Hi Lonie,

I was diagonised beginning of Dec. I'v had two ops also. One to remove a cyst, the lining of which turned out to be cancerous. Followed by a mx in January. Have just had my 5th of 6 chemos this week, and am too feeling a bit fed up and low, am putting this down to the nice weather we are having and not being able to go out, that and I'm on my low days at moment.

Available for chat.

thanks for your reply. im so sorry youre going through it as well but maybe we can help each other. dont know anyone thats got this horrible disease which i am glad about. are you married with kids? sounds like im a week ahead of you in treatment. the most painfull part is my mouth n tongue but i cant walk more than a couple of mins now either. did have infection the week before last chemo though. if i walk more i cant move off the couch for a couple of days. must admit my mind is alert than has been since chemo. am taking anti depressants which has stopped some tears. just dont understand why im finding it so hard now with only 1 chemo left. got radio left n herceptin every 3 weeks til next year but that cant be as bad as chemo! know i lost sight of the fact its meant to be keeping me alive but thats not guarentee is it. hope youre feeling a bit better today n sunshine is cheering you up. lonie xx

Hello Leonie my name is jane I am 46 with 3 nearly grown up children, I first had breast cancer in  2005 I had a lumpectomy and chemo and radio , then in 2008 i was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in my spine and then in january it had spread to my lymph nodes and am back on chemo cycle number 6, sadly its not working and I am probably going to start another kind of chemo in july. I am telling you this because i want you to know that you are not alone there are many thousands of women like us battling every day. it's ok to feel peed off I get so angry some days and curse that it is me .....do only what you can on that given day , you need to rest if you don't you will set back your recovery. Be thankful for every day no matter how hard that day is - we are still here and every day I get to spend with my family is a blessing. I find a relaxation cd is helpful I know it sounds like bumkum but just spending 10 mins listening to it helps me and there is one on amazon specifically for healing cancer patients. I find peace in my garden so try and find time just for you even if its only a bath with candles and a book or mag or music. when i retired from work I didn't want my brain to go to mush so I have bought ipod touch and have downloaded games to keep my mind active. and lastly and this was the hardest thing for me it is ok to ask for help it will be readily given by those around you I really struggled with friends coming round to do jobs for me but i can't manage them anymore on my own .... look after yourself and remember a story i told my neice who struggled with self confidence issues - there was china man who walked across china and back again and when he was asked how he did it , he said "one step at a time " take care love jane xx

Hello Jane

I just had to respond to your post. You are truly an inspiration, you really are. With all my heart I hope the change of chemo will work for you, you so deserve to fight this **** cancer. I empathise with you, I have gone through it twice b.c. twice.

Keep your defiance Jane.

Love Miras x

Hi ladies

So sad to hear about Rose. Knew she was going through it with her cancer. How awful for this to be happening to her! She is such a lovely lady n special to us all. Hope to hear from you soon n love you lots special lady. Thinking of you.

Thanks for my well wishes ladies, means a lot to have you there. I'm getting run down looking after charly 3 days a week but I promise I will get on here n write to our new messages. Miras I would love some advice on how to relieve my boob n arm. Will be back on soon.

Love you Rose. Love to all leonie xxxxxx

Hi Leonie

Sorry to have to tell you but  I found out on here yesterday that Rose has lost her struggle against this sh---y disease. She was a great lady.

Jan x

Hello All

I have just come on to catch up and I have just read the news on Rose, I just don't know what to say except she was a real great woman who helped me out many a time, she will definatley be missed by us all. If anyone is in contact with her family please let them know how we will all be thinking of them and my prayers are with them.

I just feel like I cannot say anything now so will speak to you all soon

Take care of yourselves

All my love

Littlesis (Linda)

Hi

ask your doctor or dentist for difflam mouthwash its amazing and stops the soreness if you use it regurlarly.

Hothead xxxx

Please get some difflam mouthwash for your mouth from either your dr or dentist its brilliant, use it neat for the pain and water it down to use when the pain has gone, its brilliant and really works, please spread the word ,  had to have two teeth removed before bone treatment could commence and it has helped me so much.

Hothead

Hi von

Thank you very much for your advise. But this was a while ago I had problems with my mouth. Luckily my mouth has healed now n I don't have any problems now. As for the difflam, it didn't help me when I had all the ulcers in my mouth or with infection. I just suffered!

Really appreciate your post. Hope you are managing ok. Look forward to hearing from you again.

Love leonie xx

Hi Girls..... (hi Tony)

This has been a rough couple of months for us all... The pain of losing Lou and Rose will never go away.... But we got to make what they taught us count.... and like someone said earlier... we are a team.... WE ARE A FAMILY... we stick together through the bad as well as the good.... We welcome new family member (Welcome to our family Maki... hope your surgery went well) And we share things..... who ever told me about the drug "Clonidine" Thank you so much!!!!!!! I now only have about 5 or 6 hot flushes a day, rather than 5 or 6 every minute..... Colly, if you are getting hot flushes, ask your doctor for these tablets... they are amazing... they have made the unbearable..... bearable..... BIG difference.

I am back to seeing a councillor again.... but that's good because she really does help.... I have an appointment to see a solicitor next week so I can get that waste of space husband of mine out of my life for ever.... and I am going to a friends wedding on saturday..... So things are getting better..... Slowly,... but they ARE getting better.

I knew I had something to tell you all...... a couple of weeks ago we had a red hot weekend, I was only out for a couple of hours...... AND I BURNED!!!!!!!!.... I never burn, I have only burnt twice in my life, and both times I was pregnant..... I was at the doctors the next day and happened to mention this....... but I know I'm not pregnant, i got sterillised 15 years ago...... and she pointed something out to me that I had never thought of...... I burnt when I was pregnant because my hormones were all messed up................ Now I am on the Tamoxifen and the Zolendex injections.... my hormones are all messed up again.... so for the first time in my life i have been out and bought some factor 15 sun tan lotion.... for myself.

Another thing they don't warn you about..... lol

Take care everyone

Love always

Caz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Girls..... (hi Tony)

This has been a rough couple of months for us all... The pain of losing Lou and Rose will never go away.... But we got to make what they taught us count.... and like someone said earlier... we are a team.... WE ARE A FAMILY... we stick together through the bad as well as the good.... We welcome new family member (Welcome to our family Maki... hope your surgery went well) And we share things..... who ever told me about the drug "Clonidine" Thank you so much!!!!!!! I now only have about 5 or 6 hot flushes a day, rather than 5 or 6 every minute..... Colly, if you are getting hot flushes, ask your doctor for these tablets... they are amazing... they have made the unbearable..... bearable..... BIG difference.

I am back to seeing a councillor again.... but that's good because she really does help.... I have an appointment to see a solicitor next week so I can get that waste of space husband of mine out of my life for ever.... and I am going to a friends wedding on saturday..... So things are getting better..... Slowly,... but they ARE getting better.

I knew I had something to tell you all...... a couple of weeks ago we had a red hot weekend, I was only out for a couple of hours...... AND I BURNED!!!!!!!!.... I never burn, I have only burnt twice in my life, and both times I was pregnant..... I was at the doctors the next day and happened to mention this....... but I know I'm not pregnant, i got sterillised 15 years ago...... and she pointed something out to me that I had never thought of...... I burnt when I was pregnant because my hormones were all messed up................ Now I am on the Tamoxifen and the Zolendex injections.... my hormones are all messed up again.... so for the first time in my life i have been out and bought some factor 15 sun tan lotion.... for myself.

Another thing they don't warn you about..... lol

Take care everyone

Love always

Caz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi All,

I'm finally home. The op is done and I'M BACK. I had rough night but am pleased that this s**t is out. Now it is a stage 2. I am traying not to think about what will happen in two weeks time, traying to think positive. I've meet some lovely people in the hospital and it is amazing to see how brave we all are when the though gets going.

I hope everyone is ok. What have you all been up to?

Hi Caz, I hope you will have wonderful day at your friends wedding.

Love to all

M x

Hi maki

Glad you are home n op seemed to go well. Hope you recover well n quickly. I have my mother in law down n sometimes it can be hard work! She doesn't stop talking even when I try to write! Bless her. Be in touch soon.

Love leonie xxxx

Hi Maki, glad you are home and that the op went well, just take it easy and dont over do things, today my partner and  I took my girls to the airport, they are away to Ibiza for 2 weeks, oh to be young again and live life to the full. I was so tired last night, I was in bed for 10pm, my chemo finished in oct and radio in Jan and I still get very tired of an evening and ive no small children to run after, Ive went back to work but have cut my hours down by 7 per week so now i work 9-3 instead of 8.30-4.30, it really helps being home just after 3, I really dont think i could manage full time. Keep up with the positivity. Love to all, hope everyone is doing well xxx

Hi Colly,

Thank you for replaying

God I dont know how will I take it when my boys decide to go abroad .  I think I need to relax a bit, being overprotective is not a good thing.

I will be off work for at least two weeks, I tend to start at 7.30am so I get home around 5ish, still on time to get the dinner ready. At the moment hubby is the one who is doing everything, I am most of the time in pain. The tablets do help but doesn't last long.

I hope you will soon feel your old self. Going trough chemo and radio must be hurendus blow to your body.

Have a lovely weekend and stay in touch

Mx

Hi Maki,

I'm so glad that the operation went well..... stage 2 isn't half as bad as it sounds.

Make the most of the next two weeks and get as much rest as possible and try not to worry too much....   I would sugggest you get back in touch with your doctor or your breast nurse as they will be able to help with the pain, and if your medication isn't working as well as it should they will probably want to change it for you, but they dont know it's not working if you dont tell them. please let us know how you get on

Colly... Is it any wonder that you are still tired, your body has been through so much, you had the surgery.... major surgery.... then the chemo.... that is a form of poison (good poison) and then Radiotherapy... that is firing radiation into your body..... it will take a long time to heal from all that..... But the one thing we all tend to forget, (because I know I did) is as well as allowing our bodys to heal..... we have to take the time to allow our minds to heal too....... Having cancer messes with your head.

Now when people ask how i am, i always answer the same way... "I'm still here and I'm still smiling".

Love always

Caz xxxxx

Dear Caz

I would just like to say a BIG thanks for what you have just written, you have summed up how I feel and I will remember that answer next time someone asks me, as I get a bit fed up with everyone telling me how bloody good I look, without having a clue how I feel.  It is true cancer messes with your head, especially when you are trying to get to sleep at night and your body is aching and your mind starts going off on a tangent.  My sister has just been down to see me and I said life will never be the same again.  I am off for my mammogram tomorrow, perhaps I will feel better after that is over and able to move forward.

Thanks again

Anne

xx

Hi Caz, I know you are right, I keep forgetting that I will still be tired, I'm so impatient, just want everything back the way it was before, I want my hair long again and I want the energy back, by the time a friday night comes Im totally done in and because of the Tamoxifen all my joints are sore, plus with the night sweats, Im having a broken sleep, but apart from theat Im still here and still smiling, and being very good to myself, bought 4 new tops yest lol.

Anne Im sure all will be ok with mammogram, I was away for my first one since being diagnosed a few weeks ago and everything fine, Maki hope you're doing ok and dont be rushing back to work, I  was diagnosed on 7th may 2010 and i didnt go back to work until march 2011, you dont get any thanks for it.

Hope all you other ladies and Tony are well xxxx

Hi everyone,

Of course cancer changes you - but let's make it a change for the better. We have new insight into life and what is important and you can be the person you were, only a little bit different because anything traumatic will change you.  i went through such a tough time, which in hindsight seems so silly now. The loss of hair, the tooth being knocked out, the wrinkly lop sided boob, the dreaded effects of chemo and so on and so on, and sometimes it feels as if it will never end.  But life is a gift and we have all learnt to cherish it more than we ever did before. I am sorry to hear that my dear friends are still struggling with pain or aches or generally just being under the weather, but to remind you of your words to me..... don't be so hard on yourself.  I know it is frustrating not to be as you were, but in your times of struggle you have been a godsend to others here - including me. This thing takes time to get over, and while we have the time to enjoy peace quiet rest and love from family friends and out wonderful forum here, we should perhaps use it for personal/spirital growth and worry about the phsyical as we get stronger. We are never too old to learn something new and i have learnt lots from this forum - not just cancer related stuff.

i have been building my strength slowly and steadily - and can tell you stretching slowly really helps will stiffness and aches and pains. epsom salts in a bath also help before bed time and ward off some of those morbid thoughts. Dont be so hard on yourselves ladies, look how far you have come, now it is just impatience - but a good sign - it shows you are getting back to normal. Just think impatience was one of those niggling everyday things you had before all this started. evidence you are getting back to normal.

Smiles, hugs and lots of love, wishing you all well

sara

Hello Ladies/Tony

Sorry to hear some of you are going through the aches and pains, I to am the same, my calf's, fingers on left hand just sieze up and I have to open them with the other hand etc etc, but like some have said we have come so far and through so much we should still smile, what would the newcomers be thinking of us, as I know how I would of felt reading our moans and groans now with them just having surgery, chemo etc etc, come on ladies start thinking positive like we all did this time last year.

Well thats my noan over with, I have just come back of holiday from Turkey it was absolutley fab, I really didn't realise how much I needed a break now looking forward to one at christmas if I can find one at the right price (I can dream can't I) lol. Have any of you got anything planned for the summer?

I go to see my reconstruction surgeon on the 29th July so really pleased about that, I have decided to go with the implants  first as I don't think I could go through any more than that right now but as I'm not having it done until January I still have time to change my mind. I have also come up with like a little spot on my face but it's not one and will not go away, I am petrified of going to the doctors again but I know I must, just being over causious I think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway ladies look after yourselves and you to of course Tony

Speak to you all soon

All my Love

Littlesis (Linda)