Oh KaytO,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I can so empathise with all that you have said about your beloved daughter. I lost my brother when he was only 28, newly married and, with all of his life ahead of him. That will be 40 years ago next year, yet the pain has never subsided.  My poor mother never recovered from the shock. She too has passed now.

Friends become few because they don't know what to say to you, the few that stay are your real friends, who are there for you no matter what.

We carry on because we have to. There are a number of people who have been in similar situations and, these are the people who have the understanding. Talking to them can help both of you to carry on. It may be nine years on, but I can still feel your pain and I offer my sincere sympathy for your tragic loss.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thanks for the reply

My daughter passed away coming up 7 years ago  she had triple negative stage 4 breast cancer at the time we thought it was caught early so she would come through, unfortunately she didn't but she fought a good fight obviously I'm still devastated she was 31 and a mammy to a 5 year old, I was thrown in to motherhood again at 53 although she lives with her dad and he is also amazing looking after her she is know 12 and he says she has to live with me lol she is 12 thinking she is 20, anyway it's not easy to loose a child especially the only one you had

 l am so, so, sorry to hear of your great loss, and know that l do not have enough words to comfort your pain entirely, but hopefully with all the others on this forum adding their thoughts and wishes it might be possible to help make it just a little more bearable

  As a survivor of bowel and liver cancer,l live every day with those l met on my journey that sadly did make it with me to my destination. l question why me and not them, some were much more deserving,younger,those with children, those that had more potential, the list goes on.It has taken me years to come to terms with this, or at least accept and move on.The one constant that has carried through was the determination to live every day l have left to its full, to somehow justify our joint battles and to carry them with me in my heart,mind and on my shoulder, they help me to be a better person.l hope the memory of your daughter will help you in the life you have in front of you

                                                                            David

Thank you so much for your kind and comforting words . With the global pandemic right now I am grateful my sweet Caroline is not here so very very sick as she was with this additional terror. I miss her desperately but know one day I will be with her again. God Bless You

I am so very sorry you lost your beautiful daughter. I don't understand in this day and age why we can't find a cure for that wicked evil cancer. Why oh why does it attack young people and children.?! It devastates us as parents. I am so thrilled that you have a grandchild from your daughter. My daughter was only 26 and didn't have a chance to have any. God Bless you!

My daughter died at Christmas  2017of acute myloid leukaemia, she was 33 and a divorced mum of one boy.Every day still ask what if I had  made more of a fuss when they cancelled her hospital  appointments  until it was too late what if I had argued with doctors more.What if she could hear everything  that was said around her .What the hell is going to happen  to my grandson.Every day I feel no better, and want to join her .Sometimes  ican function but other days I am just in a big black hole

Hello Finleynan, 

I am sorry to hear about your daughter - it must be so hard for you and I just wanted you to know we are all there for you. Try not to think that you could have done more - you have done absolutely everything you could for your daughter I am sure about that and I am sure she appreciated having such a wonderful mum. It does sound though like you could do with talking to someone about everything you have been through recently - perhaps your GP would be able to help?

Don't bottle everything up - talk to your doctor about how you have been feeling, that some days you can function but others you feel like you are in a deep black hole. Your doctor will be able to guide you I am sure and help you get through this intensely difficult time. 

If you feel things get too much and you want to talk to someone, don't hesitate to call Samaritans - you can ring them for free on 116 123. 

We're thinking of you during this emotional time - nothing is harder than losing a child at such a young age. You are not alone though, there are many on the forum who find themselves in a similar place and who are there to listen and to share their story with you.  

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

My heart breaks for you. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at 36 but survived. Even that was traumatic enough. Through that year of treatment I lay awake so many nights thinking how would I cope if he died. It was torture. There's you having actually had to go through that worst fear. I just can't tell you how much empathy I have for you. It's beyond comprehension how cruel life can be. I hope you have managed to find some comfort in your faith. Sending you love 

Peter,

I pray you are still with us. I reread your beautiful response and wonder how much the human spirit must endure. I will pray for you.

Kelley