Hi everyone I just needed some help. Ever since my mum passed away I have been dreaming each night about the night she passed away. I sometimes wake up crying or having hot sweats. Is this normal? X
Hi Jensterf, I have spoken to you on another thread of yours before and you have also posted on my thread
I do understand about the dreaming and hot sweats, it has been similar for me. I wondered where your Mum passed away as for me it seemed to make a difference. After my Dad passed away 5 months ago I had vivid images of the night he died. He actually died at home peacefully but we had to wait 6 hours for an on-call doctor and I sat with him, that was followed by the undertaker taking him away. I kept thinking about that image and the empty hospital bed the following day. When Mum was diagnosed I was boardering on hysterical at the thought of going through it at home again, and whenever a hospital bed was mentioned I burst into tears. Mum actually went into a hospice the day before she died, the image of seeing her there was totally a different one, the hospice was very peaceful, but then I had to contend with the fact that I hadn't actually been with her when she passed (had gone home that evening). The hot sweats are basically like panic attacks and I have had them too. Basically I think it is our bodies just going into overload, the thought of starting another day is enormous.
Everybody tells me time is a great healer and I'm sure that is true, so I am just going with whatever emotions turn up whenever they turn up, I'm not blocking anything out. I have found an old hypnotherapy relaxation tape which helps me. Sorry I'm probably waffling on but what I'm trying to say is that I am sure what you are experiencing is completely normal, grief is different for everybody, we just have to try and find ways to relax inbetween the waves of emotions. Take care. Hope x
You appologised for waffling! Never appologise for waffling on here! I think it's a rule written in the small print when we register here.
I am glad you have been able to get some sleep although you mustn't feel guilty for it. It is just your mind's way of helping you heal although it is a very long process. It is sixteen months since Dad died but last Saturday I was crying like it had only been a week so don't feel bad about the times that you don't feel bad - if that makes sense. You will have good days and bad days but but your love for your Mum will remain constant.
I also understand how difficult it is when you say your friends have not been in touch since the funeral. Just give them some more time as they simply may not be sure how to behave around you at the moment and don't want to upset you. In the meantime you have friends here who are always willing to listen and help if they can.
You appologised for waffling! Never appologise for waffling on here! I think it's a rule written in the small print when we register here.
I am glad you have been able to get some sleep although you mustn't feel guilty for it. It is just your mind's way of helping you heal although it is a very long process. It is sixteen months since Dad died but last Saturday I was crying like it had only been a week so don't feel bad about the times that you don't feel bad - if that makes sense. You will have good days and bad days but but your love for your Mum will remain constant.
I also understand how difficult it is when you say your friends have not been in touch since the funeral. Just give them some more time as they simply may not be sure how to behave around you at the moment and don't want to upset you. In the meantime you have friends here who are always willing to listen and help if they can.
