Ok, so I have been in and out of this site for 2 years now. But I have never heard anyone talk about smoking, sometimes about drinking, but that all seems okay. Do you know, I have had so much support from people on this site and I hope I have returned it to others in some small way, but never have I had a discussion or seen a discussion about smoking on this site. I fear I will alienate those who have supported me or feel that I have betrayed those I have tried to support I guess. I'm not a tramp (although it wouldn't matter if I was), I'm a successful well paid manager. I have or had cancer for the last 2 years and I smoke and I drink. There it is. I don't need to hear that it's bad, because I know it is. When I was diagnosed, I did give up (both), but when I started to get better, I started again. For me, I just wanted to feel normal again, the old me, not the new cancer victim me. I'm sorry to those that fight this and I continue to press that self destruction button. Obviously I'm not that sorry because I continue to do it. I'm sure this entry will inspire some antagonism or self help support, I just want to tell the truth. I'm sorry. Julie xxx