Hi everyone I just needed some help. Ever since my mum passed away I have been dreaming each night about the night she passed away. I sometimes wake up crying or having hot sweats. Is this normal? X
Hi hope, my mum passed away at her home she was adamant she didn't want to go back in hospital. It all happened so quick one minute I was downstairs drinking tea then my auntie shouted me up as my mums breathing became very erratic. She began to rattle. The nurse come but didnt seem too concerned as she had a dose of morphine a couple of hours before. My mum didnt open her eyes until her last breath and just looked at my brother and myself. It's funny because my partner was in the room at the time and has to tell me what happened as I can only remember bits. It's funny how the mind can block things out. I have had a few nights sleep where I've had 8 hours but most nights I get around 4. I'm just trying to stay positive and remember my mum isn't in pain anymore. How are you doing? Xxxx
Hi Jensterf, I hope your sleeping improves, it is really the same for me too, sometimes I'm so tired and exhausted I fall asleep downstairs on the settee but when I go to bed I usually keep waking. It is still early days, funeral was only Monday and this whole year has been so traumatic. Everybody tells me to be kind to myself so I'm tryng and hope you can do the same. At least your Mum got her wish of not returning to hospital and as you say is no longer in pain. It is such a surreal feeling isn't it? I'm not entirely sure I've really accepted it yet. I guess all our feelings/experiences are just normal parts of grieving. Take care and keep posting. Hope x
Your description of the last time you saw your Mum has reminded me of when my Nana died from breast cancer. I was only about eight years old but although I wasn't in the room with her when she died my sister and I were called into her bedroom to see her for the last time. I remember that she opened her eyes and looked at me but she was so full of morphine that there was no recognition in her eyes. Also my sister was with my Dad when he died but unfortunately I was travelling to the hospice when he started to deteriorate and I was still two hundred miles away when it happened. She has never spoken about it and to be honest I think it would help her if she described what happened like you just did.
Your sleep pattern will improve in time and you are right to keep reminding yourself that your Mum is not in pain anymore.
I too recently lost my mum. Two weeks isn't long but it kills me every day. I have been having dreams about mum aswell last night I had a dream that we were sitting in the funeral directors discussing flowers. I would say its perfectly normal to dream about a loved one. My husband said yesterday I was moaning in my sleep but again was dreaming about mum.
Hi jen I lost my mum suddenly to cancer on 29th May and I totally feel you. I wake up most nights thinking my mums shouting on me and then reality hits that I lost her. Last night I had the worst dream that she had died and been brought back and she was in so much pain and couldn't do anything herself and I woke up a mess this morning. It's horrible but I think it's all part of the grieving process. Hope you can find some comfort in knowing that your not alone.
