Not coping with stoma bag

I’m 39 years old and on 20th Aug I was told I had bowel cancer. I’ve just returned home from hospital after lower anterior operation and have a bag, which I pray can be reserved In a year.  I’m really struggling with my stoma, even looking at it makes me feel ill. I’m wondering how I’m ever going to cope.  I absolutely despise it all and changing my bag is just horrifying. My husband has had to change it for me since we’ve got home and I just feel humiliated by the whole thing.  Will it ever get easier? Will I be able to cope on my own and accept it? Just wondering if anyone else felt like this! 

  • Hi Jayne-- 45 years! You are my hero. Yes I've talked to everybody including good samiratians . I get the impression no one would blame me. Thanks for your reply 

  • No one would blame you for what??????) 

  • Congratulations I look at it this way its just another way of going to the toilet, I've had upsetting times with it believe me but you just have to get on with it.   Lot people in the churchyard would love to be here with a ileostomy I bet good on you have fab day yours sincerely jayne Williams 

  • I have Crohn's I am a 55 year old women I have had 9 op in 15 months had a stoma bag filtered 3 months ago I am filling so low with it I have started drinking they told me I will get better but ended up back in with another op had it to every one they think I am ok but at home I have never felt so low in my life 

  • Hi Rpennell,

    I just wanted to send a reply to welcome you to the forum. Hopefully you'll receive further replies on this thread, but if not then you can also create your own new discussion on the forum. Please note this forum is aimed primarily at those affected by cancer. There is also a good support network for those affected by Crohn's on the Crohn's and Colitis website.

    If you feel you're struggling, try not to hide things and be sure to keep your doctor informed about how you're feeling.

    Take care and wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I am on the wrong site I don't have cancer I have a stoma bag but got Crohn's

  • Hi I am 44 and I’m 2019 I was told I had bowel cancer and within a week had a stoma bag on and in a month xenotransplantation radiotherapy then nothing for 6 months I had the cancer removed along with other parts as cancer was on them too the stoma bag cause great psychological effect eventually doing myself made me have some control over this but I could bear anyone seeing feeling etc now 2 years I had the bag off and this been hard as bowel is so different now and had a massive infection so spent 16 days in two spell in hospital Overall please talk to the stoma team they can help you though those fears also see if can have counselling that helped understand the why me really Good luck with your journey your doing amazing and talk step by step gain some control it will help that fight needed
  • I had to have an emergency operation and woke up with a stoma in 2018 but because I'm wheelchair bound I had a thick skin over illness/disability but 4 years of neighbours bullying me since coming home from the hospital, ring leader, we use to be friends but it eventually went from verbal to one physical attack to face book humiliation and cutting me off from friends who don't want to know me anymore due to Colitus, one really helped when I was in hospital and use to be a nurse but I was dropped I was devastated and others are to scared to visit me including family because of them  but family member was arrested, police not interested in the reports and issues I was having documented by stoma nurse. Tomorrow I'm likely to be getting an eviction notice as their constantly putting in fake reports, police reports in etc I've proved but they get no back lash for it .I've Bidded on other council property for 2 years but on lowest band I'm stuck and now I'm going to be made homeless with no band and police has removed my hate crime number, since then it's been full on me evidence building to prove I didn't do XY and Z but a friend invited her friend into my garden and him and his mrs got in an arguments I'm been held responsible but this time it's true and their loving it and adding things on but housing are calling me a liar. So I understand the feeling of disgust as I had to dump the love of my life when I was in hospital and then came back to a local bully group. I finally got permission for a camera to go up next week but to late because of a friends friends domestic in my garden, been made to absolutly dispise myself and I wished I had died back in 2018. My other condition is a lot worse and I'm not one for feeling sorry for myself but I'm here just to know if anyone else has had same issues as I'm worn out without help and been really shamed even by the police "you do *** in a bag don't you" but there's no confidentiality law or help dispite slander been there in black and white and housing told me "if it's that bad why haven't you moved out" but with wheelchair I got no where to live, relatives and friends are able bodied housing I can't even visit them. All this because I got an extra grey bin and not a yellow hazard bin for my disgusting bags that are causing them illness like cancer. It's so bad and childish it's laughable like a Jermy Kyle show additude/mentality but I'm the minority in thinking this. Please if anyone has any experience or suggestions as I've exhausted all possible options I can think of, nothing works. I even begged for reversal dispite been impossible because I just wanted this to end, no end in sight!