Hi Alex, 

I am 40 and was diagnosed with bowel cancer in May this year.  I am still undergoing treatment to try and reduce the tumour so that they can operate. Like you, I was uncertain of how I would cope with a Stoma and one of the first things I thought was that hopefully I would not need a permanent stoma.  I believed at that time I would get a Stoma when the tumour was removed, however, the first MDT recommended that I have a colostomy to rest the bowel and avoid a total obstruction before I started chemo and radiotherapy.  I initially found this recommendation upsetting but after having the colostomy operation, I have found it easy to manage and in all honesty although I hope eventually I will get the Stoma reversed, I am comfortable living with it.  I have to have the colostomy reversed and an iliostomy put in place when I have surgery to remove my tumour to allow the bowel to heal. It is scary to start with but it doesn’t take long to get used to and some humour helps!  My husband definitely wouldn’t go near it lol. It doesn’t hold you back from any normal activities, just a bit more planning sometimes.  We are going on holiday to Florida next week and I was a bit anxious about the Stoma for travelling and  swimming/sunbathing but just delighted that we are able to have the holiday we booked last year and looking forward to it.  I hope that you feel a bit more positive about things as it settles down.  It just takes some time to get used to.

Lesley

x

Hey Taff, thank you so much for you’re honest and great advise. I have read your reply a few times and appreciate the time you’ve taken to share your knowledge and experience with me. I really hope I will become as confident with time.   I do admire your strength and you’ve got me thinking (in a good way). Best of luck for the future. 

Many thanks

Alex 

Thank you Lesley for your reply! It really has given me some relief to know there are others out there coping with it.  Hopefully with time I will start to feel more positive and confident. Enjoy your holiday! 

Many thanks

Alex

Glad I could be of some help. It might also be worth remembering that you're not alone in your way of thinking, from reading various stoma forums over time, it's clear that, at least in the early stages, many people think as you and I'm the odd one out here.

Most people seem to come to terms given time and practise, albeit that there's an occasional person who never does. Rare though I think.

As I said earlier, the single most important thing is calmness. and then an acceptance that **** happens.

Actually that's another option worth trying, don't shy away from the words. Personally, I can't be doing with using the word 'poo', it's like talking like a six-year-old. Try saying to your husband, 'I've just got to get used to dealing with ****' and see how freeing it is.

My use of the word here is to show you respect by treating you like an adult. It's an adult word, used by the majority of adults and the only reason I've misspelled it is so I can use it without getting it starred out.

Anyway, I'm burblin' now.

All the best

Glad I could be of some help. It might also be worth remembering that you're not alone in your way of thinking, from reading various stoma forums over time, it's clear that, at least in the early stages, many people think as you and I'm the odd one out here.

Most people seem to come to terms given time and practise, albeit that there's an occasional person who never does. Rare though I think.

As I said earlier, the single most important thing is calmness. and then an acceptance that **** happens.

Actually that's another option worth trying, don't shy away from the words. Personally, I can't be doing with using the word 'poo', it's like talking like a six-year-old. Try saying to your husband, 'I've just got to get used to dealing with ****' and see how freeing it is.

My use of the word here is to show you respect by treating you like an adult. It's an adult word, used by the majority of adults and the only reason I've misspelled it is so I can use it without getting it starred out.

Anyway, I'm burblin' now.

All the best

Well done, it’s true, **** does happen, it happened to me too. It does take a while to adjust, but with a good support network and caring friends and family, we get through it.

Only another colostomate would know what we go through, and I wasn’t aware of forums when I had mine, but like most things, it’s good to know others out there are going through the same ****....

xx

I have Crohn's I am a 55 year old women I have had 9 op in 15 months had a stoma bag filtered 3 months ago I am filling so low with it I have started drinking they told me I will get better but ended up back in with another op had it to every one they think I am ok but at home I have never felt so low in my life 

Hi Rpennell,

I just wanted to send a reply to welcome you to the forum. Hopefully you'll receive further replies on this thread, but if not then you can also create your own new discussion on the forum. Please note this forum is aimed primarily at those affected by cancer. There is also a good support network for those affected by Crohn's on the Crohn's and Colitis website.

If you feel you're struggling, try not to hide things and be sure to keep your doctor informed about how you're feeling.

Take care and wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

I am on the wrong site I don't have cancer I have a stoma bag but got Crohn's