Just want to send you a massive hug. My wonderful dad, my best friend died from liver cancer in April at age 59, I’m 34. I get it, this part is so hard I know, the realisation of what’s happening and what’s to come. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone x

Thank you so much. Do you really think this is the hardest bit? I really hope so 

I think so because it just was so many feelings to process at once… the shock that this was the ending, the pain, the dread of how and and when, the absolute knife in the chest feeling. I’m 6 months down the line now, i still have a cry every day but I also can remember lots more of our good times now. To be honest lovely we never stopped having good moments, even at the end, we still shared a joke and a funny story even in the last days and that was my Dad all over. He always put me first … god I miss him. But I don’t miss seeing him deteriorate and now I feel more rational and less destructive in my grief then I did when he was waiting to pass and just after. I’m here if you ever want to talk, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through I really am. I also made a long list of all the positive things over my lifetime with him which help when I feel like I can only think about the cancer. I’ve so many things I can go back and read, moments from childhood all through to adulthood of big and small moments together which defined us, not the cancer. It’s helped on the days that I can’t seem to think of anything else but negative things xxx

I think so because it just was so many feelings to process at once… the shock that this was the ending, the pain, the dread of how and and when, the absolute knife in the chest feeling. I’m 6 months down the line now, i still have a cry every day but I also can remember lots more of our good times now. To be honest lovely we never stopped having good moments, even at the end, we still shared a joke and a funny story even in the last days and that was my Dad all over. He always put me first … god I miss him. But I don’t miss seeing him deteriorate and now I feel more rational and less destructive in my grief then I did when he was waiting to pass and just after. I’m here if you ever want to talk, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through I really am. I also made a long list of all the positive things over my lifetime with him which help when I feel like I can only think about the cancer. I’ve so many things I can go back and read, moments from childhood all through to adulthood of big and small moments together which defined us, not the cancer. It’s helped on the days that I can’t seem to think of anything else but negative things xxx