Hello my dear forum buddies - I cant thank you enough for your support and am sorry I have been absent for a while - was a bit lost for a few weeks but now accepting the new situation and coming to terms with it.

I have had the go-ahead for brain cyberknife and have had preparations - the treatment will be on Wednesday this week.  I havent felt too well but have had a much better day today thank goodness. Apart from a harsher chemo regime starting on the 13th, I really dont know what else may be done over the next few weeks to try and stabilise me a little - but I will let you know when I can.  Our lovely daughter and her boyfriend have decided to marry within the next 3months - so that is wonderful news!

Sending so much love to you all and know that I am so lucky to have you all routing for me.  Take care x

Jules .... I hope work goes well for you this week. You are in my thoughts every day x

Thank you Max. Being at work does help with the 'keeping life normal' and reminds me what day of the week it is.

Hope that following surgery you are getting plenty of tlc (of course you are!) and you too are ever present in my daily thoughts.Peaceful hugs are sent your way.  Jules xx

Hi Max,

Just wanted to say I love your new avatar. Animals all have their own charachter and Alfie seems to have it in abundance. Think he thinks its a space helmet. Animal do have this way of spreading fun, laughter and happiness.

Years ago when our son was still at school, he used to go to ATC. He would come home and as soon as he took his boots off, our cat named Sooty would put his head right inside if his boots which we found hard to understand as at the time our son had very smelly feet. You could see Sooty breathing very deeply Max and this always used to make us laugh. I couldnt think of a worse punishment than smelling my sons boots and here was our cat loving every minute of it and he used to get quite upset when our son put his boots in the cupboard. He literally adored our son and was more his cat than anyone elses

Take care Max, wishing you all the best, Brian.

Hi Brian and all my lovely forum friends...... Sorry I have been a little absent but started the new chemo a week ago and have spent most of my time in bed or on the loo up until yesterday when I needed a day in hospital being rehydrated.  Feel so much better today - eaten well and had a nice day out of the bathroom haha!  Lets hope that it will stay that way and I will now get a couple of good weeks before the next infusion, I can cope with that!

Glad you like my new avatar picture Brian!  I am so very glad that we got Alfie - he is the sweetest dog I have ever come across - so kind and well-behaved and a constant source of joy.  Every time I look at that picture I melt and just think he is so very cute.

Sending my love to everyone and speak soon x

Hi Max, so sorry you had a rough go of the chemo, but glad to hear your symptoms have now subsided, at least till next time. That chemo journey is a hard road to be on and takes the good right out of you. How many treatments in total do your have to have? or are you trying not to think of any more for now? My heart goes out to you Max.

I love your little dog Alfie; he is so cute. When I saw this recent picture of him, he looked like he has one of those "lampshades" on his snout, you know the ones they put on them after they have had surgery for spay or neuter. What is it that he has on his face there? Whenever I had my shelties spayed/neutered, they hated those lampshades. One dog, Tripper, would actually hang his and sulk. Toby, (the one I use for this forum,) hated his too, and he would fight with it until he got it off. I'm surprised your dog, Alfie, leaves his on and even seems to enjoy it. They are so funny but what great companions they are for sure.

Take care Max and keep us up to date with how you're doing.

Hugs

Lorraine

Hi Lorraine ..... Alfie is carrying a small plastic bowl in the picture - he had eaten some treats from it and I think was hinting that he would like some more haha!  It's late here and I can't sleep. Just having a cuppa and a sleeping tablet in the hope that I will drop off.  Hubby has been snoring for about 3 hours!  I think the chemotherapy is ongoing if I can tolerate it and it halts things - should be due a scan in around 8wks to see what is happening but am going to postpone it until mid May, after our daughter's wedding, because I don't really want to know before then and worry the family. I just want them to enjoy the day - and me too!   Thank you for your message on the thread re strange things people say re cancer.  I found it hard that you thanked me for acknowledging the loss of your son - how on earth could something so massive go unmentioned Lorraine, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel and as you say, losing a child is not something we ever envisage happening, particularly in such a tragic way. I just wish I could give you a big hug in person!

 I was pleased to hear that you feel better now re your lung surgery - it took a while for you. I hope you are not suffering too much after your latest bladder procedure. Will you have  more chemo at some point?

I keep meaning to ask whereabouts in Canada you live. My brother in law lives in Vancouver.

Good to hear from you honey - take good care of yourself. Thinking of you and enjoy your day while I hopefully sleep xx

Hi Max

So pleased you are  now feeling a little better following the rigours of chemo (really annoying that something that can be so helpful has to cause these side effects).  Enjoy some special time before you next session and hopefully your medical gurus will be able to supply some other drugs to counteract now they are aware of your reactions.  My heart goes out to you as you fight the fight with your courageous journey and sending huge hugs and wishes for a peaceful week.forum buddy Jules xx

Hi Max. I can't believe it is almost a month since I heard from you, (that I didn't respond to your post). Even though I haven't been posting on the forum that much, I have been reading some of the posts. I think I'm in a slump these days. We are having such lousy weather here. It seems like its' been winter forever. I am in the eastern part of Canada, Nova Scotia, and your brother-in-law is in the western part, so we're on opposite ends of the country. Vancouver has much better weather than we do. We are used to having lots of snow pretty much every winter, but this winter is ridiculous. We have been having one storm on top of the other and it has been accumulating a lot and we have big drifts that are likely over my head. We sold our house 4 years ago and moved into an apt. thank goodness because our driveway was about 200 ft. from the road. I can't even imagine trying to shovel that out. Even here in this building, they can't keep up with it because it blows right back in as fast as they plow it out. Anyway, enough about the weather; how are you doing? I think about you often Max. I know you are looking forward to the upcoming wedding of your daughter in May and I hope all goes well for that. Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing.

Take care. Lots of hugs.

Lorraine     

Hi Lorraine (sorry to barge in on your thread Max - keeping you in my thoughts as always lovely lady).

Sorry to hear your weather been so bad - sounds like kiddies paradise for snowmen but nightmare for anyone else.  Roll on Spring for you.  How are you doing just now?  Best wishes  Jules xxx

Hi Jules, I'm actually not feeling that badly right now physically, but emotionally, I'm stressed about what's to come. I see my lung surgeon in June and my urologist around May. Neither doctor was very optimistic when I saw them last. The lung surgeon said she can't do anymore surgery on my lung and has no doubts that the cancer will be coming back there. The urologist said I would have my bladder out in the not too distant future. That surgery is huge for women as they have to take pretty much everything out of the abdominal area including the uterus, tubes, cervix, part of the vagina, and part of the colon, along with the bladder. I did speak with one woman who had the surgery and she is much younger than I am and she said it took a lot out of her. If I was only looking at the bladder removal, I likely wouldn't be as concerned, but to go through that surgery and then have the cancer come back in my lung, doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I'll have to take a good long look at that one before I decide.

That's my dilemna right now, but enough about me; how are you managing these days Jules? I know it takes a long time to readjust your life after the loss you've had, but I hope you can at least see a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course your life has changed forever and you never fully recover after such a loss. My wish for you is that you are able to find peace and contentment on your new path, even though you will take that journey without your life partner. Take care my friend and perhaps after we dig out from all this snow, (80 cm) I'll be a little clearer on decisions that I will have to make in the not too distant future.

Lorraine    Hugs.  

Hi Jules, I'm actually not feeling that badly right now physically, but emotionally, I'm stressed about what's to come. I see my lung surgeon in June and my urologist around May. Neither doctor was very optimistic when I saw them last. The lung surgeon said she can't do anymore surgery on my lung and has no doubts that the cancer will be coming back there. The urologist said I would have my bladder out in the not too distant future. That surgery is huge for women as they have to take pretty much everything out of the abdominal area including the uterus, tubes, cervix, part of the vagina, and part of the colon, along with the bladder. I did speak with one woman who had the surgery and she is much younger than I am and she said it took a lot out of her. If I was only looking at the bladder removal, I likely wouldn't be as concerned, but to go through that surgery and then have the cancer come back in my lung, doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I'll have to take a good long look at that one before I decide.

That's my dilemna right now, but enough about me; how are you managing these days Jules? I know it takes a long time to readjust your life after the loss you've had, but I hope you can at least see a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course your life has changed forever and you never fully recover after such a loss. My wish for you is that you are able to find peace and contentment on your new path, even though you will take that journey without your life partner. Take care my friend and perhaps after we dig out from all this snow, (80 cm) I'll be a little clearer on decisions that I will have to make in the not too distant future.

Lorraine    Hugs.  

Hi again Lorraine

It must be emotionally exhausting after such a long journey to still be facing 'what are the options' conversations but really do hope that  when you have your next appointment (one decision at a time!) the outlook may be a bit brighter.  The surgery keeps knocking the stuffing out of you I am sure but in the end your heart will rule your head (it so often does) and I know you will go a long the road that will bring you the best quality of life.

  As my thread says my journey continues - its a different life for me now but one I need to get the most from.  Have the joys of the grandchildren and still working part time and am looking foward to the better weather.  Am not one for sitting around indoors so have got into a routine on the days when I am not working which takes me out for a couple of hours walking in the local area. Am continuing my social life with great friends support and am lucky to have both my children living locally so am around if they need me (all dealing with the grieving process in our own way but very much mutually supportive). Next small hurdle is in a couple of weeks which would have been hubby's birthday  but on the positive side have five day break with the family to Dorset during the Easter hols to enjoy.  Like you say hoping better weather brings a brighter outlook.  Take care and sending supportive hug.Jules xx