Hi BigJean,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry for the reason you've joined. I hope that your results on Tuesday can help to put your mind at rest. Even if the news is not so good, it helps to know what the next moves are and puts a more positive slant on things.

I suspect that the pain in your back is consequential to your diagnosis. We always seem to think the worst and develop all sorts of additional symptoms. In most cases this seems to be due to stress.

I have lost my mum to breast cancer and, have had 2 bouts myself within the past 9 years. Waiting for results is always one of the most stressful times of a cancer journey. Try to keep yourself distracted by other pursuits and do your best to stay away from Google. The fact that you are healthy and have never smoked, should stand you in good stead with any treatment needed.

Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on on Tuesday. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine ,

thank you for your kind words . I’m so sorry you lost your mum and you going through it twice . I am not going to let it get me down just back from a big walk with my family and I feel great . That’s the weird thing I don’t feel sick at all . 

I’ll let you know how I get on on Tuesday but I am ready to fight 

talk soon xx

Hi BigJean,

It's great that you are doing so well. I hope that you get your drain out if possible, tomorrow.

I'm glad to see that you are enjoying being back home - there really is no place like it!

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Helen,

Of course it is ok to join us all, although I'm sorry to hear of the reason you've joined for You will be relieved to have your lumpectomy behind you, but what a pity that they have to go in again to remove your lymph nodes. At least your margins are clear, which is good news.

This is one of the scariest parts of your cancer journey. There are so many unknowns. It is not at all unusual for your mind to go into overdrive and for you to think the worst.

Cancer doesn't just affect the individual with cancer, it affects the entire family. You are fortunate to have such good support in Steve. Try to keep all communication chanels open between both of you. This will help you both. Does he attend your appointments at the breast clinic with you? It is always useful if he can, particularly when you are going for the results of any tests.

It is good news that your cancer is HER-. Do you know what grade or type of breast cancer you have?

When I was first diagnosed 10 years ago, my mind raced ahead of me too. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 10 years and, have had a lumpectomy and a double mastectomy. I certainly never expected to be here still and living a fulfilling life.

I sincerely hope that all goes well for you on Thursday. Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Woolylamb

I hope that you managed to get rid of your drain and wires yesterday and that you are feeling a little more comfortable without them.
Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Woollylamb

good to hear from you - thank you for replying. Sorry tho it’s in the middle of the night - I hope you can get back to sleep soon too. 

Isn't it great to have such wonderful support around us? This forum is incredible and we are very lucky too to have such amazing families. I hope too that yours have support from around you as I have been very lucky to have for Steve. Our friends have really rallied around. 

Yes, the what ifs can be crippling can’t they? I’m reassured that I can see from previous threads that this can be the worst part of the journey. I can see that one of the things that is promoted is to take it one step at a time. The poor doctor I saw yesterday did well not to be pushed into a corner by me going down the what if route to the most catastrophic outcome. This must be one of the most challenging parts of their job!

Here’s to our fit & healthy 2020 tho, and for your adventurous family activities! 

Have a good sleep soon! 

Helen xx

Hi Jolamine

thank you for replying - it’s good to hear from you & to hear of your inspirational journey knowing you’re having a fulfilling life. This can happen to anyone can’t it - it’s so important to cherish what we have and are able to do whether or not we have a diagnosis. It’s certainly got me to evaluate what’s important in my life & to realise that long hours working don’t enable me to spend the time that I want with Steve. That has already changed & will continue to do so. 

Yes he comes to all my appointments with me and clarifies & asks the doctors lots of questions for me as I find myself mute most of the time, ruminating on something they have said that I’ve picked up on and start to pick apart to find a catastrophic journey with. And you’re right about keeping the communication channels open between us. I’m hoping that he does with me although I know he’s trying to be as positive as possible (& is doing a wonderful job) We both have some amazing friends and I know they’re looking out for Steve too. 

My cancer is a grade 2 apparently. I’m not usually so thick but some of the terminology is baffling me at the moment as I’m not used to it. I’ve understood that it’s fed by oestrogen so will be on oestrogen blocking medication as part of my treatment plan when the lymph nodes have been removed. I don’t know any more about the plan yet tho until the lymph nodes have been examined & I'm desperately trying not to analyse every twinge or imperfection and relate it to a spread.

Thank you, & everyone, for your support. I hope to be as supportive back to you as soon as I can. 

Sleep well soon

Helen xx

hi don't be daft I'm a coward no one likes an operation but when they give you the premed it calms you as you know and you will feel like you have only been asleep 5 minutes that's what my second operation was like yes you can buy stickers or the tin I could not put it in the basket for some reason but I will call them once I get my treatment I hope you are more relaxed I'm sure you will be fine lorraine xx

Hi Jolamine, 

thank you for your kind words. It’s great being home . Still not sleeping great but can cope with that . Hopefully the drain will be out on Friday. 

Hope you are keeping well and your son is recovering well also 

Kindest Regards 

j xx

Hi Lorraine 

yes, that was my experience for the lumpectomy I had a couple of weeks ago. The anaesthetist was lovely - asked me what gin was my favourite as I drifted off! I spent a while sleeping as I understand they gave me morphine but mercifully I wasn’t sick (another one of my fears on the long list) so whatever combination they gave me really worked.

wishing you a good & positive day today

Helen xx

hi warrior yes the antithesis are good asked me what's your happy place answered in my garden said what kind of flowers was out I never answered lol it's great you have replied and messaged everyone on here so supportive jolamine is so supportive she is waiting on a test big jean lovely too they are brave had a bigger operation than myself yet they take to message you I hope your feeling calmer Lorraine xx

Hello Lorraine 

Yes everyone is so kind on here - yourself included. It really makes you have faith in humankind to see that despite having battles of their own, people can still take the time to be so supportive to others.

I hope you’re still enjoying your garden despite the weather getting a bit colder now. It’s the simple things in life that don’t cost a fortune that are the most important when it all boils down to it isn’t it?

Take care

Helen xx

Hello Lorraine 

Yes everyone is so kind on here - yourself included. It really makes you have faith in humankind to see that despite having battles of their own, people can still take the time to be so supportive to others.

I hope you’re still enjoying your garden despite the weather getting a bit colder now. It’s the simple things in life that don’t cost a fortune that are the most important when it all boils down to it isn’t it?

Take care

Helen xx

hi warrior well I'm on my own got divorced met my second partner 15 years ago he died I got on perfect with him sadly he had heart failure my mum is 80 in early dementia when I can't go and see her i call her every day to say I'm coming down etc or meet at her bus stop I go into town once a week with mum do her shopping she has her wee chihuahua she got a clip board you wipe gp appointment etc her pills in a pill dispenser 7 days marked mon to sun so she knows she's taken them I only allowed my mum once up to hospital when I was first diagnosed she was shaking as she has hardening of the arteries in her head arthritis she's not able I had to get a porter to take her along with me when I knew I was getting second operation my sister in st.andrews took her for a week to keep her calm my mum and I are close up to now she's coping but very forgetful and she had a good neighbour too which makes all the difference my breast is still tender bruised inside but if it's not raining this Sunday cut some dead shrubs down I have white heather seeded roses fern tree weeping willow tree daisies lots of different shrubs I can't spell lol but it's beautiful spring summer I'm glad you like the site it's been a god send for me too lorraine xx

Oh my goodness Lorraine. You have known some sadness in your life - I’m so sorry, but you are clearly a warrior too and am sure a godsend to your mum. I do hope she is ok too - it sounds as though she has support around her too which is so important, and she’ll know too that you’re supporting her in the ways that you’re able to at the moment.

Your garden sounds beautiful- and you sound too as tho you know what you’re doing in it. I’m really glad it gives you so much pleasure & that you can enjoy it next spring & summer when it’s at its best. I hope you get good weather on Sunday. Xx

ty my sister has a 3 bedroom house in st.andrews all her family drive as I'm not seeing treatment doctors until the 18th of November my niece is taking myself and mum for 10 days I cleaned all the house washing up to date etc case packed think it's just what I need mum too I will do garden when I come back yes love working in my garden think once you reach 40 no more discos lol bars you get a hobby I feel alone at times but yet I like being on my own now can do what I like miss Tom every day but I have very good memories of him just want like you to be health6 I'm 58 but looking at your photo your only 40s nice photo I hope all goes well for you email you when I come back not talking my iPad arthritis in fingers would break it lol but you can chat to your friends you made good luck next week you will be fine take care lorraine xx

I’m so glad you’re going to spend some time with your family Lorraine. I’m sure that will be really lovely for you & a great distraction. Your home will be all ready for you to return to, too - how organised you are! I’m sure your loving memories of Tom will help you through this very difficult time in your life until your 100% healthy again. It’s nice of you to say I look as though I’m in my 40s! I’ve just turned 52. The lighting was good in that picture! Will catch up with you when you’re back home again, but you’re in my thoughts. Xx