Hi BigJean,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry for the reason you've joined. I hope that your results on Tuesday can help to put your mind at rest. Even if the news is not so good, it helps to know what the next moves are and puts a more positive slant on things.

I suspect that the pain in your back is consequential to your diagnosis. We always seem to think the worst and develop all sorts of additional symptoms. In most cases this seems to be due to stress.

I have lost my mum to breast cancer and, have had 2 bouts myself within the past 9 years. Waiting for results is always one of the most stressful times of a cancer journey. Try to keep yourself distracted by other pursuits and do your best to stay away from Google. The fact that you are healthy and have never smoked, should stand you in good stead with any treatment needed.

Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on on Tuesday. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine ,

thank you for your kind words . I’m so sorry you lost your mum and you going through it twice . I am not going to let it get me down just back from a big walk with my family and I feel great . That’s the weird thing I don’t feel sick at all . 

I’ll let you know how I get on on Tuesday but I am ready to fight 

talk soon xx

Hi Jolamine

thank you for replying - it’s good to hear from you & to hear of your inspirational journey knowing you’re having a fulfilling life. This can happen to anyone can’t it - it’s so important to cherish what we have and are able to do whether or not we have a diagnosis. It’s certainly got me to evaluate what’s important in my life & to realise that long hours working don’t enable me to spend the time that I want with Steve. That has already changed & will continue to do so. 

Yes he comes to all my appointments with me and clarifies & asks the doctors lots of questions for me as I find myself mute most of the time, ruminating on something they have said that I’ve picked up on and start to pick apart to find a catastrophic journey with. And you’re right about keeping the communication channels open between us. I’m hoping that he does with me although I know he’s trying to be as positive as possible (& is doing a wonderful job) We both have some amazing friends and I know they’re looking out for Steve too. 

My cancer is a grade 2 apparently. I’m not usually so thick but some of the terminology is baffling me at the moment as I’m not used to it. I’ve understood that it’s fed by oestrogen so will be on oestrogen blocking medication as part of my treatment plan when the lymph nodes have been removed. I don’t know any more about the plan yet tho until the lymph nodes have been examined & I'm desperately trying not to analyse every twinge or imperfection and relate it to a spread.

Thank you, & everyone, for your support. I hope to be as supportive back to you as soon as I can. 

Sleep well soon

Helen xx

hi don't be daft I'm a coward no one likes an operation but when they give you the premed it calms you as you know and you will feel like you have only been asleep 5 minutes that's what my second operation was like yes you can buy stickers or the tin I could not put it in the basket for some reason but I will call them once I get my treatment I hope you are more relaxed I'm sure you will be fine lorraine xx

Hi Jolamine, 

thank you for your kind words. It’s great being home . Still not sleeping great but can cope with that . Hopefully the drain will be out on Friday. 

Hope you are keeping well and your son is recovering well also 

Kindest Regards 

j xx

Hi Lorraine 

yes, that was my experience for the lumpectomy I had a couple of weeks ago. The anaesthetist was lovely - asked me what gin was my favourite as I drifted off! I spent a while sleeping as I understand they gave me morphine but mercifully I wasn’t sick (another one of my fears on the long list) so whatever combination they gave me really worked.

wishing you a good & positive day today

Helen xx

hi warrior yes the antithesis are good asked me what's your happy place answered in my garden said what kind of flowers was out I never answered lol it's great you have replied and messaged everyone on here so supportive jolamine is so supportive she is waiting on a test big jean lovely too they are brave had a bigger operation than myself yet they take to message you I hope your feeling calmer Lorraine xx

Hello Lorraine 

Yes everyone is so kind on here - yourself included. It really makes you have faith in humankind to see that despite having battles of their own, people can still take the time to be so supportive to others.

I hope you’re still enjoying your garden despite the weather getting a bit colder now. It’s the simple things in life that don’t cost a fortune that are the most important when it all boils down to it isn’t it?

Take care

Helen xx

hi warrior well I'm on my own got divorced met my second partner 15 years ago he died I got on perfect with him sadly he had heart failure my mum is 80 in early dementia when I can't go and see her i call her every day to say I'm coming down etc or meet at her bus stop I go into town once a week with mum do her shopping she has her wee chihuahua she got a clip board you wipe gp appointment etc her pills in a pill dispenser 7 days marked mon to sun so she knows she's taken them I only allowed my mum once up to hospital when I was first diagnosed she was shaking as she has hardening of the arteries in her head arthritis she's not able I had to get a porter to take her along with me when I knew I was getting second operation my sister in st.andrews took her for a week to keep her calm my mum and I are close up to now she's coping but very forgetful and she had a good neighbour too which makes all the difference my breast is still tender bruised inside but if it's not raining this Sunday cut some dead shrubs down I have white heather seeded roses fern tree weeping willow tree daisies lots of different shrubs I can't spell lol but it's beautiful spring summer I'm glad you like the site it's been a god send for me too lorraine xx

Oh my goodness Lorraine. You have known some sadness in your life - I’m so sorry, but you are clearly a warrior too and am sure a godsend to your mum. I do hope she is ok too - it sounds as though she has support around her too which is so important, and she’ll know too that you’re supporting her in the ways that you’re able to at the moment.

Your garden sounds beautiful- and you sound too as tho you know what you’re doing in it. I’m really glad it gives you so much pleasure & that you can enjoy it next spring & summer when it’s at its best. I hope you get good weather on Sunday. Xx

ty my sister has a 3 bedroom house in st.andrews all her family drive as I'm not seeing treatment doctors until the 18th of November my niece is taking myself and mum for 10 days I cleaned all the house washing up to date etc case packed think it's just what I need mum too I will do garden when I come back yes love working in my garden think once you reach 40 no more discos lol bars you get a hobby I feel alone at times but yet I like being on my own now can do what I like miss Tom every day but I have very good memories of him just want like you to be health6 I'm 58 but looking at your photo your only 40s nice photo I hope all goes well for you email you when I come back not talking my iPad arthritis in fingers would break it lol but you can chat to your friends you made good luck next week you will be fine take care lorraine xx

Hi Helen,

I'm glad to hear that Steve accompanies you to all of your appointments and, asks most of the pertinent questions. Many of us also find it helpful to write down questions before each appointment. Both you and Steve could draw them up together. This ensures that you don't forget to ask important questions.

I used to go armed with two copies of the questions - one for myself and one for hubby. As I asked the questions he wrote down the answers. It's a well known fact that we only manage to retain a small amount of information from any consultation and, it's all too easy to come out not sure of what has been said. The consultants are quite used to this.

I am glad to hear that you have already begun to re-evaluate the important things in life and, that you  have friends who are looking out for both of you.

It is always difficult getting to grips with the terminology. If we can help in any way, you only have to ask. Don't be afraid of asking your consultant anything you don't understand. Sometimes they get so used to dealing with cancer routinely, that they can forget that it is all new to you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Helen,

I'm glad to hear that Steve accompanies you to all of your appointments and, asks most of the pertinent questions. Many of us also find it helpful to write down questions before each appointment. Both you and Steve could draw them up together. This ensures that you don't forget to ask important questions.

I used to go armed with two copies of the questions - one for myself and one for hubby. As I asked the questions he wrote down the answers. It's a well known fact that we only manage to retain a small amount of information from any consultation and, it's all too easy to come out not sure of what has been said. The consultants are quite used to this.

I am glad to hear that you have already begun to re-evaluate the important things in life and, that you  have friends who are looking out for both of you.

It is always difficult getting to grips with the terminology. If we can help in any way, you only have to ask. Don't be afraid of asking your consultant anything you don't understand. Sometimes they get so used to dealing with cancer routinely, that they can forget that it is all new to you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you Jolamine, this is really good advice. I think at the moment it’s the consultations that I fear over everything else, expecting bad news to be given each time. I know I have to try to be positive & not think like this, but it’s almost like a preparation I feel is necessary. To cut out this train of thought is a work in progress & one that I’m working hard on every day, with Steve’s continuing support. 

The consultants & the nurses we’ve seen have all, without exception, been fantastic. It’s reassuring in a way though that they have seen this before so many times. I don’t feel that they are minimising our experience by doing that, as they’re certainly not dismissive. Their clinical skills are essential, obviously, but the emotional understanding they have, and what I have found on this forum too, are invaluable. 

Thank you so much for your support. I do hope things are ok for you. I’m not knowledgeable enough yet I don’t think to reciprocate the advice you’ve given me, but if there is any support I can offer you, please just say. Xx

Hi Helen,

It is virtually impossible not to feel overcome by fear at this stage. You will feel much more positive once you get your operation behind you and, find out exactly what you are up against. It is so much easier to feel better once you know where you are going and how you are going to treat it.

It makes such a difference when you have a good care team behind you. My mum had breast cancer too. She had it for 12 years, before she was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in her brain, bones, liver and lungs. She died 21 years ago. At that time there was virtually no aftercare and no organisations to deal with all of the associated emotional problems. When I was first diagnosed 10 years ago, I was amazed by how this had all changed. There is just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and after care that she received and that which I have experienced. The good news now is that more people are living with cancer than dying with it. Who knows what research will come up with in another few years?

As you travel further down the line, you will find other organisations which run courses to help you to deal with your diagnosis. There is a wealth of support out there. You just have to know where to find it.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi

I'm the same, I prepare myself for bad news every time. I'm convinced they will say it's spread even though I've had all the scans to say it hasn't'! Even when they give me positive news I can't believe them, which is where my hubby comes In. He reminds me to take the positives and deal with each day as it happens, and the kids do the same they live in the moment which acts as a good reminder. 
WL

Hi Jolamine

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum’s experience. That must have been so difficult for her, as well as you. It’s really no wonder why the diagnosis of cancer is still so terrifying for anyone to have when there are those experiences before the advancements that have now been made, isn’t it. I guess really we are still in the pioneering days of being able to feel confident that things will be ok.

I saw the breast care nurse yesterday who was able to calm my racing mind a little, so each day is getting a bit easier again. 

I hope you’re doing ok

Best wishes

Helen xx

Hi Woollylamb

I’m sorry to hear you experience the same anxiety, although I’m learning that this is the same for virtually everyone, so hopefully with us all being in the same boat in that respect, we can gain collective comfort. There are enough people around us all to reassure us that it’s our imaginations following a trauma, rather than what is actually being said to us. It’s important to remind ourselves that the care team know what they’re doing & that they see so many people on this journey, & that most now go onwards to have great & fulfilling lives with clearer focus on the important things in life.

I’m praying to the wound goddess for you that your wound heals soon from your drain & to the results goddess for reassuring results for you.

Best wishes

Helen xx

Hi Helen,

It's hard to believe that there was only 10 years between the treatments that my mum and I had, yet they were so totally different.

I'm glad that your visit to see the breast care nurse yesterday went well and, that she was able to calm you a little.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx