Incurable prostate cancer

Hello All

My dear husband has just been told he has incurable prostate cancer.

Background. Aged 61 - healthy on no meds but a little overweight. Father died of prostate cancer 35 years ago.

Becasue of family history had a PSA every year. The last one in March this year  came back 5.6 went back a few weeks later for another at 5.9 so GP thought all ok but sent him for an MRI scan to be sure (thank you GP) . Scan then went to biopsy and told cancer with  a gleeson score 9  of 4+5 and very aggressive.

Then had PET scan which shows spread to lymph and small area of bone in pelvis. What we had hoped was curable is not. We are devastated and terrified as we thought having a test every year woud mean if it did start to develop it would be early days and easily curable. .

Husband already started hormone tablets and then will have  hormone injections (for rest of life) and chemo. They have called it triple therapy and said they will hit it hard.

We have not dared ask for a prognosis. They looked so grave when they told us and did not say anything positive except they would hit it hard.  I did google  ( i know I shouldnt) and some articles say 3 years...

The articles talk about dealing with bone pain etc - my husband has no symptoms and it is hard to understand how it is so advanced. 

I have seen some stories of people living much longer even when deemed incurable. . Can anyone give us any hope/advice please.

Thank you

  • Hello VWW

    I'm sorry to hear that your husband has recently been diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer. It's understandable that this news has been overwhelming and that you're both feeling so concerned about what this may mean for the future. 

    It's good to hear that the team are offering him some treatment. Hopefully, he will have a positive response to this. 

    We know that many people turn to the internet after being diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, a lot of what people find leaves them with more questions, concerns and worries than before. Try to stick to reliable science-based organisations such as Cancer Research UK and Prostate Cancer UK if you're looking for information. It will also help to remember that everyone's journey is different, so when you're looking at statistics, bear in mind that those may not necessarily mean the same for your husband. 

    Prostate Cancer UK has a service where you can talk with volunteers who have had a prostate cancer diagnosis, and I know some of the men who have posted here previously have said they've found it helpful to talk with other men who have been on that same path. You are also both welcome to talk with one of our nurses if you think it may be helpful. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. They're available Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Keep in touch, VWW, and let us know how you both get on. We're here for you. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Hi vww my partner who is 66  has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer and has no symptoms, he is very active, only drinks in moderation, his was found by a routine blood test so was unexpected his Gleeson score is 9 and his psa are 113, he has had a bone scan and mri but because they came back clear which was a relief to us, not so much for the consultant as he thinks that it may be hidden in lymph nodes because of his high readings he has been referred for a pet scan, like you I started to google which i shouldn't have done either because the information out there is mind blowing, I think as the other half its so hard to watch them going through this, I have cried buckets and gone through the angry stage, like you his dad has it but he hasn't had any treatment and is the ripe old age of 95, I think the only advice and hope we can have is live each day has it comes and treasure what we have which is easy said than done, I have sent a link about anticipatory grief  https://share.google/SrdZlqq2XWs48bdRn  (hope it opens I'm not very high tech) which helped me to understand my feelings and reactions, so hopefully it might help you take care and if you need to chat please do x