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How to psychologically recover

Hilts
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I do feel a little indulgent posting about this, when so many are having a worse time of it ( for now , I always say that, not tempting fate)

Back story- husband diagnosed out of the blue, very few symptoms apart from a loving nagging wife (me), with Oesophageal cancer - July 2020. Nuclear chemo, major surgery , nuclear chemo, 'good' histology. disease free for 18 months ( finger crossed forever).

Now the indulgent bit- how on earth do recover mentally from the whole world wind. I am relatively okay- or at least at the moment I am.

Him- he says he's lost all the 'certainty' in life. Due to the whole thing he has retired from work. Then his mum pops off in February this year ('just' old age) He feels quite 'got at' , like all his life ballasts have been removed. He has done group stuff at maggies, but what we are trying to do I find a way through the psychological recovery. . We know time and adjustment, but like most humans we want it to happen right now!He has hobbies, friends etc. We are really trying to 'live' with mad holidays etc, BUT...
So, I guess what I'm after is 'tips' on what others have experienced AND how they got or are getting through it.

Hilts

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    Hi alot of us call it the new normal, things change and alot don't get back to how things were before cancer came into our lives, we still do things the same just we've changed most becoming stronger more determined to do what we want in life. 

    Billy 

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Billygoatt

    Hi , 

    Thanks to all of you that responded. 
    Marywj- we took your suggestion of sessions at macmillian and He called them . That is in the process of being arranged- so thank you.

    Billy- you are soo right when you say just doing what we like,  ergo- not doing stuff we don't want to with WHO we DONT want to, we are less inclined to please others and prefer to please ourselves (:

    What all seem to be saying is that this is the new normal. Yes sure, but it is how to deal with 'bereavement' of your old life if that makes sense.?

    We are certainly going on great holidays, making plans , laughing lots, BUT we are great over thinkers (: I suppose we are 'adjusting' and with that comes happy times and sad times.

    Hopefully the sessions can train those thoughts into moving forward

    thanks

    Hilts

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  • Offline in reply to Billygoatt

    Hi , 

    Thanks to all of you that responded. 
    Marywj- we took your suggestion of sessions at macmillian and He called them . That is in the process of being arranged- so thank you.

    Billy- you are soo right when you say just doing what we like,  ergo- not doing stuff we don't want to with WHO we DONT want to, we are less inclined to please others and prefer to please ourselves (:

    What all seem to be saying is that this is the new normal. Yes sure, but it is how to deal with 'bereavement' of your old life if that makes sense.?

    We are certainly going on great holidays, making plans , laughing lots, BUT we are great over thinkers (: I suppose we are 'adjusting' and with that comes happy times and sad times.

    Hopefully the sessions can train those thoughts into moving forward

    thanks

    Hilts

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