Stay Strong

I have a busy day and come home to my lovely neighbour mowing my back lawn.  I chastise him and say  I would have got round to it, he knew I was struggling and came in whilst I was out.  These kindnesses make my day.  I think hubby is not looking well and voice my concerns.   Nope he says he's fine but a little niggle tells me otherwise.   I get up this morning and he admits he's not good..  appointment at Doctors and he has another infection.  I am being picked up by a friend to go to Wynyard Hall and gardens, the day is glorious and she has the soft top down,we arrive and I look like Bridget Jones after her ride in an open top car!  We have home made cake and coffee and meander the beautiful gardens looking at the pumpkins, sweetcorn and variety of flowers.  I suddenly spot a flower that hubby and I keep seeing  on our drives and it's driving him insane not knowing its name.  A lady hears us talking, takes a photo, Googles it and walks back to tell me, it's  called the common tansy. People are so thoughtful and kind!  Back home hubby laughs at the state of my hair, saying I look like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards,  charming!!  I tell him the plants name, lovely he says and promptly falls asleep on his sheepskin in the sunny conservatory.   Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon, I want my normal hubby back.

  • Dear Christine and Billy, I've just had my gas boiler serviced and it's blinking cold here again, yesterday was 2 degrees and freezing fog, I gave up trying to save money and put heating on twice as I noticed that the windows are now running with condensation which never happened when Norman was here!  My stupid smart meter allows me £2.50 allowance per day for a detached three bedroom house, that is not going to be kept to, I've received the winter fuel payment plus the extra cost of living payment and what the government are paying until April so I'm not going to freeze.  But like you yesterday I had underwear on, a vest, double layered long sleeve top, a cardigan with another cardigan over that, pop socks, socks, fluffy boots and a wool scarf, good job I was just growing roots into the sofa all day as it was difficult to move!  Faye rang me last night and was upset as she'd seen her consultant about her blood pressure and although she's lost 18lb in weight and has got her blood pressure down they want her to be text book weight and blood pressure, so they are talking about diuretics, statins and so on, she doesn't want to do that and I said they were being too harsh on her and making her feel worse, then she bashed the car door against the multi storey Car park wall and caved in the passenger door.  Anyway in the end we had a laugh as I told her someone had rung my doorbell at 4.40am yesterday morning and my car was on the drive so I worried that they were trying to pinch it, Mum she said they are not going to ring the doorbell and see if you're in if they want to steal the car!  She was worried about Alfie as he'd gone out without a coat on, he's fifteen now, listen I said just leave him be its his choice, then I said when she was fifteen I was always telling her to wear a coat and she always said there was no where to hang it, it would just be on the floor and everyone would walk over it and blah blah, so she laughed and said she remembered those conversations.  It's utterly cold again today but I need a break from the house as my knees are seizing up.  Keep warm, hang onto your money Christine, it's better in your bank than there's, at least we can afford to pay our bills and I don't know if you're aware but the government are helping us oldies until 2024, sorry I can't remember how old you are, so if I called you an oldie I'm sorry!!  Love Carol x 

  • Hi Carol,

    I have just got dressed and I have five layers on!  I switched the heating on for one hour, this morning just to clear the condensation from the windows, then switched it off again, despite the the thermostat in the hall saying 13 degrees.
    I must have missed something because I thought all government help was going to finish in April next year.  I hope it does continue. I'm 76 next month, so I do qualify as an oldie, for sure. 
     

    Stay warm!

    Christine xx

  • Hi Carol and Christine. Chaos again blood form never came despite phoned oncologist twice each week and told send another yesterday text from Dr's surgery closed as bugs. So no blood appointment now so got to arrange things,.phoned oncologist again and arranged for blood form to be done and I'll pick it up and get blood test done there.  , Got there this morning no form in reception told try chemo ward, no form after explaining to 3 different nurses told no details on computer, half hour later finally got details, then waiting another 1/2 hour and finally got form, blood took another 20 minutes so finally sorted, ready for chemotherapy on Monday. Yippee I don't think. 

    Hope you soon get sorted Carol, Christine were 22 ° at lowest temp 24/7 were keeping warm nomater what it costs. Especially with Brenda and don't know what I'll be like on chemo. Been in touch with adult social care and social services about care for Brenda while im away they said she can have carer for 1/4 hour extra, i could be away 6 hours and Brenda getting 3/4hour help, luckily a neighbour pops in now and again. Its a devil when we have to keep getting on at the experts and doing it ourselves in the end because nobody bothering. 

    Love Billy xxxx 

     

  • Hi you two, Billy do you get your payment for having cancer, we did and it helped, I'm so sick of people not doing their job it's getting paid for incompetence. Christine I was going out but have stayed home as its so cold.  My 500 pounds went in yesterday and the utility firm promptly took 300 of it!  So I've put my thicker cardigans back on plus scarf.  I've just returned the form for the pension that Norman had, they denied he had one and so I keft it, four weeks ago the paperwork arrived and after a multitude of errors on their part it's now signed and returned by registered post, let's see them deny having received it back.  So that's it for today, Stay warm back at you.  Xx

  • Dear Carol never got anything for having cancer would be nice to get something to help. 

    Same things as normally happened to us we get in touch with people who should help and get told nothing they can do like we don't exist.  Tried mackmillen, carers first, and plenty others. 

    Billy xxxx 

  • Hi Carol and Billy,

    l have just come in from a Christmas lunch at the local hospice cafe.  It was plentiful but I think my taste buds are giving up the ghost because I didn't find the starter or the main turkey dinner to be very tasty.  The dessert and coffee tasted fine, though, so I don't know!  The serving was very 'chef-y' all piled up in the middle of the plate,  I prefer it set out so you could see what you were eating. The company was good, though. We have been friends for more than twenty years now, and we were talking about how one year, one of us was worried about getting her granddaughter into the secondary school she wanted, and now that granddaughter is married with a baby on the way. Another was anxious about her son's"A" levels coming up and he has just been offered a huge promotion at his place of work, leading a team of troubleshooters. My daughter was going through a marriage breakup at the time, and, sadly, hasn't been in a relationship since!  However, that has been from choice, once bitten etc.!  In the meantime she has done very well for herself and has been able to take early retirement and pay off her mortgage, which is quite an achievement on her own!

    I had a FaceTime call with my son, yesterday, and I was all bundled up with my multiple layers of clothing and he asked why, so I said I was just going to take Archie out ( LIE, hangs head in shame) I then got a lecture about keeping warm and if I was struggling to pay the bills he would pay them! I knew that, anyway, but he doesn't understand the difference between not being able to pay and not wanting to pay!  I told him what a month of being really careful had cost, and he then told me the bill he got for his new house that he hasn't moved into yet was five times as much, from workmen putting the heating on and leaving lights on when they left at the end of the day. He said he doesn't mind paying it when he's used it, but is not happy otherwise.The house is five times the size of mine, however!

    Carol, I hope your pension form doesn't go astray again!  It's getting worse trying to get things sorted from any official organisation.  I just heard from my postman that they are going on strike next Friday and are all going to London on the train to protest! Apparently they are back at work on Saturday.  Just imagine what the post is going to be like this year, it's bad enough at Christmas any year.  I'd better get my cards posted soon. I don't usually bother until the week before Christmas so that I can include anyone that has sent me a card and I had forgotten to send them one! 

    Billy, I'm trying not to sound nosy here, but have you claimed everything you can from the government? Martin Lewis is doing his best to get everyone claiming what they are entitled to. I just hope you are being given the right advice and assistance in claiming what's yours by right. 

    Time to switch on the lights, the brightness from the screen allowed me to carry on typing while around me everything disappeared in the darkness. Only another three weeks and the days will start getting longer again!  My favourite day of the year isn't Christmas Day, it's the day we put the clocks forward, in the Spring, and the evenings get longer. I should prefer Winter, being born in December but I don't.

    On that note, I shall go!

    Take care, love,

    Christine xx
     

  • Billy,

    I just re read what you said about technology being for the under fifties.  You could be right!

     IT has been around for more than thirty years, now.  Twenty odd years ago, I was employed to carry laptops around to all the libraries in our borough, teaching small groups of people how to use Windows computers.  Most people just wanted to know how to send photos by email to family living overseas, how to access information on various subjects or how to use the various Microsoft Office applications. This was way before Social Media.and years before everything went online!   I was in my fifties then, and most of the people who came to learn were probably the age I am now.  Once the libraries started getting their own online computers my job became a lot easier because those laptops in those days were like suitcases they were so heavy and I used to carry about six of them at a time..  About 2001 I delivered an 8 week course in basic IT and Internet use to the ladies of the local Townswomens' Guild.  Some of the ladies were in their eighties, but they were as eager to learn and some of them picked it up just as easily as the younger people I taught during  the day.  The difference is that now everyone is just expected to get on with it without any tuition and that's the problem.  
    I'm just as hopeless as anyone else, these days, because once I retired I stopped updating my knowledge of computers and now I do everything  on my iPad or phone.  I got the shock of my life the other day when I switched on my laptop for the first time in ages and got a message from Microsoft telling me they weren't going to support Windows 8.1 after January next year and I should get a Windows 11 machine to cope with all the new stuff they offer.  I couldn't believe I'd had my current machine for over seven years.  I still haven't decided whether to just download a free copy of Windows 10 or to get a new machine or to just keep using the laptop without Internet.  I've got too many photos on the hard drive to just ignore the warning.  But now, I don't think I can be bothered to learn a new operating system. I think I'm too old!  I'll probably just use the laptop as storage for my photos. 
     

    Christine x

     

     

  • Hi dear Christine  my old laptop is set for XP,still using it for photos and games when Brenda will let me. Not very often lately. 

    The only help we ever had is attendance allowance.

    Didn't know we got paid to have cancer till it was mentioned. 

    Good luck to all at Christmas, plenty of food drink and fun. 

    Love Billy xxxx 

  • Hiya Billy

    I think the payment Carol mentioned may have been Attendance Allowance, but it's worth checking because you should both be getting everything going.

    Lovely day here today, I've had Bobbin all morning so he, Archie and I went for a lovely long walk. He's gone home now, thank goodness, so Archie can relax.

     Christine x

  • There's another benefit where Consultant thinks possible patient mightn't last more than 6 months. But some people find it very difficult to claim and there can be a need to weigh stress of claiming things. I had a GP sit me down to complete form to get Carer's Allowance for my daughter years ago but somehow I didn't qualify, which made me feel terrible at the time. All that work by GP who pushed me to do it in the surgery for nothing.  To be honest, I'm still really struggling with energy levels having got a very heavy cold and then a severe asthma flare-up just when I'd started to recover from the Covid. Thank goodness I keep emergency prednisolone at home as I'm not certain I'd have made it to the hospital in time. Thought I was a gonner as couldn't breathe and my whole body started convulsing with unstoppable coughs, and the impacts of that on the body were horrendous. I'd stupidly thought it was merely a post-viral cough. Luckily managed to get the prednisolone down and then turned the hot tap on and gave myself a steam inhalation emergency treatment. One good effect of a colder room is that it steams up quickly.  Feeling very humbled and grateful to be here. My daughter had the same eureka moment when she was about 6 after a GP started yelling (he thought she was going to die in front of him and he needed me to get the meds quicker than I was – you know when your fingers just start fumbling and it was in my handbag – hurry up mum we don't want to lose her and please don't bring her back here, next time go straight to hospital!!) I can recollect him making me listen to her chest as he proved there was virtually no air getting in as if to emphasize what an emergency there'd been and why he'd been yelling at me. Not normal behaviour for a doctor (he was on the thoracic advisory board too so it was his area of expertise, not like he was inexperienced or anything) Later when she was admitted to hospital, after a few night the hospital said there was nothing more they could do as all treatment options had been exhausted (PICU wasn't an option as her skin was too delicate) and best we just take her home and give her lots of TLC because staying on the ward was too risky (she had pneumonia as well as the asthma). I remember them wishing us luck and the look in the doctor's eyes – extremely serious, full of concern and I knew exactly what he was conveying especially as we'd already been told she didn't meet discharge guidelines and was only being allowed home because the doctors felt I could cope with all the routines they could offer in hospital (she was still on 6-10 puffs ventolin every 6 hours. equivalent to nebulisation, which is enough to make a child throw up and causes an extremely fast heart rate). When we went back for a ward review a week later, the doctors all looked so happy to see the improvement, saying they thought I'd have panicked and come back in (it had been extremely traumatic sleeping right by her bed listening to her breathing and I was absolutely exhausted, but what do you do when you know what your child might catch back on a respiratory ward and the doctors do the kindest thing in letting you go home because sometimes home is really the best place). I remember at the time I was told there was a special book (for patients at risk of death) and all I needed was to mention to reception staff that my daughter's name was in the book and I could be put on hold to wait to speak to a doctor. After all that, my daughter used to point out all the children's graves with people around her age and loudly announce "that would have been me, BUT for modern medicine", so what the doctors were saying went in, even though I tried to play it down. As you do with children not wanting to scare them. But somehow she wasn't scared just doesn't taken a single day for granted. And so brave when she was put on the government shielding list and when she had to then go into hospital because the latest meds had caused severe liver issues (amazingly it did regenerate but took months before the numbers came down, so they had to do an ultrasound and of course transplant will never now be an option as she'd had the reaction to the main immunosuppressant they give to stop organ rejection, though given for a different purpose. We had some very frank discussions at that time about what being on the shielding list could potentially mean treatment wise. I think because of what happened when she was a child she kind of simply accepted that not everyone can have every treatment. I really wish I'd had her stoicism through life. I've always lived in fear after my best friend died so young and medicine couldn't save her. That was cancer of course. But really looking back I should be more like my daughter because I've had a lot of extra years thanks to modern meds, an awful lot. So it's been a bit rough and tough recently but I'm feeling a lot more positive now today. And my friend is super-bouncy too, less annoyed about some of his ailments and even (unbelievably given how things have been) holding down his usual temporary Christmas job – it's an outdoor job requiring people to work Christmas Eve, Boxing day, New Year's Eve etc and there isn't a huge queue of people wanting to do it. He's got several septuagenarian fellow workers. A prime requirement seems to be being able to layer up in the best thermals possible, not mind wearing multiple sets of gloves and hats, and maintaining a beaming smile despite Christmas music playing over and over on a loop. It would drive me absolutely nuts and I can't bear cold air going into my lungs. So have been sneaking the heating on for the odd half hour when he's out (to take the edge off the chill) and making sure my toasty little LED heater stays on in my room. It's not worth taking a chance with respiratory conditions. How's the pleurisy Carol? As for technology, well mine is ancient. I too used to have some technical nous but screens seem to get smaller and smaller and a larger lap-top with decent battery life now costs a mini-fortune. Will therefore keep what I've got going as long as possible. 

    You do sound remarkably strong carrying all those lap-tops round Christine. I'm sure a lot of people were very grateful for all the tuition given. 

    Hope all goes well for you on Monday Billy. It's not going to be easy, but really hope you can tolerate this chemo after what happened last time. 

    Really pleased you have managed to get yourself so involved back in community life Carol. I really ought to take a leaf out of your book. I'm just so scared still of catching bugs given the possible impact. But living a bit dangerously might be better than not really living. So once I finish a couple of projects I've been working on at home then maybe I'll just chance it. Some of them were things I promised I'd do for my friend who died – I think I put so much pressure on myself trying to live not one but two lives. And I don't know anyone else who has had breakdowns like me whenever they start to grieve. In the hospital a member of staff just kept telling me she was dead. But I couldn't take it. So I've had to bottle it all back up, which must sound so ridiculous. Only the grieving didn't work for me. I thought I had to because I wasn't functioning properly. Sometimes it seems either way I'm stuck. Oh dear this is probably the most appalling ramble. Anyway I think I have to keep trying different options. And now I've had Covid and once I'm over this awful patch I have to ask myself whether getting out a lot more might be the only avenue not yet explored. It might be a disaster. But nothing else really worked. And I'm definitely not a quitter. So we'll see. Anyway thanks for all your interesting tales. Sorry mind is just a bad ramble. I really do need to start living a more interesting life obviously. Once I can find some energy, of course.

    Love Rose xxx