Oh my love, my heart is breaking for you. To go through all this without loving support is awful. I too have completed treatments for breast cancer...op, chemo, rads, injections, bisphosphonates, hormone inhibitors....it leaves you truly shot, the last thing on my mind is being intimate with my husband, I just thank my lucky stars that he is patient and held my hand throughout. To have him leave me would be the final kick in the teeth..

Im glad you'll be having counciling, you need to off load. Do you live alone? No one really understands what we've been through unless they've been through it too...having a cancer diagnosis then all the treatments thrown at you is pretty brutal. When it's done friends expect you to bounce back, but that can't be further from the truth.

I was truly shocked to read a post on this forum a good while back from a husband who's wife was going through breast cancer treatment, he was throwing his dummy out of the Pram because she didn't feel like being intimate ( no *** Sherlock) I responded as someone who completely understood where his wife was coming from, I hasten to add I was not rude...but for some reason my reply got taken off!? 

I understand love, please don't give up when you've fought the fight of your life, he isn't worth it...you'll come out of this stronger, it will take time but you can absolutely do it. 

Is there a moving on course near you? 

Please pop back and tell me how your doing? Xxxx

Hi Anna xx

No words of wisdom I'm afraid but just wanted to say hi and that I'm sorry you're struggling. It's not surprising after everything you have been through, including going through an unfortunate marriage breakup. 

Have you discussed this with your GP, Anna? They might be able to give you something to help with not sleeping and your low mood. Also, you should be very honest with your GP about how you're feeling...including feeling like giving up (which you really shouldn't) xxx in light of this, you should ask for an emergency appointment. I took a friend who was experiencing thoughts on giving up to A&E after work one day, on the advice of the NHS helpline (they were unable to send us a GP for some reason I can't recall). Anyway, to my surprise, they were amazing and had well established systems in place to help people who were having difficulties with their mental health. So they're also other options (NHS helpline and A&E) if you feel you need them. Also, the Samaritans are open every day at every hour if you wanted a chat to someone who will not judge you. 

This forum is also a fab place to put down any thoughts or feelings xxx 

Let is know how you're doing? xx 

(By the way, both of those ladies on your profile pic are gorgeous. I'm assuming one of them is you...once you are recovered and well enough, you will have the pick of the lovely fellas...and so you should look forward to that!  ️) xx 
 

I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now Anna but I can see some of our lovely members have given you some really good advice. 

I can see you're waiting for counselling but following on from what citigirl111 said I just thought I'd give you the Samaritans phone number in case you did want to have a chat with them at any point. It's 116 123 and they are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and are really good if you just want someone to chat to, maybe at those times of the day when no-one else is around, or to just listen to what you're going through.

I know there isn't much I can say to make this situation any better but I hope it helps to know that you're not alone and our community are here to support you and do what they can to help. It may not seem like it right now, but you will find a way through this Anna.

Sending kind thoughts and virtual hugs your way.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thankyou ladies my daughter is going to take me to drop in centre for appt your kind words mean alot ...I just find myself crying at a drop of a hat and lack of confidence not been able to look in a mirror ...I'm alone most of the time now so u can imagine I'm my own worst enemy I've had the hardest 14 months then lose my husband hes blaming me because I told him I didnt love him life isn't fair sometimes ....I'll get there I need a bloody holiday lol .... the pic is myself and my beautiful eldest daughter xxx  

Hi Anna marlin said most of what I'd say probably more. I'm on palliative care since February 2016 being intimate is last thing on anybodies mind.. Bear in mind I'm male. Remember marriage is in sickness and in health, Same as being in love" forever. ". I've been very lucky married over 4 7 years had health problems few times wife now has Alzheimers and parkinsons plus mini strokes but i promised to look after her when we got old and I'm sticking to it. Your life will get sorted out and you'll get to a new normal it just takes time. Alot of people on the forum have found that out. Good luck and best wishes for the future....... Billy 

Hi Anna

just wanted to say hang in there 

what a terrible time you have had 

you have a beautiful daughter and  your beautiful too

nobody knows how horrific these times unless you have lived through them are living in fear never having any peace of mind 

be kind to yourself try to have a mini break just until you gain a bit of confidence back 

you are a testament to others don't give up now 

please seek some professional help 

live your life 

xxx

Hi Anna,

i was diagnosed with breast cancer in Oct 2019. Had surgery and starting radiotherapy on Monday. Like must people the C word is devastating. The biggest affect for me was the reality of living with ‘fear’. Before this I had lived completely at ease. 

I guess I just want to say hold on. Life IS really tough, really unfair and really painful at times. That doesn’t mean to say it always will be. It’s easy for me to say this as I am not suffering to the extent you are, but life will regain a new stability. Life will be forever different of course but not necessarily worse. This horrible news does change you I think. Does challenge us beyond where we would willingly want to go. I will hold you in my head  and heart   I felt so sad for you when I read your entry. Your husband leaving.....well that’s so tragic but actually you deserve more.  Much more. Let him go  if you can. You have more IMPORTANT things to dwell on,  YOU and your HEALTH.  

Sending you much love,

Kebb  X x ️

Hi Anna,

Sorry to hear about your situation.

It might be worth having a chat with Macmillan in your area or your nurses because some hospitals run courses. I was given a leaflet. It is all about living, moving on and gaining confidence after cancer.

There is also a charity locally which offers holistic treatment for a donation and a support group which meets monthly.

Check to see what is available in your area.

I hope that things start to get better for you.