Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Thanks Ian, it was quite a slow and easy return (staff wanting to catch up and those I had not already seenduring previous 'drop ins' having a chat) as Monday reasonably quiet.   Another  hurdle crossed and so far am managing quite well (bet then no one has upset me yet ha ha). 

As to the hands up re Widow Benefit our Probate rep.(now fully appointed and visiting again tomorrow to collect paperwork) also mentioned it and it is already through along with the bereavement benefit which I get weekly for a year. Am using it to get some of the important things done that have been on hold for a few years so come the Summer should be more secure in our back garden!

Hope you and Julie enjoyed your wedding day (not doubt feels like a bit of distant memory now) and you are enjoying your new life together - are the dog and cat talking yet?

Sending hugs and good wishes. Hugs  Jules x

Hi Jo

Lovely to have so many post from all my buddies when I logged on.  It is good to get back into some sort of routine (and know what day of the week it is!!) and everyone at work was, as expected, very protective - so sweet and appreciated I can tell you.  Remains to be seem what happens if/when I get a stressy customer but felt ok being back and getting up to speed with new promotions/layout as I had missed the post Christmas changes. In 3 weeks I have holiday time to finish up (very strange handing in dates on the day I have returned after a month off but this has to be taken before 1st April when our new holiday year begins).By this time all the 'unfinished' aspects surrounding hubby's passing will be finalised and the hurdles to cross should be fewer (I am just rambling again sorry but the walls do not answer back).

Hope  you doing okay and that you had a peaceful weekend though not sure ot was good dog walking weather!  Take care and sending hugs.  Jules x

Hi Garf,

Hope you can find this response amongst the plague of ladybird responses (apparently talking is good therapy so have been rambling to all who will listen). Work was fine though a bit of catching up on new layouts/promotions which was to be expected.  Expect you were anticipating a hectic return yourself after the busman'sholiday but sometimes the lack of commonsense that surrounds us these days can be frustrating.  Hope you have 'sorted them all out now'.

Will keep my fingers crossed that your furniture delivery goes without a hitch second time round . I am off to see GP in the morning (hopefully she will be happy to  leave me alone after this appointment) and then visiting Mum tomorrow (normal routine now resumed) and have a meeting in the evening (so hoping to be able to relax in the afternoon).

Take care and hope your therapy is going okay. Hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules,

So pleased your first day back went okay. With regard to the cheese with nettles in it, hope you didnt get "stung" if you'll parden the pun. Mrs B like's the five counties cheese but as allergic to dairy products cant have it any more. A year of two ago Mrs B and I were out for a drive and we came across this shop named The Wonkey Donkey". It was a second hand shop and instead of a rocking horse, it had a rocking donkey in the window which I suppose was a bit wonkey lol. Mrs B and I couldnt stop laughing for ages.

Pleased the staff at work are looking after you. Sounds like you have another busy day tommorow and wish you well with Mr Probate. Brother in law has now finished his chemo and has also seen his specialist who seems very pleased with his progress. He has again told him that allthough they cant cure the cancer, many men in his situation live for several years which has cheered everyone up. Dont know if I mentioned it but my psa has only gone up very slighly and is still very low so very pleased with this. At my cancer meeting last Monday who should be sitting near me but my oncologist who remembered me and was also pleased to hear my psa result.

I have just heard from my daughter in law that my youngest grandson will have to have an operation on his tummy. After leaving the hospital today, she asked him how he felt about the op and he replied "I'm looking forward to it". She was surprised and asked him why and he replied, "Becuase it will make me feel better". It brought a lump to my throaght, he is so brave. These childrem put us to shame at times.

Anyway have rambled enough for today, take care Jules, all the best to you and your family, Brian.

Hi Brian

Really pleased to read that both your PSA is still looking good (there must be a little sigh of relief each time you get your results) and that your Brother in Law has benefitted from the chemo and am sure he is feeling a lot better now - long may he stay 'steady'.

Your youngest grandson is . I reckon. a chip of the old block and think we could learn a lot by following the way they think (though I suppose we did when we were that age)-.  His is a 'Super-Trouper' and when the op happens do hope it helps make him far more comfortable.

Have woken to a light dusting of snow which makes the garden look pretty but means digging out the 'heavy trainers' for the walk to the docs this morning (then to Mums). Robins and blue *** visited very early (an extra helping of shredded suet awaits) and for some mad reason took a dip in the bird bath brrrrr.  Stay warm my forum buddy and hope you and Mrs B have a restful day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Kathy

Had problems getting access on the site for a few attempts - despite signing in still kept asking for me to sign in. Still here now.

Am sure it is wonderful to be close to the wetlands and having regular birdsong (even if a bit too noisy on occasion).  I am lucky enough to have lots of garden birds currently visiting the feeding stations in my garden and gave the blackbirds (re-visiting pair) and the robins an extra treat of chopped raisins and suet as it was such a chilly start. This afternoon had 8 goldfinches arguing over the niger seed and bluetits on the suet block.  Do not seem to fazed by the visiting felines either.

Visit to Mum as a little later today as I had GP appointment first ( she is having me attend once a month for post bereavement check ups - so far so good apparently!!). Spent an hour with Mum before being told I could go as she wanted to go into early lunch  but it was good to have a smile or two and to hear that she was happy with new social worker (he must have used some charm!!).  Hope by the end of this week to have completed all the financial forms to send to Social Services t o help with assessment and then it will be the wait and see game ( a repeat of 2013 procedure but praying for a better outcome this time round).

Do hope your solicitor bucks his ideas up as you really do not need the stress related to this side of your affairs and accuracy is so essential in legal affairs.  Am hoping that the choice we have made with regards to the company  that  I am appointing (representative calling this evening to formally begin the process) will help take this side of things off my hands and have a stack of papers ready for him to collect. Thankfully his last comment to me was that as the Will was so simple and I am only beneficiary they do not expect it to be complicated but its a 'due process' so will not be crossing any bridges just yet ha ha.

You are so right that getting back to usual routines of life helps though am finding that if things go a little haywire I do not cope as well as I used to (maybe in time eh!). Take care my Scottish Aussie virtual friend. Sending peaceful thoughts and hugs.  Jules x

Well done Jules - for your good news. Things are slowly getting better and I am not surprised your garden is full of birds - they all love you!! I am glad your mum is settling in well and enjoying what the place has to offer.

My mum keeps being put into hospital and we have told the home to only do this in dire emergency. She finds it all so confusing and disruptive

all the very best to yoy

Steven xx

Hi Steven

My Mum has only had to be taken to the hospital twice in the two years she has been in residential care thankfully.  However she is not in a nursing home so it is always on the advice of their attending GP  when this happens. It is always so confusing and upsetting when their routines are changed.  Unfortunately with Mum's bi polar mental disorder all she wishes for most of the time is for the end to come sooner rather than later (there is no dementia and she reaches the ripe old age of 89 in May). We as the family can only do our best to keep her safe.

I cannot believe that a month has passed since hubby was set free from his illness.  Still feel a little like I am on autopilot as we cope day to day but having handed over the 'probate' to the professionals yesterday my mind is a little freer from the legalities and the grieiving process continues at its own pace.

Have babysitting the grandchildren to look forward to on Friday (its my turn to have a 'sleepover') as daughter and son in law are at a wedding reception (my son is best man) for good friends and it will be lovely to have something to celebrate.

Hope you and Anne have a peaceful day.  Hugs  Jules

Hi Kathy

Hope you will find the time to to relax  (though I know how much keeping busy helps with our 'over-thinking things!!) and are putting your feet up so you will be refreshed int time for the arrival of your family and the happiness the wedding celebrations with bring (I also know there will be difficult emotions/memories so give yourself some TLC in the meantime.  Am thinking of you and thank you for your continued support and listening to my inane ramblings.  Look after  yourself- big hugs.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Am glad to read that your return to work went well. Thinking of you as you continue along your journey and sending best wishes as always.   Hope x

Thanks Hope,its lovely to have the support of my forum buddies when I log on from time to time. Do findI cannot concentrate on much for very long but know I must get down to sorting things out around the house at some stage. Not rushing things as I am sure I will get on with it when I feel it is right. Hope you and the family are well.  Jules x

Jules,

Just sending you  hugs . Wish we had pm to chat privately. You are in my thoughts often.

Hugs 

Annabel. xx

Thanks Annabel and hugs returned.  Its very sad that the PM situation has not yet been resolved and perhaps now the biggest problem with the 'new' layout.  Certainly many of the 'old school' regulars  would, I know, find it useful as you do not necessarily want to 'lay bare' all that is going on in your life through 'open' forum'.  I still think it strange that with today's advances in technology, they cannot reinstate the very thing that made the old forum special - choice on how to post.

Following the difficulties surrounding the registration of hubby's death, all should be resolved next Thursday but it has made an already sad time incredibly emotionally draining for me and especially the children. Moving forward in the journey is definitely a step by step process and soon we will also have the official complaints procedure to follow through.  Hubby must be sending us strength as we continue to cope.

Hope you and the family are all keeping well.  Peaceful thoughts sent your way.  Jules x

Hi Jules, didn't go out tdy, relaxing in as much as minimal physical effort required. Fell asleep on sofa at 10 pm (was my bed when hubby had hospital bed in sitting room so dear to my heart), slept till 2 am when meandered off to big bed and slept  till 10 am so reckon sleep was needed.  Had electrician out to quote for ac in spare room in prep for visitors and mate dropped in to colour my hair, so was a good day.    Have requested flood light out back and sensor light in driveway and out front in preparation for wintertime.  Have invited lady up street who lives with her kids (widowed also) to drop in tomorrow avo which she will.  We often wave and chat when walking dog.  Think she was pleased when I knocked on door and asked daughter if mum could come and play tomorrow.  ( I do have wicked sense  of humour).  Tomorrow is planned to be another veg out day with remedial massage plus  chiro booked plus supermarket visit. Will also get bp checked so will need to eat before leaving the house, something I do neglect to do.  Have had a few howls but all good.  If I didn't there would be something wrong.  Feel contented here most of the time but only feel truly happy when with the grandkids..  Thank YOU for listening to my ramblings Jules.  Your friendship is much appreciated honey.  Kathy xxx

Dearest Jules, we have formulated a small group of pm people, bit naughty but what the heck.  If you want to email Annabel at enquiries@greenbarncottages.co.uk and advise who you would like to have your email address she will pass on if she has their details.   I guess Annabel from her experiences/ knowledge can work out who are genuine.  Thank god for her.  Cheers honey.  Xx

Hi Kathy

Just rambled a load, then computer 'lost it' grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Anyway like you fell asleep in front of tv yesterday for around an hour (used to be hubby's seat) and then had yet another disturbed night. Never mind am sure the body will make up for it eventually.  Just when you wake up there is a lot to think about/plan.

Hope your hand of friendship delivered to your neighbour leads to more coffee get togethers. I have a few really good mates so continued to socialise.  Will miss my night out this Friday as am childminding overnight at my daughters whilst they attend wedding celebrations.  Zack  had a new tooth appear today (after a very sleepless night) so fingers crossed he will sleep through.  He and his brother (6) are usually tucked up and asleep by 7pm so will be interesting to see their reaction to me sleeping over (they are not used to me going there as any sleepovers are usually at mine).

Thanks for info for Annabel and will probably follow this up in due course.  She may even get some bookings at the cottages now that she has her e mail on my thread. 

Have a relaxing weekend and as the weather sounds hot hot hot I think chilled wine with fav cheese/biscuits will be the best way to 'veg' out.  Take care virtual buddy.  Jules x

G. ood morning Jules,

Cant believe you have allready completed you first week back at work. I bet you wont mind missing your usual Friday night out as you will be looking after your grandchildren tonight. It's great that you have such a close bond with them for I am convinced that grandparents have a big impact on young peoples lives and help shape the people they become.  Sometimes I feel they take more notice of something grandparents say or do than they do with regard to their parents. And we can learn from them too for they do look at lofe through differnt eyes.

Glad you have got the paperwork underway both regarding your mothers situation and regarding the probate.  One thing I hat is filling in forms for there are always questions where I cant figure out exactly what theire asking. Try to leave Mrs B to do this if possible; talk about passing the buck.

I have another meeting tommorow for a couple of hours si still keeping busy.

Take care Jules, have a happy time tonight, best wishes and hugs, Brian

Hi Brian

Hope your meeting goes/went well and certainly keeping busy seems to be a key to coping!

Have just got home after sleepover at my daughters.  The children were cuddly (lovely) and I listened to the eldest reading his school book (all about Mercedes cars!) and then he read two Dr Seuss books before we put Zack to bed and he was also in bed by 7. They have a great winding down routine.  Eldest slept through till 7 am but teething pains disturbed the little one so was an up and down night and eventually asleep under granny's duvet.  Thankfully it gave my daughter a chance to catch up on a decent sleep herself.  They had a lovely evening at their friends' wedding reception but were home around 12.45 am. 

Am now waiting to hear if the builder will be round to begin the wall build (I need to be in to give them access to the service road (its gated)).  If not then I will crack on with necessary sorting out and then being taken out this evening by friends for a meal (always a bonus when I do not have to cook).

Definitely a few degrees warmer this morning (no frost or wind thankfully)but dont fancy doing the garden just yet.  There are a lovely display of snowdrops and purple crocus in the front bed (between me and the neighbours) but can already see weeds GRRRR. Having to make do with bought flowers indoors at present to cheer me up.  Right the hoover calls as does the paper shredder ha ha.  Thank goodness for council recycling.  Hope you and Mrs B have a good weekend.  Hugs  Jules x