Loved your long response. :happy:

Cheers.  I didn't try hard enough to resist temptation, so I'm now knackered but have a clean house for the first time in what feels like weeks!

xxx

Hi all

Let me reassure you that all is fine but my Dad did die this week (as expected), it was the best farewell as both myself and mother no. 3 were at his bedside and I’d been playing him some of his music in the morning (he has quite an eclectic taste to say the least…glad I get to inherit his music). My father wants a cremation and then to be put in the dustbin ( I kid you not) with no funeral …we will respect his wishes to a point but are considering scattering him on a Scottish beach (he loved it up there). Managed to brave the snow in North Yorks and the wind on Friday to get back home for a break (break the cats out of their imprisonment and chores!) as mother no.3 has relatives visiting/comforting/entertaining her, off back up tomorrow to finish the huge amount of admin that comes with death….am lucky (!!) that the Mother no1’s admin was so recent that its still fresh in my mind (I’ve always been good at finding the silver lining no matter how elusive).  Anyway I’m just glad he’s somewhere better and not lying in a hospital bed with no quality of life and having no choice but to listen to me yatter on at length.

Thanks for your mails C&C, not sure what I told you Christine during chemo (or whether I gave the wrong impression to Vee) but chemo wasn’t too bad…feeling rough isn’t the worst (for me not being able to eat or exercise throughout would have been THE killer). And rest assured no plans to run off abroad with any strange man (the one I’ve got would take some beating re being an oddity anyway).  I am sort of taking it easy but, like Mother no. 3, find it therapeutic to get things sorted and have a plan, believe you me I am planning in future weeks to spend a significant amount of time watching all the drivel that I’ve recorded on TV but haven’t yet had chance to watch.  In North Yorks the local TV aerial burnt down and lots of places are still without TV…its quite nice and archaic at the same time.

Caroline I must say up until now I’d never quite understood what palliative nurses did, you’re a wonder!  We had the loveliest and caring nurses visiting my father daily to fill upon the syringe driver and the nurse who we called when he died couldn’t have been any more lovely, she truly surpassed anything I would have expected from anyone and couldn’t have been more sensitive and helpful…its the thing you hope for but certainly don’t assume.  I do hope you’re as proud of yourself and what you do as I am!  Can’t really apply that to the (exciting..mmm) world of finance in any way shape or form…

The only thing that was very disappointing was the supplier of the hospital beds who were rude, lacked empathy and really gave an exceedingly poor all round service.  Rest assured they are now my new project regarding complaints as I would like to try and avoid anybody else going through the crap that my mother did, not acceptable at all.  Did I mention that re the Mother no. 1 I had complaints with her bank (3 of them!) and her credit card companies….all dealt with successfully and to my satisfaction!  I wonder if its a sign of age that I do actually enjoy a good complaint?

Thanks also Caroline for top tips re Podcasts etc. I may have a listen but rest assured with my natural bluntness there not a lot that falls into the category of ‘things I don’t want to talk about’ regarding death/cancer etc.  I am the proverbial open book, feel sorry for my poor mother no 3…think she’s ok with me asking ‘where do you think he’s gone? and suchlike, will tell her about the podcasts too.

Envious too of your hubby, I do love skiing (despite the fact that I excel at being rubbish at it) but haven’t been due to hip breakage, being unfit, cancer then COVID for over 5 years…next year me and my pal will resume our annual trip…luckily she’s even more rubbish than me (her speciality is skiing uphill).

If you need sponsorship ref your walk let us know how I can help, good cause and all that and hope your week was a good one with lots of walking and no hula hoop incidents (never have the coordination required for such equipment).

On the knee front (Christine) the mother no. 3 is having a knee op end March so it will be interesting to see how that goes (my knees will no doubt go the same way…I blame too much step aerobics!), no driving for 6 weeks after but am glad yours are holding (you) up.  For the mother we’ll set up a rota of who looks after her.  And I think knee annoyance is amongst very good reasons to not clean the house…mine is filthy and will stay that way until I can be bothered (probably next year some time).

Archie sounds like he’s quite well behaved in the scheme of things, my fathers dog (miniature schnauzer) chewed my lovely gloves whilst I was up there (my fault for leaving them in reach of the mutt) and yapps  SO much, when anyone’s at the door, walking past etc.  He also insists on stopping every 2 mins to sniff and pee on every walk…I have no idea where all the pee comes from quite frankly.

Sounds like your daughter had quite a time with COVID, glad she’s getting/got back to normal now, I’m like you in that I am still with mask…for reasons of protection plus I’ve huge stocks that I’d hate to waste!!  So glad the dogs are doing so well together and also cheering up the neighbourhood…well done to them & you.

And you think your note was long mmm….

We’ve had 9 viewing so far at the Mother no. 1’s house since it went on the market last Weds so fingers crossed for an offer soon, good time to sell I’m told and this afternoon the boyfriend and I are sorting the rest of her estate…I can hear Christine telling me to rest but just want it all sorted (it is now 9 months since she died).

Glad all are doing well, and if the universe could just leave Sam shaped challenges be for a bit I’d be ever so grateful…

XX

Hiya Sam

I love your messages!
I am glad/sorry for the loss of your dad, and you will know exactly what I mean. There comes a time when you want their suffering to stop. I fully endorse his views re a funeral.   I keep getting local advertising catalogues promoting, among other things "A Simple Farewell" No frills cremation. I've cut some of the ads out and left them in different drawers for the kids to find when the time comes! I'm not leaving them much, but I don't want them wasting it on a flipping funeral for me!

I hope you get the house sold and the admin over and done with. I only had to do most of it once as there were only fourteen months between their deaths and the ***** of a solicitor did the distribution of the legacies, which were a lot less than my poor dad thought he was leaving us, but I had to organise both funerals, close all their accounts, clear the house and inform the necessary services etc. after the my mother passed.

I was delighted that my daughter actually felt up to swimming on Friday!  It totally zonked her and she had to stop after half a mile because her arms weren't  leaving the water and her legs had stopped moving for the last stretch. She is girding her loins for the return to the office tomorrow and I'm girding mine for a whole day of Bobbin tormenting Archie.   The weather forecast is 100% rain so I won't even be able to chuck 'em out into the waterlogged garden. 

Take care, Sam, and you Caroline, Vee, et al xxx

If I can remember how to do it I might remove Archie on here and put up a snap of the Bobbin monster, he is so cute looking and can be an angel!

 xxx

PS  I did remember and my photo now is a painting I did of Bobbin when he was 10 weeks old  

Hi Caroline,

I'm glad you are able to make the best of your current situation, and you are all safe and warm. Here is not so bad. We seem to be faring better than most, at the moment. We had heavy snow yesterday morning but it was gone as fast as it came by mid afternoon.  It has not stopped raining for the last few hours, my garden path looks like a canal and Archie was very puzzled as he splashed his way out to pee.

Glad you like the painting - he will never look like that again, so I did it for my daughter.  He's a gangly blond scruff now. He's had one haircut and he's due another next week.  My daughter has asked me to try to clear his dreadlocks around his back end as the groomer said she will shave him if she can't just brush them!

Ive just seen on the news there's another storm on the way, so staying indoors and staying warm is the only way to go.

xxx

Just wanted a check in! How is everyone doing? 
 

caroline xx

Hiya,

i was thinking the same thing. All okay Chez Sheltie but for being foolhardy and getting so excited by the good weather I did gardening and spring cleaning and am now almost immobile ecause of my knees..

I'm getting them injected next week so I'll be ok after that.  I'm going to have to  start to listen to them complaining before I need artificial ones!

In the meantime I'm taking it easy.  That's only possible when Bobbin is at home,but, two days a week my daughter has to go to the office and "Grandma" does doggy daycare. He isn't back until next Tuesday so I'm hoping to be able to play with him then.  Archie let's me down over playing with Bobbin by running away and leaving playtime to me.

I hope all is well at yours and that everyone else is ok, too.

Christine xxx

Hi there

All good here, been very busy..mostly with trying too get an Ukrainian refugee for my spare room…let’s just say the system isn’t there and nothing is joined up, very frustrating but luckily there’s lots of tenacious people like me around!

My mothers estate is getting there re sorting out so am now mortgage free, a wonderful feeling indeed, raised many a glass to that one.  Her house sale is progressing fine too so fingers crossed all sorted within a couple of months.

Me and the step mother have also sorted (just as well I’m an expert now) my fathers stuff which was thankfully so much more straightforward than my mothers, she was actually in hospital yesterday having a knee operation…I hadn’t realised how big an op it was, may have to go up next week to provide support depending how she gets on (love an excuse for a visit back to the motherland).  Have you considered the op Christine??  I’ll let you know how she gets on if its of interest.

Other than that its work (dull), gym & bike rides (lovely) and counting down the days until I move back up north (sad but true…I have a retirement calculator app thing on my phone…its just doesn’t count down quickly enough!!) I’ve been getting out and about a bit…

Did manage to drag the poor Adrian to Brighton Sunday…blummin cold but lovely, much prefer the seaside when there’s not the hordes of sun-lovers, had a lovely (and by lovely I mean HUGE!) fish and chip lunch so a very good time was had by all.

Finally had our gals annual catch up at the spa (not been for 2/3 yrs) which was soooo nice although I did overdo it on the fitness classes (aerobics is not my friend re jumping, lack of differentiation between left and right and no coordination whatsoever) as you do but as much as my bum ached my cheeks ached more from laughing…mainly at myself.

I also managed to finish some painting (get me!), don’t worry Christine your place as artist in residence is safe as mine were walls & ceilings, far safer so I now have (light) purple bathroom walls (love ‘em) but one resulting downside is that I can now show the world the colour of said walls on my lymphoedema compression glove (doh! Why didn’t I wear my marigolds mmm?).

In the process of organising a pals 50th celebrations…there’s 11 of us going to Dubrovnik June, I’ve been before but that doesn’t detract from my excitement and I love planning!  I’ve decided am going to stay out a few extra days to do some reading (never manage to make time to read at home and have so many books that I want to read), just me….love my own indulgence!!

Glad all animals appear to be ok (Caroline has your monster settled any more??) all 4 furry beasts here are fine, creating much mess and beseeching for more food here…bit like their owner actually.

Enjoy those spring bulbs, as I will tell you every year they’re my fave…tulips are about to pop here and bluebells out very shortly…love it!  The only thing I don’t like about spring is the clock change, I had to tell the Waitrose delivery man ‘off’ the other day for being early (was eating my dinner), his poor confused face when he realised I hadn’t put my clock forward…what an idiot I am, I did of course apologise profusely and reminded myself that I am not always right!!!  Still need to change that clock….

Have fun! XX

Hi Sam,

As always, reading your stories makes my day!  
As I was reading I was saying to myself, I must remember to reply to that point, probably about five times, so here goes.....

We have a family of refugees from Ukraine staying on our cul de sac.  The husband is actually British with a Ukrainian wife and two boys.  They lived in a flat in Kyiv (sp?) and as soon as the bombing started they grabbed what they could, got into the car and headed for the hills, well, the border, actually. presumably, he was able to get them to UK easily because he's British, but they had to leave behind.  almost everything they owned. There is a nice lady, who bought my opposite neighbour's bungalow when he died, she herself was resettling from France, and actually is rarely here, for whatever reason. Her daughter knew of the refugee family and the mum has let them stay in her bungalow. My lovely neighbours set up a Messenger group at the beginning of lockdown so anyone who needed help could pass the word.  It had gone quiet lately, but it was quite comforting to know there was always help at hand if you need it.  The word went out on our Messenger page about our new neighbours and immediately a plea was issued for help for them.  Last Friday the new family were presented with £300 worth of edible, play and pampering goodies, plus cash vouchers from our whip-round. The boys have places in the local school but I've only ever seen the dad getting into his car..Having put opaque window blind film on the lower part of my windows to stop the dogs barking at everything that passes, means I can't be a nosey neighbour so it's just coincidence that I have happened to see anything.  It is so nice to have kind neighbours!

Second point to respond to - knee surgery. I was told a few years ago by my GP that my knees were in a really bad way and that surgery will be the only option once the Tablets and injections stop working.  I was referred to an orthopaedic surgeon who literally spent most of the consultation telling me why I don't want an operation. I was already doubtful about having surgery because I knew a few people who had been given new knees and regretted it, not to do it.  I'm still hoping the injections will work. Having them on Thursday, so keeping my fingers crossed they will work again. Please do let me know how your 'mum' gets on.

Point three, - retirement.  My daughter probably could have retired through ill health, any time in the last few years, but she has a dogged nature and kept herself going by taking a huge pay cut and reducing her hours, and the last couple of years, working from home really helped her. However, I'm sure I already said, she was off work nearly three months recently with her gall bladder surgery then Covid ( and loss of Smudge)  When she had her return to work interview, her line  manager said she had reached a couple of trigger points, so they had a discussion about her future  and it seems to be turning out right, for once.  The company don't want to make her redundant because of the ongoing costs, but may be prepared to offer her a cash settlement if she were to take early retirement. It all has to be made official yet but we are keeping our fingers crossed that she will be able to retire at the end of August if the numbers work out ok!!!  She still has a mortgage but also has a lot of equity in her house so it could possibly work out financially for her. I hope it does because she needs to rest completely for at least a year before her health will improve.

Point 4 - I hope you have a lovely time catching up on your reading, I know the feeling of so many books, so little time, but, Dubrovnik seems a bit too close for my liking to Ukraine  My friend's husband recently went to Slovakia, twenty miles from Ukraine border, two weeks after the invasion. I thought that dangerous too.  It is onlyI now that I realise how supportive our parents were when we went to live in Saudi Arabia just a few weeks after the Six day war between Arabs and Israel   I only learned many years later that my mum used to cry every night from worry until she heard from us. A telephone call had to be booked five days in advance in those days and mail could take up to two weeks!  Thank heavens for modern communications!

Point five - tulips  I have been worried about mine as they came up so early, encouraged by all the sunshine then the cold seems to have stunted their growth. They were really tall last year but only one has shot up, very spindly and the flower is white, whereas last year they were all pink.  The rest are budding but only a few inches tall.

Glad you are enjoying life, note for future, change the clocks before you go to bed the night before  The  day they go forward is my favourite day of the year, for that extra hour of daylight with promise of more to come.

Right, that's mine and Sam's life stories updated, Anyone else going to report on the last few weeks?
 

Love

Christine xxx