Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hello Jules ,how lovely that your daughters birthday is on Valentines Day ,and what a lovely Valentines gift that must have been for you both when she was born so romantic ..One of my friends ,when we went to school had her birthday on the same day too ..I know how hard it is writing out cards and just putting your name ,Its 2 years in Feb since I lost Tony and I still find it hard ,but it must get easier in time I hope ,its still very early days for you Jules and you must like Beryl has said take your time and take  baby steps.Jules hope getting back to work will help ,and you will have the support of your work mates too ,and with a holiday in a short while will be something to look forward to .And Jules I hope you have a good visit with the new social worker and things turn out in yours and Mums favour ..Rusty and I have been for our walk and we met his girlfriend in the park Jessie another greyhound she is black and Rusty is Fawn they love a romp together .The weather is dry and 8.6 degs at the moment but drizzle then rain is forcast for later ..Take care Jules Big Hugs ..Sueanne Xx

Hi Jules,

Just popped in to say I hope you're OK.  Trust you will get your internet problems sorted - very frustrating, the internet is something we have all come to rely on these days.  Best wishes for your return to work next week, sometimes it is good to get back to routine but remember to take time out for yourself whenever you need.  Take care.  Hope x

Thanks for your post Hope.  You know only too well that grieving plots it's own course and in some ways there is no 'controlling' it.  As yet we are still awaiting closure on the legalities surrounding registration of death (GP/Registrar having made errors in the paperwork!) so am a bit in limbo which really does  not help  me or the children just now. Everyday stuff has to carry on and life in general is pretty busy which everyone tells me is good (but I would enjoy some 'quiet time'in my head if that makes any sense.

Internet problems are intermittant but nonetheless frustrating as so much of the 'old paperwork' is now done online.  Engineer due out this morning so fingers crossed they find a problem they can fix (£65 fee if they dont!!!!!).  With washer/dryer due for delivery too plus the happy task of having Zack to stay I am in for one varied day ahead .

Hope all is well with you and the family. No doubt the boys keeping busy with their studies and you are adjusting still. Look after yourself. Sending kind thoughts and hugs. Jules x

Good morning Jules,

I can understand the frustrations your internet problems are giving you especially when now is the one time when you really don't need it.  Having said that the growl at the beginning of your post made me smile as someone I work with growls like that on a regular basis.

The work part of my busmans holiday is mostly done as the gutter and facia is now up on the back of the bungalow but I am now trying to find a good home for our lounge furniture, tv stand, cupboard unit etc. I am actually taking the large coffee table to my mother in law's a little later although it will completely fill what's left of her living room so I don't really know why she wants it.We have decided to splash out on some oak furniture which will arrive, hopefully on Friday.  It will be good to have some quality furniture for the first time but it does mean there is far less chance of a cruise this year.  Never mind, there is too much to do around the house anyway.

Good luck with your own delivery and I do hope that the engineer can sort out your internet.

Charge you £65 if they can't find a problem - how does that work? Once upon a time people only got paid if they fixed a problem, not if they couldn't find one.  There's that progress again! ;)

Love to you Jules.

Garf xx

Good morning Jules,

Sorry have been absent for a day or so but have been so busy. Monday I was out to my three hour cancer meeting to do with the new Macmillan Horizon Centre being built in Brighton. As my car was problematical I went by bus so was out for nearly six hours. But well worth while. I also found out my PSA has only risen slightly during the past six months. It still only 0.89 which is very good. Funny thing was when I was at the cancer meeting I met my oncologist who recognised me and asked how I was, so was able to update him.

Yesterday got my car fixed; it was a sensor that was the problem. Cost me a fair bit but needed to get it fixed. Did more walking than I have done for ages and when I finally got home felt absolutely done in. So today I am playing catch up and taking things easy.

Sounds like you have a lot going on today, with visit by internet people, washing machien delivery, and little Zack to have fun with as well. I was sorry to hear you got upset when the car was taken away but can well understand it for it's another little bit of the past you shared with your hubby and probably have happy memories of trips out you had together in the car. I hope your meeting went well yesterday with social services regarding your mother.

While walking around the shops yesterday killing time while they ran diagnostics on my car, I found a lovely owl cushion which was the last one they had so bought it for Mrs B who was very pleased with it. My nut shop was closed as they are moving round the corner so wasnt able to buy any nuts.

Well I have rambled enough for today. Take care Jules, Best wishes and kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian.

Good evening Garf

Well, its been quite a day. Both engineer and washer/dryer were booked for a.m.delivery -both turned up at 2.30ish!!!! (just as well it was pouring with rain and I did not want/need to go out.  Washing machine now in situ and once I have read the booklet will set to work!  The internet has been temporarily re-vamped on old router but new router required. Engineer was here two hours as the new router he had with him just would not work with old settings - nothing is ever straightforward these days.  Now need another engineer to come out who apparently will bring all network info with him (to be honest its all beyond me but hubby never shared his password (why would he when you are supposed to protect it!!).  Anyway for now its fingers crossed.

On the plus side the legalities regarding registration of hubby's death have been  partially rectified so we can move forward with new death certificate once they are sent out (you could not write a book about the problems two 'professionals' have caused- though perhaps I should ha ha).  Time for formal complaint will be later as no one should have had to go through the added stress this has brought to the family.

Zack has been a little treasure today and is now tucked up and fast asleep and will be picked up tomorrow after elder brother has been dropped to school. His hospital appointment was inconclusive as he did not 'rock' during the sleep clinic but was rather upset by it all - am sure dinner out with Mum and Dad will help!

Hope Mother in Law was happy with the coffee table and that you get safe delivery of new furniture on Friday - seems like a good Spring Clean is afoot in your place and am sure your and Mrs G will be very pleased once its complete.

Well whilst a little peace is available I will put my meal on and try and catch up with other mail.

Take care and try and get a bit of R&R before your return to work.  Hugs  Jules

Hi Kathy

Washer dryer in and ready to go (when I have read the blurb that goes with it!!).  Interenet has temporary repar until new router with different engineer comes out (the joys of switching from hubby's name has lead to password issues like you would not believe but at least I have access at present.).  Both appointments booked for am, both arrived after 2 pm but as I had Zack to keep me amused no real problem.

Hope to have appointed probate solicitors by end of week but still plenty of stuff to keep me amused (not sure where I will find the time to return to work but am going back on Monday anyhow).  Glad you are also beginning to get somewhere with the legal side of things too.  I am actually Executor for hubby but plan on passing the buck so to speak as really do not need the added stress of doing all the running around.  With hopefully all the necessary boxes ticked now, we are able to move forward a little more.

The little ones certainly never fail to bring smiles and Zack has been as good as gold today and is now tucked up in bed and I am planning my evening meal in peace (hope I have not spoken too soon ha ha).

Take care forum friend.Hugs across the miles  Jules

Hi Brian

No apologies needed as you certainly carrying out good work with regards to cancer charity and it was nice that you saw your own oncologist and were able to tell him your good PSA news.  Am sure you and he were delighted with latest results.

Mrs B is turning into an owl sanctuary for 'all things related' but bet she was chufffed to bits with the new cushion.  I am planning on re-adopting Cobweb in memory of hubby in April so our 'adoption' will continue.

At the local market a couple of weeks ago they had a display of owls from local sanctuary and was happy to donate to such a good cause.  They are beautiful to look at and bring enormous pleasure to their carers as well as those in the wild.

Well feeling pretty jaded now so will get away to a meal and maybe an early night.

Kind thoughts and peace sent back to you and MrsB. Jules

 Sorry my PC crashed so out of touch will now get back in touch take care kind regards george .

 Sorry my PC crashed so out of touch will now get back in touch take care kind regards george .

Hi George

Technology is great when its working.  Hope your PC stays fixed for you.  I too have been having issues with the internet, one engineer down, one to go!!

Do hope your doctor has been able to help with your pain and that you are more comfortable. I expect Ria is keeping you company along the way. Take good care.  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Sorry I haven't been around much this last week. We have been empty with the cottages but busy with all the catch up things we have to do when we are empty. Now this morning we have 6 inches of snow and my husband is outside clearing it away in order to get the car out in the hopes of getting into town for his gp appointment and one or two comestubles. 

I hope you are well and managing to fit in the reflecting moments for yourself within the company of visits from friends and family. So glad you got yourself a new washing machine and hope its working well. At least if you get snow like we have you don't have to worry about going out with the laundry. One day we might be able to pm again and I look forward to that oppotunity. 

Sending lots of hugs 

Annabel. xx

Hi Annabel

Lovely to see your name crop up and hope your husband got the car out and managed his appointment and necessary supplies for the 'snow in'.  None of the white stuff in our neck of the woods so far, though was bitterly cold (windy too) when we took Zack out this morning.

Have not yet had the washing machine on (still need to read the instructions and will wait for a 'full load' !!). Another telephone engineer (trying to sort out intermittent Broadband - grrr) due tomorrow p.m, so will try and catch up with more paperwork(photocopying documents) whilst I am waiting.  Have now appointed legal representatives to deal with Probate (will be glad to hand it all over to professionals) and am back to work on Monday  so some sort of normal can be found. This coming weekend is, hopefully, to be a relaxing one (do possibly have builder coming to secure back of garden (broken fencing to become a wall) and then can rest a little easier security wise.

How are you keeping?  Hope little Ava doing well and your daughter enjoying being back at work.  Expect you will be getting cottages filled up again soon with half term hols and Easter just around the corner.  I am joining daughter and family for five days away in Dorset (holiday caravan park with all the necessary entertainment for the kiddies (big and small ha ha) beginning Easter Monday (we return just in time for son in law's birthday). Take care my virtual buddy. Peaceful thoughts and hugs coming your way. Jules x

I am glad you are busy and you got the legal stuff out of your hair, Well, no snow down here either - but its is nippy cold. Thinking about gardens already? Good luck on the back fence. There will be more strong winds coming along I am sure. We are okay - skittery about next week - but in my heart I think it will okay. Mum still plods along. I did a little video for us all of her singing. I am simply tired out - but tired out!!!

take care xx steven

Good morning Jules,

Well today is the last official day of my busmans holiday before, like you I return to work on Monday morning.  I know I will have a lot to try and deal with that day but I suspect it will be nothing compared to your return to work after the last few weeks.

There won't be much relaxing going on today as I have to dismantle the tv - sky - dvd - video - x box unit and prepare for the delivery of new lounge furniture while a hospice charity comes to collect the old units.There will then be a whole lot of dusting and hoovering but I still hope to get it all done shortly after lunch.  

I met up with someone from work for a coffee yesterday and it was good to have a bit a laugh and a catch up on what is and isn't happening at the hotel.  No surprises waiting for me as far as I know but time will tell.

Hope the new washer dryer is everything you hoped it would be although,  when you said earlier that you would read the instructions thoroughly before using it I had to smile because, as a man, the first instinct is to just turn it on and see what happens.  :p

All the best with hugs Jules.

Garf. xx

Good morning Jules,

Hope you are not snowed in. We had a little dusting last night just as it got dark but it's all gone this morning, much to my grandchildrens dissapiontment. Hope your enginer is able to sort your internet problems our for you. My cancer meeting last night was cancelled so I had an evening off, much to mrs B's delight. I bought her a small pack of owl stickers the other day and my son asked where she was going to put them. She replied "On your dad if he keeps annoying me". Now theres gratitude for you.

Glad you have now got your washer installed. I have every faith you will soon get the hang of it. It should make your life a lot easier. My grandson still keeps calling me Granddad Brian. Early next week he has to see the specialist and we will find out if the little guy has to have an operation or not.  Last Night I phoned my son and little one wanted to talk to me. He is writting a story for his school work and insisted on reading it to me over the phone. I was very imressed though he still has some way to go to get it finnished.

Sounds like you still have things to do this weekend with the builder and back fence as well. I can imagine part of you is reluctant to return to work while another part is looking forward to getting some normalitity back in  your life. I think you have coped very well and am glad you have the love of your family to help you.

Take care and will chat again soon. sending best wishes and kind thought for a peaceful weekend, Brian

GMorning Brian

yup we are the same - no snow at all!! In fact a fine morning - so its no good for your grandson to come here for snow men!! Lets hope he gets the all clear!! Two years ago our grandson had to go to the hospital - he is okay now - but he bowel problems brought on by gluten. Wierd or what??

Well, have a great day and enjoy every minute!

I am off to work = we have a new boss starting soon that sounds like Captain Mainwaring = yuk!!

Cheers 

Steven

I love your posts BTW

Hi Steve,

Thanks for the reply and thought about my grandson. Talking about gluten, My son is very allergic to any gluten based products but Luckily both Asda and Sainsburys now keep a good range of gluten free products. Even if someone gives him a knife that has been in contact with gluten based products, he has big trouble with his bowels so can understand your grandsons problems all to well. Hope your day is not too tireing and that you and your wife have a good weekend, best wishes and kind thought bieng sent your way, Brian.

Hi Steven

The back fence has been a disgrace for some time but other things understandably were coming first.  Now I need to get things in order.  Day to day stuff does not go away!! 

Upcoming appointments (and the waiting for them) always bring stress along with them and I do hope all will be well. 

New set of forms to fill in, this time for Mum's care needs.  Should be easier this time (went through it all just over a year ago so at least I know what I am facing).

Hope you and Anne have a peaceful weekend. Jules x

well, still having issues with internet (have already  replied to your post but it disappeared so am having another go!). Am delighted to report that new washing machine working a treat and very very quiet! Awaiting arrival of 2nd Broadband engineer (before 6 apparently though they were several hours late the last time (so far no extra payments demanded though it could be me asking for  a refund in the future!!!). The call centre for the supplier is doing my head in as I still do not have an answer to the real problem (no access to account details because password not known (hubby was not one to share!!!) and there answer is to send another engineer to check the line(which has already been reported as fine!!!).  To add insult to injury they have asked me to fill out an on line survey as regards their service - have put it on the back-burner for fear or 'letting rip inappropriately' ha ha.

Hope your new furniture arrives as planned and am sure the Hospice will be delighted with your donations.  Seems like an early Spring cleaning bug has begun.  My retail therapy has extended now to a new doormat (no jokes here please;) and a new bin which will fit underneath the sink area(thus freeing up floor space in my very minute kitchen).

Fox has just wandered into the garden and polished off bird food so now have some disgruntled feathered friends flying to and fro wondering where their bread has gone.

Spent several hours photo copying this morning in readiness for next Legal appointment and then another hour 'shredding' hubby's old work material (sensitive but the company did not want it returned so am following instructions!!).  Doing a little something every day is the only way I am finding.

Fingers crossed will be out this evening and then tomorrow will see builder back and providing materials delivered could have new back wall by the days end.  Actually beginning to think I am going back to work for a rest (though now have forms through to continue dealing with Mum's care home fees) but also see GP on Tuesday to she can see how I am doing (hoping this will be the last of these as the stress caused by another GP (out of hours attached to the surgery) not ticking a vital box has meant delays.  Still we are moving ahead again now.

Hope you and MRs G have a peaceful weekend in your newly furnished lounge. Take care  Jules x