Hi,

I am new to the group and BC. I was diagnosed in July. I had  a partial mastectomy with reconstruction 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I went back for the results only to be told that my margins weren’t all clear and I have to go back in on Friday for another op to remove more tissue. I’m also waiting for results of Oncotype test so decide what my treatment plan is. I haven’t been frightened or fazed by anything so far but yesterday I came away really *** off! My wound has just healed and now they are going to re open it. But hey ho. I’m 48 and like you have always been healthy and am crap at being ill. I do hope you don’t become down beat x

Hi Cazrosie - I am currently being offered a lumpectomy (assume same as partial mastectomy) or a mastectomy + reconstruction for a 3.5cm globular tumour. With the lumpectomy they indicated I would go from a B to an A cupsize so offered me a breast reduction on the good side. Size is important to me so I would rather go for a reconstruction to get symetry and also avoid touching the good breast? Are you happy to tell me about your situation? Did you have the same type of cancer? How much of the breast did they have to take? What type of reconstruction did you have (via liposuction or LIDAP)? Di they do the reconstruction at the same time or later after radiotherapy? I am sorry your margins were not clear - did you go for a further lumpectomy? - they suggested that this may well be the case with me due to the globular cancer type that I have. Were you - are you happy with your results? I do hope all went well with you after this post - best wishes Karen

Oh dear and welcome to the club! Don't want you being in a special club full of the few that haven't had it...

Those social occassions are lovely but lethal...I hope you had fun at the get together....and it was worth it. I got mine en route back from the Edinburgh fringe last year - well worth it.

Glad to say I've recently had my over 75s booster as 'they' still think I'm extremely vulnerable (!!) and am not one to look a covid gift horse in the chops

Hope you're better soon...I think you love the extra attention from those ultra concerned children of yours really...ha!!

Xx

Hi girls,

I am happy to say I'm back in the land of the living! So much for five days! I was still testing positive two weeks later and then it took me another week to start feeling vaguely human again. Three weeks of enforced idleness is no fun when you have to catch up with all the jobs you should have done in that three weeks, but I am getting there, slowly but surely. The only outstanding task yet to be completed is to groom Archie.  I got as far as trimming the hair under his feet and cutting his toenails but he keeps avoiding me if I even look at his box of brushes, combs and sprays. A Sheltie takes a lot of brushing!

During my enforced idleness I reread all our conversations on here and was amazed at how much I had forgotten about my cancer stuff already. I was surprised to see how many people other than we three had popped in for a visit. If any of those people are reading this, please say hi and let us know how you are doing.

As I was reading our messages to each other, a little voice in my head kept wondering who holds the copyright to our ramblings because it felt for all the world as though I was reading an interesting and amusing book, and such a book would be really useful for newly diagnosed breast cancer patients to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  My brother sent me a book written by two doctors who had both had breast cancer who were able to write about the condition from both sides. That probably helped to make me as accepting as I was about the whole palaver!

I have done quite a lot of work today, so I am resting with my feet up reading news on the iPad. I feel for the mother of the little boy whose life support was turned off today, but totally get why it had to be and thank heavens I have been fortunate enough to never face anything like that in my life.

On that note I shall close, wishing you a fine and happy weekend, lots of love,

Christine xxx

Oh Christine, your message did make me smile. You fancy writing the book? :wink: 

Sounds like Covid gave you a tough time. But glad to hear you are now picking up, although I bet Archie is keeping a wide berth! Wow - to read through all those message must have taken a while! I am now tempted to go back to the beginning to read through too. 3 years does seem like a lifetime away and I have to say while my normal is kind of different nowadays (more appreciative of life but different worries too) I do think the cancer journey we went on seems so far away. 
Im currently waiting for a date for an MRI and my annual mammogram. Not overly worried about either to be fair - although I do seem to be checking my boobs quite a lot at the moment! 
Life is its usual busy. My eldest son is off back to the US on Wednesday to start his second year at college. Not home again until Dec. Got a few weekends away planned for this month and did have 5 days in Weymouth at the end of July. It was my 25th wedding anniversary last week and we are off on a cruise in October. My plan is now to shift some tummy stodge. I've bought myself a new trend hula hoop and am aiming to do it everyday (let's see how long I manage :laugh:

Sam - have you stopped working now? If so, how is life going? 
Right off to bed. Take care ladies xx 

Hi Caroline, 

I apologise for not having replied sooner, but life just goes on and things crop up and it's nearly a month since I even came on here.

Quick zip through the past month.  I still felt a bit groggy from the Covid for another week or so, but was  able to enjoy my daughter's early retirement with nice walks in the cool of the woods during the hot weather.  It's coming up to the time when my girlfriends have their birthdays. The first one, a 70th was celebrated by taking her out for the day, having a lovely meal then going to see a show. Very nice! Then on the Friday she held a party at her home for all her other friends and family and neighbours.  It was spoilt for my daughter and I, because we were getting updates from my son's partner on how he was after being knocked off his motorbike on a roundabout, that afternoon.  He was very lucky, really, he got away with a broken noses split chin requiring the plastics team, an arm broken in two places and six broken ribs. All very painful but recoverable. It was a good job it didn't happen a day earlier because she only arrived back from Australia the day before.  
I've been landscaping the front garden. That's not as exacting as it sounds as it is very small and I have just trimmed the hedges and created a gravel path where there used to be a big tree.  And - wait for it......I have finally captured the face of the baby I am painting.  I only have the rest of the painting to do now, but she is there, with her twinkly eyes and cute little smile.  On that note I shall take a bow and say goodnight.

Congratulations on your wedding anniversary, and good luck with the hoopla hoop, never could master that.

Sam, if you are reading this, hope all's well with you.

Love,

Christine xxx

Hi ladies

I am here and reading! Sorry it has been a delayed response – am just being cr4p.

And what a day, poor Liz eh, I mean she had a jolly good innings and all that but still sad, I do like looking at the vox-pops of funny stories/Paddington/James Bond etc., makes me shed a little tear.

Glad you are back Christine – though two weeks of idleness I could do with right now (not the cause though!).  Good to know you passed the time reading about us…am sure that helped the recovery go that little better.  My BCN suggested I write a book, not altogether sure why but it would fall into my CBA folder (can’t be ar5ed)

On a work countdown to finishing, thankfully, just really cannot be bothered anymore…luckily only 4 weeks left but motivation of any sort is significantly lacking and am having a really busy day (though not so busy I can’t finally reply – priorities and all!!). My leaving do is 6 October…am hoping my colleagues have taken on board that I don’t want any more clutter in my house and that John Lewis vouchers will be most welcome…we’ll see.  I think the boyfriend is worried that I’ll have nothing to do, I do keep reminding him that I have several long term projects that still require completion (like the cushions but worse) that are of a DIY nature and I find getting bored is just not in my nature.  Soon I too will have time to re-read our journey and will definitely be sorting an unruly garden out…

Caroline – bad news re son, be glad it wasn’t a car I guess but hope he’s doing well and recovering ok

Most excitement of late was my annual trip to the Edinburgh fringe; you will not be surprised to know it was not filled with highbrow events but with great (and dodgy) comedy and lots of food & drink.  We stayed in a lovely apartment on the Royal Mile, however now am semi-retired this will be the last of that sort of nonsense! Sensible hotels in future…

The excitement above was only marginally eclipsed by the completion of another long-term project, after a decade I finally defrosted my freezer (gosh, the fun in my life eh?). It had got to the point that I could not shut the door fully and then at all and what with all these ridiculous energy prices thought it probably was not a good thing so finally the day came.  I’m glad to say that the contents that I had been finely curated over a number of years survived and will now live to a ripe old age in a cold (but now snow and ice filled) home that I can now actually fit all the drawers back in.

Been suffering so much with all the hot weather of late, that combined with hot flushes ( think they’ve got worse since I stopped the zolodex which stops oestrogen production, goes to show its worked I guess?) have made me a very miserable lass….thankfully as I write it’s raining and a balmy 16 degrees…bliss!  I know the north still suffered from the heat this year but will be so glad to get back up there for the coolness (people and temperatures!!).

Recently had my annual mammo too and given I haven’t heard anything a  month later am thinking all is fine, I’ll chase at some point but not bothered tbh.

Caroline – hope your mammo & MRI went well and the hula-ing is going well, I have tried this and like tennis, dancing, aerobics there is just not enough co-ordination in my body to allow for such activities, some days ( well most days actually) it is a struggle not to fall over my own feet.

Keep well ladies X

Maybe I should change my photo to a freezer now??

Hi Sam,

Sorry, but I don't think defrosting (freezer) is on a par with making (cushions)  Nice to hear from you again, it feels a long time.  Roll on retirement eh?  My daughter has been officially retired for two weeks now.  She had her final salary payment with lump sum, but as yet she doesn't know how much pension she is going to get.  She had a letter from her pension department with higher figures than she was expecting, then a conversation with said department knocked her back down to her original estimated figure, then she got a letter from the Inland Revenue, acknowledging her new position of retiree with a warning that she will still need to pay tax on her pension, but, like you, she is an accountant and knows about these things, and she knows that she will only be required to pay tax on her pension, this year or in future, if she gets the higher figure she has been told she isn't getting. So she's none the wiser about her monthly pension.  The reason for the confusion is about how the pension is calculated. The pension amount is based on the highest three years of earnings in the last thirteen years, I think, but don't quote me.  Her problem is she had to reduce her hours, because of her health a few years ago, which sort of skews the calculations. She is sensible so is expecting no more than her original calculation, and if it's more, whoopee!  Her work colleagues gave her a good send off, with a night out and an envelope full of money, to buy her own present! Just casually mention that to yours and that might give them a hint!

It is my son who got knocked off his motorbike, not Caroline's. On the day of the accident he had to be lifted off the road and into the ambulance and spent hours in A&E, having  X-rays and scans done, ending up with them telling him he had a broken nose, split chin, six broken ribs and a broken arm in two places.  Great, could have come off much worse.  A few days later he had to go back to the hospital to have his chin sorted by the Plastics team, and he was supposed to be seen by Orthopaedics to set his arm properly BUT they couldn't get an appointment for that, so they got their doctor to refer him to go private.  His new set of tests, last week, showed he has two broken arms, a smashed wrist and two broken feet as well as the ribs and nose. He seems to be in fairly good spirits, despite everything. He suspected one of his feet was damaged in some way because it crunched (and hurt a bit) when he walked the dog! It doesn't bear thinking about if those breaks had not been discovered, he could end up crippled!

I was quite sad when the Queen died, it certainly feels like the end of an era.  From what I've seen, Charles will do a good job, he's had enough time to prepare for it. The wall to wall coverage has been a bit much, although I did watch the procession today.  My daughter, who is usually a tough old bird has been quite emotional about it all and I am the only person among those I have spoken to about it, who actually remembers the last Coronation.  I also remember falling in love with the Duke of Edinburgh thinking he was gorgeous. I was only six!  I have a distinct memory of walking in two's from our infant school to a canteen for school dinners, about half a mile away and the conversation was about Prince Philip now being called the Duke of Edinburgh.  Coronation day itself is clear in my memory, apparently  the pubs were selling a special Coronation Beer, that apparently was extra strong. We were the only family on our street to have a television, so the front room was full of my parents' friends and neighbours, and crates of beer.  The men were getting drunk and people who couldn't fit inside the room were outside  looking in the opened window!  According to my mother, there were more fights in the town that night than before or since. We lived on a main road, so my sister and I used to spend lots of time sitting in our bedroom window watching  the world go by. On Saturday nights, about 11.30, we used to wait for the last bus from the dance hall in the next town, bringing home all the teenagers. It always seemed so exciting, they were laughing and shouting and having so much fun, we were so envious.  Funnily enough, by the time we were old enough to join them times had changed and no one went there any more and they turned it into a bingo hall! 
I'm jealous about your Edinburgh trip. I used to go every year, to the fringe and to the Bank party at Hogmanay. Love Edinburgh but haven't been for a long time.

I'm a bit miffed that you've had your mammogram, I haven't heard from the BCN's since I had a phone call cancelling my July 1st checkup.  I used to get my appointment at that (telephone) checkup for my mammogram.  I called their office two weeks ago, to hear a promise to get back to me,"but it won't necessarily be today"  I called again, two days ago, still waiting for an answer to why I haven't  had either the checkup or the appointment date. It's a good job I don't think there's anything wrong. 
It is beginning to feel a bit cooler, in the mornings now, so no more heat wave. Actually, we might be glad of hot flushes this winter if we can't afford to put the heating on! 

Take care, 

Christine xx

PS Quick update, today, Friday, I have received a letter via the NHS Portal inviting me to an appointment with the Breast Specialist  Nurses on Oct 14th at 11.20am.  It will be interesting to see if I actually get there, or if it will be cancelled by telephone two days before, and I wonder if it was coming anyway or if it is a result of my reminder telephone calls.

Ciao xx

End of week 2 of not working and LOVING IT!  How I ever had time to do any work is quite frankly beyond me, most days I am really full on trying to get stuff done - luckily none of it that important.  Last week’s achievement was a jigsaw, the only problem is that I find such things very addictive and therefore will do them non-stop, hence I managed quite a challenging 1,000 piece in 2 days.  Love a jigsaw….

Do I miss work at all?  Not one bit!  Gave my leaving card/flowers and helium balloon a week before they were all recycled/chucked.  And even before your suggestion Christine I had already made it clear that I wanted ££ for my leaving gift not more clutter for my house! Am actually seeing probably the only ex-colleague I can be bothered to keep in touch with next week, a nice foursome with our husbands/partners….made even better by no work the following day.

Christine I hope your daughter is as over-joyed with her new life as I am, despite the fact that she wasn’t work shy like me and that she got her pension sorted to her satisfaction.

Anyway enough of annoying you with my (very lucky) non-work joy….

All good here, finally got annual mammo results back and all clear (never in any doubt luckily), after a brief hot weather related hiatus am back on the bike which, although quite muddy at this time of year, is lovely.  Yesterday I was cycling through loads of beautiful trees that were raining leaves on me, it was so uplifting….probably as a)its gorgeous but b)that nasty summer has gone.  The size of acorns and cookers this year re the heat of the summer…don’t think I’ve ever seen them so large.

As its going to be fine after today am going to tidy the garden a bit before it gets cooler-on the subject of which I reckon there’s a higher force at work making it warm so we don’t have to use too much very expensive energy - and long may it last!

My morning routine now consists of getting up at a normal time (7 to 8am - it used to be 5.30 to accommodate pre work exercise, ow!), a leisurely breakfast catching up with BBC news on iPad during which the cheekier of the cats walks all over the breakfast bar until I turn the tap on so it can drink from it which results in whomever is sat opposite me being covered in water spatter…nice.  Hygiene standards low here and all meal time are accompanied by at least 5 cat hairs.  It's also made worse by the propensity of cat hairs to stick to my compression glove, that and my naturally greasy skin ensures am always adorned somewhere by cat hairs....its a look!

Christine - hope your son continues his recovery, I love motorbikes and used to ride one (not very well or safely I hasten to add) but, due to car users, they are such a risky form of transport - one of the main reasons why I stick to bridlepaths as much as possible.  Hope your planned mammo happened, suspect like me you’ll be waiting weeks for results though.

Please tell me Caroline that you’ve had your MRI & mammo by now and all’s well?  And how was/is the cruise?  25 years is very impressive, especially by todays standards, I’ve been with my chap for 20 years but would only get married for tax reasons (ah, the romance…).

Hope all is well with both of you (and anyone else who is reading) and you’re having nearly as much fun as I am!

X

Hi ladies,

Lovely to hear from you both. All good here. I had my yearly mammogram in August - all clear. My MRI was also clear which was a relief! Also had to go for an urgent appointment at the gynae clinic, where they took a biopsy - the most painful thing ever!!! But all clear! So I'm "healthy" and cancer free! :happy:

Our 25th anniversary cruise was amazing. Far too much to eat and drink but walked a fair few miles around some lovely cities.  I even did a few visits to the ship's gym!! Going on the running machine while sailing through the Bay of Biscay was an experience :laugh: Think I only felt sea sick on the first night - but that may have been down to the amount of alcohol consumed - (well it was my birthday! ) as well as the choppy waters.
Work is pretty hectic. We've had people leave/go off sick/ due to leave so I've been doing extra to help out. Means I'm doing a lot of extra hours. Today was manic and I felt like I sat at my desk for all of 10 min as the day flew past so quickly.

My kids continue to make my life "interesting" My eldest, who is over in the US called on Friday to tell me he had gotten very drunk on his birthday night out, had his phone stolen, then found his phone but was unable to retrieve it (long story), retrieved his phone but case with drivers licence and bank card were gone. Phone then not charging so he has no access to money, potentially no phone! And is so far away there isn't a great deal we can do. Anyway, he has frozen bank card, using an old account and phone is now working. It's no wonder I have to dye my hair to cover the grey!! 

Sam - I have to say I did feel slightly jealous reading about how much you are enjoying "not working" and it did cross my mind to start thinking of how much longer I would want to work. My hubby has his own business and his plan is to retire mid 50's and travel. I think, in my head, I feel like a ticking time bomb - just waiting for the cancer to come back, so don't want to leave it too late but don't feel ready yet.

Christine, how did your appointment go on the 14th? Did you manage to get there, without it being cancelled and have you had your mammogram yet?

Well, I am knackered so need to head to my bed - had too many late nights recently and I'm looking more tired now than before I went away! (Only been back a week :laugh:)

Take care, catch up soon.

Caroline xx

Hi Girls,

Lovely to hear from both of you. Sam, I love that you are enjoying your retirement.  It took me a while to get used to being free to do what I wanted, I used to feel guilty if I wasn't doing something meaningful.  My daughter, on the other hand is like you, loving it. Because of her illness she isn't able to take advantage of her freedom by getting out and enjoying herself, but is learning that there are lots of things she wasn't able to do when she was working.  She is planning to binge watch all the Handmaid's Tale episodes from Series One to the present " because I can" . That's her mantra these days. Unfortunately, the higher amount of pension, including the huge lump sum were paid in error. She got a phone call at 4pm on a Friday afternoon a couple of weeks ago from a very worried sounding man from the Pension Service, telling her that her employers had, in error, sent the paperwork relevant to someone who has been made redundant, therefore the DWP paid out the higher amount.  The employers only found out their error when the DWP sent them the bill.  She always had a feeling it was a mistake and had made her plans accordingly.  She did tease him, though, by saying in a shocked voice, "But I've paid off my mortgage!" which is true, but it hadn't taken anywhere near the amount she had been paid.  He left her with " We will have to put your pension on hold until we get it sorted out, and I'll send you the paperwork". She immediately tried to complete it on line,  only to receive a message that the site had closed on the 14th until the 28th for updating. She then sent it by email, as she's keen to get it all sorted so she knows exactly what she will get, and got a reply,  'Thank you for all that but we can't do anything until the 28th as we are having a new system installed.' As she is the one sitting on the money she knows it will be dealt with asap.

I did actually get a face to face meeting with the manager of the breast clinic.  I opened the conversation by asking why I was there, as I had never had an appointment in the three years since my surgery and I hadn't had my annual mammogram yet.  She was very nice, very apologetic, and said she would be examining me, and she would arrange for me to have my mammogram afterwards, if that was ok.  I got my copy of the doctor's letter yesterday, and she says she will personally see me in six months time!   All was fine from the examination and I expect the same from the mammogram or I would have heard by now.

Caroline, your cruise sounds amazing,  Just what the doctor ordered!  Coming back to work after that must have been a shock to your system!  Kids!  Can we ever stop worrying about them? That kind of news from thousands of miles away doesn't help.  My great-niece is over here at Uni, from California, I text her every now and then to let her know she can contact me, (and the dozen other relations in this country) if she needs anything. She is very sweet and apparently all is wonderful. Her dad is coming over soon, with her brother, so we will probably see them all soon.

Caroline, I hope you can stop thinking about cancer. I curse it when I have had to wear a bra and prosthesis for a day and get pains all round the mastectomy site, other than that I don't think about it.  I presume that that's what will get me in the end, but until it rears it's ugly head, I'm giving it no space in my brain.  My daughter's  next door neighbour, who was like my prophet of doom, because she had the same cancer as me, went through almost exactly the same procedures and had exactly the same things happen to her twenty years ago, then five years ago got a recurrence and metastases in her lung and brain. She has just passed away.  She refused to have more chemo after a bad reaction, or she may well be still with us.  If I get twenty years, then another five of treatment, I'll be a hundred years old, so I feel that worrying about something that could/will happen in the future is a waste of time.  Of course being ancient already gives me a different outlook, from someone who still has a family at home and people who need them.  My parents had both gone by the time I was my childrens' age so they will be sad but won't suffer in any other way when I'm gone. 

My son is still recovering from his accident. He used his private medical insurance after he couldn't get an NHS orthopaedic appointment to set his broken arm.  He then had diagnostic imaging on every limb and it turned out that he had the six broken ribs, broken nose, arm and split chin that he already knew about, but also two broken feet another broken arm and the originally diagnosed broken arm turned out to be a shattered wrist that required 27 metal pins and clips etc to hold it together. He is now receiving physio and can move his fingers but the whole arm is still terribly swollen.  They are still uncertain whether or not he will need surgery on one of his feet.  He is coping quite well with it, mentally, considering. They completed on their new house last week, and he FaceTimed me from his deck overlooking the river in beautiful sunshine, with his faithful dog at his feet.  His partner was off paddle boarding, which he can't do yet. She sends me Live Photos of her journeys down the river and it looks idyllic.  The aren't moving in until they have done the necessary work to make it their dream home and he's annoyed that he hasn't been able to do anything yet, because of his injuries, but he's hoping to be in by next Spring. He was hoping to be in by New Year, but it's out of the question now. Guess where I will be going for my holidays in future!

I have just had to renew my driving license, and because I have let my passport lapse, I couldn't  do it online, and had to post the application form and send a passport photograph.  If ever there was a crime of cruelty to the elderly that is it!   Making an ancient old crone take a straight-faced photograph should be banned.  I don't feel like an ancient old crone, but that is definitely what the photo shows! Grrr!

On that cheerful note I will say goodbye.

Take care

Christine xxx

.

Hi Girls,

Lovely to hear from both of you. Sam, I love that you are enjoying your retirement.  It took me a while to get used to being free to do what I wanted, I used to feel guilty if I wasn't doing something meaningful.  My daughter, on the other hand is like you, loving it. Because of her illness she isn't able to take advantage of her freedom by getting out and enjoying herself, but is learning that there are lots of things she wasn't able to do when she was working.  She is planning to binge watch all the Handmaid's Tale episodes from Series One to the present " because I can" . That's her mantra these days. Unfortunately, the higher amount of pension, including the huge lump sum were paid in error. She got a phone call at 4pm on a Friday afternoon a couple of weeks ago from a very worried sounding man from the Pension Service, telling her that her employers had, in error, sent the paperwork relevant to someone who has been made redundant, therefore the DWP paid out the higher amount.  The employers only found out their error when the DWP sent them the bill.  She always had a feeling it was a mistake and had made her plans accordingly.  She did tease him, though, by saying in a shocked voice, "But I've paid off my mortgage!" which is true, but it hadn't taken anywhere near the amount she had been paid.  He left her with " We will have to put your pension on hold until we get it sorted out, and I'll send you the paperwork". She immediately tried to complete it on line,  only to receive a message that the site had closed on the 14th until the 28th for updating. She then sent it by email, as she's keen to get it all sorted so she knows exactly what she will get, and got a reply,  'Thank you for all that but we can't do anything until the 28th as we are having a new system installed.' As she is the one sitting on the money she knows it will be dealt with asap.

I did actually get a face to face meeting with the manager of the breast clinic.  I opened the conversation by asking why I was there, as I had never had an appointment in the three years since my surgery and I hadn't had my annual mammogram yet.  She was very nice, very apologetic, and said she would be examining me, and she would arrange for me to have my mammogram afterwards, if that was ok.  I got my copy of the doctor's letter yesterday, and she says she will personally see me in six months time!   All was fine from the examination and I expect the same from the mammogram or I would have heard by now.

Caroline, your cruise sounds amazing,  Just what the doctor ordered!  Coming back to work after that must have been a shock to your system!  Kids!  Can we ever stop worrying about them? That kind of news from thousands of miles away doesn't help.  My great-niece is over here at Uni, from California, I text her every now and then to let her know she can contact me, (and the dozen other relations in this country) if she needs anything. She is very sweet and apparently all is wonderful. Her dad is coming over soon, with her brother, so we will probably see them all soon.

Caroline, I hope you can stop thinking about cancer. I curse it when I have had to wear a bra and prosthesis for a day and get pains all round the mastectomy site, other than that I don't think about it.  I presume that that's what will get me in the end, but until it rears it's ugly head, I'm giving it no space in my brain.  My daughter's  next door neighbour, who was like my prophet of doom, because she had the same cancer as me, went through almost exactly the same procedures and had exactly the same things happen to her twenty years ago, then five years ago got a recurrence and metastases in her lung and brain. She has just passed away.  She refused to have more chemo after a bad reaction, or she may well be still with us.  If I get twenty years, then another five of treatment, I'll be a hundred years old, so I feel that worrying about something that could/will happen in the future is a waste of time.  Of course being ancient already gives me a different outlook, from someone who still has a family at home and people who need them.  My parents had both gone by the time I was my childrens' age so they will be sad but won't suffer in any other way when I'm gone. 

My son is still recovering from his accident. He used his private medical insurance after he couldn't get an NHS orthopaedic appointment to set his broken arm.  He then had diagnostic imaging on every limb and it turned out that he had the six broken ribs, broken nose, arm and split chin that he already knew about, but also two broken feet another broken arm and the originally diagnosed broken arm turned out to be a shattered wrist that required 27 metal pins and clips etc to hold it together. He is now receiving physio and can move his fingers but the whole arm is still terribly swollen.  They are still uncertain whether or not he will need surgery on one of his feet.  He is coping quite well with it, mentally, considering. They completed on their new house last week, and he FaceTimed me from his deck overlooking the river in beautiful sunshine, with his faithful dog at his feet.  His partner was off paddle boarding, which he can't do yet. She sends me Live Photos of her journeys down the river and it looks idyllic.  The aren't moving in until they have done the necessary work to make it their dream home and he's annoyed that he hasn't been able to do anything yet, because of his injuries, but he's hoping to be in by next Spring. He was hoping to be in by New Year, but it's out of the question now. Guess where I will be going for my holidays in future!

I have just had to renew my driving license, and because I have let my passport lapse, I couldn't  do it online, and had to post the application form and send a passport photograph.  If ever there was a crime of cruelty to the elderly that is it!   Making an ancient old crone take a straight-faced photograph should be banned.  I don't feel like an ancient old crone, but that is definitely what the photo shows! Grrr!

On that cheerful note I will say goodbye.

Take care

Christine xxx

.

Hello - I am newly diagnosed and would like to join the Family please. I am 45 years old with a three and a twelve year old. I went from anticipating a treatment plan and op date yesterday morning to the discovery of two further, potentially malignant tumours, all thanfully on the same breast as the original "mother" tumour. It is what it is, but I cant help being more than a little emotional at the moment so taking diazepam since yesterday to take the edge off the present tense. Am very lucky to have a Spaniel, a Husband, a Mum and a Sister who are all rallying around me. Reading your posts here is also very encouraging - I just want the operation behind me. I want a complete mascetomay and want the tumour(s) and surrounding tissue gone and reconstruction all in one. HER2 also positive so will need chemo but to focused on getting the op behind me to think about that at the moment.  

Hi Jennifer,

You are very welcome in our little family, despite it a sad reason you have found us.  You are at the worst stage of your cancer journey just now.It's all in front of you and it's scary, but you have seen from our experiences that it's not the end of the world.  There are other people on this forum who have gone through the journey more than once and they are still going strong and can offer excellent advice to newly diagnosed women. 
I was just so lucky to find Sam and Caroline who were diagnosed around the same time as me and if you read all our conversations, ( I can't imagine you have read them all) you will see the journey from a quite stoic but very humorous perspective.  I have got off extremely lightly, just surgery and hormone tablets. Although you can see I behaved like a stroppy toddler in the early days, not wanting to take the meds and falling out with the oncologist. I wish everyone diagnosed had it as easy as me.  Caroline had rather more in the way of treatment than I, and poor old Sam has gone through everything that could be thrown at her, but you can see from her writings that there is no way it was going to beat her.  It is good that if you have to have extra tumours, they are in the same breast.  I have been the unlucky host to investigations in the other breast.  The first things shown on the ultrasound scan in my spare boob turned out to be DEAD FAT!!!! How's that for a confidence booster?  The next things showed up on my first post surgery mammogram and were calcifications. Apparently some of these can turn cancerous so I had to have a biopsy under mammogram conditions because they don't show up on a scan.  You will read all about that delight if you keep on reading the conversations. Alas, they were so tiny that they escaped from the tweezers or whatever it was the doctor was using to catch them, and after going through the experience twice, I received a letter confirming that the biopsies showed only healthy breast tissue. Yippee!

I wish you the very best for your immediate treatment and your future recovery and will be delighted to hear from you as you go through your treatments, in fact, it's mandatory now you have joined the family, and it'll be nice to know how your lovely supportive family get on, too.

love

Christine xx

PS What's your Spaniel's name?

Hi Jennifer

Christine is, and will always be, much more empathetic and articulate than I could ever hope to be and gave some sound advice (I'd expect nothing less!).

Just to assure you this whole cancer nonsense is very manageable, yes it's **** at times too but those pass and quickly are resigned to memories.

So welcome and I do love that your spaniel is given top billing above family and friends. ..and quite right too!

Sam x

Yeah! Go Sam!!!

Hi Jennifer, I am sad that you find yourself here and we have all been where you are now. We were all diagnosed in 2019 and found each other at the beginning  of our journeys. If you find yourself with (a lot) of time on your hands, you might like to read our thread from the beginning! Sam has suggested we put it in a book :laugh:

I was 48 when diagnosed. I was pre menopausal and have 3 boys - all a lot older than your 2. I found early on that I became very determined to beat this and took it head on. I had lobular breast cancer and had a partial mastectomy with a LICAP flap reconstruction done at the same time as my surgery. I have a scar that looks like I fought a shark but I'm very proud of it!! My cancer was very highly hormonal but HER2-. I needed to have another surgery after my original one as my margins weren't clear. Then 15 rounds of radiotherapy followed by 10 years of medication. I'm currently on tamoxifen and after a few issues, initially (mentally) I'm managing fine now. I've learnt that it's good to have people to share/off load to, who really understand and that worrying about things that are out of your control is a waste of my time/energy and I now know how much we should appreciate each day. 
The 3 of us used to message on a very regular basis but as we move further away from that time, we just check in every now and again with each other. But we are here when/if you need us! Having these 2 ladies to chat to was a massive help to me and hopefully we can offer you the same support.

caroline x

Happy thingy ladies!

Hope all is well with all, am blinkin’ marvellous myself, still loving not working and just wished I could have done it sooner (I couldn’t!).

I still am sort of considering doing something next tax year (ever the accountant!) but think with my exacting needs now (exercise in the morning, lovely cooked lunch at home c/o me, seeing to the poor little kittens every need (!!), etc)I just don’t think I’ll find anything that suits….maybe just do some volunteering some afternoons a week, think I should be able to manage that (!!).

Am all set for Christmas which means jot all really as everyone else does the hard work, I did manage to send the cards early doors (2nd class stamps given unemployment) and some of them have actually arrived which is nothing short of a festive miracle quite frankly. Off round to some pals of Adrians who will put on a blummin’ good feed, Adrian’s been bought some books that I want (ha!) and has bought me a new ordinance survey map (who says romance is dead mm?) that I asked for to plan more bike rides..yay!  Love a map, so old school.

For my (very delayed) birthday I got some new decking the other week (that Adrian knows how to treat a lass!) so it is very enjoyable not slipping on my bum and not having my feet go through the rotten wood, quite a novelty in fact….

I’ve started doing some things on my very extensive London bucket list (stuff I want to do before moving back oop north whilst am close), went to some fab churches/graveyards and loved Leighton House (one for the artist Christine!).  In Jan am booked to go & see opera at the Royal Opera House and also some Shakespeare at the Globe(never been before), makes me sound cultured, as you know that is definitely not the case….think I’ll be more interested in the building than Titus Andronicus.  On my recent London visit found a new fave street that I hadn’t walked before (hate the tubes now so try and walk everywhere)…Fleet Street, such lovely old buildings and the Old Bailey at the end…marvellous!  I do want to go to a trial at the Old Bailey, only problem is you can’t take in drinks and I’m surgically attached to my water bottle…

So many adventures are being had - in between train strikes. Was in last weekend and it was far too close to Christmas and therefore far too busy, thankfully had another Covid shot and flu not too long ago.  Saw the Mousetrap, very good, love a bit of Agatha…70 years run not bad eh?

Anyhoo hope you both are having nearly as much fun as this idiot is and hope your families are looking forward to spending some quality time (eating, fighting…says a lot about my family) with your lovely selves. Enjoy!

Sam X

Hey Sam, 

I was just thinking, this afternoon, that I must check in with you and Caroline for Christmas.  I have been keeping up a rather nice correspondence with two or three other people on here, so I know how they are but I was wondering about you. Obviously you are doing great! I'm so pleased!  I am envious of your culture fest. I'm not particularly cultured but I LOVE opera and ballet.

My daughter (also an accountant) also retired this year, paid off her mortgage and now dreams of a cottage in the sun, preferably in Greece, so she is desperate to get hold of all the documents I acquired for my son's birthday, three years ago, which enabled him very recently to become an Irish citizen, ergo an EU citizen. He has got his citizenship but needs the documents until his passport comes through.  I don't know if her plans are aimed at pre or post my demise. Possibly things should move faster for her, as my son's application was in among thousands of others, all wanting to be free to travel to European countries without restrictions.

You sound to be in great form, Sam. I'm really glad to hear it.  I'm doing great, too.  Been doing a lot of paintings, paid commissions, no less.  I just wish I had the courage to ask for a bit more than it cost me in materials. I've done some unpaid ones, too. My daughter wanted a painting of the late lamented darling Smudge. She also wanted one for her friend, of the friend's late lamented Westie. Then, just as I started working on something I wanted to do, she informs me 'we have t got any paintings of Meg.'  Meg was a Sheltie crossed with a Border Collie who died years before I even thought of taking up painting! So Mummy duly obliged and unknown to my darling daughter, there is a big painting, hidden in my "studio" of Meg, with her toys in her favourite place, my bed. I haven't decided yet, whether I should surprise her with Meg for Christmas or give her Smudge for Christmas and Meg for her birthday two weeks later.  I quite like the idea of giving her Meg first.

I haven't been out in the car since last Friday, the first day of the freeze.  Walking has been bad enough, even with spikes on my shoes. Even Archie has not wanted to walk far.  He doesn't feel cold, obviously with that double coat but I think his little feet must hurt on the ice and snow. It has been so dangerous on our cul de sac I'm not taking any chances, although it's only 150m to the main road where everything has been merrily passing to and fro without a problem. I am still well stocked up with food from my last shop about two weeks ago.  Like you, I am going to be well fed and watered by friends on the big feast day, so I don't have any special goodies still to buy. My son and his lovely partner are getting a food hamper again.  I asked for gift suggestions weeks ago and answer came there none, so a hamper it is.  They won't be here until between Christmas and New Year, so I have got stacks of goodies to call on if I am suddenly attacked (I mean surprised, of course) by unexpected visitors.  A quick dip in the hamper and pop the goodies in a gift bag and voila!

My son has actually excelled himself this year, apart from buying their mansion on the river, a new boat and a new Range Rover, boat and car possibly preloved, he FaceTimed me last week.  I had just received my Christmas present from them, a fabulous selection of artist materials, when he said he had put some money in my account for a birthday present. "To go out and buy myself something nice". I told you before about his (over) protectiveness towards me.  He had been quizzing me, earlier in the week, on why I was wearing warm clothes if I wasn't skimping on my heating, etc.  He had just happened to send me the exact amount that has been quoted for the cost of fuel bills this year!!!.  If truth were told, I was skimping, slightly, following all the suggestions for keeping usage as low as possible without actually suffering because of it. I certainly wasn't cold, with my four layers of warm clothing on, but I feel very self indulgent now, with the central heating on and the fire!

Caroline,  I'm sure we will hear from you soon.  How are the family? How are you? I hope you find yourself in rude health and looking forward to a lovely Christmas.

Well, my lovelies, isn't it great that we are down to catching up occasionally after our adventures of the last three years.  I wish you both everything you could wish for yourselves and your loved ones. Have a wonderful Christmas and another Happy New Year!

Lots of love

Christine and Archie xxx

Hi ladies, 

so lovely to hear from you both and hear how well life is going. I am currently sat on a hotel balcony over looking Honolulu. It's 9pm and still lovely and warm. We are here for my husband's 50th birthday - his choice/he paid. We had a nightmare journey getting here - lost luggage, missed connecting flights, arriving a day later than planned. It is a beautiful place but have to say my mental health hasn't been coping too well with it. My stress and anxiety levels seem pretty high at the mo and for many reasons I didn't want to come this far away from home, so close to Christmas. Had a bit of a breakdown yesterday and ended up in bed at 7pm and slept on and off for 11 hours, in between crying. Not really sure what is going on but I'm on countdown to get home. There have been so many issues since being here with kids/dogs/Christmas/work, it's just completely stressed me out. 
But I know I'm sounding very ungrateful. On a positive side, my niece is out here too at the moment as her boyfriends family all live here. Her mum - my sister in law is also here with us. My niece lives out in the US so we don't get to see her very often and today her boyfriend proposed so that is lovely that we can celebrate with them, in person.

Well, again ladies, so lovely to hear from you both. 3 years survivors! And here's to many more!! I do have to say, in a way it feels like a distant memory these days. I'm better at keeping my worries in check. Life has returned to normal business so i don't really have time to worry! 
So it just leaves me to say - have an amazing Christmas- stay safe and warm. Enjoy the festivities! It will soon be over :wink:

Caroline x

Hi Caroline,

Well, didn't Sam pick exactly the right time to reach out to us? I think your sentence "I'm currently sat on a hotel balcony overlooking Honolulu" wins the prize for generating envy in all who read it in the cold, windy North West of England. I.e. ME!!!  Hawaii is one place I have not been but would love to.  The envy did go down a tad at the nightmare journey you had getting there. Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit fragile, it's a pity that life and its problems doesn't stay on hold so you can enjoy your holiday in one of Earth's nearest places to paradise.  Hopefully the memories you have in the future will just contain the good aspects of your trip, like seeing your niece and being able to celebrate her engagement, not to mention the island's beauty.

Yes, three years down the line.  It does seem like a long time ago, such a lot has happened outside our little cancer driven universe., Three Prime Ministers for one, Covid and all its horrors for another and now the war in Ukraine and possible power cuts to add to our worries. In twenty or so years you will be saying, "OMG those 2020's were a nightmare!  But we did go to Hawaii!" :silly: For:me, the bright side today is the snow seems to be melting!  Yay!!! I am adding to my shopping list on  an hourly basis, because, on Tuesday, I plan to take the covers off the car, hope it will start, and venture out to do some shopping. I am instructed by my daughter to make sure I go out before Wednesday, when the ambulance people are going on strike. Her premise being that we have never had to call an ambulance in our lives, and it would be Sod's law that we would need one on the day there aren't any!  Such a pessimist!

So, despite repeating myself, I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a worry free, Happy New Year!

Now, it's your turn again, Sam, our lovely Caroline sounds like she needs some of your cheerful words now, unless you are as jealous as I am at her being in Honolulu, in which case forget it! :sad:

Lots of love

Christine and Archie xx

Hi ladies, wanted to update you on things going on here. So came back from Hawaii, had lost a little weight - which I was pleasantly surprised about. Thought it was due to the large portions out there which had made me feel less hungry. Christmas was busy and I found it quite stressful - put down to jet lag, being away so near Christmas. Weight loss continued - only slowly but again, probably stress. The tiredness continued, as did the slow weight loss - by now I had lost 8lb in around 5 weeks. I wondered if I could ask my GP for a blood test. Maybe that would show why I was tired/ losing weight. Couldn't get through. So a work colleague suggested I called the breast nurse, if I was worried. Gave them a call, explained that I was probably wasting their time but told them about tiredness, weight loss and she asked if i had also been feeling out of breath - i had! i asked if id be able to have a blood test. She said I needed to come in and they got me an appointment for the next week. Saw the nurse specialist. She did a breast examine and found a couple of lumps. Thinks they maybe fat necrosis so booked me in to have an ultrasound. Listened to my chest and said she wanted me to go straight for a chest X-ray. She also booked me in for a CT scan and blood test. She said 99% of the time, it's nothing and I did feel quite calm about it all. I have had the chest X-ray and blood test. Ultrasound is on Tuesday, CT scan on Thursday. Still steadily losing weight - which to be honest I'm quite liking! I needed to shift around half a stone and had been struggling to shift it for the past 2 years!! 
So I'm in that waiting limbo land again. Most of the time I'm feeling positive and sure there's a none sinister explanation. Other times I am convinced I have cancer in my lung, or my liver or my stomach (damn Dr Google). You were both so good at support when we went through our battles - over 3 years ago, so I felt you'd understand my fears. I have told a few friends and husband about my tests but I think I play it down so not to worry them. Also think they don't understand why I would be worried.  Part of me wishes I'd never called the nurse. Today I was planning my funeral! I have that little voice in my head warning me it's going to be bad and then I think I don't want those results!

Anyway, thank you for reading and allowing me to off load. Hopefully get through next week and then get positive news! 
Caroline xx