Hi I'm 45 and just found out that a lump I had on my breast is cancerous, I had lump and lymph nodes removed last tues, so I'm now waiting to hear what treatment I'm going to need, My consultant has said most likely 8 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks, so 6 months in total and then radiotherapy mon-fri for a month, so i'm kinda in the unknown zone at the moment. Not looking forward to the hair loss, terribly vain i know, but my hair is very important to me like most women, I colour it blonde which will obviously have to stop. As far as I know my chemo will be given intrevenously, so my hair will most probably fall out. I am going to look into getting a real hair wig as I dont think i've got the guts to go au natural, I've also picked up a couple of bandanas to wear about the house. My partner says it doesnt matter if my hair falls out, as long as i'm here. Luckily I've found the lump very early by self examination whilst on holiday and my consultant is very positive about me getting better. I'm very wary about the next 9 months but feel quite determinded that chemo is a wonder drug and will make me better. My girls are 22 and 20 and are amazing, they have read stories in magazines about Kylie, sally from corrie etc and are determined I will just do what the doc says and get better, my partner who ive only been with for 2 years is the most wonderful guy ever, dunno what I'd do without him, he's been with me every step of the way. I was worried about losing my breast, but fortunately I had a lumpectomy which looks amazing. my consultant says put your life on hold for the next 6-9 months get better and you'll never look back, oh yeah sounds easy, but im trying really hard. I hope I'm still this positive whilst I go through my treatment (def not I hear you say) lol, but I'm a determined ***!

Hope to chat to others in the same situation xx

hi colly

just had my lump and nodes removed thursday (12th Aug) so will know my treatment shortly. I am expected to have radiotherapy and chemo but i thought radiotherapy came first, seems on here it is the other way around - perhaps I wasn't listening. I'm feeling a bit daunted at what comes next but more so for the effect it will have on the family - i worry too about not being the glamourous vital woman i was and will that change my realationship with my partner and so on. Although we are planning to get married. So much to talk about! it would appear you will be going through treatment at around the same time as me, so if you would like to stay in touch and discuss our good and bad days, please do !!! my email is simplysara1@hotmail.com

wishing the best of luck to you

sara

Hi Leonie thanks for replying, your post brought tears to my eyes, it is very worrying that we dont get a scan after everything we've been through. I know im blessed to have caught this early and should be grateful im alive. Just cant help worrying, anyway im going to try and not worry, ive not lost my eyebrows or eye lashes, maybe thats still to come i dunno.S Anyway i think im just a born worrier lol. Speak soon. Col x

Hey all,

my daughter of 16 just split with her fella and she's all tears. my front tooth fell out today. I messed up my neices face book by accident and nearly lost her her job. oh deep joy.

anyway all sorted. I had my hair cut three inches. I am going to buy a wig next friday ready for the chemo - and to choose a couple of others for when cash allows so i can have a change. I was very tearful at the prosepct of losing my hair after taking 5 years to grow it from 7 inches to 17. However, i have found WIGBANK. if you ladies (and gents) are having a few money issues, (cancer is expensive!!) have a look at this site. Before I realised I could afford at least one (cheaper end) wig, i found this site and cried with relief.

It hit me then afterwards, that if I felt this, but had a partner who said me being bald with no eyebrows or lashes and a false tooth could still love me, what about those who did not have such support. I have written to wig bank to see if they will help me set up something in my area, and I am going to learn how to attach false eyelashes and draw on eye brows. I am going to learn how to use subtle makeup to enhance ladies who need a little confidence, tlc and pampering. It will be a free service but they will pay for any makeup or lashes wigs etc that they want.

I also decided I couldn't do much about losing my hair - it will be out of my control, therefore how do I turn this into an advantage? Well, I always wanted long hair, sometimes I like it curly, sometimes I don't. So why not have two or three wigs of the same colour with straight, wavy and curls? I can change according to my mood and each style will just look like I have done soemthing different. I can even have the hair of my dreams for my wedding. Let's just hope the tooth on a plate that comes next week is better than the nanny mcphee look I've had since monday!!!!

Yes i am annoying and sound so positive right now, and i know i won't feel so great when the radiation and chemo start, but you've all been so lovely to me, I hope that some of my positive feelings right now will rub off on some of you.

i too get my sentinel node biopsy results next week and i am a bit nervous - it may mean more nodes need to be removed and possibly more from the breast. I share your fears with how it all pans out. So for those of you who have wine - god i would love a glass but pay day is next week and i can't get any till then. do me a favour and slug that gorgeous nectar around and have a glass for me - a BIG one!!! Love and best wishes to all

sara x

Hi Leonie,

Lovely to hear from you.You really are being greedy with these side effects !! You are determined to have them all We shall all have a bottle of wine ready to celebrate when you finish treatment.I cant believe the horrible time you have had and you always seem so cheerful and lovely. Colly,it is normal to feel as you do but it will get better.Keep in there sweetheart. Hello to all the other girls on here.I wish you all the luck in the world. Rose xxx

Hi sara,

You are far from annoying and it is lovely to read up beat posts,it helps us all.that is a lovely idea to pass on tips about hair and make up.I will send some sites that i have come across tomorrow.Here in sunny Wales we have a Maggies center and they have workshops for make up and hair and it is great to have this help and to get together with people in the same situation as ourselves,

Roll on next week,that wine will taste all the better for the wait :love:

Rose xxx

A big hello to everyone

I have been reading the posts and felt quite - well overwhelmed I guess. You are all so warm and welcoming, caring and supportive when you are probably in some ways at your worst. thank you all so much for making me feel so welcome - and taking away that terribly lonely isolated feeling.

sara xxxxxxxx

Hi Ladies

It's good to hear from you all

Lonie, Thank you for the advice about petrol and parking... I didn't realise that you could claim expences back.... that is a huge weight off my mind, and I have got a appointment with the Macmillan benifits officer next wednesday... so I am calming down a bit now.

I was watching a film yesterday and when it finished I just left the television on, and another film came on called "Matters of life and dating" And it was all about a woman called Linda Dankin (Played by Ricki Lake) and it was based on a true story...... And it's all about a single woman called linda who finds out she has breast cancer.... It's a very moving story about how this woman coped with finding she has cancer, having a mastectomy and her recovery and how she got back to work and back into dating..... I laughed, I cried but I most definitely related to the film..... It is so inciteful that I thought there muct have been some serious research gone into making the the film..... but as you get to the end of the film you see that the whole film was made by a poet friend of the lady in question "Linda Dankin" who was also in the same cancer support group as Linda having undergone a mastectomy and chemotherapy herself.

A fantastic film that I could recommed to anyone going through breast cancer..... She had so many of the same worries and fears that I have myself...... it's definitely worth a look

It's called..... Matters of life and dating.

Love Caz xx

Hi guys

so sorry Its been so long, but I have been reading all your posts, Hi to Sara and Caroline sorry you have had to join us, but Im glad the chats have been helping you, I myself have found so much strength from these wonderful ladies, Tues I go for my 3rd Chemo ....so sorry you havnt been feeling to good Colly and you too Lonie your previous post made me cry I wanted so much to just give you a great big hug.

Rose Im glad your not returning to work too soon, thought Id update you on the bald front lol, trying to see the bright side .....quicker showers! no need for an umbrella, money saved on shampoo etc etc.

Have been feeling great these last 2 weeks and have joined the gym again, but am aware that come tues I will feel like pooh again for a few days, still almost half way there ...roll on christmas hey!!.

Much love to you all

Lee xxx

Hi lee well don't you look fab without hair. You have a lovely face which obviously helps. I feel so much better but like yourself I know come wed I'll feel rubbish for a few days then back to normal. Hope everyone is well. Col x

You look sooooo pretty !!If I looked like that I would shave my head permanently.Glad you have mostly good days.On the bad days you must cwtch up on sofa and watch rubbish while eating icecream,its the law !! I cant belive you are so far on with your treatment,seems only a couple of weeks ago you wrote your first terrified post.

Good luck and love

Rose xx

wow Lee, I agree with Colly - you look stunning! i am inspired to hear about you and the gym. I am nearly off smoking (well i cheat a bit but i am not even smoking a whole cig a day so compared with 30 a day thats good - patches and inhaler help!) and intend to do my best to get into shape regardless of the treatments I will have to endure. I still don't really know what they will be or what to expect. Was told radiation and probably chemo. Results of lumpectomy and sentinel node biospy due Tuesday.

I am feeling very nervous about chemo, keep hearing about so many effects. however, Lee you look gorgeous and you have inspired me- i think a long walk tomorrow with my daughter and grandchildren, wear them out and get my lungs and muscles working !

Hope you all had a good weekend - shame about the weather but your comments here always leave me with some sunshine in my life.

sara xx

wow Lee, I agree with Colly - you look stunning! i am inspired to hear about you and the gym. I am nearly off smoking (well i cheat a bit but i am not even smoking a whole cig a day so compared with 30 a day thats good - patches and inhaler help!) and intend to do my best to get into shape regardless of the treatments I will have to endure. I still don't really know what they will be or what to expect. Was told radiation and probably chemo. Results of lumpectomy and sentinel node biospy due Tuesday.

I am feeling very nervous about chemo, keep hearing about so many effects. however, Lee you look gorgeous and you have inspired me- i think a long walk tomorrow with my daughter and grandchildren, wear them out and get my lungs and muscles working !

Hope you all had a good weekend - shame about the weather but your comments here always leave me with some sunshine in my life.

sara xx

Hi Sara,

We sent the previous post at exactly the same time !:shocked: Well done with the ciggies Keep up the good work.

Colly,glad you get some good days as well as grotty ones.You have come so far and are always so happy with everyone.

Where is Loumack these days?Let us know how you are Lou.

Love to you all

Rose xxx

Hi Sara

good luck for Tues my thoughts will be with you and with you Colly on Wed this whole situation is one big roller coaster ride for all of us and we will have good days and bad days but thanks to this site we will never have alone days, thanks girls for the lovely comments on my new look!! it took some getting used to but I guess its not forever.

Take good care all of you

Lots of love

Lee xx

Hi All,

I went to the hospital today - god why is that always such a trauma? full waiting rooms and no air! Still, has to be done I guess. My sentinel node biopsy was clear and so was the margin around the tumour. So, to hell with waiting, after a tearful morning waiting to go to the hospital, i have had two large glasses of wine - soaked in the bath and removed the last of the dressings and feel a bit braver.

i am expected to start chemo in about 4-6 weeks and then radiotherapy, and i am a bit nervous but i am remembering every day the posts here about how life can carry on as normal - believe me - this makes such a difference to being positive, i had visions of being confined to bed for several weeks!

slipped a bit with the smoking today so need to really buck back up tomorrow, but couldn't go without sharing my news and saying once agan a big thank you for all your support. It is amazing how it helps !

Colly love and best wishes for tomorrow x

sara xx

Sara,

What brilliant news honey, I am so pleased for you.... That must be such a relief for you. You celebrate the same way I do.... bottle of wine and a long soak... :grin:

I am about a month behind you in my treatment so I will be turning to you for advice.

I had my MRI scan today so I have to wait till friday to find out how far the cancer has gone.... Then I have got my operation next wednesday and 12 days later I will be exactly where you are now.

As for the smoking..... one day at a time.... so you slipped a bit today, try again tomorrow.... Today you celebrate your good news

I will be back on friday with my results

Colly good luck for tomorrow honey

And to Lee and all the other ladies... Keep on fighting.... Your fight inspires others

Love Caz Xxx

Hi Sara,

Great news :grin: .You deserved the wine and dont panic about the ciggies,back to it tomorrow.Good healthy food for 4-6 weeks to build up your defences ready for treatment. You are getting nearer and nearer the day that your treatment finishes although it may seem far away.

Have a couple of days out and about nd enjoy !!

Rose xxx

well done Sara

Im so pleased to read your news, Colly hope you are ok today, I have had my 3rd Chemo yesterday and I (touch wood) I feel ok, just a little bit sleepy and wobbly but hopefully by the time I finish the steroids and anti sickness drugs then I will be back to my normal self.

will probably keep out the gym till then and just do as the girls say and watch tele on the sofa and eat ice-cream he he xx

Much love to you all and I hope both Shents and Loumac are well.

Love, cyber hugs and kisses

Lee xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Lee and girlies, just back from hospital after 4th chemo of Taxotere which seemingly is the one that makes your bones feel sore, therefore I had to take 4 steroids yest morn 4 last night, 4 this morn, 4 tonight, 4 tomor morn & 4 tomor nte, so hopefully these should help as they say it can be sore right down to your finger tips, the Taxotere takes longer to go in so was at hosp for 2 hours instead of usual 45 mins but feel good so far lol. Lee what do you do when at gym? Ive just been doing yoga classes not actually been in the gym as didnt want to over do it but think i'll get back on the treadmill or bike. I can't wait to get back into the pool but doc has said not to just now incase of any infection. Hope you continue to feel good, not long to go now. Good luck everybody. Speak soon. Col x

Hi Coll

I shall keep my fingers crossed for you that all will be well with the latest treatment, I have been baking banana bread and muffins today! *** I didnt bake before...whats happening to me lol anyway I used to be a personal trainer and dietician for over 15 years so have programmed myself a get back to fitness routine consisting of 5 mins on air bike, 5 mins on rower, 5 mins on lateral thigh trainer and 10 mins on power plate doing various exercises to tone the lower part of the body, then some low weight bicep curls and tricep kickbacks to tone the arm muscles and some gentle abdominal's, the whole process takes around 45 mins with some stretches to end, I hope to keep up this routine through my chemo so that when its all over I will be able to get back into my usual routine as quick as possible and yes avoid the swimming pool..(full of germs) and if you have to go to a public gym try to go at the quietest times and make sure the equipment is clean and sterile.

But good luck your exercise should be like your meals , fun little and often.

All the best

Love Lee xx

hi girls

so glad to hear the biopsy was clear for you. enjoy your last few more normal weeks til the nasty stuff starts. it hepls lots if you can get your head round chemo before you start. n good luck for your results on friday caroline. i just like the others will keep my fingers crossed n my thoughts will be with you.

so nice to hear from you lee n you look great with no hair. might put a pic of mine up. but no ones allowed to laugh at my ears! glad you have been feeling ok, thats just great news. was a bit worried about you. now im just worried about lou.

how are you getting on now patrica? i know your burns were healing well but how do you feel in yourself? i hope you are feeling well now. rose my sweet lady, im doing ok. i can walk further with less pain n am able to go out more. obviously going out has consequencies though, n dont feel that good afterwards. today my body is very tired but i was out the last 2 days. maybe a bit greedy. my boob is swollen red n very sore. did you not have any affects from rads? think my body is getting used to it as im definately less tired. well next friday should be the last one n i look forward to that day so much. then i can concentrate on getting better n better till i no longer need to. theres been some talk about avastin lately (my trial drug) n i feel so bad for the people that need it but are not receiving it again because of cost. life is unfair enough for patients. i realise how lucky i am to be given the chance to take part in this trial n have this drug. just wish i could help those that need it.

colly keep your chin up, you too lee, only a few days till your recovering from the chemo. my thoughts are with you all.

lots of love leonie xxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone,

Golly gosh ! I learn so much on here I am preparing myself for the chemo mentally at least, and I am off for a 45 min walk to the dentist tomorrow, but may get a cab back if my mouth is sore. The inspiration from you all keeps me motivated and I feel a bit dispondent waiting four to six weeks for chemo to start. I am obviously NOT looking forward to it but keep thinking the sooner it starts the sooner it finishes!

I am still smoking but the patches itch several days after they have been removed, so have been thinking about stepping up the inhaler and the gum, thank god its pay day tomorrow and i can think about buying supplies! The steristrips and dressings are now off, and i still have a little bit of blue dye left, a bit of a dent in the area the lump was removed, but an amazing scar - i am impressed - although occassionally i get that vanity downer. Aren't we all a funny bunch!

Leonie, i wish you well, perhaps someone here will be able to tell you how they coped with the radiation soreness. Thinking of you - oh and by the way - don't worry about the ears - you should see my nose ! The ears will be covered again soon enough - my nose - well it will always appear two minutes before i do.

Not a day goes by where I don't think about you all now, best wishes to all.

Sara xx