Hi Jules,

Just wanted to check in under your new thread.  I'm glad to read (on your old thread) that your grandchildren are keeping your spirits up.  Am continuing to think of you, and I too wish that PM was sorted out.  Take care.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Your need to draw a line under the last thread and start a new one is completely understandable and a good idea and the title is so apt.

I did post a reply last night but unfortunately I was writing it at the same time as it was being closed off so I got an error message which I promptly blamed on this new site but an email from the moderators this morning and a helpful link explains everything. The moderators really do a great job here especially when they put up with a rant from the likes of me so, if you are reading Lucie thank you and my appologies again for venting.

To make it short I was told by my Mum that my youngest Neice, Hannah is in hospital and undergoing tests to try and find the cause of intense pain. I was initially annoyed with my sister for not telling me as she had already been in hospital 24hrs and the hospital itself is notorious for poor care so I am worried for her  especially when, at only 19yrs she is being given Morphine for the pain. When I know more I will let you know.

In the meantime I hope all of us can help you a little as you continue your journey.

Lots of love and hugs.

Garf. xx

Hello Jules Lovely to see that you are going out for a coffee and a chat with your friend talking at this difficult time is good for you ,but some quiet time is also important to reflect .Listening to the music over and over is exactly what I did when Tony passed away ,I new all the words ,and I even find myself singing them quietly when im out walking Rusty even now particularly our song which was an Eric Clapton song Wonderfull Tonight so Jules sing away ,I must just say I think you are an amazing lady to still be able to support others on the forum ,when going through such a difficult time yourself ,look after yourself Jules and suround yourself with the love of your family and friends ..Sending you a BIG HUG SueanneXx

Hi Brian

Hope the case of 'boxed ear' wears off soon and maybe you will be the one pulling the trolley when it has its maiden outing!  Just think of all the nuts it could hold.  You cannot beat shop bought chips and as I rarely make them and you have  made my mouth water am thinking a fish and chip supper is due soon

It was a beautiful if a little chilly start to the day and I did another trip to the launderette and have finally caught up.  I then  did a bit of tidying and set off into town where I dropped in on my friend and 'rambled' for a couple of hours before dropping into my place of work (to drop off  bereavement leave certificate so that I get paid!).  Picked up a new iron (how exciting) and new pot pourri for the hallway.  Also some flowers for the lounge as I wanted to practice the arrangement I will have on the day of the funeral indoors.  Think its important to have flowers around as I love to see colour (just a shame that hubby's favourites are out of season - dahlias) at this time of  year when the garden is mainly green and brown.

Don't overdo the 'catching up with what you missed' and hope you and MrsB have had a relaxing day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Brian

Hope the case of 'boxed ear' wears off soon and maybe you will be the one pulling the trolley when it has its maiden outing!  Just think of all the nuts it could hold.  You cannot beat shop bought chips and as I rarely make them and you have  made my mouth water am thinking a fish and chip supper is due soon

It was a beautiful if a little chilly start to the day and I did another trip to the launderette and have finally caught up.  I then  did a bit of tidying and set off into town where I dropped in on my friend and 'rambled' for a couple of hours before dropping into my place of work (to drop off  bereavement leave certificate so that I get paid!).  Picked up a new iron (how exciting) and new pot pourri for the hallway.  Also some flowers for the lounge as I wanted to practice the arrangement I will have on the day of the funeral indoors.  Think its important to have flowers around as I love to see colour (just a shame that hubby's favourites are out of season - dahlias) at this time of  year when the garden is mainly green and brown.

Don't overdo the 'catching up with what you missed' and hope you and MrsB have had a relaxing day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Kathy

Am sure the 'lodging' Jack Russell will find out from the cat in due course who is  boss inside the house but can imagine its a bit of a worry when they 'do a runner' and they are not yours.  Girl at work has a Jack Russell called Milly and I know she enjoys playing hide and seek - beware ha ha.

Got new iron (but not unpacked it yet!!).  I am having to stay in tomorrow so plan on catching up with housework more then.  Just coffee whilst out but am currently enjoying another home made muffin with afternoon cuppa so still finding time to 'eat naughty'.  Must wean myself off soon otherwise will undo all the good work I managed a couple of years ago and will get told off at my next cholesterol check (now overdue and being somewhat avoided).Seeing GP this Thursday (her request as she likes to keep an eye on new widows bless her).  Have legal rep (free service from late hubby's bank) coming on Wednesday to run through things with me but think I have notified everyone and copies of death certificate (certified at time of registration) are already on the way to the organisations who asked for them.  Am wondering what I will do with my time once all the paperwork is finished? Of course, I will be pack to my part time job and am possibly thinking of joining local 'Ramblers Association (for walkers not ttalkers)- time will tell.

Hope you and the family are keeping well and that the bushfires kept their distance.  Take care  Hugs  Jules x

Good evening Sueanne

Beautiful morning here (clouded over but stayed dry) and enjoyed catching up with my friend for a couple of hours.  Then went to do a bit of shopping and bought myself a lovely bunch of *** willow, spider crysanths and purple flowers (cannot spell or pronounce name but begins with L!!!) and have had a very lazy afternoon watching sport and answering phone to friends/relatives and have just finished an hour long call with the girl I met when I was expecting My daughter (33 yrs ago)(we normally only swap Christmas cards and had a lot of bringing up to date to do.

Hope you have had a peaceful and relaxing day.  As I have to stay in all day tomorrow am saving the housework till then but must now have dinner or it will be ruined!!  Sending hugs.  Jules x

Hello Jules, im so glad you enjoyed your girlie chatch up will have done you the world of good.The first days in your new life is hard having to  do so much organising and making changes but its good that many people are only to pleased help.I felt a bit like a robot going through the motions but not realy with it ,what was worse for me was driving I realised I couldnt consentrate so didnt drive for two weeks my mind was so full of Tony .Children are an amazing comfort arnt they supporting each other lots of hugs lots of tears ..I think you are so brave hubby would be so proud of you as im sure he always was .The weather is terrible rain wind Rusty and I had an early walk 7 30 ish just drizzle but enough to get us wet lots of branches down pavements in a mess but 11 degs ..The flowers sound lovelyJules  I love *** willows too, I saw catkins out yesterday too Jules somtimes florists seem to get flowers that are out of season just a thought Take care lovely lady and BIG HUG sent ..Sueanne

Hi sueanne

I completely agree with the 'robot' feeling.  I m sure someone turned on an autopilot switch once hubby passed away but somehow all the official calls are made (for now anyway) and as donations come in for our chosen charity (in lieu of flowers) I am now turning to the 'writing letters' phase.  Have had first full day indoors today (weather was lousy anyway!) and by three o'clock all the loaned equipment had been collected.  The lounge suddenly feels a very large space with me plonked in the middle!  Has probably done me some good relaxing in between the housework and have just polished off a fish pie for dinner.

Tomorrow morning I will get back to routine visit for Mum and then am travelling into town with my daughter who has a clinic appointment (routine) but needs Zack to be 'minded' whilst she is seen so I will push him round the shops.

Both the children have suggested I join them on mini breaks in the Spring so will go back to work at beginning of February only to try and book 'holiday leave' but its good to have things to look forward to.

Am really pleased with the flowers and have chosen same colours for hubby and will wear/carry something purple at the celebration of his life (strangely we both had the same favourite colour).

Look after yourself and hope all the family are doing okay too.  Hugs  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Hope your visit to you mother goes okay. We got a little wet when shopping early this morning. Spent most of yesterday doing paperwork for the wood club. I have designed a new membership card which I can print myself instead of buying the plastic ones which have become so expensive.Will be able to print peoples names on them instead of writing by hand. Still have to update our fire list and membership  directory in the next couple of weeks.

I have to tell you I admire the way you have coped so far and have still found time to respond to others. I also think this forum does help so many;so many amazing people who allthough going through the mill are still willing to offer help and advice to others.

I will have to leave early tommorow morning with regard to my talk as one of the ladies from my local cancer charity Cancervive very kindly wants to come and support me.I have to arrive by 8.30 and have to admit I am looking forward to it. Mrs B looking forward to a peaceful morning ha ha but I told her I will make up for it when I return.

Garage is still nice and dry so the repairs still holding good.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes and hugs, Brian

Good morning Jules,

Hope your visit to you mother goes okay. We got a little wet when shopping early this morning. Spent most of yesterday doing paperwork for the wood club. I have designed a new membership card which I can print myself instead of buying the plastic ones which have become so expensive.Will be able to print peoples names on them instead of writing by hand. Still have to update our fire list and membership  directory in the next couple of weeks.

I have to tell you I admire the way you have coped so far and have still found time to respond to others. I also think this forum does help so many;so many amazing people who allthough going through the mill are still willing to offer help and advice to others.

I will have to leave early tommorow morning with regard to my talk as one of the ladies from my local cancer charity Cancervive very kindly wants to come and support me.I have to arrive by 8.30 and have to admit I am looking forward to it. Mrs B looking forward to a peaceful morning ha ha but I told her I will make up for it when I return.

Garage is still nice and dry so the repairs still holding good.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes and hugs, Brian

Good morning Brian,

Good to read that your garage is staying leak free and hope it continues for you as know it is more like a workshop when the temperature allows. Underfloor heating next . Beautiful start to the day here though some people not so lucky if the TV pics anything to go by. Currently watching cat in the garden desparate to catch a pidgeon (they are running rings round it!!).

Am sure you were well received at your cancer meetings and its wonderful that you can put so much back into this with firsthand knowledge - a positive side to dealing with post cancer diagnosis. Well done.

As a family we are supporting a small charity offering free support and advice, run by volunteers, as part of hubby's celebration of life (and onwards I am sure).  The cover the South of England and though being based in Southampton area they visited us at home at the start of our journey and will never be able to thank them enough for their time and expertise in Mesothelioma (the ladies who run it both having family members who suffered with the disease).  So important to keep these charities 'alive'.

Visiting Mum was good and she is dealing with hubby's death in her own way but was strange to have her emotional imput suddenly and it makes you realise that her bi polar problems suppress true feelings from time to time.  It left me somewhat reflective as you can imagine. 

Certainly, I am going  through the  practical side of things almost on autopilot just now but take great comfort from the fact that hubby had the best care the NHS had to offer and me by his side at his passing.  A love lost but forever in our hearts as a family. The grandchildren gave me drawings yesterday for 'grand-dad to take on his journey to becoming a star' and I will take them to the funeral directors later today as they have said they can be placed with him. The eldest lad (hard to believe he is only just 6) told me that he loved his grand-dad and he needed the picture because he could not take his car with him. Oh to have a child's mind just now.

Hope you and Mrs B are keeping okay. Hugs. Jules x  

Hi Jules,

I really admire the way you are coping and so pleased you are getting so much support from your family as I know how much this support means from when I lost my mother. How lovely that your two grandchildren have drawn pictures for grandad to take with him. Children never cease to amaze me. When I heard those words "You have cancer", one of the first things that flashed through my mind was that I might not see my three grandchildren grow up, or get married and start families of their own and that was a frightening prospect for me. I am also pleased that your mother is also offering you support.

My talk went off very well thank you and I had several people who shook my hand afterwards and thanked me. The people I gave my talk to were senior clinicians, doctors ect and at the end of my talk I thanked them for all the work they do behind the scenes, for what they do makes peoples cancer journey easier and helps acchieve a better outcome for the patient. I was able to tell them, I couldnt fault the service I recieved fron all levels of the N.H.S. during my treatment and will alway remember the laughs I had with the radiotherapy staff. Also made an interesting new contact for the local charity I belong to. I was rushed off my feet last night at the wood club as a lot of members paid up. Didnt take long to drop of to sleep last night as a result.

Glad you were helped yesterday regarding probate. When I was dealing with my mothers funeral, I hadnt realized how much there was to arrange. Just when I thought I had finished, something else needed doing. I could only take a couple of days off so trying to do the rest while working made it more difficult.

Take care of your self Jules as you start this new phase and journey of your life. Sending big hugs to you, Brian.

Steven, thank you for your kinds words and hope you and your wife are doing okay too.

Brian

I think the GP knew how much I would be having to attend to in these early days and that is why she 'awarded me' a month's bereavement leave (company has been very supportive all the way along and I could have had unpaid leave at any time but she felt I should not lose money!).  I saw her yesterday (she appears to have now taken me onto her patient list) and we chatted about hubby and how I am coping and I see her again the day after I return to work as she wants to ensure that I am OK - very appreciative of her outlook especially as I am sure she has much needier patients than me.

Its great that you can give talks to people working in the cancer field and am sure everyone benefits from it too.  Hopefully after being so busy with this and your Wood Club duties you will have a bit of 'me and Mrs B time'.

My in-laws finally managed to get over late last night (bad weather led to previous evening's flight being cancelled).  As yet am not sure if I will see them before the funeral on Monday.  I have more appointments today and they have to rely on the friend they are staying with for 'wheels' though we could manage to get together using public transport if needs be. We have, of course, had a few long chats on the phone.

Another mini mishap yesterday, eldest grandson suffered a nasty nosebleed and had to go to A&E (he had a knock at school the previous day and they thought he may have broken his nose!!  After a morning at the hospital waiting for 'bleed' to stop, he was examined - no break but he has been referred to ENT dept at another hospital (appointment within 5 days apparently) and may need cauterization procedure.Sent home with orders to keep him quiet and rested - have they met my 6yr old grandson

Well best do the rest of my mail before  getting off to next appointent(or interent link fails (weather playing havoc with connections).

Wishing you and Mrs B a peaceful day and weekend ahead.  Jules x