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How to psychologically recover

Hilts
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I do feel a little indulgent posting about this, when so many are having a worse time of it ( for now , I always say that, not tempting fate)

Back story- husband diagnosed out of the blue, very few symptoms apart from a loving nagging wife (me), with Oesophageal cancer - July 2020. Nuclear chemo, major surgery , nuclear chemo, 'good' histology. disease free for 18 months ( finger crossed forever).

Now the indulgent bit- how on earth do recover mentally from the whole world wind. I am relatively okay- or at least at the moment I am.

Him- he says he's lost all the 'certainty' in life. Due to the whole thing he has retired from work. Then his mum pops off in February this year ('just' old age) He feels quite 'got at' , like all his life ballasts have been removed. He has done group stuff at maggies, but what we are trying to do I find a way through the psychological recovery. . We know time and adjustment, but like most humans we want it to happen right now!He has hobbies, friends etc. We are really trying to 'live' with mad holidays etc, BUT...
So, I guess what I'm after is 'tips' on what others have experienced AND how they got or are getting through it.

Hilts

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    Hi Hilts,

    Sorry to hear that your husband had to go through this and that you have had the sad news of his mother passing away.

    I was diagnosed with a small low grade breast cancer 6 months ago.  Apparently I'm told I should feel lucky that it was found so early and low grade and stage and I have a good prognosis.   I can categorically say I didn't and that the trauma of being told I had breast cancer absolutely floored me.  I've recently finished 6 sessions of counselling which helped via Macmillan.  It takes time to adjust and grieve I suppose for the carefree person you were pre diagnosis.  It's the feeling of never being safe again' that I found hard.  I can honestly say that 6 months on I am only just starting to come to terms with it all and enjoy life again, keeping things in more perspective I suppose.  I think you just have to give things time to adjust to the new 'normal', it's very much work in progress.   Everyone is different and I suppose it can take longer for some.  Go at your own pace.

    All the best.

    Mary

     

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    Hi Hilts,

    Sorry to hear that your husband had to go through this and that you have had the sad news of his mother passing away.

    I was diagnosed with a small low grade breast cancer 6 months ago.  Apparently I'm told I should feel lucky that it was found so early and low grade and stage and I have a good prognosis.   I can categorically say I didn't and that the trauma of being told I had breast cancer absolutely floored me.  I've recently finished 6 sessions of counselling which helped via Macmillan.  It takes time to adjust and grieve I suppose for the carefree person you were pre diagnosis.  It's the feeling of never being safe again' that I found hard.  I can honestly say that 6 months on I am only just starting to come to terms with it all and enjoy life again, keeping things in more perspective I suppose.  I think you just have to give things time to adjust to the new 'normal', it's very much work in progress.   Everyone is different and I suppose it can take longer for some.  Go at your own pace.

    All the best.

    Mary

     

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