Hi Jules,

Just wanted to check in under your new thread.  I'm glad to read (on your old thread) that your grandchildren are keeping your spirits up.  Am continuing to think of you, and I too wish that PM was sorted out.  Take care.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Your need to draw a line under the last thread and start a new one is completely understandable and a good idea and the title is so apt.

I did post a reply last night but unfortunately I was writing it at the same time as it was being closed off so I got an error message which I promptly blamed on this new site but an email from the moderators this morning and a helpful link explains everything. The moderators really do a great job here especially when they put up with a rant from the likes of me so, if you are reading Lucie thank you and my appologies again for venting.

To make it short I was told by my Mum that my youngest Neice, Hannah is in hospital and undergoing tests to try and find the cause of intense pain. I was initially annoyed with my sister for not telling me as she had already been in hospital 24hrs and the hospital itself is notorious for poor care so I am worried for her  especially when, at only 19yrs she is being given Morphine for the pain. When I know more I will let you know.

In the meantime I hope all of us can help you a little as you continue your journey.

Lots of love and hugs.

Garf. xx

Good morning Jules,

Hope your visit to you mother goes okay. We got a little wet when shopping early this morning. Spent most of yesterday doing paperwork for the wood club. I have designed a new membership card which I can print myself instead of buying the plastic ones which have become so expensive.Will be able to print peoples names on them instead of writing by hand. Still have to update our fire list and membership  directory in the next couple of weeks.

I have to tell you I admire the way you have coped so far and have still found time to respond to others. I also think this forum does help so many;so many amazing people who allthough going through the mill are still willing to offer help and advice to others.

I will have to leave early tommorow morning with regard to my talk as one of the ladies from my local cancer charity Cancervive very kindly wants to come and support me.I have to arrive by 8.30 and have to admit I am looking forward to it. Mrs B looking forward to a peaceful morning ha ha but I told her I will make up for it when I return.

Garage is still nice and dry so the repairs still holding good.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes and hugs, Brian

Hi Jules,

Just thinking of you, I hope you are OK. Hope xx

Good morning Kathy

So pleased your son able to come and see you (and good that he can get jobs done too). Just the kind of support that is so helpful. My son in law has fixed my 'sticking' front door and fitted new security chain and this coming weekend will take hubby's care for total valetting so need to empty the boot!!

Spent a little time with Mum and she has decided (wisely) not to try to attend the funeral (we are having snow flurries just to add to the problems she would possible face).  Have told her I know she will be thinking of us all and hope have put her mind at rest.  Her general mood was a little improved and  think my sadness has perhaps brought her 'mothering' instinct back a bit.  She has bipolar depressive illness and does have varying 'swings'.

Today have 'free' legal adviser coming to explain the way through probate and my daughter is coming along to have an extra pair of ears (that also means another cuddle session with Zack).  We have been totally overwhelmed with the offers of assistance and support during this sad time and I still feel like I am on autopilot and dealing with the practical side has been pretty straightforward so far.  Have finally finished (I think) all official notifications of death and got all the bills into my name which is a bit of a relief.

Yes,Spring breaks will be during April and if I can get the 'holiday leave' I require will have a mini break away at the beginning and end of that month. It will be good for us all to be able to relax and do some lovely walks on the Dorset coast (both with my son's dog on one break and with the grandchildren on the other).

Good to hear that your pets and 'lodger' are accepting of each other and can fully understand why the four legged Houdini come back now that he knows who feeds him.

Have a G'day and sesnding you kind thoughts and virtual hugs  Jules x

Good morning Brian,

Good to read that your garage is staying leak free and hope it continues for you as know it is more like a workshop when the temperature allows. Underfloor heating next . Beautiful start to the day here though some people not so lucky if the TV pics anything to go by. Currently watching cat in the garden desparate to catch a pidgeon (they are running rings round it!!).

Am sure you were well received at your cancer meetings and its wonderful that you can put so much back into this with firsthand knowledge - a positive side to dealing with post cancer diagnosis. Well done.

As a family we are supporting a small charity offering free support and advice, run by volunteers, as part of hubby's celebration of life (and onwards I am sure).  The cover the South of England and though being based in Southampton area they visited us at home at the start of our journey and will never be able to thank them enough for their time and expertise in Mesothelioma (the ladies who run it both having family members who suffered with the disease).  So important to keep these charities 'alive'.

Visiting Mum was good and she is dealing with hubby's death in her own way but was strange to have her emotional imput suddenly and it makes you realise that her bi polar problems suppress true feelings from time to time.  It left me somewhat reflective as you can imagine. 

Certainly, I am going  through the  practical side of things almost on autopilot just now but take great comfort from the fact that hubby had the best care the NHS had to offer and me by his side at his passing.  A love lost but forever in our hearts as a family. The grandchildren gave me drawings yesterday for 'grand-dad to take on his journey to becoming a star' and I will take them to the funeral directors later today as they have said they can be placed with him. The eldest lad (hard to believe he is only just 6) told me that he loved his grand-dad and he needed the picture because he could not take his car with him. Oh to have a child's mind just now.

Hope you and Mrs B are keeping okay. Hugs. Jules x  

Thanks Hope, it means a lot to me that my forum buddies are here to help along the new road I am having to travel. Am coping almost automatically with all the necessary notifications and paperwok. Today have free legal Probate rep coming to the house to explain things to us (daughter being an extra pair of ears as son is working) and tomorrow will be chatting to GP (her request to see how I am) so days pretty full and I am finding it a little  strange at the peacefulness that surrounds me.

Best wishes to you and your family. Hugs Jules x

Hi Jules, you are an amazing lady, and have looked after your husband and mother with such fortitued.

I hope that feeling of peacefulness stays around you like a warm blanket to help you through this time.

love and peace for the future , to you and your family xxTonic

Hi Jules,  I totally agree with Tonic and wanted to add that I hope you get on OK with the legal representative today as well.  Take care.  Hope xx

Hi Jules,

Hope you had a productive visit with the "legal eagle" today.  I also hope you can deal with someone who can understand what you are going through and helps as much as they can.

I'm afraid there is still no news on why  Hannah is so unwell.  She had a CT scan yesterday, one day later than they said she would, but the results came back clear which is a good thing but they are still no closer to finding out what is going on.  We are now doing the age old past time which is to "wait and see"!

Also just to let you know I took a half day today so I could be at home to receive a pre-arranged assessment phone call.  It is the first part in the next round of demon vanquishing after being reffered by the doctor.  I don't know how effective it will be but let's wait and see --- wait!  I've heard that somewhere before ;)

Thoughts are with you Jules, take care!

Garf. xx

Thank you for your kind words.  Definitely not amazing (sure my kids would vouch for this!!), just going through the motions day to day so make sure eerything is sorted out with the dignity my hubby deserved.

Today would have been his GP check up appointment and instead of him going, his GP has asked for me to go in so she can 'keep an eye on his widow'.  Have arranged a cuppa with my bingo pal afterwards as suspect I might be a bit fragile!

Hope all is going okay in your own family.  Regards Jules x

Morning Hope

Have not been so busy in a long time!  Most of the official notifications are in place and have gone pretty smoothly.  Legal advice appointment pretty straightforward to and has lead to a couple of other lines to follow and also have an appointment with independent solicitor later in the month before making final choices as regards applying for Probate. Even in the legal world it would appear its good to make comparisons!!!!  My daughter has been my second pair of ears and little Zack and older brother keeping us smiling. 

Hope all good with you and the family.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Morning Hope

Have not been so busy in a long time!  Most of the official notifications are in place and have gone pretty smoothly.  Legal advice appointment pretty straightforward to and has lead to a couple of other lines to follow and also have an appointment with independent solicitor later in the month before making final choices as regards applying for Probate. Even in the legal world it would appear its good to make comparisons!!!!  My daughter has been my second pair of ears and little Zack and older brother keeping us smiling. 

Hope all good with you and the family.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Good its going okay for you Jules. 

Thinking of you all

xx

steven

Hi Jules,

Like Brian, I admire the way you are coping and am pleased that your legal advice was straightforward. I will be thinking of you on Monday as you have the celebration of hubby's life.  I truly hope that your spirit continues to help you continue coping as well as you have, but rest assured that your forum buddies will always be here for you whatever the days may bring.  Take care.  Hope xx

Jules, thank you for your thoughtful message on my thread. It is so lovely of you to be thinking of others whilst going through so much yourself - you are a truly inspirational lady who many care for deeply. I will be thinking of you on Monday, and always x

Hi all

Will keep this short but cannot get my head round what I am about to say. Yesterday I was told that due to 'a mistake' between two departments when hubby's death confirmed/registered (is this not two separate 'clangers'). We can only hold a memorial service on Monday (and may not have hubby present ) with his final journey being delayed until legalities completed.DEVASTED Jules

Oh Jules,

My heart goes out to you that this shoud happen, especially at such at late stage which gives no chance of getting things sorted out due to the weekend. I really do feel for you and your family, Brian

Dear Jules,  I am so so sorry to read your latest post.  I can't imagine how you and your family must be feeling.  I'm lost for words as to why this should happen and how departments whose job it is to deal with registering deaths can make this blunder. I sincerely hope that there is some way to try and sort this out over the weekend. My heart goes out to you and your family.  Do let us know how you are when you are able.  Hope xx

Jules,

I am so sorry to hear of ths official blunder by derpartments who are supposed to be so proffessional. The impact on you and your family can be devastating. I too am surprised the problem didn't show itself before now. Take care of yourself hun and if necessary chat to your helpful GP, as in putting her in th picture. 

Sending all supportive hugs

Annabel. xx

Oh guys thank you for you kindness.  Wanted to share this with us a.s.a.p.  Our funeral director has been amazing and has just rung to say everything will appear as normal on Monday.  Due to a powercut (can you believe this) the curtains will not be able to be closed but everyone will be able to say their personal goodbyes however they wish. Tears of joy here (and relief).  This phone call arrived just as first snowflakes began to fall - he is watching over me still. Jules x

Oh Dear Jules I dont know what to say ,how dreadful for this to happen ,you have been coping so well too,  you must be devastated Jules I wondered if its anything to do with hubbys cancer Mesothelioma being an industrial illness I would like to explain what happened in our case as you know Tony had the same cancer because of this it can cause a few problems in the early days ,I so wish I could pm you to explain in detail .My heart goes out to you lovely lady ....Hugs sent ...Sueanne Xx