Well Rose, you've joined the long message gang!  It is good to see you opening up, I was a bit worried that you sort of hinted at your health issues but never enlightened us on what they were.  You have really been through the mill, haven't you?

Don't try to do too much too soon after so recently having the Covid, it takes so much out of you.  Funnily enough, today I was talking to a much older neighbour (nearly 90) who is becoming a good friend and she was telling me how she once had some vascular problems and the hospital doctors wanted to admit her but she refused to stay because she would have difficulties during the night if she wasn't in her own house, and they agreed to let her go home, but she had to go back every day while they were investigating her situation.  Times have changed since then. When I had my mastectomy three years ago, my kids really wanted me to stay in for the first night after the surgery just in case I felt ill, but one of the doctors said I should get out as fast as I could because hospitals are filthy places where you can catch all sorts of things.  You proved that, by catching the Covid while you were in there. It's not surprising that you still get tired. I had a very mild dose but it wiped me out for a week or two.

You will really need to take care that you keep warm, with your respiratory problems, not easy in the current  climates, both physical, (the forecast is for frost), and economical. Not easy at all.  I like the idea of you having your little heater to yourself, to keep you warm.

I laughed when you said I must have been strong carrying the laptops round.  They were heavy! Fortunately I only had to carry them from the car into the libraries. I would sling three from each shoulder!! I was so glad when the libraries got their own computers. It was so much easier demonstrating how to do things when there was a proper mouse and keyboard.  It seems so old fashioned now to think of how we did things then, but we thought we were at the height of technological advancements.

You sound to be much more positive than when I first saw your messages, and I'm really glad.  I'm one of those annoying, relentlessly positive people, blessed with an overactive sense of humour and it makes me sad to see someone going through so much that it affects their mental health as well as the physical health.

Take your time, don't overdo things when you feel less tired. My daughter has  ME and she goes through weeks of agonising fatigue then when she does feel a bit better she goes into overdrive catching up on things she had to neglect, and she sometimes does too much and crashes again. 
 

Love

Christine x

Thank you so much for this lovely reply and wise words Christine. Much appreciated. I'm actually generally very positive and part of the problem is likely genetic. (I'd also had a bad reaction to a new medication.) But I've also had to deal with issues concerning all the pressure I've put on myself over the years (subconsciously) living life for two. It was just such a difficult time for my friend to die as we'd only been at secondary school a week or so before she went into hospital and she was my one special friend in the class from Primary school.  I thought the bereavement counselling was a good idea and maybe it would have been okay but for the timing of the Queen's death and all the public outpouring plus that bad medication reaction. But it definitely didn't work even though I thought at first it might have done. Also the timing of my friend's death was the same time my grandfather died (from the same respiratory condition I have and only a few years older than I am now) and the time of my first operation (why I saw so little of my friend that summer) and also the time that something else really traumatic happened. The good news is that all you fold have helped me be a lot more positive. Am so incredibly grateful. And today has been a super quiet day mainly watching DVDs with the heater keeping me lovely and warm. (The newer LED heaters are fairly cheap to run – I like to put on for maybe half an hour then turn it off say for an hour and a half or even two or three hours (being too warm is annoying and one gets used to a certain temperature – I think I can feel what is "safe" regarding my chest). However, going out is a big problem with the current spell of cold cold weather and I'm holding off going outside until the respiratory issues settle. Frustrating, but necessary. Now, I'm actually trying to picture someone with three old-fashioned lap-tops slung from each shoulder but am finding it hard. My tiny build would never have supported that. To be honest, I'm finding it harder and harder with the shopping bags now and I'm just a youngster comapared to you, Carol and Billy (still only in my fifties) tending to do more and more trips and carrying less and less. However, since going on the bus (after avoiding it for ages) is probably how I got the cold it'll be a case of balancing risks. Sadly, I can't drive at present, which is a shame as I love driving. It's such a nuisance not having anyone to help with driving. My friend couldn't get to visit me in hospital because of transport issues which really upset him. You're so right about not overdoing things btw. I also understand what leads your daughter to over-do things. People get fed up of "playing it safe". But also your daughter has a big heart and puts herself out for others. You can't knock a generous heart. Thanks again for cheering me up. Love Rose xx

Hello friends, I've kept my head down as I kept getting a sore throat so I stayed home and got better.  I do not want to miss the run up to Christmas as its quite busy for me.  Ballet tomorrow but I've had T order a knee brace, mine keeps giving out on me and a one legged ballet sugar Plum fairy is not a good look!  Friday I'm doing a hospital place inspection, Saturday I'm meeting Olwen, she was my bridesmaid, a catch up with coffee and cake, my favourite past time.  Sunday I'm putting my wreath up not a Christmas tree this year, it's too hard for me to not do it without Norman.  Monday I have a meeting because Tuesday is my presentation at the Raddisin Blu Hotel in Durham, I've now been invited for lunch.  Wednesday Margaret and I are having a night out before I leave.  So lots going on.  My cards have been sent and  I'll wrap some presents on Sunday ready to send off.  I bumped into Maureen today it's 8 years today since Trevor died, little Phoebe has croup and she is feeling very down, we stood and moaned about how cold it is and how much the heating is costing!!  I'm pleased to hear about how well you are all doing now and Billy I think about you a lot please tell me what is happening when you have time.  So I'm signing off now.  Love to you all. Carol xx 

Hi dear Carol and friends. 

First chemo session went ok Monday, only 1/2 hour late going in. Plenty of meds to bring home and some syringes to inject myself start on Friday keep white blood cells up, as had problems last sessions years ago.  Starting to get tummy rumbling today but nothing else yet .

Brenda is worried, to be expected really. 

But she's feeling ok just her legs playing up. 

Carers coming all different times again a real pain. 

Planning on having a quiet Christmas just us and a nice duck and plenty of veg, freezing here already house lovely and warm 22°c .duvet at the ready 

Bella had a tummy bug for a week, luckily still had bed pads around, and a good carpet cleaner. 

Love Billy xxxx 

Blimey Carol, you are a busy bee.

I am painting another dog!  The one I did as a paid commission has been well received and no quibble at the price.  My daughter said it was worth twice that.  She would, she gets hers as freebies.  That is what I'm doing at the moment.  She knew I was doing Smudge as a Christmas present, and I'm thrilled with it. I think it was the extra love I put into every brush stroke. Smudge was very special and we both adored him.  The one I did for her to give as a present to her friend was a good likeness and my daughter says she just hopes it doesn't make her friend cry, because the painting is of her little dog who is no longer with us.  A few weeks ago my daughter made a comment that we didn't have any paintings I.e. I hadn't done any, of Meg, the first dog we had who was part Sheltie, and got us interested in them.  Needless to say, Mummy has started painting Meg.  I'm going to give her Meg, for Christmas, as a surprise, and she will get Smudge on her birthday in the New Year.

It is freezing here, the frost hasn't melted all day.  I am well wrapped up in my many layers.  I saw an article yesterday saying that laundry doesn't  need heat to dry, it just need a flow of air.  The writer tested clothes that were dried using just a fan, much less electricity used than a heater, so I tried it today and I have to say it worked.  

My son FaceTimed me while I was pottering about and remarked on how well wrapped up I seemed and said he hoped I wasn't turning down the heating or anything stupid like that.  I think I have said before he is very (over)protective of me.  I lied and said just because I wasn't  wearing a tee shirt didn't mean the house was cold!  It was!  He then said he had sent me some money "for my birthday", to go out and buy myself something nice. Yesterday I received my Christmas presents from him that I had asked for, some art materials that I probably wouldn't have treated myself to, otherwise.  I don't really get anything separate for my birthday as it is so close to Christmas.  Last year I asked for a new printer for Christmas and got an IPad as well.  When I checked my bank,  he had sent me enough money to pay for my heating all winter!  He's crafty, he knew I wouldn't let him give me money for that but how can I turn down a birthday present.  I am very grateful, I can sit in the cold, but if I don't have to.....

Have a fabulous time at your daughter's, Carol.  I don't think ballet is really the best exercise for dodgy knees, I know I certainly couldn't contemplate it, but, hey! whatever works for you. Stay warm and let them pamper you!

Billy, I hope you got your transport, for the chemo, sorted, and it doesn't knock you for six. I'm glad you are keeping warm.The temperature here hasn't risen above 3 degrees all day and it is -1 at the moment and going down to -3 overnight and won't get up to freezing point until 11am tomorrow!  We are paying for the mild Autumn now!

Rose, it's lovely to hear you sounding much happier.  You know you must stay indoors when the temperatures are as low as they are at the moment. I'm sure you do, I must sound like a mother hen!  Hopefully you will stay well, despite the winter weather.

Lots of love to you all 

Christine xx

Hi Christine, managed ballet with my knee strapped up, waiting for my knee support to arrive as the one I've git is cutting off the blood supply, that should cure my knee, no blood.  The miserable guy who was framing Harry's hockey poster texted, it's ready so a quick shower in what hut water was left and I collected it, he's made a lovely job of it.  Same here today 3 degrees and flakes of snow when I went out.  I admire how clever you are, I did try to join an art class but it was full so I gave up, maybe next year when it starts again.  I'm sat watching a street cat named Bib, it's a true story and is quite entertaining.  My daughter texted saying hello little old lady are you keeping warm!  Cheeky monkey.  I mean I can afford to put the heating on but the cost of doing so makes my blood boil, the poor people who have no money must be freezing, what a state we're in when we are spending hundreds of thousands on immigrants who aren't even fleeing war torn countries, it's a wonder we haven't rioted.  So keep warm and finish those portraits.  Xx

Hello friends, I've actually put decorations up today, Lisa said I would be more depressed from not doing it and she is right, my hearth looks lovely and the candles are lit, reindeer and furry sheep have been positioned and I've put our old santa in the conservatory, it's been a family tradition for years and I couldn't just leave him sat in the bag.  We've had a load of snow so it looks very pretty, my wreath has been hung on the front door but the lights have given up on me, so four batteries and a miniature screwdriver are needed, they are staying unlit!  Lisa face timed me from their dog walk it was like a winter wonderland, so different from the summer when Zippy and I would huff and puff our way round in the boiling heat.  Tugs has driven up to the cottage to put a tree up and warm the place through so not sure if I'll see him, I feel guilty now for not putting the tree up for them but it's freezing and no heat in the cottage would not help me when I'm just feeling a little better.  So hopefully you're all OK.  Xx

Really pleased you got some decorations up, Carol. They do make a difference. Mine are up now too. Am feeling very festive after a trip to see the local palace decorations along with a light trail. I had also had a beautiful walk out and about today – chest has finally "recovered" – a light dusting of snow and the frozen spider's webs really caught the eye. My friend had a melt-down in the shop (self-service tills).  Afterwards, he told me it was fun shouting "Help!, Help!" and that he'd rather "make an adventure of misfortune" than be depressed by it...

One of Brenda's carers said she was dazzled by our tree lighting so i said how many people do you go to with a tree up she said just ours, nobody else has anything up, very surprised but thats way things are nowadays. 

Side effects kicked in other night, another 7 months to go. Still managing to keep house tidy, heating well up, managing meals ok but careful. Glad people have heating on and keeping warm especially when frost about or even snow. 

Take care everyone. 

Love Billy xxxx