Telling people

New to the big C, awaiting breast biopsy confirmation but already been told in clinic yesterday they think it's cancerous. Told a couple of friends and my mum. One friend is already trying too hard to look after me, and it's stressing me out. Not told my kids, they are 23, 16 and 6. I'm dreading telling more people; am I being selfish? I haven't got the mental strength to deal with everyone else and their worries and questions. I have recently come out of a mentally abusive marriage which has drained me psychologically. I can barely think straight with this added on top. How do people cope with having to manage everyone elses feelings too? 

  • When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer just over 10 years ago, I made a policy decision not to keep it a secret and tell my friends and family.  I found this was a lot easier than telling some and keeping it from others, with the inevitable problems of (a) remembering who was supposed to know and who wasn't and (b) coping with inevitable situation of what would happen was someone who knew accidentally blabbed to someone who wasn't supposed to know. 

    I think honesty and openness are the best policies in situations like this.

    In my experience, everyone was most supportive and didn't burden me with too many questions.

  • Like telemando I told friends and family and work colleagues , never had any problems some were surprised only had very odd silly questions or comments, every person carried on as normal.

    Sometimes odd people really don't know what to say or do,so usually put foot in mouth without realising it but majority are ok young ones just tell them your ill and having treatment unless they ask then give a straight answer truth is always best.

    Hope treatment if you kneed it goes ok.

    One of our main ladies to talk to is [@Chriss]‍  she's been there done that, there are plenty of other some just starting others finished and helping others.

    Take care keep positive.

    Billy