To my wonderful John,

I miss you more and more every day. It will be ten weeks tomorrow since you were cruelly taken away from me and I will never understand why. We had so many hopes, dreams and future plans.

You will forever be my best friend, soul mate and husband to be.

Sleep tight my angel, I love you so much.

Your loving fiancee Sarah xxxxx

Hi Sarah,

What a lovely tribute you have writen about your John. I feel so sad that you have been so cruelly parted Sarah.

Please take care, Brian

Hello Sarah

That was a beautiful tribute to your John it's just not fair I feel so sad for you, but sweetheart he is still with you, watching over you and loving you as you loved him.  I know my lovely David is with me and that is the only thing that keeps me going.  Sarah hold on to the fact that he is with you and hopefully it will help to ease your pain.

Take care

A great big huuuuuuuuug for you from me

Beryl xxxcc

Hello Beryl

You know something? I am finding it harder and harder every day and I don't see myself getting any better. I am seeing each day as another one without John when I should be thinking it's another day that I'm getting better.

The support that I had in the beginning has diminished. My family, friends and work colleagues think that I'm ok because I am plastering a smile on my face every day. I feel so empty inside and I don't feel happy or joyful anymore. I also don't get the support from John's parents either and I haven't spoken with John's sister since the funeral. We fell out over something very silly indeed, but at the time it really bothered me.

I'm sorry to be feeling like this and I am mad because it;s a lovely day, it's Friday and I go on holiday on Monday. 

Have a lovely weekend Beryl and let's hope this sun sticks around.

Love Sarah xxxxxxx

Hello Sarah

I do understand d how you feel that is just how I feel. I plaster this smile on my face and I just ache for my lovely David and i wake up each day and think how am I going to get through this day without him.  Like you all the promises made to me at David's funeral have all diminished and no I am not happy anymore I used to be so so happy and it has all gone.  Don't be sorry to be cross it's because it is a lovely day and like me you want your partner with you

Sarah my love have a lovely holiday don't forget your John will be with you watching you and taking care of you.

Take care sweetheart

Berylxxxx

Good Morning All

I thought I would post a comment on my own thread. I just want to let you know that I completed the Race for Life yesterday in just over half an hour. I jogged, walked and jogged some more. It was 5k and it was relatively flat. I was so surprised just how many people have been touched with this terrible illness.

I cried throughout the whole event because I missed John so much and also about how much I wanted to do this for everyone. At work I have raised about £100.00 and I am so grateful to my colleagues for supporting me. I know that John would have been so proud me, especially as he was always the fitness fanatic and I'm not!!!

Speak soon

Sarah xxxxx

Hi Beryl

I did the race in Bridlington (East Coast). It was a bit breezy but that was because the race was on the cliff tops!!! It was lovely to be able to look out to the sea when I was doing it. I would love to live at the coast (I have always loved it since I was a girl) but I can't guarantee a good job there because they just rely on the tourists to keep the money coming in.

Feel a bit brighter today, that might be because I had a nice weekend. I am trying to focus on the future now and not dwell on the past. I have put all John's reminders, notes, letters, cards in my special memento box. I used to carry them around with me all the time in my handbag but I found that I was looking at them all the time and analysing everything. I will just look at them now when I want to do. I am also booking a holiday to Florida with Rhys for August. I want to be away when the wedding weekend falls, it's the 31st August and I don't think that I could handle being at home. I have been a few times to Florida and I love it there.

Anyway I hope you are ok Beryl and had a nice weekend?

Big hugs

Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,

Well done for completing the race and also for the money raised. John is not the only one proud of you, all of us on here are proud of you too. Well done for every pound raised, is a step closer to beating this evil disease. Take care, Best wishes, Brian

Hi Sarah,

I just wanted to say congratulations on completing the Race for Life.  I've never chatted to you before but read your profile today and saw that you have lost your husband to this evil disease.  I wanted to say I'm very sorry this has happened to you and with you both being so young.  My husband has incurable bowel cancer (he is also young at 28) and we are just trying to enjoy the time we have left together.  I'm glad you are managing to get out and do positive things in spite of what's happened.  I hope to be able to do the same.

Take care, Beaker.xxx