Hi Jules,

Just wanted to check in under your new thread.  I'm glad to read (on your old thread) that your grandchildren are keeping your spirits up.  Am continuing to think of you, and I too wish that PM was sorted out.  Take care.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Your need to draw a line under the last thread and start a new one is completely understandable and a good idea and the title is so apt.

I did post a reply last night but unfortunately I was writing it at the same time as it was being closed off so I got an error message which I promptly blamed on this new site but an email from the moderators this morning and a helpful link explains everything. The moderators really do a great job here especially when they put up with a rant from the likes of me so, if you are reading Lucie thank you and my appologies again for venting.

To make it short I was told by my Mum that my youngest Neice, Hannah is in hospital and undergoing tests to try and find the cause of intense pain. I was initially annoyed with my sister for not telling me as she had already been in hospital 24hrs and the hospital itself is notorious for poor care so I am worried for her  especially when, at only 19yrs she is being given Morphine for the pain. When I know more I will let you know.

In the meantime I hope all of us can help you a little as you continue your journey.

Lots of love and hugs.

Garf. xx

Hello Jules Lovely to see that you are going out for a coffee and a chat with your friend talking at this difficult time is good for you ,but some quiet time is also important to reflect .Listening to the music over and over is exactly what I did when Tony passed away ,I new all the words ,and I even find myself singing them quietly when im out walking Rusty even now particularly our song which was an Eric Clapton song Wonderfull Tonight so Jules sing away ,I must just say I think you are an amazing lady to still be able to support others on the forum ,when going through such a difficult time yourself ,look after yourself Jules and suround yourself with the love of your family and friends ..Sending you a BIG HUG SueanneXx

Hi Brian

Hope the case of 'boxed ear' wears off soon and maybe you will be the one pulling the trolley when it has its maiden outing!  Just think of all the nuts it could hold.  You cannot beat shop bought chips and as I rarely make them and you have  made my mouth water am thinking a fish and chip supper is due soon

It was a beautiful if a little chilly start to the day and I did another trip to the launderette and have finally caught up.  I then  did a bit of tidying and set off into town where I dropped in on my friend and 'rambled' for a couple of hours before dropping into my place of work (to drop off  bereavement leave certificate so that I get paid!).  Picked up a new iron (how exciting) and new pot pourri for the hallway.  Also some flowers for the lounge as I wanted to practice the arrangement I will have on the day of the funeral indoors.  Think its important to have flowers around as I love to see colour (just a shame that hubby's favourites are out of season - dahlias) at this time of  year when the garden is mainly green and brown.

Don't overdo the 'catching up with what you missed' and hope you and MrsB have had a relaxing day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Brian

Hope the case of 'boxed ear' wears off soon and maybe you will be the one pulling the trolley when it has its maiden outing!  Just think of all the nuts it could hold.  You cannot beat shop bought chips and as I rarely make them and you have  made my mouth water am thinking a fish and chip supper is due soon

It was a beautiful if a little chilly start to the day and I did another trip to the launderette and have finally caught up.  I then  did a bit of tidying and set off into town where I dropped in on my friend and 'rambled' for a couple of hours before dropping into my place of work (to drop off  bereavement leave certificate so that I get paid!).  Picked up a new iron (how exciting) and new pot pourri for the hallway.  Also some flowers for the lounge as I wanted to practice the arrangement I will have on the day of the funeral indoors.  Think its important to have flowers around as I love to see colour (just a shame that hubby's favourites are out of season - dahlias) at this time of  year when the garden is mainly green and brown.

Don't overdo the 'catching up with what you missed' and hope you and MrsB have had a relaxing day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Kathy

Am sure the 'lodging' Jack Russell will find out from the cat in due course who is  boss inside the house but can imagine its a bit of a worry when they 'do a runner' and they are not yours.  Girl at work has a Jack Russell called Milly and I know she enjoys playing hide and seek - beware ha ha.

Got new iron (but not unpacked it yet!!).  I am having to stay in tomorrow so plan on catching up with housework more then.  Just coffee whilst out but am currently enjoying another home made muffin with afternoon cuppa so still finding time to 'eat naughty'.  Must wean myself off soon otherwise will undo all the good work I managed a couple of years ago and will get told off at my next cholesterol check (now overdue and being somewhat avoided).Seeing GP this Thursday (her request as she likes to keep an eye on new widows bless her).  Have legal rep (free service from late hubby's bank) coming on Wednesday to run through things with me but think I have notified everyone and copies of death certificate (certified at time of registration) are already on the way to the organisations who asked for them.  Am wondering what I will do with my time once all the paperwork is finished? Of course, I will be pack to my part time job and am possibly thinking of joining local 'Ramblers Association (for walkers not ttalkers)- time will tell.

Hope you and the family are keeping well and that the bushfires kept their distance.  Take care  Hugs  Jules x

Good evening Sueanne

Beautiful morning here (clouded over but stayed dry) and enjoyed catching up with my friend for a couple of hours.  Then went to do a bit of shopping and bought myself a lovely bunch of *** willow, spider crysanths and purple flowers (cannot spell or pronounce name but begins with L!!!) and have had a very lazy afternoon watching sport and answering phone to friends/relatives and have just finished an hour long call with the girl I met when I was expecting My daughter (33 yrs ago)(we normally only swap Christmas cards and had a lot of bringing up to date to do.

Hope you have had a peaceful and relaxing day.  As I have to stay in all day tomorrow am saving the housework till then but must now have dinner or it will be ruined!!  Sending hugs.  Jules x

Hello Jules, im so glad you enjoyed your girlie chatch up will have done you the world of good.The first days in your new life is hard having to  do so much organising and making changes but its good that many people are only to pleased help.I felt a bit like a robot going through the motions but not realy with it ,what was worse for me was driving I realised I couldnt consentrate so didnt drive for two weeks my mind was so full of Tony .Children are an amazing comfort arnt they supporting each other lots of hugs lots of tears ..I think you are so brave hubby would be so proud of you as im sure he always was .The weather is terrible rain wind Rusty and I had an early walk 7 30 ish just drizzle but enough to get us wet lots of branches down pavements in a mess but 11 degs ..The flowers sound lovelyJules  I love *** willows too, I saw catkins out yesterday too Jules somtimes florists seem to get flowers that are out of season just a thought Take care lovely lady and BIG HUG sent ..Sueanne

Hi sueanne

I completely agree with the 'robot' feeling.  I m sure someone turned on an autopilot switch once hubby passed away but somehow all the official calls are made (for now anyway) and as donations come in for our chosen charity (in lieu of flowers) I am now turning to the 'writing letters' phase.  Have had first full day indoors today (weather was lousy anyway!) and by three o'clock all the loaned equipment had been collected.  The lounge suddenly feels a very large space with me plonked in the middle!  Has probably done me some good relaxing in between the housework and have just polished off a fish pie for dinner.

Tomorrow morning I will get back to routine visit for Mum and then am travelling into town with my daughter who has a clinic appointment (routine) but needs Zack to be 'minded' whilst she is seen so I will push him round the shops.

Both the children have suggested I join them on mini breaks in the Spring so will go back to work at beginning of February only to try and book 'holiday leave' but its good to have things to look forward to.

Am really pleased with the flowers and have chosen same colours for hubby and will wear/carry something purple at the celebration of his life (strangely we both had the same favourite colour).

Look after yourself and hope all the family are doing okay too.  Hugs  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Hope your visit to you mother goes okay. We got a little wet when shopping early this morning. Spent most of yesterday doing paperwork for the wood club. I have designed a new membership card which I can print myself instead of buying the plastic ones which have become so expensive.Will be able to print peoples names on them instead of writing by hand. Still have to update our fire list and membership  directory in the next couple of weeks.

I have to tell you I admire the way you have coped so far and have still found time to respond to others. I also think this forum does help so many;so many amazing people who allthough going through the mill are still willing to offer help and advice to others.

I will have to leave early tommorow morning with regard to my talk as one of the ladies from my local cancer charity Cancervive very kindly wants to come and support me.I have to arrive by 8.30 and have to admit I am looking forward to it. Mrs B looking forward to a peaceful morning ha ha but I told her I will make up for it when I return.

Garage is still nice and dry so the repairs still holding good.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes and hugs, Brian

Hi Jules,

Just thinking of you, I hope you are OK. Hope xx

Hi Jules,

Just thinking of you, I hope you are OK. Hope xx

Thanks Hope, it means a lot to me that my forum buddies are here to help along the new road I am having to travel. Am coping almost automatically with all the necessary notifications and paperwok. Today have free legal Probate rep coming to the house to explain things to us (daughter being an extra pair of ears as son is working) and tomorrow will be chatting to GP (her request to see how I am) so days pretty full and I am finding it a little  strange at the peacefulness that surrounds me.

Best wishes to you and your family. Hugs Jules x

Hi Jules, you are an amazing lady, and have looked after your husband and mother with such fortitued.

I hope that feeling of peacefulness stays around you like a warm blanket to help you through this time.

love and peace for the future , to you and your family xxTonic

Hi Jules,  I totally agree with Tonic and wanted to add that I hope you get on OK with the legal representative today as well.  Take care.  Hope xx

Hi Jules,

Hope you had a productive visit with the "legal eagle" today.  I also hope you can deal with someone who can understand what you are going through and helps as much as they can.

I'm afraid there is still no news on why  Hannah is so unwell.  She had a CT scan yesterday, one day later than they said she would, but the results came back clear which is a good thing but they are still no closer to finding out what is going on.  We are now doing the age old past time which is to "wait and see"!

Also just to let you know I took a half day today so I could be at home to receive a pre-arranged assessment phone call.  It is the first part in the next round of demon vanquishing after being reffered by the doctor.  I don't know how effective it will be but let's wait and see --- wait!  I've heard that somewhere before ;)

Thoughts are with you Jules, take care!

Garf. xx

Thank you for your kind words.  Definitely not amazing (sure my kids would vouch for this!!), just going through the motions day to day so make sure eerything is sorted out with the dignity my hubby deserved.

Today would have been his GP check up appointment and instead of him going, his GP has asked for me to go in so she can 'keep an eye on his widow'.  Have arranged a cuppa with my bingo pal afterwards as suspect I might be a bit fragile!

Hope all is going okay in your own family.  Regards Jules x

Morning Hope

Have not been so busy in a long time!  Most of the official notifications are in place and have gone pretty smoothly.  Legal advice appointment pretty straightforward to and has lead to a couple of other lines to follow and also have an appointment with independent solicitor later in the month before making final choices as regards applying for Probate. Even in the legal world it would appear its good to make comparisons!!!!  My daughter has been my second pair of ears and little Zack and older brother keeping us smiling. 

Hope all good with you and the family.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Hi Garf

It must be confusing and worrying in equal measure (never mind frustrating) as regards Hannah's symptoms. Good news that the CT scan showed nothing untoward but do hope they can get to the bottom of things soon for her sake as well as her loved ones.

Hope your telephone call assessment is the start of something positive for you in dealing with those pesky demons - you deserve to be able to enjoy life without them poking their noses in.Thinking 'it will be effective' is a first step.  Let me know how you progress my forum buddy.

Free legal advice representative arranged by hubby's bank spent over an hour chatting to us and guiding us the requirements of going through Probate plus the options available to us.  Very interesting and helpful and have a couple of other bits to sort out as regards notifications as well as enquiring about ongoing benefits for me (another long phone call booked with DWP this afternoon!!). We have a further solicitor to 'check out' towards end of the month and then decisions to be made as to the best way for us to proceed (lucky to have two 'on the ball' kids and their other halves.

Lump in the throat moment this morning as I had to empty the car (still had his fishing gear in from his last outing) as its off to be valetted this weekend and then we can arrange sale (useful information we were given yesterday too).

Have also been asked to go on a couple of mini breaks in April (one with each of the children) and work has granted my holiday dates so booking can be completed.  It will do all of us good to have these to look forward to and be a mini step forwards before arranging to holiday on my own (if my Mum could do this as 82 am sure I should follow her lead).

The Isle of Man three should have arrived on the mainland last night and are staying with friends until the funeral on Monday but hoping we can catch up before then (we have had lenghty conversations on the phone). Planning to take the 'dignity' my hubby showed in this respect forward as this would be his wish and they deserve to follow their own dreams in their retirement.

Well, thats a lot of rambling for one morning.  Have a good day.  Hugs Jules x

Good its going okay for you Jules. 

Thinking of you all

xx

steven

Hi Jules, just wanted to touch base and let you know that I'm thinking of you as you take this journey to its' conclusion on Monday. Having said that however, we know that Monday won't be the finish for you or your family, but just the beginning of the next phase. Right now you are busy doing things that need to be done and that occupies your mind and your time. That will continue after Monday as well, but gradually will phase out to the finish. Grieving is a process and even though you saw this coming at some level because of your husband's illness, that grieving will continue, although will be less intense as time goes on. Stay in touch on the forum and let us know how you are. We know that the months/years ahead will certainly be different for you as you adjust to a "new normal" way of life. My thoughts will be with you.

Hugs.

Lorraine

Hi Lorraine

Nice to hear from  you and hope your recover is continuing.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.  Feel very much as though I am a 'robot going through the motions' but am pleased to say that all necessary official notifications as regards late hubby are completed to the best of our ability.  The children continue to keep me company where  necessary (extra pair of ears/thoughs very  helpful).  Gp is happy I am managing and sees me again after I return to work.

Monday had seemed a long time away until now!  The celebration of his life is to be well attended and I will be seeing people who had 'known, worked with and loved him' over many years. No doubt more emotional fallout (only to be expected and managed of course). My six year old grandson summed it up beautifully 'A party for Grandad - why when he cannot be there?' - the wonderful innocence of childhood.  We have spent some time with him looking through old photo albums (and envisage doing it some more as it raised lots of laughs). 

The final goodbye is a hard day ahead but my heart is full of memories (42 years long) which I am hoping will carry me forward into a 'different normal'.  The forum has been and am pretty sure will remain part of my coping mechanism.

Sending peaceful thoughts for you and yours.  Jules x