Probably because I don't know how!  Give me a clue what to do. Caz

Well I baste hubby like a Christmas turkey but have not used plain vaseline cream and he is on fire!  We have to go upstairs where we position him on a mat and wash him down.  No flannels or sponges allowed, no scrubbing just hands and soap, but now I have cold hands he moans making him shiver.  Crikey I am losing patience with the constant having to see to him no matter what I may be doing myself!!   Still only fifteen sessions left.  He then tells me that having seen himself in the three way mirrors at the hospital he is going on a diet, plus the fact his beloved grandaughter has told him he not only has a fat tummy but a fat bum! !  Glad I missed out on those observations! !  I tell him he needs to concentrate on getting better first, this is accepted and he eats all his tea (plus fruit loaf later when he thinks I'm not looking ).  Fourteen sessions to go.

Todayis a quiet day.  Chatting to neighbours in the sunshine,  hubby won't come out, he is becoming a little unsociable.   His mind is always on getting better,  getting through the treatments and coming out the other end with good results.   He has a review today so I am anxiously awaiting his return home.  I bump into my friend opposite and she is hanging out the flags as her daughter and fiance are moving to a new home today and she is getting her home back.  She has only been in this house a couple of years,  she left her hubby when the dog died and she realised she had no one to talk to anymore! !  She makes me laugh and we have a quick natter, thank goodness for good friends.  X

I am so cross with myself,  hubby had his review and said all is going well, this gave me the confidence to finally check the statistics on cancer survival, only to find that things have not changed in the past forty years and that the survival rate for stage 4 lung cancer at his age is only one to two years from diagnosis.  Is this true?  We have already gone six months through the treatment, where does that leave us?  Do I speak to our Mc Millan nurse and ask the dreaded question that neither of us have asked since diagnosis, or do I carry on being positive for him knowing he wants to live as long as possible.  Help me in this all of you, I am lost and afraid again.

Hi Carol. It is a question we want to ask too but like you don't want to hear the answer. When he was first diagnosed the consultant told us that if he had the treatment (radiotherapy and chemotherapy) he could have up to 5 years. I feel that is best case scenario , the uncertainty is what is driving us crazy. I try to keep positive with my husband but when I am alone my mind goes into overdrive and that is when I can't cope. This vile disease has taken over our lives, we are all in the same boat I fear. 

Much love to you and yours, I haven't been any help in answering your question but I am thinking of you and hoping that you find some peace of mind. 

Chris

Thank you Chris, I have tried so hard to stay positive and will take your five year survival rate as a goal to aim for.  I keep busy but you are right our alone moments take us to dark places.   Thinking of you and all in this daily struggle.   Csrol

Hi Caz

I find it best to try and forget about the numbers and just get through one thing at a time - like the treatment.

I was told 17% chance of survival but when is that calculated from. My gynaecologist counts from discovery so that's 3 years later this month. My Oncologist counts from the completion of treatment so that's 27 months. The doctor I usually see at my checkup counts from my last scan when everything was clear so that won't be 2 years until November.

I know appointments and treatment take over your life but try to carry on as normal as possible around that.

I am under Doctors orders to get on with my life go on holiday so that's exactly what I am doing. You don't know what is round the corner.

river

Live in the moment.

Well said river.

Regards

Taff

Hi River,  I think I am just going to do what I have been doing since diagnosis and live each day as fully as possible.   My Grandad died of lung cancer when I was expecting my first daughter and the image of his five and a half stone body in stripey pyjamas has stayed with me forever,  this was my first image when hubby was diagnosed, I couldn't bear that for him.  A holiday sounds marvellous our daughter is talking about sending us away after radiotherapy,  that would be lovely if I can persuade him to go!  Many thanks for your upbeat message.   Caz

Short and to the point Taff,  my kind of man!!

Hubby is upbeat and says he is feeling good.  The chemo seems to have worn off and he is moving around a little better, he has dressed nicely, but not shaved as it is white like his hair since chemo, I have to rub my hands over his chin so he can prove his point!  It's a beautiful day so he goes to Richmond to check his golf buggy,  people have been using it with his permission friends have told him and using his petrol.  Very annoyed he states, just because it hasn't moved for many months doesn't give them the right to use it.  I get a letter from Solicitors saying I am being sued for negligence after my minor bump before chemo the other week.  Great another problem to sort out, especially when I wasn't at fault! Talk about spoiling a good day.   Stay strong all of you out there.  X

Hubby is upbeat and says he is feeling good.  The chemo seems to have worn off and he is moving around a little better, he has dressed nicely, but not shaved as it is white like his hair since chemo, I have to rub my hands over his chin so he can prove his point!  It's a beautiful day so he goes to Richmond to check his golf buggy,  people have been using it with his permission friends have told him and using his petrol.  Very annoyed he states, just because it hasn't moved for many months doesn't give them the right to use it.  I get a letter from Solicitors saying I am being sued for negligence after my minor bump before chemo the other week.  Great another problem to sort out, especially when I wasn't at fault! Talk about spoiling a good day.   Stay strong all of you out there.  X