Hi Debbie,

I don't think any of us 'know how to feel' after treatment and the general 'support' from both professionals and friends and family fades away. Once treatment stops it seems like everyone decides. 'Oh well. She's through that then'?!! (Do they think we are robots I wonder??!!) I was shocked initially how rapidly everyone 'forgets' it was a life threatening illness I had been diagnosed with. Then the uphill struggle of getting through the treatment.... .... it's no picnic that's for sure. 
 

I am not trying to win sympathy and like you I largely DO get up and get on with life but I AM still affected by the diagnosis. The fear the word 'recurrence' engenders can be quite powerful and I have to make a concentrated effort at times to dispel it. I have good friendships with a few close people. When I was diagnosed and through the  treatment they were all fabulous. Now it's as if it never happened?!! I know they care about me but they are all oblivious to the magnitude of cancer and what it does to our minds as well as our bodies. It's why I stay on this site because it's filled with people who GET IT!! 

I think to feel guilty is laying too much on yourself. You are entitled to feel angst. Entitled to feel you need space to think/ rant/be a vulnerable person because of course we all feel like that at times. We aren't super heroes!! 
 

I think more than anything you must focus on being kind to yourself. Step back from helping out all the time. Have time for YOU!! Quality time doing those things that give you pleasure. You deserve that. You have come through a really tough year and it IS only when you are through it that the shock/fear of it all sets in. That's how it was for me anyway. 

I wish you well.

Kebbs 

Hello Kebbs

i cannot thank you enough for your post, it's so helpful to hear someone who really understands what it's like and to put it so succinctly and articulately. I'm not one who can talk easily about my feelings but when I've tried it's been difficult to express and although my family try (bless them) they cannot possibly understand, so reading your post and how you express yourself as actually made me feel a lot better. I can now read this to my family and hopefully they'll get it. It feels good not to feel alone, so once again a huge Thankyou 

kindest regards Debbie 

Hello Kebbs

i cannot thank you enough for your post, it's so helpful to hear someone who really understands what it's like and to put it so succinctly and articulately. I'm not one who can talk easily about my feelings but when I've tried it's been difficult to express and although my family try (bless them) they cannot possibly understand, so reading your post and how you express yourself as actually made me feel a lot better. I can now read this to my family and hopefully they'll get it. It feels good not to feel alone, so once again a huge Thankyou 

kindest regards Debbie 

Hi Debbie,

Glad you found it helpful. It's all true!!

I was diagnosed nearly 3 years ago but I stay on this site. I think some people drift away because they are 'done' with it. Fair enough. I stay on because at times I need to speak out to people who know what having cancer really means. Plus at times I may be able to help someone. It's swings and roundabouts really but I have found it so helpful. 
 

Take care. Life is good!

Kebbs x x 

Hi kebbs

im so glad you have stayed on because you certainly helped me. I do agree it's really only other cancer sufferers that understand. Thankyou once again for you kind help

kindest regards 

Debbie