Hi

i had a similar visit 5 days ago, except I've never been through this before, I'm still waiting on CT as my lymph nodes were also affected 

I don't know how I'm meant to feel, I just feel like I need all the results now and the wait is excruciating 

I have a 3 week wait for CT due to coronavirus although I am on an emergency cancellation list

i would welcome any advice at all on how best to deal with this, I'm 43 and have 3 young children 

xxx

Hi AMil,

I am sorry to hear you are joining the club no one wants to join!! I think my advice would be to always try and remain positive. Medicine has moved on so much that breast cancer has a really high survival rate - in the 90%'s. Talk to people - friends/family or even us. I found that people who had been through/were going through BC had a better understanding of what I was going through but my friends and family were still amazing. Try and keep busy, between appointments. Waiting for scans/results is definitely one of the hardest parts!!! 
Remember, this is just a 'blip' The 3 of us all had very different journeys but we were there to talk about it and share worries and advice. Happy to do the same for you.

Caroline

Christine,

Thats really sad re your neighbours loss, 40 is so young, I'm sure they know how much you'd like to support them and know that you care...and that counts for lots, and you'll be able to go mad with hugs, as we all will before Easter I reckon (don't forget my Nostradamus tendencies!).

Totally agree with you re people definitely upping their game on the festive front, I've been making the most of my very short and exceedingly slow shuffles around my neighbourhood to be the nosy old crone that I am destined to be and have a top and bottom 5 of tasteful decorations, in and outside houses, thankfully most houses have done a nice job, the more  'interesting' festive displays have been reserved for other, less celubrious neighbourhoods ...ha!!! I've had mine up since mid November, more to get personal value for money and to get it out of the way well before the op, and it does amuse me that the female cat likes to marmalise the tree...bl00dy idiot.  So I am glad you've seen all the festive light and have seen fit to go a wee bit Christmassy...well done!!

Im loving my mother (the agency staff as she's now referred to) being here and seeing to my every exacting need, she's quite rubbish at following directions though and can't make a cup of tea for toffee but beggars and choosers and all that.  My main issues remain, in order, being vvvv painful when coughing/sneezing (why is it so difficult to stop yourself coughing?), the annoyance of having to plan to go to the loo (the support pants are soooo cumbersome and if the band rests on where the magician tried to saw me in half I certainly know about it), our old friend constipation ( thus was also one of my worst aspects about chemo, maybe the worst actually) and now lack of sleep, hence sending this early on a Sunday morning. Sleeping in my back is not a natural position, and neither is being surrounded/elevated by 57 pillows....my lack of much needed beauty sleep will start to show soon.

So as you can tell am actually doing very well! First appointment with nurse to remove bandage next Friday.

Hope your knee injection works this time Christine, I'll be thinking of you whilst gassing with the lovely chemo unit nurses as having my zolodex shot that day....nice to get out but not relishing the need to wash my hair ...it's developing an 'interesting' look day by day...much like some of the dodgier Christmas decs above.

Id like to think that come the 20th Dec your house will be adorned with flashing lights, inflatable snow men, life size reindeer and one of those Santas climbing up the wall, oh and tonnes of icicles that light up from top to bottom....the whole 9 yards and a little bit more. I would personally be so worried about my electrical bill, such a tight northerner!!!

Stay safe but go mad.

X

Hi Girls,

I hope yesterday's news from BoJo hasn't knocked your Christmas plans into touch.  My daughter and I are not being affected by it, I'm pleased to say and we have our Chinese banquet booked for delivery on Christmas Eve, for us to zap the next day for our Christmas Day dinner. 
I was actually, very lucky to see my son the other day. He had to drive North to make a delivery to a customer so carried on to sunny Lancashire. Strictly he shouldn't have been allowed in, nor, God forbid, given a hug, but he was and I did!  He has been extremely careful during the pandemic because his partner is quite vulnerable.  I felt like my Christmas had come early because my daughter came round, too. We are in a bubble so that was quite legal, and sitting in my lounge with both my kids and all three dogs felt wonderful.

I'm going to make a confession to you guys, because I know it won't get back to them, but I lied to my kids.  I wanted to give them money for Christmas as my bank account was a lot healthier this year than last, due to not having done anything enjoyable and they had both had a lot of expense this year. My daughter had to have a new roof on her house and my son had had to spend a lot of money on trips to his in-laws to help out with a sick parent.  I spent quite a few sleepless nights thinking how to give it to them. I knew that they wouldn't accept it if I just tried to give it to them, so I lied.  I had a small lottery win, the week before, so I showed them the email announcing a win, but exaggerated the amount ( £3 became £3000) and paid a thousand pounds into each of their bank accounts. We have always shared any windfalls, so they were delighted to think this was lucky money!  I'm still smiling about it! I even switched on my Christmas lights while they were here!

I hope your discomfort post surgery is lessening, Sam,  the thought of that, alone, would be enough to put me off having reconstruction, fortunately I can use my age as an excuse for not going down that route. I don't like to try to sleep on my back, either, but find it helps if I have to, to put pillows under my knees as well as under my shoulders/head, to give a sun lounger effect.

My knee injection seems to have worked, I just get the odd twinge now, but am walking without limping! Yay!!!   Just before I had it my daughter reminded me that I had gone mad doing housework and gardening after the last one, while the local anaesthetic was still working, and she's convinced I bu@@ared it up, so I had to promise to rest up for a day. I did a grocery shop on my way to the hospital so I was able to just go home and take it easy after the jab.  I'm now trying to ease myself off the painkillers- no easy task. I've reduced the codeine to twice a day, and so far so good. I had a bad headache the first day, but not so bad subsequently, I'll go down to one a day from tomorrow. I have never been one for taking tablets and it has freaked me out taking15 a day with my Lansoprazole and Letrozole. I might hang on the the Amitriptyline, though, I love the way it helps my sleep!

Today is Smudge's tenth birthday! He still looks like a puppy but is slowing down a bit now, although you wouldn't think so if you saw the delight he showed when he got his Rupert Bear birthday present. He has chased it and chewed it all morning. He didn't appreciate my singing Happy Birthday on FaceTime though. 

Caroline, I'm sure you are busy with Christmas preparations, I was always quite a last minute person when the kids were young, working full time doesn't help, as well as being the family driver, so as well as getting everything organised I was the one going to pick up grandparents etc.  Christmas has got smaller and smaller as years go by and families get smaller, and this year I have really cut down on preparations although it was nice to sit down and organise my donations to my charities. I gave a bit more  to a few more, this year, rather than buying and posting dozens of cards and gifts people didn't really want and certainly didn't need, just from habit.  I did warn people that I was only giving to charity this year, and I hope they don't end up buying me something and make me feel guilty.  Not being able to have visits helps that, actually, 

Have a lovely Christmas despite the restrictions, and here's to a 2021 with a bit more normality!
 

lots of love

Christine xxx

Hi Christine 

You are like me in so many ways, I too am a darn good and consistent liar and quite inventive with it too.  I mean I'm honest about lying, I tell the boyfriend quite regularly about my lieing prowess, he tells me that he really doesn't want to know...he's far too good and principled for me you know! But that's a lovely thing to do for your kids and so glad you got to see both of them.  Bring on some more, larger wins eh?

Boris has indeed ruined my Christmas plans...what a surprise!  That man is no good at managing expectations, something I tell the boyfriend is very important to me.  We were due to go round to some friends of his (who are very good cooks) for the day and dinner but alas no more...boo!  Not quite sure what we'll do now...I mean even if I was fighting fit I couldn't be bothered with the cooking palaver so the onus is on the poor, ever suffering boyfriend...I'd be quite happy with a pizza just be nice to be out of these (tier) 4 walls for a bit.  Christine your Chinese banquet idea is becoming more appetising as the days pass, late Boris news will no doubt mean that such opportunities have been snapped up but we'll see...

Recovery still doing really well, had the thick bandages off Friday and was told my scars are amongst the best ever seen, love to be teachers pet! The surgeons work is very neat & tidy and barely a scab to be seen. Am still slow and its cumbersome to move but getting quicker and easier every day. Thankfully sleeping better of late and bowels back in good order (nice!).  My father reckons I have his very quick healing genes, that may be so but I reckon my healthy lifestyle is a large contributory factor too.

Good news re knee, how long will the good news  last? Will it need topping up every so often? I think its a good idea to wean self off pain killers, I'm not a fan of drugs per se and made a point of stopping oxycodone soonish in hospital and am now also free of ibuprofen and paracetamol...luckily I have a very high plain threshold anyway so paracetamol does buggar all anyway.  And some of the heavy hitters cause my worst nightmare...constipation!  I think I may be on the lansaprazole too but want to kick that into touch too (not altogether sure what its doing but no energy to be that interested!).

Happy Birthday fluffy Smudge, am hoping Rupert was from Archie too or is Archie going to be giving his pal a special gift? You whatsapp'd a dog...am impressed with Smudge's grasp of technology.  Its taken me 2 weeks and the help of boyfriend and sister in Taiwan to fathom out how to post photos on facebook (for my DIEP group pals to see plastic surgeons fine work & needed to cover up body parts not permitted)....it was a technology challenge too far but finally succeeded.  I put up before and after photos and not one person questioned how the plastic surgeon managed to improve on perfection!! Ha!

Like you my father (who is doing well) gave money to McMillan rather than cards, its actually a blessing as his card includes an annual 'poem' which is always terrible but he thinks is quite good.

Caroline - hope naughty Eddie is good and not marmalising Christmas decorations (like my female cat), I think you're outside tier 4 so hope your plans aren't too affected for the festive period.  I was debating going to see the mother near you Boxing Day but Boris has put paid to that too (probably just as well, saves her cooking and the boyfriend worrying that we've passed on something).  How's your positivity? its crap that all that's going on is battering it and hope that the Christmas announcement hasn't further impacted it, I know how important it is as its carried me through since diagnosis.

Hope your decorations are filling you with festive cheer, I'm loving the extra effort made in my neighbourhood (well apart from some..), my effort is comparable with previous years, don't want to overdo it plus just more for the boyfriend to take down in Jan (see, I'm thoughtful like that...yeah right!!).

Right, have a good festive Chinese with the daughter Christine and Caroline with the family (and maybe others - you lucky lady!) XX

Hi ladies,

Lovely to hear how well you are both doing - knee wise, new boob wise!!! We are tough cookies aren't we!!

Sam, yes we are narrowly avoid being in tier 4 by the skin of our teeth, half a mile up the road are not so lucky. My mum and dad made the decision a while ago, not to come down for Christmas, which I am gutted about but understand. Haven't seen them since New Year. My sister lives in South Wales and was due to come and visit on Boxing Day for the night but that has now been cancelled. I thank my lucky stars that I do have my kids and husband here so not alone. 
Eddie is ok but we had a major scare on Thursday when he had a funny turn. Lost his sense of balance, had the shakes and lost bladder control. Came on very suddenly. So we rushed him to the vets and they suspected sepis/meningitis and told us he was in a very bad way and to prepare for the worst. We had to rush him to a specialist neurologist vets near Winchester, for tests and an MRI. They rushed him in and then came back out 20 min later with a normal looking dog!!! Walking normally, tail wagging! They didn't do an MRI as couldn't see any reason to do so!! And touch wood, since then he has been his normal little *** self!! 
I feel very sad that everyone has had Christmas plans cancelled but I think a quiet Christmas / New Year will be time for us all to appreciate what we have. I feel sad for people who will be alone and whose mental health is going to suffer. I think if you need to break the rules in order to help someone's well being - so be it! My friend's mum has terminal cancer and might not be here next Christmas. I've told my friend to go round to see her - just maybe stay in the garden.

Christine, what a lovely gesture to your kids!! And very crafty!! 
Well, I need to crack on with some housework - so if don't catch up before Christmas, have a lovely, quiet and chilled one. Lots of walks and pj days I reckon. And a peaceful New Year and to hopes we can party again next year!!!

Love Caroline xx

Hi Girls,

Happy New Year to you and yours. I'm working on the belief that it must be better than last year, but actually last year was better than 2019 because that's when we all got cancer!

I hope you had a nIce Christmas and New Year's Eve. It was my birthday yesterday and it was just me and Archie because my daughter was snowed in. I planned a lovely quiet reading day as I am so over the rubbish TV we've had over Christmas. Did I manage that? No! The world and his wife decided to telephone or FaceTime or text me. I felt like I'd been to a party by the time night came. Then my neighbours decided they were going to have drinks at the end of their drive at midnight and put it on our friends and neighbours Messenger group, so People were replying and commenting and making jokes all night. Each time another one replied my iPad would ping, so even though I went to bed at my usual 10 - 10.30, I couldn't get to sleep. Then the fireworks started. Fortunately Archie isn't bothered by them but sleep was totally out of the question for another hour or so. 
My daughter lives in a small village on a quiet, narrow road where houses only line one side opposite a fishing lake. She phoned me about 9.30 to tell me a police car had cruised slowly up and down her street. We laughed our socks off because most of her neighbours are pensioners older than me and they never see a police car from one year to another. I bet the police were cruising all the quiet areas looking for parties they didn't want to find rather than where they would be guaranteed to find someone breaking the rules. I don't blame them but I warned my neighbours that they were about.  That would be the worst end to the worst year, wouldn't it, getting fined for having a drink at the end of your drive!

I have my next checkup on Tuesday. I got the letter yesterday telling me not to go to the hospital, it would be a telephone checkup. Whoopidoo! I am supposed to be going to the gym at the hospital to continue the keep fit course I started last year before lockdown. I suspect I'll be getting a phone call cancelling that, too.  

Sam, I hope you are more comfortable now, and up for your usual active life, and Caroline stay safe, it is harder for you to stay home, I guess, so be really careful. 
 

Love

Christine xxx

Hi Christine and Sam,

Happy New Year!! Your New Years Eve story made me chuckle!! We are in tier 4 here so more or less locked down and then one of the boys tested positive for Covid on the 27th after losing his sense of smell and taste. So we have ended up in isolation!!! We are locked up until the 6th. But it's not been too bad. We have a big garden and a field that we rent at the back, so have been able to walk the dogs daily. We had spent Christmas Day with my in laws and sister in law, so they are also having to isolate. 
We had a lovely New Years Eve. We played on the wii, darts, pool and family fortunes with all the boys, but then I crashed and burned just after midnight. 
Well, let's hope this is the year we can all get back to seeing friends/family and travel again!! I wish you lots of happiness for 2021. 
Have to shoot off, as my sister's birthday is today and we have a zoom quiz to attend!! 
Caroline xx

Hi Caroline,

Sorry to hear you're having to isolate, but at least you're all together. It sounds like you're really making the best of it. Hope no one else tests positive! Enjoy your quiz!

love

Christine xx

Hi and happy new year & all that!!

I'll just be happy to keep my body fairly intact this year and not lose the odd (albeit mainly naughty) bit to the surgeon's scalpel...that said will hopefully be having symmetry surgery to the god given boob at some point but that will be a walk in the park vs ops in 2020.

Christine - glad you had such an eventful new year & Happy Birthday!  Am quite jealous all round of your virtual social life, probably just as well those coppers are patrolling the quiet backwaters around you...ha!

Hope your hospital appointment goes as well as it can and that face-to-face is soon resumed, its so annoying isn't it.  I'm lucky in that I have pretty much a full week of hospital appointments mid Jan which all require me being there in person so get it all over & done with, hopefully no side effects from 2nd bisphosphonate and good school report/sign off from plastic surgeon, suspect will need some physio however and not sure that will be face-to-face but we'll see.

Caroline - glad you're ok with isolation and you have sizeable garden/fields at your disposal, always a big plus of living out of the big city - and something I hanker for..

Hope you haven't got any symptoms, I've got a couple of pals whose kids at school have contracted the lurgi and are now self isolating, its no wonder the covid rates are going through the roof re schools.

All good here, moving better and think I am actually upright now at times though still have an Ozzy Osbourne stance & shuffle after sitting down.  It will be 4 weeks post op on Tuesday and am getting decidedly antsy here...will try some gentle yoga gubbins next week to break the monotony of my daily walk.  I love walking but with the amount of people walking down here who generally have no respect for one another its not as enjoyable as it should be, it would get better when schools return of course but god knows when that will be mmm..I have however, as am a positive and proactive person, invested in some well-sexy gaiters enabling me to walk the REALLY muddy footpaths that others tend to avoid...love it! And only fallen over once ( well it was a very slow slip but did end in quite an impressive muddy ar5e!), no wet socks yet so hurrah.  And as I look so 'interesting' with my gaiters, 20 yr old lavender ski jacket (now with a muddy bum), pink leggings and hair that is now a mash-up between Nicholas Parsons & Jeffrey Howe's spitting image puppet lots of people naturally avoid me...happy days!

So its Dullsville here, I do need to finish a really good book (Mudlarking) as the neighbour who lent me it in July 2019 (you know how long it took me to make my initial cushion cover--these things just can't and shouldn't be rushed!!) is moving house on Thursday...so inconsiderate these good neighbours leaving, he provides me with veg from his allotment, brings my bins in and always stops for a good chin-wag...I'll have to explain my expectations to the new lot early doors to make sure they're fully up to speed in a timely fashion.

Good to see you're both in good spirits, are you both classed as extremely vulnerable by govt?  I am as it was early days post chemo when first list pulled together that the govt doesn't seem to have updated ( I do wonder how they are adding new people to it who are going through chemo & other treatments now), my GP has told me to stay as is given soon after surgery so I now want to join Lionel Blair at the Epsom racecourse vaccination centre...nice to know I'm in good company...

Sam X

Hello both

Just checking in that you're not having too much fun mmm?

All good here, am now upright (hurrah!) and able to stomp around my woodland muddy puddles at quite a pace ( doesn't do my legging much good re mud splatters) and haven't fallen over recently so who can hope for more eh...

Busy week here, out & about every day (get me!), dentist Mon (all clear yay!) in advance of 2nd bisphosphonate later today and blood test for that yesterday.  Then I have first post op appointment with plastic surgeon Thurs, a few questions await him (he's quite used to the interrogation now).

Other than that, surprisingly, not a lot going on...arm exercises still progressing (are you both still doing yours?  I've never stopped since mx) and planning on a gentle bike ride next week (it will be 6 wks post op), that's if the bike is up to it...it was on its last legs the last time I rode it with transition to the gears that you need to get up hills proving challenging, far from ideal in the surrey hills but think it will be some time yet before they are part of my routine.  Been watching loads of TV that I had recorded (just as well as lots of repeats on now - I mean as much as I love Jessica Fletcher...ha!) and lots of gruesome horror films (love em).  I even did a bit of sewing the other day - mending holes in stuff, I really resent throwing stuff away nowadays and buying new stuff...how will the economy cope?

Am loving that the bulbs are really poking through now, I even have alliums that have a lot of leaf growth, hope it doesn't get too cold for the purple bee loving beauties!

 I'm still feigning weakness so the boyfriend is doing many of the household chores...how long can I keep it going this time I wonder?  He's such a worry pants he'll do it forever (the fool!), I told him I'd have a go at driving next week (which I will) and the response was 'I wouldn't, give it another month or so"..ha!  Its not like I actually need to drive anywhere (or have anywhere to go until next zolodex shot mid Feb) just want to check that I can, plus with my memory want to check I can remember how the car (as well as me) works.

Hopefully out of some support gear next week too, think I can stop wearing chest high pants & bra overnight.  It will be odd without them though, I imagine that my body will do a very relaxed Nutty Professor and all the currently bound up flesh will just ooze...now that would be a picture.

How's your lymphodema Christine?  I'm massaging twice a day and in the compression garments 24/7 but would really like it to be gone by summer when short sleeves would be nice as well as fewer layers, particularly when those blummin hot flushes abound...not looking forward to that combo.

Right, hope all is well with you, your hounds and loved ones XX

Hi Girls,

Sam, It's good to know you are up and about again. Crikey, all that having to go out in lockdown.  I'm quite happy to stay home again. Although, having said that, I drove the long way round to my daughter's today - emergency assistance needed - and came back the long way, too, to give my car a bit of a run to give the battery a boost as it hasn't been off the drive for weeks.  We have had snow since before New Year until Tuesday, so I haven't even tried to drive anywhere!  I was needed today, to take a tiny screwdriver round to fix her glasses that had popped a lens while she was cleaning them. She thought she had one but couldn't see to find it. She also needed me to actually screw the side together for the same reason! It was quite funny, after she had FaceTimed me to ask for help she then called again to say, "Do not pass GO, do not collect £200 and do not go anywhere else! ".  She doesn't trust me!  I have used necessary journeys as an excuse to do a bit of shopping on the way, in the past, but I'm a bit more wary this time as the infection rates are getting scary. I was supposed to be going to the hospital Women's fitness class on Monday, and last week I was waiting for a phone call cancelling it, but none came.  In the end I phoned them at nine o'clock on Monday to ask if the class was still going ahead at ten and they said, yes! I asked to be excused! It didn't really seem a sensible thing to do and the physio agreed with me. She said they had been waiting for it to be cancelled, but the hospital is supposed to be a Covid safe environment and it could go ahead.

I haven't bothered with arm exercises since last New Year, I had full movement very early on.  I still do the lymphoedema exercises, though, although I haven't seen any change for months, not much swelling and the ridge that is the scar is so hard it looks like I'm stuck with it. I will be getting some arm exercises to do on my right arm, this week, from a physiotherapist. I was referred after an ultrasound showed arthritis and torn ligaments, unfortunately, it has taken so long to get any treatment,  I think the ligaments have healed themselves, although I still get pain when typing - as in NOW! 

You are being trendy mending clothes. Apparently not buying new clothes is really good for the environment!  I won't need to buy anything new for years, except for leggings and fleeces, as that's all I seem to have worn for the last year. 

Caroline, I am hoping you haven't succumbed to the lurgy and have got back to normal, or what passes for normal these days. My friend has just got a new puppy, having paid an obscene amount of money for him and is now going through the joys of potty training and trying to keep up with him. He's very cute though!   She is exhausted!  Archie is getting better and better as he grows older, I can't say it was worth all the things he destroyed and all the times I had to redecorate etc, but I'm glad I've got him.

My telephone checkup was short and sweet  The nurse just wanted to know if I was still taking the Letrozole. I have another one booked for April.

I hope you get your questions answered, tomorrow, Sam, and you continue to improve at a rate of knots. Don't go too far for your bike ride, you might get fined!!!

Take care, both of you  

Christine x

Hi Girls,

Sam, It's good to know you are up and about again. Crikey, all that having to go out in lockdown.  I'm quite happy to stay home again. Although, having said that, I drove the long way round to my daughter's today - emergency assistance needed - and came back the long way, too, to give my car a bit of a run to give the battery a boost as it hasn't been off the drive for weeks.  We have had snow since before New Year until Tuesday, so I haven't even tried to drive anywhere!  I was needed today, to take a tiny screwdriver round to fix her glasses that had popped a lens while she was cleaning them. She thought she had one but couldn't see to find it. She also needed me to actually screw the side together for the same reason! It was quite funny, after she had FaceTimed me to ask for help she then called again to say, "Do not pass GO, do not collect £200 and do not go anywhere else! ".  She doesn't trust me!  I have used necessary journeys as an excuse to do a bit of shopping on the way, in the past, but I'm a bit more wary this time as the infection rates are getting scary. I was supposed to be going to the hospital Women's fitness class on Monday, and last week I was waiting for a phone call cancelling it, but none came.  In the end I phoned them at nine o'clock on Monday to ask if the class was still going ahead at ten and they said, yes! I asked to be excused! It didn't really seem a sensible thing to do and the physio agreed with me. She said they had been waiting for it to be cancelled, but the hospital is supposed to be a Covid safe environment and it could go ahead.

I haven't bothered with arm exercises since last New Year, I had full movement very early on.  I still do the lymphoedema exercises, though, although I haven't seen any change for months, not much swelling and the ridge that is the scar is so hard it looks like I'm stuck with it. I will be getting some arm exercises to do on my right arm, this week, from a physiotherapist. I was referred after an ultrasound showed arthritis and torn ligaments, unfortunately, it has taken so long to get any treatment,  I think the ligaments have healed themselves, although I still get pain when typing - as in NOW! 

You are being trendy mending clothes. Apparently not buying new clothes is really good for the environment!  I won't need to buy anything new for years, except for leggings and fleeces, as that's all I seem to have worn for the last year. 

Caroline, I am hoping you haven't succumbed to the lurgy and have got back to normal, or what passes for normal these days. My friend has just got a new puppy, having paid an obscene amount of money for him and is now going through the joys of potty training and trying to keep up with him. He's very cute though!   She is exhausted!  Archie is getting better and better as he grows older, I can't say it was worth all the things he destroyed and all the times I had to redecorate etc, but I'm glad I've got him.

My telephone checkup was short and sweet  The nurse just wanted to know if I was still taking the Letrozole. I have another one booked for April.

I hope you get your questions answered, tomorrow, Sam, and you continue to improve at a rate of knots. Don't go too far for your bike ride, you might get fined!!!

Take care, both of you  

Christine x

Hello both

Just checking in.  All good here and quite dull! Think that's reflective of 99% of the poulation though.

Still having some discomfort and get tired at times but otherwise on an upwards trajectory. I've even ( as I do need to have things to look forward to!) signed myself and some pals up for the MacMillan mighty hike (13 miles) in theYorks dales in the summer...how exciting,  Need to start stocking up on blister plasters.

My busy hospital week passed without incident and plastic surgeon happy with his work, now have appointment April for next phase (lift the god-given boob and liposuction my delightful side boob!) so will soon be able to emulate Sam Fox (do they still have page 3 stunnas I wonder?).

I now officially have a Mother no 3 as the father got married last week, a very small affair as I'm sure you can imagine - 5 of them inc registrar.  They had some socially distanced cake & champers are enjoying their honeymoon in the front room under a 60 watt bulb.  The father may be starting immunotherapy, currently having tests & scans, we'll see if a) it happens and b)it agrees with him...time will tell. He's also the first in the family to get his covid jab so is the guinea pig and we have yet to see him turn into a zombie so all is good for me I reckon!  The Southampton mother had been summoned for her jab but reckons 40 mins is too far to travel to get it so will wait...she's odd that one.

I'm really jealous of my overseas sister who is living it up in Taiwan celebrating Chinese New Year...lucky lass!  She dose think it amusing to keep sending me photos of her and her pals living it up - we are not amused.

So the excitement of this week is taking the cats for their annual jabs, its an oft repeated scene where I get told off for them being overweight...this year will be no different unfortunately.  It does mean I have to drive for the first time since op...let's hope I have some memory.

I was going to go for a walk but its chucking it down so will have a rest up instead and watch some rubbish on the TV that doesn't require too much brain power (leaves a lot to choose from).  Still struggling to concentrate on things that require effort, tried reading and had to keep re-reading as was missing the story....think I've actually lost the plot!

Hope you've got your covid calling Christine, the north is doing a good job of being better organised judging by the fact that all my pals parents >80 have now had 1st and are about to have 2nd jab. Glad to see you're there to assist daughter in her spectacle hour of need!

Chrsitine - hope all is well if not a tad dull eh and hope that work is behaving.

Sam X

Hi Sam,

Glad to hear you are doing ok.  I am in awe of you going through all the extra surgery after everything else. I can totally relate to your tiredness, I slept for almost 8 hours last night and still dozed off this morning. If I'm not actually doing something physical, I just fall asleep, that's whether watching Tv, which seems to be particularly soporific during lockdown, or trying to read. I have deleted the News app off all my devices, as I used to spend all day reading about stupid stuff I hated. Once Trump had gone, I thought that would be the last I heard of him but NO!  They were still writing about him every day, so that was it. No reading my phone, find something else to do.  The trouble is, once I've done the essentials, such as cooking, cleaning, dog walking, I have no inclination to do anything else. To be honest I don't do much of the first two. Yesterday I lived on granola bars, fruit and liquorice. I didn't feel hungry so didn't bother with anything else. I drink my coffee with loads of milk, so I'm getting nourishment. Some days I go mad and cook for a family of four, and I do get fed up of the same meal by the fourth day!

My daughter puts ithe sleepiness down to the Amitryptaline I'm taking for my painful knee but there's no way I'm giving it up, I love sleeping all night, it's quite a novelty still. The knee used to have fun by spiking at three am, waking me up, never to sleep again. I put the sleepiness down to boredom.  I haven't even been inspired to paint since Christmas.

I hope the immunotherapy works for your father. I read daily blogs on here from someone whose husband is doing quite well on it. Making an honest woman of his partner at last eh?  Good on them!

I go for my vaccination tomorrow.  It is so exciting to be going out somewhere - anywhere!  I actually took the car out for petrol last week, it was running really low, not having been filled for months. I decided to take it to Sainsbury's at the end of the motorway- much to my daughter's dismay, but it needed a run and I wanted to be sure I could remember how to drive. I had to promise to wear disposable gloves, pay at the pump and come straight home, without speaking to anyone. Tyrant!  She knows that I will pop in the supermarket tomorrow as I have to pass right by it, so I'm under orders to wear a mask and a see through face covering. A friend who has already had her jab said they give you a mask as you sign in, so I don't know how much armour I'll be wearing in the end.

I think it has stopped raining so I will soon be going out to feed the birds, they are fighting over the crumbs. It was too slippery under foot yesterday, after yet more snow, to refill the feeders before they were completely empty and they are literally fighting over the remnants. The fact that every other garden on the street has bird feeders seems to have gone unnoticed.

Dont go mad with your exercise, your body needs time to recover from the thrashing it's had. Keep the boyfriend busy, you need the rest and recouperation. 

Take care, 

love

Christine xx

Hi Caroline, hope you are ok, too. xxx

Hi Ladies,

Have to say I felt a slight pang of anxiety when I saw one of you had written something - almost as though I was expected bad news so was very thankful to hear you are both doing well. Although Christine, you do sound quite low at the moment :neutral. 
I think we are all struggling a lot more this lockdown than the other 2. It just feels as thought it is never going to end, doesn't it. 
I have had my vaccine, a few weeks ago. I had the Pfizer one, through work. No side effects other than a sore arm. 
Work is very busy and I am helping out a lot more, with the bereavement team.

We have also gained a family member as my niece has come to live with us. She is 18 and lives up in County Durham but had a falling out with dad and his partner back in Dec. She's been staying in someone's spare room but has been struggling with her mental health, so we drove up to Darlington, to pick her up the other week. She has good and bad days but seems to be getting more good than bad as time goes on. Her mum was my sister, who died of breast cancer at the age of 32. My niece was only 2 years old so doesn't remember her mum but has always craved a mother figure but her dad seems to have a way of picking the most unmaternal females going. My sister left 3 children behind and they have had a tough life, which breaks my heart but hopefully I can try and makes things a bit better for my youngest niece. 
Well, I am off to go and do a 30 min fitness online class, in my utility room - i am missing going to the gym!! 
Take care, both of you. And Christine, sort that diet out!! Try to do some new types of cooking/meals or bake a cake - nothing beats a crap day more than a cuppa and piece of cake. I hope your mojo comes back soon.

Caroline xx

Hi Caroline, 

Thank you for caring, but I don't believe the odd day of eating rubbish will kill me.  I am usually a very healthy eater but my stocks were low because I didn't order online groceries as I planned to shop personally today. I did, too! So now my fridge is full, my cupboard is stocked up and the poor little freezer is groaning it's so full.   I'll still cook too much, never got out of the habit of cooking for four. Chicken and vegetable stir fry tonight (and tomorrow and tomorrow etc) 

I am sure your niece will thrive now she's in your care.  She's a lucky girl to have an aunt who cares.  I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I can only imagine how you felt when you also got breast cancer! 

I had the Oxford vaccine, which I was quite happy with, despite the rumours about it not working on over 65's.  I watched the programme on TV about the making of it and was impressed. There had been reports of three hour queues at my vaccination centre so I was a bit worried about standing around in the cold, so I wore lots of  layers and my warmest coat and then the flipping queues were minimal. The whole process was very well organised, and there seemed to be more volunteers than recipients.  I had divested myself of coat and top fleece even before I reached the bay for my jab as I was roasting! On the way out I wasn't alone in struggling to get into my big coat before going back out in the cold. Then, joy of joys I went to the supermarket and stocked up on all the things I forget when ordering food online!

I will get my mojo back as soon as it's warm enough to do things out of doors again and the news becomes less boring.  I stopped enjoying snow the first year we came back to live in UK from Saudi Arabia and got snowed in for a week.  There have been some days when even Archie hasn't wanted to go out, and others when it wasn't safe to do so. I believe it is forecast again later in the week .  :(  

In the meantime I shall continue to watch rubbish telly and fall asleep while trying to read a book!

It could be worse! As the lamented and amazing Captain Sir Tom said " Tomorrow will be a good day,!"

Enjoy getting to know what 18 year old girls do, these days, I wonder,  have the boys changed in any way since being at such close quarters with a young female. I had an Ex, once, whose taste in women was totally influenced by his slightly older girl cousin, who stayed with his family for a summer when he was obviously at an impressionable age!  Of course I didn't find this out until I met said cousin many years later and saw she could have been my twin! He was already an Ex by then!

Dont work too hard, 

Love

Christine xxx

Hi Christine,

I glad to hear your fridge and freezer are full. I'm one to talk as if I lived on my own I would just live on tinned soup and toast!!!

The boys have been really good accepting my niece. She's not a typical 18 yr old girl. She is a very big girl, who is gay and dresses in boys clothes most of the time. She did have lovely long hair for years but shaved it all off a few years ago and often gets mistaken for a boy.

Good to hear you've had your vaccine. My mum and dad have now both had theirs too, which is a relief. Hopefully I well get to see them this year. They have very high expectations of this year getting back to normal and have booked a cruise for July! I did ask if they are covered in case it doesn't happen. They said they needed something to look forward to, which I can appreciate.

Weve only had a little snow down here, which is a downside of living in the south as I love it. Just lots of rain, which makes for wet and muddy dog walks.

Take care. Sending hugs.

Caroline xx
 

Oh dear,  That poor girl!  I'm so glad she has you to help her through this awful time. Being 18 is bad enough for our emotional health, everything is so extreme with the old hormones running riot, without having extra problems associated with her sad childhood. Bless her, I hope she blossoms under your loving care and finds a lovely girlfriend to boost her confidence.

Christine. xxx

Hi ladies
Hope we're all doing well, I am now but was absolutely pants last week after my covid shot..odd as I had side effects mild on cancer treatment but I'm so glad have obviously never had covid as what I had was quite unwelcome! All the parents have now had first jab which is good.

I have to say Caroline your niece sounds like a young version of my sister, she's somewhere in the LTBQ arena (not 100% sure myself to be honest!) and is a big girl.  She was so small and scrawny growing up (meaning I could always beat her in a fight) and then mid teens suddenly grew upwards and outwards- I'm 5'6 on a good day and she's over 6 feet, she's also quite wide leading the lovely blunt Taiwanese to regularly ask her 'why are you so fat?"!! She also had ridiculously long hair (down past her bum) and once managed to smuggle builders nails on board a plane as they were holding up her bun (thankfully she decided against taking over the aircraft!). She's very happy over there though and I hope your niece also finds her place in the world, she's lucky to have your family to support her when needed and hope its bringing a bit of change and joy to your life too.

Christine - I hope you've been managing to get out ok a bit more now the weather has improved.  My mother down south had her shot Monday and has promised to actually leave the house and go for walks - she hadn't left the house apart from to put bins out for months!  And she had a new hip not so long ago and they don't benefit from doing nothing.  I hope your vaccination was an 'occassion', I did consider really dressing up for it but then couldn't be bothered as it was raining so much!  Wellies & dress not the look I was aiming for.

I hope you're both enjoying seeing the lovely spring bulbs coming up, think I spied a dwarf iris in the front garden (they're my favourite) and will be out later post shower to examine further, daffs next I reckon.

Did you have pancakes last week?  I love them but its just too much faff for one so had gnocchi instead (sort of smaller, potato pancakes mmm?).  My family sent round their pictures just to rub it in my face, well apart from the Taiwan contingent who are still celebrating New Year (seems to go on for months - that's what you get for no Christmas I guess!) - and are sooo physically lose to one another, lucky them.

Feeling so much better overall and ready for the start of proper abdominal exercises soon - the return of the 6 pack! Yeah right....aim for a 1 pack maybe!  And happy to report have not fallen off the new bike yet.
Hope you're both happy with what Boris had to say, I am as it fits in with my plans! normal service at my gym is priority to give the poor woods near me a much needed rest (the paths are too well trodden and muddy).  Did I mention am doing a McMillan Mighty Hike early July in Yorkshire dales with 5 other idiots (team 'Impressive T1ts' - not that the others in the team had any choice in the name!!), I need some hills in my life for practice - its very flat where I am.   After the hike am dog-sitting near Halifax for the northern mother so seeing lots of pals up there and as the walk is near my father's will be seeing him too (he finds out of immunotherapy is an option this week to prolong his time). Getting quite tired of the same scenery here...done all the walks/bike rides in the locality and am looking forward to going further afield (maybe the next but one county!!)
My challenge for this week is to track down a brand of letrozole that I haven't tried yet as the current brand has now stopped being produced (great!) so hopefully will be able to find another that only has mild side effects - the first 2 I tried were less than ideal.
Right better get on and get ready to do some work!
XX

 

Hi Sam, (and Caroline)

I am really glad to hear from you - it seems a while and I was beginning to wonder if you were ok, as you have had a lot going on.  I smiled when I read about your reaction to the Covid jab, as when I wrote about having my jab, it was only a few hours after I'd had it and I felt fine, didn't feel the needle, not a mark on my arm,  certainly no pain in my arm. That was mid afternoon, when I wrote that. At 8.30 that evening, exactly ten hours to the minute from getting the jab I started reacting. It was hell for the next 18 hours, then as fast as it came, it stopped. I felt like I'd done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and my temp spiked at 102, accompanied by uncontrollable shivering, pounding headache and aches in every muscle. Does that sound familiar? Thank goodness it only lasted 18 hours for me. My next door neighbour had her jab in the late afternoon so she didn't start feeling ill until the next day and she felt bad for two whole days. It's good that our immune systems were ready for the fight, but I'm not looking forward to the second dose.

I'm still having to fight my daughter if I want to go out shopping. I needed milk, she gave me three litres so I stayed home. When that was gone I said I needed to go out and she argued with me for half an hour, threatening to text her brother. For some reason she thinks I take more notice of him. I won, in the end, but had to promise to go only to one store for essentials. I was telling my son today and he said she did text him but he didn't know what he could do from 200 miles away so he ignored it. Then he started asking why I couldn't just get everything delivered, as I said I needed to go and get some things personally.  When he pushed it I played my ace card and embarrassed him by saying there are some intimate things I was not going to talk to him about. Perfect!  He soon backed off! Victory for me! Unfortunately I can't get away with that with my daughter!

It is lovely to see the signs of Spring. We had one day last week that was so pleasant that I actually went into the front garden to clear away some of the winter debris that I should have cleared before the winter set in. It was lovely to find new growth peeping up from under the dead stems and leaves of my summer perennials. I cleared all the beds in the back garden months ago and planted a big bag of daffodils in troughs and pots. I found some polystyrene sheets that I wrapped round the largest trough to keep them warm and they are now twice as tall as the others. If I can remember, I'll get some fleece for all of them next year as I feel guilty that the others got so cold that their growth has been stunted! 

I did make pancakes last week! It's easy Peasy. I just whisked an egg with some melted butter, a slurp of milk and a couple of spoonful of flour. I got four quite large pancakes out of that, just added sugar and lemon and that was tea!  They were good, too.  I know the cookbooks say you should rest the batter for hours etc but there's no need. 

I laughed at your description of those tiny Taiwanese fat shaming your sister. I had a similar experience in Singapore, I was shopping for clothes and saw something I liked and asked if there was one in my size. The midget assistant looked me up and down and said 'No largee largee!" I was young and slim then, too. 5ft 7in and size 12!  

I also thought Boris seems to have finally got it right this time. I feel the five week intervals between steps to freedom is wise. My daughter is desperate for the swimming pool on her street to open again. She had really got into her early morning swims and she was doing so well, health wise. Since the latest lockdown she seems to be developing more symptoms of her ME and she has been quite poorly. She got the ME after getting glandular fever about eight years ago, so I imagine that those people suffering from long Covid must be suffering similar symptoms. It was just called post viral fatigue when she first started with it then when it went on and on she was tested for everything under the sun until they came up with ME!  
I'm glad to hear you haven't broken your bike, and I'm most impressed by your mighty hike plans. There's no shortage of hills round here, you would be able to practice to your heart's content. Archie turns his nose up at them if he thinks they are too steep for his little legs. 
What side effects are you getting from the Letrozole? I just get what the pharmacy sends, I noticed the last lot were a different make from previously but they didn't seem to cause more or less side effects. After all the fuss I made in the beginning, I'm ashamed to say that they don't bother me much. I get hot flushes a few times a day but they don't last long and if they are causing more aches and pains I don't notice because I have succumbed to a regime of taking pain killers for my knee. 

I'm surprised that I have written so much as I feel I have nothing to say with lockdown, no news, no gossip, just boredom. I must start painting again. I haven't done any since Christmas and I've just received my Christmas present from my sister in California- wishing me a happy birthday (New Year's Eve) if the parcel didn't get here for Christmas!  I thought it had been lost in the post but no,  it was posted on February 18th by her son, who found it in his garage after his parents had finally gone to their retirement home in Belize! 

I hope all is well at yours, Caroline and you are not working too hard. 

Stay safe, 

Lots of love 

Christine xxx
 

Hello ladies

Just checking in that all is rosy on this lovely(ish) (now) spring day. Today I will be bringing a very unruly Passion flower plant that attacks people as they walk past my front garden under pruning control as well as the rose bush that makes me feel like sleeping beauty as it stops everyone getting down the path to my house unscathed, yep its a gardening day.  Sounds like you've done all your spring garden chores early doors Christine, I'm always a little late to the party (and thank the lack of garden waste bin emptying around me!).

My training for the MacMillan hike is going well, my dodgy toenail has not yet fallen off and my legs are still working so all good in that respect, and seem to have successfully changed letrozole manufacturers to one that also suits generally so not moving like a 90+ yr old on a morning though the hot flushes are even more impressive since the change...yay!  Am thinking that maybe it wasn't the 'fault' of the first two manufacturers I tried, it could have just been a settling in period?

On for my 2nd covid shot at end of April which means I'll be able to run amok mid-May, beware Surrey...the boyfriend had his without incident which was amazing given he's needle phobic and the biggest hypochondriac ever.

On for seeing the Southampton mother for Easter weekend, in the garden, don't think I've seen her since September...I wish she was more like Christine and was eager to get out & about, she's not left her house/garden for months...she believes that its like rush hour Oxford Street in the small, New Forest, village she lives in!

I've also completed a jigsaw, so addictive!  It was a really challenging one ...Van Gogh's starry night, and I didn't cheat either! The main challenge that the more annoying of the cats wanted to help (amazingly she didn't eat any of the pieces).

So got my hair booked for the Saturday after opening, looking like a cross between Boris J and Vera is not a good look on me, I watch that 10 years younger programme and can now see from personal experience how ageing an 'interesting' hairstyle can age one.

Any painting yet Christine? I'm thinking about phase 2 of painting the kitchen (did the units, walls need doing now)...it will be a long term project, just for a change..

Caroline - hope your niece is settling in well and the keep fit in the gym/utility room is going well, I'm just impressed I haven't fallen off the new bike yet (it will happen, hopefully in some nice comfy mud).

Hope you're both out in some fresh air this weekend XX

Hey ladies, 

lovely to hear how well you are both doing. All going ok here. Niece has settled ok. Now on antidepressants which seem to be working but we still have up and down days. I've also got her a volunteer job 3 days a week in a local primary school. Hopefully it will give her a purpose, get her out meeting people and means she isn't home alone all week while we are all at work. It's been hard work and I find it exhausting. 
Healthwise - been absolutely fine. Didn't really think about cancer at all until the last week or so. Had a couple of patients at work who had breast cancer that had come back after many years and then I noticed a pain in my ribs and started fretting about it as couldn't think of anything I'd done to make my ribs hurt.  Brain went into overdrive. Called the breast nurse on Thursday and she called me back yesterday. I told her it was probably nothing and just me worrying over nothing - I was probably making them sore as I keep poking them to see if they are sore!! Anyway she has booked me an appointment to see the breast cancer nurse specialist on the 1st April. I am thinking that I may cancel if my sore ribs have improved as I will feel like a fraud!! I've probably pulled something with my utility room exercise classes!! I thought I'd parked this so feel annoyed with myself for worrying over something that is more than likely nothing.

But other than that, everything is ticking along. Work is changing as the Covid cases drop. I have my second jab on the 31st March. Puppy is now nearly 8 months old and just had a 'welfare' haircut due to it being so long it was affecting his sight but he wouldn't allow us to do it. Looks like a different dog! We've been doing some dog training over Zoom and he's proved he's a quick learner when treats are involved! I have got my hair appointment booked in for the 13th. Having short hair that needs cutting every 5 weeks hasn't proved a positive during lockdown!! I look like a shaggy sheep!!! 
I have also decided to grow some plants!! I bought some packets of seeds and am attempting to grow them. I'm really not green fingered so will see how it goes!!

Anyway, hope you are both doing well and hopefully life will improve as the time moves on!!

Caroline xx