I can only echo what everyone else has been saying. Your partner doesn't sound at all supportive or loving, maybe your with him more out of habit? This forum is wonderful and the people on here very wise...

You are stronger than you think...have "that" talk with him, you don't need this horrible negativity in your life......let us know how you're getting on? Xxxx

I agree with all the advice you have been given. Be brave and get rid of him now and look forward to beating the cancer and having a loving supportive partner in the future. Something I should have done years ago. Been married 54 years and put up with husbands selfishness making excuses for him. He now under palliative care for secondary cancer in his pancreas and can be unbearable. He has no empathy for anyone else and thinks I should be fine doing everything needed and carry on as normal. It's true leopards don't change their spots

Suenmags

There is no room for non fare paying passengers in this process, either he steps up and starts supporting you or he clears off. For him it’s that simple. 

I can't really add more to what others have said.  You know him best and he does sound toxic and not someone to have around.  The only thing is (and only you can answer this) is he just being horrible and unfeeling... or is he too scared to face up to your diagnosis ?  Either way, it is the last thing you need. 

Hugs and best wishes

I’d like to thank everyone who has responded to my post. It gives me confidence that you are using words that I have used to describe him (toxic, negative) and  I am not imaging it. He has been even worse tonight. He never apologies either. Today he tried and when I came home at first he tried until I said I wasn’t hungry and then he flipped and started shouting. Saying that he couldn’t continue being miserable and life goes on. I will wait until he’s calm tomorrow and then suggest that we have a trial separation don’t want to get his back up too much....

His behaviour has been like this for over a year so it is not because of the current situation. It just is how he is and I know he won’t change.

Take care, Carebear. 

Blowing up at minor things (such as you saying you’re not hungry) and shouting at you is a sign of an abusive man xx And....you don’t need to ask his opinion or suggest a separation....you’re allowed to make that decision by yourself and just tell him xxx 

Hi...

Oh please try not to feel alone... I have only just joined this site as my partner has cancer and I feel I need people around me who I can offload to as well.

However I feel so very sad for you and I would love to keep in touch.

I have a friend in a terrible marriage, she is fortunate to not have the awful disease, but I get so uptight that she has put up with an awful man for 30+ years.... Please get out of that relationship, you will cope a lot better without him!

I appreciate it's a very daunting thing for you to do but seriously, you now have the support of SO many nice people on here.

You can write on here anytime and you will have someone who will I am sure respond to you. Find the strength to tell him he is not needed and let the people who want to support you and who care about you look after you..

Take care.

Sending you love and hugs..

Gaynor xx

Hi I didn't like to say anything before me being a man but congratulations and we'll done. If I was like him my wife would have kicked me out years ago. Again well done.

Billy 

Well done, Carebear75. I know you didn't make the decision lightly. You've had time to think things through and do what's right for your wellbeing. It's a brave move.

Hope you now have the chance to relax, and make a good life for yourself.

regards, gamechanger