Hi there Dave...

I know that's really hard to live with .. I've got a bro in law, that took a while to get used to his ... l think that's rotten luck to have a relationship breakdown too .. a lot to take on ...

All I can say is the way I coped with my cancer and l had a grade 3 breast cancer... and I had a total right masectomy... which after having 38 DD was a huge difference to having one "normal boob" and one scar ..

But this is how I look at it every day when dressing ... I look at that scar, and instead of seeing the deformed chest .. I see the scar as my war wound ... it tells me of the journey I've been through .. it tells me, the surgeon took my boob, but gave me something back that was far more precious... it gave me " time" ... time with my little granddaughter... who was 5 then, I've now seen her grow to 8 ... and hopefully a few more yet .., 

There's always two ways to look at things... like there's a head and tail on every coin .. l choose to look at heads .., and if someone feels that matters, then they are not worth my time ... life now is about trying to find one thing every day to make me smile ... 

Like the last answer .. talk to your Dr or hospital team, tell them about those leaks, and ask how you can change things ... and if it happens again .. look round, hold your head up high,and tell them its from having cancer ... then those around you will understand .. and anyone that doesn't, it's their problem, not yours .. you can do this ... wer all there with you ... we all have a cross to bear ... but it's how we deal with it .. if you do, others will ... good luck ... Chrissie x

Hi there Dave...

I know that's really hard to live with .. I've got a bro in law, that took a while to get used to his ... l think that's rotten luck to have a relationship breakdown too .. a lot to take on ...

All I can say is the way I coped with my cancer and l had a grade 3 breast cancer... and I had a total right masectomy... which after having 38 DD was a huge difference to having one "normal boob" and one scar ..

But this is how I look at it every day when dressing ... I look at that scar, and instead of seeing the deformed chest .. I see the scar as my war wound ... it tells me of the journey I've been through .. it tells me, the surgeon took my boob, but gave me something back that was far more precious... it gave me " time" ... time with my little granddaughter... who was 5 then, I've now seen her grow to 8 ... and hopefully a few more yet .., 

There's always two ways to look at things... like there's a head and tail on every coin .. l choose to look at heads .., and if someone feels that matters, then they are not worth my time ... life now is about trying to find one thing every day to make me smile ... 

Like the last answer .. talk to your Dr or hospital team, tell them about those leaks, and ask how you can change things ... and if it happens again .. look round, hold your head up high,and tell them its from having cancer ... then those around you will understand .. and anyone that doesn't, it's their problem, not yours .. you can do this ... wer all there with you ... we all have a cross to bear ... but it's how we deal with it .. if you do, others will ... good luck ... Chrissie x

Thanks Chrissie, I appreciate you responding to my post. You are right, I know you are, but I think it's going to take me time to accept it. How's your health at the moment? 

Hi ...

No it can take time ... my bro had lots of problems for a few months ... but he got used to it, and learned little things that helped, but reach out to others .. and hopefully you'll know your not alone ... 

I'm o.k ... I just take every day as a bonus ... thought I was a gonna, as in the early hours after masectomy,  I was rushed back to theatre with a bleed in my chest ... they got out 1 and a half lettres of blood ... sorry : (( ..... so honestly I can't believe I'm still here .. so I don't look ahead ... just live in the day .. and try to make every day count ... even though I've got loads of health issues , but hay ho ... that's life ..

I've now got a young granddaughter who is battling acute myeloid leukaemia ... and she's had chemo .. radio and stem cell transplant... and a few complications along the way ..and loosing her hair ... but at just 18 , keeps smiling .. and making the best of a bad situation ... I'm so so proud of her...

I'm sure if we look at things differently, we learn to cope better .. but we all have bad days .. where we cuss at cancer and life .. have a good cry .. feel angry .. but then get back up again and back on with the boxing gloves .. and get ready for another round ... Chrissie x

Sorry for the late response. You sound like a very positive person. I know that it is better to have a bag rather than not addressing my rectal cancer, but the accidents really get me down. I suffer with mental health issues, and it doesn't help when I wake up in my own mess. 
Have a Merry Christmas