hello 

I was diagnosed 1 month ago....thurs b4 xmas with multiple liver tumours secondary cancer then after some investigation have bowel cancer too. I am 55 and fit n healthy.. no symptons and was mountai biking the weekend b4 this diagnosis. It has turned my world upside down...emotional wreck now. I start chemo on monday as like ur husband inoperable. still workng but have agreement this week to work ftom home....i have a son but no partner so no idea what to do if i cant work?

hello 

I was diagnosed 1 month ago....thurs b4 xmas with multiple liver tumours secondary cancer then after some investigation have bowel cancer too. I am 55 and fit n healthy.. no symptons and was mountai biking the weekend b4 this diagnosis. It has turned my world upside down...emotional wreck now. I start chemo on monday as like ur husband inoperable. still workng but have agreement this week to work ftom home....i have a son but no partner so no idea what to do if i cant work?

Hello smarg,

                       like yourself l was diagnosed with a tumour on Christmas eve, confirmed as cancer on New years eve with liver lesions appearing six months later, after having chemo and radiotherapy this was 10 years ago.

Its a hell of a lot to take in, never mind how to deal with and it takes a toll on your mental resilience. Having had the benefit of a career in animal husbandry the one stand out lesson learnt is that stress is the main killer, and not always the initial affliction, so l determined early on that l had to avoid this happening at all costs, and had to find the way to make this possible.

It did not happen overnight but then it did not drag on over weeks. Everyone will have a different way of dealing with it, in my case acceptance came to my rescue, acceptance that this could kill me, that l was not prepared to give my cancer one single advantage, that l put my entire faith in the medical staff overseeing my treatment, dismissing the term "what if ", and vowing that l would do everything in my mind to make my unwelcome visitor regret choosing such a stubborn, unrelenting you know what, to pay a visit too.

The other thing was too have a focus looking forward, which in my case was to ensure my wife's future was taken care of as much as possible, and from that moment on l never looked back. l never went looking for fat ladies, and never countenanced their singing.. You cannot sugarcoat a journey that was so tough, and l live with lasting physical side effects from my experience, but mentally l am stronger than ever and take them in my stride. .

. Change the things you can influence, and pay little heed to those you cannot will help you tread the path you now travel with as little stress as possible, and live the best future possible, because that is what is in front of you every day you wake up,.

l hope your journey will lead you to a better destination than you now think possible, and wish you every strength along that path,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                David

amazing positivity thank you. i know I could get run over by a bus tomorrow...at least I am putting things in place if that happens or the Big C has its way. the stuff you put off til another day now seems to need doing. I have mainly positive moments but also early days for me to get my head around all this. Can become an emotional wreck quite quickly. .. but have an internal talk with myself. keep fighting