :wink:

Caroline x

Hi Caroline,

Well, didn't Sam pick exactly the right time to reach out to us? I think your sentence "I'm currently sat on a hotel balcony overlooking Honolulu" wins the prize for generating envy in all who read it in the cold, windy North West of England. I.e. ME!!!  Hawaii is one place I have not been but would love to.  The envy did go down a tad at the nightmare journey you had getting there. Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit fragile, it's a pity that life and its problems doesn't stay on hold so you can enjoy your holiday in one of Earth's nearest places to paradise.  Hopefully the memories you have in the future will just contain the good aspects of your trip, like seeing your niece and being able to celebrate her engagement, not to mention the island's beauty.

Yes, three years down the line.  It does seem like a long time ago, such a lot has happened outside our little cancer driven universe., Three Prime Ministers for one, Covid and all its horrors for another and now the war in Ukraine and possible power cuts to add to our worries. In twenty or so years you will be saying, "OMG those 2020's were a nightmare!  But we did go to Hawaii!" :silly: For:me, the bright side today is the snow seems to be melting!  Yay!!! I am adding to my shopping list on  an hourly basis, because, on Tuesday, I plan to take the covers off the car, hope it will start, and venture out to do some shopping. I am instructed by my daughter to make sure I go out before Wednesday, when the ambulance people are going on strike. Her premise being that we have never had to call an ambulance in our lives, and it would be Sod's law that we would need one on the day there aren't any!  Such a pessimist!

So, despite repeating myself, I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a worry free, Happy New Year!

Now, it's your turn again, Sam, our lovely Caroline sounds like she needs some of your cheerful words now, unless you are as jealous as I am at her being in Honolulu, in which case forget it! :sad:

Lots of love

Christine and Archie xx