Hello MrsPeters79, 

I just wanted to welcome you to our forum and I am sorry you have not received any response so far - sometimes it takes a couple of days to get a response - but I wanted to reassure you that you have come to the right place to talk to others who are currently going through a similar experience. I was very moved to read your story as your poor husband and you as a family have been through so much in the last few months. First having to witness him having a stroke followed by this other mini stroke where they finally did all the necessary tests only to then find out that he also had primary bowel cancer with extensive liver metastases. I am so sorry to hear that surgery is not an option but I hope that the chemotherapy treatment will be effective - good luck with the appointment on Tuesday I hope that you find out more then about what the treatment options might be. Don't hesitate to get in touch with our cancer nurses on this free number 0808 800 4040 if you find that you have any question or would like to talk things through at any point - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

I also wanted to let you know that I have identified another member of the forum, Nik1979 who posted also a couple of days ago and seems to be in a very similar situation to you. Although her husband has rectal cancer rather than bowel cancer, he is of a similar age to your husband being only 41 with liver mets as well and they have three children. Feel free to drop her a line on her thread as I am sure she will be comforted to know that there is someone else who is going through this at the moment. Just like your husband this lady's husband is also currently going through chemotherapy. It's a very difficult time for both of you and I hope that you will be able to connect and exchange experiences. 

Other members of our community may also have been through something similar before and I hope they will drop by and share their story with you. We're thinking of you and your husband during this challenging time and I wanted you to know you are not alone and we are there for you anytime you need to talk.

Let us know if you get a chance how the oncology appointment goes on Tuesday and whether they have given you any additional useful information about the treatment plan. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello,

          you obviously have not found your way around this platform since you sent me a friend request and l have responded with two messages, last night and the day before which you obviously have not picked up.. Those messages do not show on the platform but are accessed through your own page so please do not think that no one out there cares..

Perhaps if the co-ordinator sets eyes on this they can reply and run you through how the site works

In the meantime until you access my messages p[ease know you are very much in my thoughts since l have a great understanding of what you are experiencing from my previous stage 4  bowel and liver cancer journey,

                                                      take care,

                                                                       David

Hello lucy,

                 just to let you know that Mrs peters79 put in a friends request to me which l accepted and have sent two messages which have not been picked up, perhaps due to not understanding how to access, perhaps you could offer some guidance to help her navigate the site,

many thanks

David

Thanks for letting me know David and it's so nice to know you have sent her a message as your experience will no doubt be valuable to her! I will post some guidance below on how to use and access private messaging. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie

Hello again MrsPeters79, 

One of our members Gruntifen has let us know that they have contacted you via private messaging and sent you a couple of messages. In case you are having issues using our private messaging facility, I thought I would send you some guidance on how to use private messaging. 

I hope this helps and that you can read Guntifen's messages fine but if you encounter any issues don't hesitate to get in touch with us. We're here to help! 

Lucie

hello 

I was diagnosed 1 month ago....thurs b4 xmas with multiple liver tumours secondary cancer then after some investigation have bowel cancer too. I am 55 and fit n healthy.. no symptons and was mountai biking the weekend b4 this diagnosis. It has turned my world upside down...emotional wreck now. I start chemo on monday as like ur husband inoperable. still workng but have agreement this week to work ftom home....i have a son but no partner so no idea what to do if i cant work?

Hello smarg,

                       like yourself l was diagnosed with a tumour on Christmas eve, confirmed as cancer on New years eve with liver lesions appearing six months later, after having chemo and radiotherapy this was 10 years ago.

Its a hell of a lot to take in, never mind how to deal with and it takes a toll on your mental resilience. Having had the benefit of a career in animal husbandry the one stand out lesson learnt is that stress is the main killer, and not always the initial affliction, so l determined early on that l had to avoid this happening at all costs, and had to find the way to make this possible.

It did not happen overnight but then it did not drag on over weeks. Everyone will have a different way of dealing with it, in my case acceptance came to my rescue, acceptance that this could kill me, that l was not prepared to give my cancer one single advantage, that l put my entire faith in the medical staff overseeing my treatment, dismissing the term "what if ", and vowing that l would do everything in my mind to make my unwelcome visitor regret choosing such a stubborn, unrelenting you know what, to pay a visit too.

The other thing was too have a focus looking forward, which in my case was to ensure my wife's future was taken care of as much as possible, and from that moment on l never looked back. l never went looking for fat ladies, and never countenanced their singing.. You cannot sugarcoat a journey that was so tough, and l live with lasting physical side effects from my experience, but mentally l am stronger than ever and take them in my stride. .

. Change the things you can influence, and pay little heed to those you cannot will help you tread the path you now travel with as little stress as possible, and live the best future possible, because that is what is in front of you every day you wake up,.

l hope your journey will lead you to a better destination than you now think possible, and wish you every strength along that path,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                David

Hi, not sure how to send friend requests or pick up messages. Not even sure where to find my profile picture. Any help greatly appreciated.

amazing positivity thank you. i know I could get run over by a bus tomorrow...at least I am putting things in place if that happens or the Big C has its way. the stuff you put off til another day now seems to need doing. I have mainly positive moments but also early days for me to get my head around all this. Can become an emotional wreck quite quickly. .. but have an internal talk with myself. keep fighting