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Dor06
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I have a busy day and come home to my lovely neighbour mowing my back lawn.  I chastise him and say  I would have got round to it, he knew I was struggling and came in whilst I was out.  These kindnesses make my day.  I think hubby is not looking well and voice my concerns.   Nope he says he's fine but a little niggle tells me otherwise.   I get up this morning and he admits he's not good..  appointment at Doctors and he has another infection.  I am being picked up by a friend to go to Wynyard Hall and gardens, the day is glorious and she has the soft top down,we arrive and I look like Bridget Jones after her ride in an open top car!  We have home made cake and coffee and meander the beautiful gardens looking at the pumpkins, sweetcorn and variety of flowers.  I suddenly spot a flower that hubby and I keep seeing  on our drives and it's driving him insane not knowing its name.  A lady hears us talking, takes a photo, Googles it and walks back to tell me, it's  called the common tansy. People are so thoughtful and kind!  Back home hubby laughs at the state of my hair, saying I look like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards,  charming!!  I tell him the plants name, lovely he says and promptly falls asleep on his sheepskin in the sunny conservatory.   Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon, I want my normal hubby back.

  • Offline in reply to Billygoatt

    Dear Carol, So sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't post on here much but always read your posts. When my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer you were the first person to offer help and support. I hope that you get the help that you need and it will make this process easier for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.

     

  • Offline in reply to Homebird

    Lisa has just left to travel to the cottage, after cooking me tea, lots of tears and love all around.  Norman has slept all day, apart from when Zippy jumped on his bed and licked him all over, it made him smile and he and Lisa had a little chat whilst Zippy and I did a little doggie walk in the fresh air.  The nurse came and his bed sores are dressed and because they are weeping a better ointment has been applied, I was right the flesh is dying but apparently that's normal.  I've been offered a night sitter but have said to let me cope whilst he sleeps, it's good to k ow it can be put in place.  The carers came at 7.30pm but Norman could hardly speak and to disturb him would have been cruel.  My main concern is the lack of food and fluids but she says he is not in imminent fear of dying, perhaps he has been so lacking in sleep that he is catching up.  Lisa will be back tomorrow and we may get him bathed and downstairs but tomorrow is another day.  Thank you so much for all the love, prayers and support and Jenn thank you for the suppor from your team.  Lots of love to you all, Carol x x 

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    I've been up and down most of the night, Norman was in fear of falling out of bed trying to get him back in the middle was not easy.  He keeps telling me he's fine, darling go back to bed, he is so worried about me becoming ill.  I sat and stroked his matted hair and his bruised arms and decided to call Faye first thing.  Lisa had managed to take my mobile with her as we are all on another planet.  Thank goodness for landlines.  Norman won't drink and I think deep down he knows this is how he wants to die, peaceful in his own bed.  The carers will be here in two minutes, I'm sending them away, Lisa and I will tidy him up.  I've called the District nurses and they are coming out to put his driver in as he is struggling to swallow.  So soon I'll have my two daughters here with me,  Noman may rally a little when he sees them but I truly can't see him recovering from this, this time.  I maybe wrong but I hope not because seeing him awake and in agonising pain is not want we want, I didn't want my marriage to you to end this way he said, then we started having a chat about Benny Hill and the fastest milkman in the West.  So there is still humour there and love.  Carol xx

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Dear carol ,we are all thinking of you and Norman, sending you lots of love . STAY STRONG .

    Love Billy xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    My thoughts and prayers are with you Carol.  

    You do whatever you think is best for both of you.

    River xx

     

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Dear Carol, What a very distressing time you and your family are having, unfortunately, there is nothing that any of us can do on a practical level (believe me, if I lived nearer I would) so its good to hear that your girls have come to support you, it's always a comfort to have family members around! I am sending you all the virtual hugs I can muster. I will keep You, Norman and your family very much in my thoughts and hope that you get some much needed peace and rest. Love Thelma x

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Dear Carol,

    Still can't find the right words but with tears rolling down my cheeks, I send my best regards and wishes to you, Norman and your family. May you all find peace.

     

    Taff

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    We're thinking of you, Norman and your family during this difficult time, Carol. There is certainly so much love and humour between you two and I hope that this strong love gives you the strength you both need at the moment. 

    Sending hugs your way, 

    Lucie

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Carol

    My heart goes out to you both, no, to you all, and I just hope you will have some help to cope. 
    Take care of yourself. xxx

  • Offline in reply to Sheltie_Lady

    Faye and Lisa have left and are exhausted. Mum we don't know how you've coped. All the washing, changing beds again even though the nurses had been earlier and changed the bed putting an air mattress on which of course didn't work as Norman can't push himself up while on it and it's a single one instead of a double so he kept rolling off it. Why didn't you tell us sooner they said about the slog you've had. Well let's see, he arrived home Tuesday night, Wednesday morning I'm told it would be months of this and as I've never done this before, how would I know to call you both. I came to bed at 9pm and by 11pm I'm back up as Normans struggling to breathe with sweat pouring off him and as grey as a sheet. He's decided he wants shredded wheat for breakfast and did I buy bananas?  I've given him morphine, sat with him until he has calmed down and am now wide awake. This is all so cruel and heartbreaking it's hell on earth seeing your loved one struggling for breath. I'm going to try and sleep again but it's not looking promising. Love to you all. Carol x

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