Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi Jo

Lovely to have so many post from all my buddies when I logged on.  It is good to get back into some sort of routine (and know what day of the week it is!!) and everyone at work was, as expected, very protective - so sweet and appreciated I can tell you.  Remains to be seem what happens if/when I get a stressy customer but felt ok being back and getting up to speed with new promotions/layout as I had missed the post Christmas changes. In 3 weeks I have holiday time to finish up (very strange handing in dates on the day I have returned after a month off but this has to be taken before 1st April when our new holiday year begins).By this time all the 'unfinished' aspects surrounding hubby's passing will be finalised and the hurdles to cross should be fewer (I am just rambling again sorry but the walls do not answer back).

Hope  you doing okay and that you had a peaceful weekend though not sure ot was good dog walking weather!  Take care and sending hugs.  Jules x

Hi Garf,

Hope you can find this response amongst the plague of ladybird responses (apparently talking is good therapy so have been rambling to all who will listen). Work was fine though a bit of catching up on new layouts/promotions which was to be expected.  Expect you were anticipating a hectic return yourself after the busman'sholiday but sometimes the lack of commonsense that surrounds us these days can be frustrating.  Hope you have 'sorted them all out now'.

Will keep my fingers crossed that your furniture delivery goes without a hitch second time round . I am off to see GP in the morning (hopefully she will be happy to  leave me alone after this appointment) and then visiting Mum tomorrow (normal routine now resumed) and have a meeting in the evening (so hoping to be able to relax in the afternoon).

Take care and hope your therapy is going okay. Hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules,

So pleased your first day back went okay. With regard to the cheese with nettles in it, hope you didnt get "stung" if you'll parden the pun. Mrs B like's the five counties cheese but as allergic to dairy products cant have it any more. A year of two ago Mrs B and I were out for a drive and we came across this shop named The Wonkey Donkey". It was a second hand shop and instead of a rocking horse, it had a rocking donkey in the window which I suppose was a bit wonkey lol. Mrs B and I couldnt stop laughing for ages.

Pleased the staff at work are looking after you. Sounds like you have another busy day tommorow and wish you well with Mr Probate. Brother in law has now finished his chemo and has also seen his specialist who seems very pleased with his progress. He has again told him that allthough they cant cure the cancer, many men in his situation live for several years which has cheered everyone up. Dont know if I mentioned it but my psa has only gone up very slighly and is still very low so very pleased with this. At my cancer meeting last Monday who should be sitting near me but my oncologist who remembered me and was also pleased to hear my psa result.

I have just heard from my daughter in law that my youngest grandson will have to have an operation on his tummy. After leaving the hospital today, she asked him how he felt about the op and he replied "I'm looking forward to it". She was surprised and asked him why and he replied, "Becuase it will make me feel better". It brought a lump to my throaght, he is so brave. These childrem put us to shame at times.

Anyway have rambled enough for today, take care Jules, all the best to you and your family, Brian.

Hi Brian

Really pleased to read that both your PSA is still looking good (there must be a little sigh of relief each time you get your results) and that your Brother in Law has benefitted from the chemo and am sure he is feeling a lot better now - long may he stay 'steady'.

Your youngest grandson is . I reckon. a chip of the old block and think we could learn a lot by following the way they think (though I suppose we did when we were that age)-.  His is a 'Super-Trouper' and when the op happens do hope it helps make him far more comfortable.

Have woken to a light dusting of snow which makes the garden look pretty but means digging out the 'heavy trainers' for the walk to the docs this morning (then to Mums). Robins and blue *** visited very early (an extra helping of shredded suet awaits) and for some mad reason took a dip in the bird bath brrrrr.  Stay warm my forum buddy and hope you and Mrs B have a restful day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Kathy

Had problems getting access on the site for a few attempts - despite signing in still kept asking for me to sign in. Still here now.

Am sure it is wonderful to be close to the wetlands and having regular birdsong (even if a bit too noisy on occasion).  I am lucky enough to have lots of garden birds currently visiting the feeding stations in my garden and gave the blackbirds (re-visiting pair) and the robins an extra treat of chopped raisins and suet as it was such a chilly start. This afternoon had 8 goldfinches arguing over the niger seed and bluetits on the suet block.  Do not seem to fazed by the visiting felines either.

Visit to Mum as a little later today as I had GP appointment first ( she is having me attend once a month for post bereavement check ups - so far so good apparently!!). Spent an hour with Mum before being told I could go as she wanted to go into early lunch  but it was good to have a smile or two and to hear that she was happy with new social worker (he must have used some charm!!).  Hope by the end of this week to have completed all the financial forms to send to Social Services t o help with assessment and then it will be the wait and see game ( a repeat of 2013 procedure but praying for a better outcome this time round).

Do hope your solicitor bucks his ideas up as you really do not need the stress related to this side of your affairs and accuracy is so essential in legal affairs.  Am hoping that the choice we have made with regards to the company  that  I am appointing (representative calling this evening to formally begin the process) will help take this side of things off my hands and have a stack of papers ready for him to collect. Thankfully his last comment to me was that as the Will was so simple and I am only beneficiary they do not expect it to be complicated but its a 'due process' so will not be crossing any bridges just yet ha ha.

You are so right that getting back to usual routines of life helps though am finding that if things go a little haywire I do not cope as well as I used to (maybe in time eh!). Take care my Scottish Aussie virtual friend. Sending peaceful thoughts and hugs.  Jules x

Well done Jules - for your good news. Things are slowly getting better and I am not surprised your garden is full of birds - they all love you!! I am glad your mum is settling in well and enjoying what the place has to offer.

My mum keeps being put into hospital and we have told the home to only do this in dire emergency. She finds it all so confusing and disruptive

all the very best to yoy

Steven xx

Hi Steven

My Mum has only had to be taken to the hospital twice in the two years she has been in residential care thankfully.  However she is not in a nursing home so it is always on the advice of their attending GP  when this happens. It is always so confusing and upsetting when their routines are changed.  Unfortunately with Mum's bi polar mental disorder all she wishes for most of the time is for the end to come sooner rather than later (there is no dementia and she reaches the ripe old age of 89 in May). We as the family can only do our best to keep her safe.

I cannot believe that a month has passed since hubby was set free from his illness.  Still feel a little like I am on autopilot as we cope day to day but having handed over the 'probate' to the professionals yesterday my mind is a little freer from the legalities and the grieiving process continues at its own pace.

Have babysitting the grandchildren to look forward to on Friday (its my turn to have a 'sleepover') as daughter and son in law are at a wedding reception (my son is best man) for good friends and it will be lovely to have something to celebrate.

Hope you and Anne have a peaceful day.  Hugs  Jules

Hi there Jules,

Hoping that you have managed to get a bit more understanding of the new layouts and so on at work and also hoping that the visit went ok with your Mum.

I am afraid that this is a short message to tell you that I am going to be conspicuos by my abscence for a while.  Unfortunately the long running demon war has elevated to a whole new level in the last few days and right now I am finding it extremely difficult to manage everyday challenges like work and home life.  I wish it was possible for you wrap up and post to me some of the enormous strength you have shown for such a long time now but it isn't and I am struggling to find any more of my own.

I will be in touch as and when there is any improvement but in the meantime please take care of yourself and sending best wishes to you and your amazing family.

Garf. xxxxx

Hi there Jules,

Hoping that you have managed to get a bit more understanding of the new layouts and so on at work and also hoping that the visit went ok with your Mum.

I am afraid that this is a short message to tell you that I am going to be conspicuos by my abscence for a while.  Unfortunately the long running demon war has elevated to a whole new level in the last few days and right now I am finding it extremely difficult to manage everyday challenges like work and home life.  I wish it was possible for you wrap up and post to me some of the enormous strength you have shown for such a long time now but it isn't and I am struggling to find any more of my own.

I will be in touch as and when there is any improvement but in the meantime please take care of yourself and sending best wishes to you and your amazing family.

Garf. xxxxx

Oh Garf

So sad to read your latest post on my thread.  Don't you dare give up on fighting those demons (really wish PM still available) and take all the time you need to talk to the professionals and try to find a way through the 'fog' you are  being held in just now.  Thank you for being a great forum buddy (I will not  have you say otherwise) and remember your virtual friends when the fog clears.  Sending peaceful thoughts (hope they reach out to you) and understanding hugs.  Jules x

Garf, just wanted to send supportive hugs to help you through this next stage. 

Annabel. xx

Dear Garf, sorry to see the issues that plague you.  Your forum mates that have only read your posts are rooting for you and hope you turn to good health soon.  We are behind you.  Take care Kathy and big hugs to you and Mrs G. Xxxx