hi im 36 mother of 3 n diagnosed dec 23. ive had 2 ops n 5 of 6 chemo n finding it very hard at mo. feel so peed off n cant get rid of that feeling. would love to chat. x
I thought it was about time that I checked in...... lots of things have happened to me in the last year.
I have really struggled since losing my mum, and seemed to have more bad days than good........ but that finally seems to have turned around now.
Let me give you the short version
I had reconstructive surgery April 2011 and unfortunately the left side rejected..... I then had to wait 10 months before they did it again..... this time it didn't reject, but the filler port went missing..... after 3 or 4 appointments, the surgeon finally sent me for an ultra sound.... and then they found the filler port, but it had collapsed under the bottom rib, causing the implant to flip over, so when ever i took my sports bra off, my left breast slipped down my chest about 6 inches (looking back now i can see the funny side ) but at the time i didn't.
I was supposed to be going on holiday to Portugal on the 13th of this month but I had to cancel because I had more surgery scheduled for 11th May..... The surgery seemed to go well and I have 2 boobs again, but it now looks like the surgeon has used a bigger implant in the left side than the right (deep joy) So I'm sat writing this with a chest full of stitches.... but I feel whole again for the first time in 20 months...... and the holiday has been re booked for last week in august, so that will give me something to aim for.
I dont know if i have to have more surgery until i go back to the consultant on thursday..... I will keep you all informed.
Another plus is...... I am doing the race for life on the 24th June..... in fact we have a team from my local pub "the corner pin girls" there are 7 of us doing it so far, my daughter, her best mate (landlady's daughter) a young barmaid, my friend and her daughter and our friend Ann, a pensioner who is a regular in the pub...... we have raised quite a lot of money already................... All the youngsters are jogging, and Ann got a bit upset because she said she was going to walk it..... I told her i was walking it too, so we would walk together...... to which Ann said "I will probably come last"..... so i just smiled and said "Ann, you're a pensioner and i will be a month out of surgery, as long as we finish, that's all that matters"...... so that is something else to look forward to.
I think I have rambled on enough now..... I am glad to see so many people doing so well
I had an appoint today to see the surgeon after my operation, he informs me that I need another one next week as the tip of the tumour was against my mussel and he needs to take more as not happy with the margins. I realise that this is needed but so fed up and angry why is it you feel like nothing goes right for you. He is going in on the same cut as he done two weeks ago which quiet frankly makes me feel sick but have to do what needs to be done.
On the upside of all this it was my implants that potentially saved my life I was told as it made the tumour push out rather than going towards my chest bone and ribs so it is not true what a lot of people say about them, I had the implants as I had breast cancer four years ago on my right breast this is in my left breast and different type altogether, this does scare me at times as I know what's to come with the chemotherapy although I appreciate it has moved forward a lot in four years.
Well that is my rant over now and thanks for listening
You can go consult other surgeon if you want, my sister has Breast cancer and we seek for second opinion, and we find the best surgeon in India. It is always better to seek for second opinion, even though it is abroad, it's all worth it.
Sorry to read what you are going through and we are all here to help each other. How are things going for you have you had your second operation yet? Like you I have to go back in tomorrow as they need to take some more of the mussel as margins not good, let me tell you I am petrified to, I try and think to myself all is fine unsure if I am trying to convince myself or my family and friends.
My sleeping has been up and down what about you hope it has got better or have you spoken to your team to help you. Well keep in touch and let us know how you are doing
No problems knew you would get in touch soon we all have other things going on are you ok give me a shout when you get back from the hospital hope all goes well and then we can have a chat so much to talk about sending a cyber hug
Well just thought I would catch up with you all going back in hospital today so hopefully they will do what needs to be done and I will be home tomorrow, must admit not looking forward to it all again just want to be normal again whatever that is.
This disease is just so nasty I hate it why do we need to suffer like this when there is so much more things going on in the world it is all so mixed up, I hate it
How are you how did you get on at the hospital, Leonie was saying you went through it again last year, I have had enough of this disease not only is it enough we go through it the once, I was so sorry to hear of your fight again.
Well I came out of hospital again yesterday after my second operation I feel so down today and chemo hasn't even started yet, I have to go back Wednesday to see my Surgeon then of to the oncologist week after there is talk that I will have 18 weeks of chemo once a week, not looking forward to it it maybe from the taxatier group by what I remember that makes your mussels ache and hurt will let you know for definite when I find out.
Sorry to ask my dear friend but have you any advice on what to expect second time around I don't mean this how it sounds, did you find it harder etc, I am so angry I thought I had fought the fight of my life already but here I go again like yourself. I find myself asking why me again what have I done so wrong in my life to warrant this. I am of to have my hair cut this week to get ready for the Chemo as don't want the shock I had last time just don't know what else to do I'm just so angry and feel so down in myself and finding it hard to shake of.
Well hope you are all well and sorry for the rant but so fed up
Don't apologise for ranting we all need to sometimes. How are you feeling today?
I know how you feel because I felt exactly the same way. Tbh second time around is easier and harder in equal measures. Easier as in you know what to expect but harder for the same reason. I got through it by constantly telling myself I've beaten this before I can do it again. I heard these words recently and they are so true. Don't look too far into the future and take each day one step at a time. You've beaten this before hun and you can do it again. As always we've got each others support and someone to listen and understand when we think no one else does.
