Probably because I don't know how!  Give me a clue what to do. Caz

Pardon me for interfering when I have only just read your posts but could you present him with a fait accompli by having your daughter and her family (I read where they visited previously) arrive to care for him for 24 hours while you have a break.  Being family it would not be so bad hopefully!

My daughters have offered but they live hundreds of miles away and have young children aged five and six.  School, jobs, husband's who work long hours and hubby would feel bad wrenching them away.  Today is a better day.Thanks for the advice. Caz.x

Today is a better day, apart from the  blizzard    I don't want to talk about yesterday as everything was against us and because I have been a little unwell myself my patience was stretched to breaking point.Lovely people on this forum have offered advice and thoughts and that helped me a great deal.  A good night's sleep and I feel calmer today and hubby,  although in pain is also happier in his frame of mind.  Because we don't know where we are with the effects of the treatment our heads are in a muddle.  We have to get through the next few weeks and even if the news is not good, we will cope with the known rather than the unknown.  Lots of tea, warmth and Sunday Papers are keeping us occupied, suduko for me, cross word puzzles for him.  Sister in law calls, nephew going in for op on his knee tomorrow so we will try and see him Wednesday.  Blood test results and wound checking tomorrow if we can get off the drive.  Hopefully my lovely neighbour will help, either without asking or if I need to.  It's snowing in Surrey but son in law has still managed a bike ride, he is competing in the French 1,200mile bike ride next month,  he raises a lot of money for charity and has to practice for hours each day.  Take care all of you I am content today and I can't ask for more than that.  See you tomorrow. Xx

Glad you’re feeling a bit better Caz. Look after yourself. 

Thanks for caring, it's lonely being a Carer especially at this time of the year!!  

I’m on the other end of this but I’ve

been where you are to some extent. 

I know the area between Barnard Castle and North Yorkshire (which you have mentioned in your posts) although I haven't been there much recently.  I was born in the North East and we often travelled through Weardale and Teesdale for things like bramble picking and visiting a relative in Brampton.  Also I used to go to Leyburn quite a bit to see a friend there.  A couple of years ago my sister and I rented a house in Alston for two weeks, stopping off at Barnard Castle en route and it was lovely.  But the moors can be bleak in bad weather.  I seem to remember a great aunt ran the post office in Irishopeburn but that was when I was very young. Not sure why I am telling you this but as you get older you think of the simpler times of our youth!  It has been a very wet day in London and the washing machine, which really needs replacing, has packed up.  I am trying to see if the filter is blocked but realise that although I have watched others do it I really don't know how to do it myself.  Dog and I have just had a snooze on the settee and just thought I would say hello.

That is so of you to tell me your knowledge of our area.   We had a caravan at Slaggyford near Alston and I spent a lot of good weekends there with my brother. it's certainly very snowy and cold here at the moment and difficult to get about.  I was brought up in Chingford and ended North because of my Father's business.   I hated it compared to my happy warm Southern life but eventually met and married a Northerner,  had two girls, who  graduated and went South,  married  and stayed there!  Life is funny when you think about it and I love the North but lover  going South.  This has not happened for over a year due to cancer ruling my life.  I miss travelling but can't see me going very far at all as hubby is too unwell to leave.  Keep in touch it's lovely to know other forum users background.   Love Carol

Another cold snowy day, this makes it difficult for us to get about.  I patch him up, he's toe is really painful and we are back to seeing the nurse today so she can check it.  I bump into two of my zumba friends at the surgery, one has torn tendons inher knee the other has had a cold, flu and now sinitus has set in, I try to chat but am aware that I am backing away gradually,  I don't need her germs!!!  Crikey I am so careful around people I'm  sure they think I am not interested in talking to them anymore,  which is not true but as we all know cancer rules our lives,even down to how we handle friends.  Hubby declares that he needs to go back into his wheelchair to help the wounds heal.  I don't comment because I know he won't.   We get home,shall I get the chair out for you?  No I'll give it a bit longer, I know him better than himself  .  His blood test is fine for sugar which is one good bit of news.  We are home now and it's so cold we will not be going anywhere else today.  Is it too early for dressing gown and slippers?   Only joking, I need to feel in control and you never know who might call. See you tomorrow. 

I get up ready for zumba but hubby has a large swelling on his elbow and the surgery won't see him until the first week of February.   I ring again, that is not good enough,  he has cancer,  open wounds a prosthetic leg and they want to leave  him in pain again.  I ask if we can go private but it is now two hours since I called and as promised no one has called me back.   Hubby is upset, he is stopping me from leading a life he says,  I tell him what is done is done and we have no choice but to go with how he is feeling.  This is why he gets cross because he is aware that life is being ruled by his illness and you always take it out on the one you love.   Our nephew had his knee op yesterday,  a plate and six pins, he is a PGA golfer and needs both legs, so it's a big thing for him.  He texts to say he has had to stay overnight as every time he stands up he faints!  He is so like my brother, his Dad, that I smile to myself,  he can't stand,  doctors,  demtists or blood.   I had to have a blood transfusion once and the nurse had to drape a tea towel over the bag so he didn't faint when he visited!!  Anyway I'll give them another hour and I will call again, I know reception have a hard job but hubby is having a harder life. See you tomorrow. 

I get up ready for zumba but hubby has a large swelling on his elbow and the surgery won't see him until the first week of February.   I ring again, that is not good enough,  he has cancer,  open wounds a prosthetic leg and they want to leave  him in pain again.  I ask if we can go private but it is now two hours since I called and as promised no one has called me back.   Hubby is upset, he is stopping me from leading a life he says,  I tell him what is done is done and we have no choice but to go with how he is feeling.  This is why he gets cross because he is aware that life is being ruled by his illness and you always take it out on the one you love.   Our nephew had his knee op yesterday,  a plate and six pins, he is a PGA golfer and needs both legs, so it's a big thing for him.  He texts to say he has had to stay overnight as every time he stands up he faints!  He is so like my brother, his Dad, that I smile to myself,  he can't stand,  doctors,  demtists or blood.   I had to have a blood transfusion once and the nurse had to drape a tea towel over the bag so he didn't faint when he visited!!  Anyway I'll give them another hour and I will call again, I know reception have a hard job but hubby is having a harder life. See you tomorrow. 

Hi there.  It is difficult when you can see everyone's point of view but sometimes you just have to put your loved one first.  I have sat in the waiting room at the GP surgery and seen/heard the staff there taking so much abuse and funnily enough it is often not the major things that you could unerstand but patients seem to kick off over such minor things sometimes.  I am not putting you in that category!  I am too much the other way.  There are two separate surgeries which constitute our local GPs' surgery.  I sat for half an hour last time I went before realising that I was in the wrong place but hadn't liked to ask because I knew how busy they all were.  Silly signing-in pc lets you sign in for either surgery whether you are supposed to be there or not.  If a helpful receptionist hadn't asked if I was there I would probably still be sitting there now.

I know, that is why I am always polite to them!  I worked for Her Majesties court services and every week I had to do a day on Reception,  the abuse people aim at you because they are angry is awful but it should be 8n your nature not to abuse others trying to help.   We did the same as you, two parts of surgery and we hadn't heard them call us, so sat waiting patiently until we realised

I dread to think what the wind is like up your way.  I had done a temporary repair on my back garden fence (after the last heavy winds) but it has gone all haywire again overnight.  It will just have to stay like that for the moment.  And I will have to apologise to the (very nice) family who live behind me because my fence is now leaning a bit on theirs.  It doesn't help that the people who live a bit further down the road have bunged a load of rubbish into the gap between the fences and I had to climb over that to reach my own fence from behind in order to push it up.  Still, it'll get sorted eventually. 

I worked in public sector housing for most of my career and though I was the manager of my office and didn't have to do much of the counter work I always tried to do a session from time to time to keep my hand in so to speak.  Most people were lovely and understanding but my goodness there were some awful people who felt the world owed them a living.  I often felt like saying "Shall I come round and wipe your a..e  for you while I am doing (whatever minor thing they were moaning about)" but of course I didn't.

It's extremely windy but all the snow has gone.  Our neighbour does fencing as a side line so ours are pretty sturdy  Anyway the surgery finally call me and we have an appointment this afternoon.   It just goes to show that shy bairns get nowt.  As they say up North.  My nephew is home but I will not go to see him as the appointment is in the middle of the afternoon.   I go to zumba but am so unfit I struggle through  the class, now the snow has gone I can go for a walk each day, as long as I don't get blown over.  I get home and hubby is unhappy with his wound dressings so we do them again.  This has been weeks now and I am worried about them not healing at all.  Hopefully the folic acid will start working soon and I notice he is shaking with the effort of moving.  It's distressing but there is nothing more that can be done and being a man he doesn't want to upset me more, so he says nothing.  You see all these people saying I won't let cancer beat me, but it's beating us Down.  See you tomorrow. Xx

I have actually had a nice day!  No snow, wind or rain and I'm taking a friend out for her birthday lunch.  All I have to do is patch hubby up, empty the bins put the washing  out and I'm off.  I make sure hubby is going to be alright going to the surgery on his own,he has had a better night after ten mils of fluid has gone from his elbow.  Our younger her daughter is coming home for half term and will be here when we hopefully get some results.  I pick my friend up and we go shopping and have lunch.  I find a pair of velcro slippers in the sale that hubby can wear on both feet without struggling and hurting  his toe or trying to walk with one shoe and one slipper!  A bargain jumper in the woolen mill for me and a book for Harry who is seven next month.   Back home hubby seems happy and they have given him a spray on plaster,  which she says is the last resort,  she has run out of ideas!!  I'm using old fashioned vaseline and this seems better than all the fancy seaweed, silver and all the other supposedly better remedies.   I am at the dentist tomorrow to be fitted for a guard for my teeth. I have practically ground them away over the past year so after nearly seventy years of hanging on to them I need some help A positively normal day.WOW. x

Well that's weird I wrote a post yesterday but it's disappeared! !   I had a lovely day with my brother who took me into Richmond for lunch, we drove around three times looking for a parking space until we thought we would have to chuck him out to get fish and chips and I would pick him up on my fourth circuit,  but I spotted a space used my rallying experience and nabbed it before anyone else!  Lunch in the Kings Head and then go and get my nephew whose on crutches and wants a lift, he forgets to tell me the junction to his house is closed so I have to travel to junction 52 and go back on myself!  Luna the puppy is pleased to see me but her sharp teeth nearly rip my finger open when she jumps excitedly and grabs my hand.   Off we go again, back home and hubby seems OK but is in discomfort as he is allergic to the new plaster we put on that morning.  Anyway I have certainly paid for having two days out as I have just sat down for the first time since 9.00 am this morning.   After sharp words this morning the wheel chair is back in the house and hopefully this will help him to heal.   It means more work for me but I will do that to heal his wounds.   You forget how much room a chair takes up and with the crutches and numerous walking sticks I am struggling to get about myself  so I have just sat to write this, watch some television and I think my wine bottle may be coming out of the fridge soon.  Take care all of you, see you tomorrow .

Hello.  Glad you enjoyed your day out.  The weather has reverted to wet and windy here in London; yesterday was okay - given the time of year - but today is horrid.  I just brought Muffin the dog in and he has rubbed himself all over the furniture and carpets  to get the wet out of his curly hair.  He wouldn't let me rub him down with a towel.  I bought him a squashy ball in the reduced bin in the supermarket but he seems to have bitten through it already.  The label says "This toy is strong but not indestructible..............."

Richmond - another memory of my youth.  I was camping with  the girl guides just outside there; we were pitched on a farm.  The farmer's son was the subject of great admiration by the older guides.  One night one of my friends and I snuck out of our tents and went to meet him.  All totally innocent; we sat and drank one small bottle of cider between the three of us and that was it really.  Unfortunately one of the younger guides noticed I was missing and went to tell Captain.  We were found and had to spend the last two days of camp cleaning the cooking pots.  Oh dear.  I was blamed for being the ringleader which annoyed me.  My friend was annoyed that it was said she just followed me whereas she felt she was quite capable of getting into trouble by herself.  But I came back and stayed at the farm at the invitation of the farmer and his wife; it all petered out but it was a nice summer.

Look after yourself and keep a good stock of wine bottles; you don't half work hard.

Thanks for the lovely story, it's nice to here others lives!   Well after being allergic to the new plasters which inflamed his wound badly I resorted to slapping Elizabeth Arden eight hour cream on his bum,  despite him objecting loudly, as he was face down at the time he didn't have much choice and lo and behold today it looks a lot better.   Anyway he spent all day in his wheelchair and things look a little better,  pity he wouldn't do this three weeks ago, it would have saved a lot of time and worry for all of us  we are cancelling the nurse tomorrow as nothing is infected and going to the surgery causes more problems than it solves.   Hopefully we can get to our important scan on Tuesday without much damage.  He fell out of bed last night (I don't know how as he has a whole double bed to himself )  so being jammed down the side of the bed and cabinet didn't give him much room to manoeuvre,  my daughter sent us a mattress topping from John Lewis for his bed sores but he is like the princess and the pea on top of it and this meant he fell further than he would normally,  oh well swings and roundabouts and all that!  Anyway a day at home for us both as my legs ached so much this morning I was staggering around like a little old lady (I know I'm rapidly reaching seventy but I still feel young)  until this morning that is.!!  Beef again for tea to build him up and perhaps hId wounds are on the mend.  See you tomorrow. Xx

He's knocked the plaster off his toe again so first job of the day! But he managed to stay in bed this time.  I have had a horrible nights sleep I am grinding my teeth and chewing the inside of my mouth, thus the dentist visit last week to have a splint made, this gives me horizon headaches and my first thing in the morning is two paracetamol with my cup of tea,  instead of toast!  Hubby is being good and using his wheelchair so I am optomistic that he should heal.  We seem to be in a different head space due to the scan tomorrow it is giving us a goal. Apart from the usual housework I seem to be having a more gentle day and tea is left overs so no cooking either.   Our lovely neighbour pops in for a man chat and this cheers him up no end.   Friends want us to go out but I explain that we will let them know when he is ready, I think the folic acid is kicking in and that this will help with the lethargy he seems to have..  Not much else to report,  see you after scan tomorrow. Xx

So I leave him safely in bed and escape to zumba.  I come home at 11 am to find him munching on toast and marmalade.   Er aren't you supposed to not eat before the scan, oh no he says it's just a normal scan, I don't think so it's the main one,  get letter out and nothing to be eaten for four hours before!  It's  a bloody good job the scan isn't until after 3pm or we would be back to square one, it's  like looking after a grown toddler Anyway the leg is healing but being him he has to walk and is in pain again by the time we get back, I make him take the leg off and hide it upstairs, he would keep wearing it if I didn't and we would end up going backwards!  I am just starting to manage to escape after four weeks I am not going to be housebound again because he is stubborn.  Anyway we now have a two week wait for the outcome, so another period of not knowing what stage we are at.  See you tomorrow.